Meet You There
by brighteyes87
Summary: Cowritten with Lanie Anderson. Angel fathers a child with Buffy but leaves before she has the chance to tell him. What happens when he comes back to discover the four years he has missed? Better summary inside. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Meet You There**

Summary: Five years ago, Angel showed up at Buffy's doorstep, alive after his battle with the senior partners but in terrible shape. She helped him, nursed him back to health but realized all the while that he wasn't the same man that he once was. After one last night of passion, he leaves her, telling her nothing except that he had to find himself, figure out who he was again now that he's lost everyone who was once on his side. Then, five years after he left, he shows back up on her doorstep, not expecting the surprise she had in store for him, a son. Can the two find happiness with each other after all this time? Can he bond with the son he never knew he had? Moreover, what happens when something happens to their son that could change the way their relationship had begun to unfold? This is a story about endless love, passion, forgiveness and redemption.

Chapter One

She stood there, mindlessly staring at the apples that were now cut into perfect crescent moon shapes, just as he liked them. Over the past four and a half years he had become her entire world, every moment she had, he was in her thoughts and she worried about him constantly, afraid of what might happen to him if she ever let him out of her sight. But now, he seemed to be growing up faster than she had ever imagined and it was no longer easy to protect him, to keep him safe. He would be starting school today, Pre-Kindergarten, her schedule would be freer, an entire half a day that she would have to herself, and entire half a day that she wouldn't be there to watch him, make sure he was okay. She shook herself from her trance, putting the apple slices into a baggie before putting them in his superhero lunch box, the one he had insisted she buy for him, begging her at the store, the same eight words constantly spewing from his tiny mouth, "I want to be a superhero like daddy." She gave in; she always gave in as she looked at his hazel eyes, a seemingly perfect mixture of theirs into the most beautiful shade she had ever seen, a constant reminder on her sons face of the one man she had ever truly loved.

She glanced briefly at the calendar, five years ago today. It had been five years ago that he had left her alone and pregnant. Granted, he had no idea that she was at the time, she hadn't been far enough along to tell him, it was something she wanted to be sure would stick before she vocalized it. She could hear him moving around above her, probably checking his backpack, making sure all his pencils and paper were safe in their compartments and stored in the small sack. She wasn't sure how she was going to make it through the next four hours, how she was going to be able to part with him, to leave him in the care of someone else who had no idea what kind of dangers were out in the world, who had no idea that there were people who wanted to take him away from her. He was excited though, ready to meet other children his own age, to have more freedom than she had allotted him.

_She heard a thump against the door, startling her. She hadn't been expecting anyone and very rarely did people come knocking on her door in the middle of the afternoon. All her friends were busy either working or in school leaving her the afternoon to catch up on the sleep she never got during the night on her patrols. She jumped off the couch, looking out the door and saw only a figure slumped against it. As she opened the door slowly, she watched as his face came into view, not expecting to see Angel there._

_He was in a terrible condition, bruises on his face and arms, cuts on his leg, blood staining his shirt. He couldn't even hold his head up, and he seemed to collapse against the side of the house as the door moved. She crouched down, her knees bending as she lowered herself closer to him, touching his chin softly with her thumb and index finger as she turned his face to look at hers. A bit of blood dripped from his cheek on to her finger but she didn't seem to notice, she didn't take into account the tepid feel of it or the pulse that now inhabited his veins, nor did she notice that the sun was hitting his face and not burning him._

"_B… Buffy?" He whimpered, alerting her and telling her that he was hurting more than it seemed._

"_Shh. I'm here." She responded, feeling him as he weakly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling himself closer to her, trying to seek comfort in her. She kissed the top of his head affectionately, not realizing how intimate _

_the gesture was, not even thinking for a moment that she was over stepping the boundaries that they had put up to protect their hearts so many years ago. She let her hand softly caress his back, feeling his wet tears against her chest as he sobbed from the pain._

"_Come on; let's get you inside and in a bed." She finally whispered after he had calmed a bit. Carefully, she helped him stand, his weakened state not really allowing him to balance on his own. She put her arm around his waist, while he draped his arm around her neck and she took that hand into her own. Making it up the stairs would be complicated no doubt but she was strong and she would find a way to get him up there._

"MOM!" the little voice broke her train of thought and brought her back into the present. "I can't find my pencils!"

"I'll be right there!" She called back up; double-checking to make sure that everything he would need for his snack was there and accounted for before closing up the lunch bag and putting it on the side of the counter, making a mental note not to forget it.

She climbed the stairs, all the while remembering how difficult it had been to get Angel up them that fateful day, the day that her whole world had changed. It seemed like it was only yesterday but she knew better, she now had a four and a half year old son from the decisions she had made after that day. It would be a lie to say that she regretted them, every day when she looked at her son's face, every time that his eyes met her own, she was reminded of her first and only true love, the only man who could make her feel so happy and so sad all at once. The only thing she regretted was not preparing herself for his departure, knowing their history, she should have expected him to leave, but she didn't, thinking that maybe this time things would be different.

"_This is going to sting a little." She said, dipping the washcloth into the bowl of warm water. He laid there on top of the covers, clad in only his black boxer briefs, the wounds now fully visible to her. She knew he was strong, that he would heal soon, but it was important to clean them, not only because it would speed up the healing process but also so that he could be comfortable. Because his condition did not allow him to stand, his weakness barely allowing him to balance himself, she had to resort to sponging him off. To say it was difficult would be to put it lightly but she pushed through her thoughts of desire and the fact that a basically naked Angel was laying there in front of her, instead she concentrated on keeping her eyes at the cuts, a deep one, across his abdomen, as well as on his shoulder._

_She heard him groan as she let the warm sponge touch the open flesh. As she glanced at him briefly, their eyes met and she could see the tears pooling up in the corners of his chocolate eyes, the eyes that once looked at her with such adoration and love, now pleading her to make the pain stop. She wished she could, with every ounce of her soul she wished she could help him, make him see that the pain was only temporary. Then again, she had no idea what was going through his mind, he just looked so lost, so confused, and so alone._

"Where were you looking?" She asked, standing in the doorframe looking at her son as he frantically ran around the large bedroom. He didn't respond, just flopped down on the floor and began to wiggle under the bed, hoping that the case had fallen from the bed and onto the floor where he might have accidentally kicked it under.

"I've looked everywhere!" He responded, she could tell he was exasperated. He always hated it when he misplaced things; he enjoyed order and neatness even at such a young age. It was a trait that she assumed he inherited from his father, she never was one who could be bothered to actually keep things organized, she hired a cleaner to do that for her. "There it is!" She heard him cry out from under the bed before watching as he pushed himself out and stood up, his shirt now wrinkled and pulled out from the waist of his pants. He put it in the backpack and zipped it up, that way he could insure that everything would remain where he left it.

"Come here you." She said, still standing by the door, a huge smile on her face as he ran over towards her and threw his arms around her. She picked him up and kissed his cheek. "I'm so proud of you; I can't believe how quickly you 

are growing up. It seems like just yesterday we were bringing you back from the hospital, all bundled up in that adorable blue blanket. Soon you won't even need me anymore." That single thought, the thought that he wouldn't need her around, it stirred up the panic that she always felt when she parted with him. He was her only link to Angel, and the only person that she loved just as much, if not more than him. Without him in her life, she felt as though she would truly be alone, he fulfilled her in ways that saving humanity, slaying vampires never could, he gave her a purpose that she chose, one that no one but her had a say in.

"I'll always need you mom." He responded, laughing at what he thought was a silly comment on her part before kissing her on the cheek. "Come on mom! We are going to be late!"

She put him down, his words filling her heart with happiness, and watched as he ran down the stairs, all the while hoping that he wouldn't trip and fall. He had so much energy that sometimes it was daunting. Sure, as a slayer she had more energy than the normal person off the street but this was different. Here was this little child who could run for hours upon hours if he was allowed to, and after spending long nights on patrol, usually using all that energy up, it was hard to keep up with him in the morning.

"Mom! Where is my breakfast?" He called from the kitchen.

"Calm down baby. We have plenty of time." She replied, walking towards the cupboards, pulling out a box of his favorite cereal. She placed the box on the counter and reached for a clean bowl and spoon, giving him the spoon as she reached the refrigerator, grabbing the milk and noting that it was almost empty. "Guess I'll have to go to the store after I drop you off this morning."

"Oh! Can you get those cookies?" He said as she poured the remainder of the milk into the bowl that was now filled with cereal. She placed it across the counter and watched as he dug in, eating much quicker than she liked him to.

"Maybe." Was her only response as she walked to the other side and took a seat next to him, running her fingers through his short brown hair before kissing the top of his head, breathing in the scent that was his own.

"_I can't do this alone." She whimpered, the tears streaming down her cheeks as she sat on the couch next to Xander._

"_I can't believe that he would do this." Was his only response as he held his friend in his arms, acutely aware of the pain she was feeling. He had seen this before, bore witness to the destruction that was the Angel and Buffy relationship. "What are you going to do?"_

_She tensed at his question, surprised that he would think she could go that route, not with this child, or any child that was blossoming inside her body. "I…" She started before she stopped herself, and wiped some of the tears off her wet cheeks. "I have to keep it. It's mine… And it's part of Angel too. I can't give that up and if I can't be with him at least I'll have a part of him with me forever."_

_Xander tried hard to stifle the sigh that was building inside of him. This tumultuous relationship always seemed to cause her to make decisions that weren't really good for her, causing her to not think things through the way she should, to realize that bringing a life into the world was a big deal and she was only twenty-four years old. "Well, I can't speak for Willow but I'll help you, if you need help I'll be there. What are friends for if not for situations like this?" He kissed the top of her head, and she leaned into him, hugging him close against her._

"_Thank you Xander, for understanding." She replied as he hugged her back. She was truly grateful that she had friends in her life as wonderful and as supporting as Xander and Willow had been over the past nine years. Now she just had to find a way to tell Dawn and Giles. Giles would certainly not be too thrilled with the idea of a child, her life was complicated enough and now throw in another life, a life that she would be responsible for, a life that many would want to take, it was probably going to be the greatest challenge of her life._

"Can I play with Uncle Xander today? After school?" He asked, pulling her out from her memory.

"I don't know, I think he is working this afternoon, but maybe he can stop by after work?" She responded as she watched him push the bowl away from him, a sign that he was finished eating. "I'll give him a call after I drop you off, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to play with you and come over earlier than he usually does when he watches you while I work." Xander was after all, a little boy in men's clothing and the two got on so well.

"Okay…" He replied, jumping down from the stool, grabbing his lunch bag as he did. As she brought the dish to the sink, she watched as he opened his backpack up one last time, stuffing the bag that contained his snack in it. She followed a few moments behind him, locking the door to the house and meeting him at the car.

"Ready?" She asked, putting the key in the ignition and starting the car as he nodded enthusiastically. "Okay." She put the gear in reverse and backed out the driveway, dreading dropping him off and not being able to spend the day with him as she usually did. As she made her way down the street however, she failed to take notice of the black car that surely would have jogged her memories even more so than they already were.

**Authors Note (Brighteyes87)**

**Well, I hope that you like how this is going. I have just gotten back from Europe, yesterday actually and Lanie and I had been working on this for a little while but I just thought I'd post it now and see the reaction that it gets. Anyways, for those who read Asking for Trouble or Save Me From Myself... I'm currently re working Save Me and it will have a new title and hopefully I'll get that posted before Monday... Same deal with Asking, I'm hoping to get a new chapter up by monday or tuesday... Anyways, I hope you like this story so far. Please leave some reviews and let us know!**

**Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

He had been traveling for five years, spanning the globe to find some sense of a purpose. Going back to Europe was a trip, returning to a part of the world that he once spent terrorizing when he was undead, before the curse had restored his soul, before the Powers had restored his humanity. Things had changed immensely, no longer were there only the Victorian homes, now skyscrapers seemed to dominate the skylines of the cities and the bustling of the cities were overwhelming. He had returned to Sri Lanka, it had been a few years since he had been there, back when he thought he had lost Buffy forever and needed to seek refuge, only to find a monastery infested with demonic monks. There he tried to find spiritual guidance but that seemed to only emphasize the loneliness that he was feeling, it was there that he began to wonder what she had been doing back home, how she was. Australia had allowed him to spend time on the beach in the warm sun, but the entire time he was thinking about how much she would have loved to be there, how Australia would have been an exciting place for the two of them to go to together, alone. In South America, he spent time in Costa Rica, hiking through the rainforests, and then he traveled to Brazil, spent some time on the Amazon. It was there that he decided that he could no longer spend his life running from the future. He had come to realize that what happened in the past was not his fault, that he couldn't have stopped it from happening and in trying to sort things out, he had deserted the one person who was there for him, who would be there for him.

Now, here he was, back on that familiar street wondering if she would or could ever forgive him for leaving her yet again. He thought it was what he needed, he thought that getting away would make things better; that he would be able to figure out what he was doing, what he was suppose to do with his life, and if he could forgive himself for getting his only friends killed. Somehow, he always thought that there was a metaphorical romance in retreating into the darkness, that at some point, without knowing it, the darkness would disperse and eventually the light would be let back in. Instead, he found that he had been foolish and the darkness was not real but only caused by his own self-imposed blindness. It wasn't until he began to realize that the only cure to his blindness was through the love of the woman who had always loved him, even when he had been intolerably cruel to her, even when he pushed her away because there had not been the hope of a future for them. Then, when he was finally given the chance to give her the future they had always wanted, had always dreamed about, he was a broken man, unable to grasp that all he really would need was her love to make it through it. He had been so foolish, and he wouldn't blame her if she finally gave up on him.

He sat in his car, his dark sunglasses shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight, watching the house, waiting for movement. He found himself singing along to the songs that were coming from the speakers of the stereo, Barry Manilow of course. As corny as it seemed, as lame as it made him, he still couldn't stop from listening to the crooner.

"Sometimes goodbyes are not forever, It doesn't matter if you're gone, I still believe in us together, I understand more than you think I can, You have to go out on your own, So you can find your way back home, And somewhere down the road, Our roads are gonna cross again, It doesn't really matter where, But somewhere down the road, I know that heart of yours, Will come to see, That you belong with me, Letting go is just another way to say, I'll always love you so," He sang softly, his voice barely audible as he kept his eyes on the front door. He realized as he contemplated the lyrics, their connection to the situation that he was in now, it seemed like a fitting song to be playing. He knew it was early, that the chance of her even being awake was slim; she had never been one to enjoy the mornings. That why, when the door opened and a young boy bounced out the door followed by the love of his life, his jaw seemed to drop. He was frozen in place, he thought that the moment he saw her he would march up to her and take her in his arms, apologize and they could go back to the way things were, before he left to find himself.

Surely it couldn't be, she couldn't be a mother. He hadn't expected her to move on. Deep down he thought that she would always wait for him, that she knew they belonged together and she would hold out, waiting for him. It was a vain thought on his part, the thought that her world revolved around him was selfish and he realized it after the thought came out of his mouth. It hit him then that there must be another man in her life, that there was even a strong possibility that she was married now. Suddenly he felt winded, as though he had taken a serious blow to the stomach. It began to feel as though his stomach had taken residence in his throat and he closed his eyes tightly, hoping that when he opened them the scene that he had bore witness to was only an illusion. However, when he opened them again, he still saw the same thing.

He zeroed in on her. Noting the way her hair seemed to shine in the light, the sun catching the golden highlights of her blonde hair. Her skin seemed smooth and the summer had seemed to create a soft healthy glow. His eyes traveled over her body, although he was sitting far away he could still see how in shape she was and his eyes landed on her legs that were visible, as she had worn shorts. Lastly, he gathered the courage to look to her face. There he noticed the smile that graced her beautiful countenance, she seemed happy. It occurred to him at that moment that maybe coming back hadn't been the right choice after all. He had been so desperate to see her, to be near her that although he had contemplated the possibility that she could be in a relationship, he never really allowed himself to believe it. He had always believed that at the end of the day, they were the only ones who belonged together. He had been around for such a long time and he knew that no one had ever meant as much to him as she had. Now, seeing her with a son, he realized that he had possibly ruined their future together.

As he watched the car pull out of the driveway, he slouched down in the seat; the last thing that he wanted was for her to see him. He wasn't sure if he could deal with it now, he wasn't sure he could handle the fact that she couldn't be his anymore. All he had wanted was to go to her, to be with her and take her in his arms, promise her that he would never leave her again, apologize profusely, and then spend the night making love to her. Now that plan seemed like only a distant dream, one that he would never be able to act upon.

As the car disappeared after turning the corner, instead of driving away his curiosity got the best of him. He got out of the car, locking it behind him and walked up towards the house. He knew Dawn wouldn't be around, she surely would have gone off to college and since there were no other cars parked in the driveway, he concluded that her mystery man was off at work or something of the sorts. Breaking in was easier than he had expected, apparently she had forgotten to lock the back door, a simple twist of the doorknob and he found himself in the kitchen.

He stood there looking around, he wasn't even sure what it was that he was going to look for, he just knew that he needed to find something to figure out who this boy's father was, and maybe see if she was with him. He hated that she could drive him this crazy, hated that with any mention of another man who could be loving her, his body seared with a rage that was almost uncontrollable. No, she wasn't the same innocent sixteen-year-old girl that he had fallen in love with thirteen years ago, but he still saw her that way. She was still the naïve, beautiful, young, spirited girl who knew exactly how to push his buttons, who knew exactly what to say, what to do, to drive him mad with lust and love. He hated the jealously that always seemed to rise inside of him when he thought of her with another man, he just couldn't bear to think of someone else touching her, kissing her, and more importantly, loving her, that was his job, even though he had been less than stellar at it over the past few years.

He walked around the house looking for anything, for pictures but found nothing containing any man. In the family room there were pictures of Buffy with the young boy, they looked happy and content. There were other pictures of the boy by himself and even some with Willow and Xander. He briefly thought that maybe the child was Xander's but that was impossible, the child looked nothing like him and when he made his way into the boys room he found a drawing with the name Uncle Xander on it. Well, that had proved to be a bigger relief than he had even expected, the thought that she had sought solace in Xander might have killed him. There had always been something about that kid that angered him; maybe it had been his ability to connect with Buffy, even if she only thought of him as a friend, the fact that he knew more about her, even now, than he ever could. Granted his five year disappearance didn't really help that, had he stuck around he could have had the chance to learn about her, see the person that she had become since Sunnydale had fallen.

He didn't know what else to do anymore, as much as he wanted to stay in the house he knew better. He felt somewhat uncomfortable snooping around like he was, but he just wanted answers, answers that he still wasn't able to find. He knew that the only way to really understand the situation to know what was going on with her would be to talk to her and it was exactly what he would have to do even though he didn't know if that was going to be the right thing to do in the end. He knew that she could be angry with him but he also knew that he had to face the mess that he had left behind.

_Meanwhile_

"Milk… Cereal… Bread… Carrots… Chicken… Pasta… Cookies…" She said quietly aloud as she checked off the grocery list she had scribbled in her car at the school parking lot, as she wondered if she had left anything out. She was trying to do anything to get her mind off the fact that she had just dropped Liam off for this first day of school. He just seemed too young to already be starting school, it really seemed like only yesterday that she was bringing him home.

"_It's just the two of us little guy." She said, cradling the newborn in her arms. Although she never had the intention of having an abortion, each day that passed that she spent pregnant, the more she had begun to question her readiness. She had been so young when she had become pregnant and it's not like she had an ample amount of free time and she was terrified that she would make a terrible mother. Willow had tried her hardest to reassure her, to tell her that she had done a great job with Dawn and although she knew Dawn was an exceptional young girl, she didn't do it all by herself. 'You won't be alone in this,' Willow had said, as though reading her mind. _

_Once the child was born however and she took him in his arms, she felt her heart burst with a love that she never knew existed. Her heart felt full and for the first time she realized what it meant by the mother and child bond. Although she had been close to her own mother, had loved her own mother, she was often skeptical of the claims that at birth a mother's heart is filled with love for their child and now, here she was sitting in her hospital bed, holding her son and feeling a love for this child that she never knew she was capable of. _

Her phone began to ring and with the gentle tap on the shoulder by another customer, she was pulled out of her thoughts and back into the present. She smiled briefly at the woman, a silent thank you before she pulled the small cell phone out from her purse and pressed the answer button.

"Hello?" She asked, realizing that she had failed to look at the screen before answering the call.

"Buffy. It's Xander." The familiar male voice filled her ear and she smiled for a moment, grateful he had called as she had forgotten to call to ask him if he could come over sooner as Liam had been looking forward to spending time with him. "I just wanted to see how you were. Little man started school today so I thought maybe you might be a bit of a wreck leaving him alone with someone you barely know."

"You know me too well Xander… Too well. I'm just running errands, trying to get my mind off of it. I had been meaning to call you but I completely forgot. Liam was hoping that you could come over and spend time with him when you get off of work. I know how tired you probably are but he was so excited this morning." She said into the phone as she made her way to the check out.

"Sure, I want to hear all about the little rascals first day. I actually don't need to be at the job site today so I'll pick the little one up from school if you don't have any objection to that. I know how much you'll probably be missing him in a few hours but one of the great joys of parenthood, or so I've heard my own parents say, is the day that your children finally start school and are out of your hair."

"You really must have terrorized your parents."

"Yea well, you know me. Anyways, like I said I'd be more than happy to pick the champ up."

"You know what. I think he'd like that. I'll see you guys at the house later on. Have fun!" She replied before they said their goodbyes and she hung up and began to unload the contents in her cart onto the conveyer belt. It was probably going to be a long day.

**Authors Note (Brighteyes)**

**Okay, so we just wanted to thank you for all the positive responses that we have been getting for the story. I'm really excited about this one and I hope you are too! For those who didn't know, I finally put up the first chapter of the NEW sequel to Realize I'm Yours, called Be Your Love, I'm hoping that this time around I'm able to do it justice as the last one was a little choppy and it moved way too fast! I'm working on the next chapter of Asking For Trouble as well and I'm hoping to get that posted either by today or tomorrow... Kind of depends on how my job hunt goes as now that I'm back home it's time to look for a summer job! Anyways, please continue to let us know what you think of the story! Thank you for reading!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

She drove down the quiet street with one hand on the wheel of her Mercedes and the other clutching her iced coffee, the trunk and back seat had been filled with bags of groceries to the point where she was slightly nervous about opening the door, imagining only the bags tumbling out and its contents scattered along the driveway. She loved her car and although she told everyone she knew she bought it solely because of its safety rating and decent gas mileage, part of the purchase had been vain, she liked the way she felt when she drove it, how good it made her feel.

As she pulled into her driveway, her heart seemed to race suddenly as a familiar feeling overcame her. She sat there, the car now in park as she tried to melt into the seat, telling herself that it was just her mind playing tricks on her. About once a year this feeling came over her, usually on the anniversary of his departure, but it was never anything more than her own wishful thinking. The past five years had been hard on her, raising a child on her own, well not entirely on her own, she had wonderful friends who now constituted her family who were always there when she needed them but things could have been much easier had he been around.

It was now, five years later, that she was beginning to move forward in her life. She had finally accepted that he was never coming back, and if he did, she wasn't sure she would be able to forgive him for what he had done. Though she understood why he left, they had spent a few nights discussing his feelings before he left, part of her thought that he either wouldn't do it or he would have at least kept in contact somehow, let her know that he was okay, that he was getting on okay. Five years and not a single word, it was more than she could bear and she had spent so many nights in tears, wondering if she had not been enough to keep him around. It was a thought that she had never really allowed herself to think in the past but with the hormones running rampant through her body, especially when she was pregnant, she was extremely emotional and hard on herself.

She opened the door slowly, a mixture of emotions rushing through her body, wondering if this was not the false signal that she had always been use to, all the while contemplating how she would react if she found him in her kitchen. After pulling a few bags out from the back seat, she walked to the front door and found it still locked but that did nothing to steady the rapid beating of her heart. 'Maybe it's just Giles,' she repeated over and over, he often liked to stop by and see how she and Liam were doing, although he always called before hand and she couldn't recollect getting a call from him recently.

As she opened the door, her eyes quickly took in the scene and although there was no one there, she thought that she could smell his faint scent in the air, as though he had only been there a few moments ago. It took everything in her power not to drop the bags on the ground and run throughout the house in search of the scent. Instead, she continued to unload the groceries from her car, chalking up the scent to memory, her innermost desire for him to resurface and return to them. However, her nerves were shaken and she couldn't help be feel slightly disappointed that he wasn't there, a thought that she was surprised she felt as she had spent the past two years more angry with him than wishing he would return. It was just another blatant sign that she was still not over him, that she would probably never be over him, even though he had hurt her more than anyone else ever had.

As she thought about her anger towards him, she thought about all the places that it stemmed from. When she had first found out she was pregnant, she felt vulnerable. More so than she had in a very long time. The last time she had been that scared, was probably her 18th birthday, when the Watcher's Council had taken away her powers and put her through that awful test. She knew that once the child was born, she would be able to protect it, but what about in the womb? She didn't know how far she could push herself without hurting the baby. And she couldn't exactly get a proper answer from her doctor either. He had told her she could still go about her normal activities, but obviously, the man had no clue what "normal" was to her.

She had managed though, with the help of her family. She couldn't help but wonder though, if that time in her life would have been easier if he had been there. Morning sickness had plagued her all day, every day for the first four months. She had practically lived off canned tuna, crackers and ramen noodles, because those were the only things her stomach would allow to stay down. She remembered the anxiety she had, feeling as if she wasn't properly nourishing her growing baby. Would he have helped ease any of her worries?

Often times when Xander was over, she would find herself watching him as he played with Liam and wonder if Angel would have been just as great with him. It was always a painful sight to watch, even know. Although she was grateful for everything that Xander had done for her, for the two of them, she always wished that it had been Angel who she was watching. However, Angel was never one to be upfront about his feelings, although he had shown her how much he loved her, often times the simple words were left unspoken. She understood the need for her son to be told how much he was loved, but she wondered if Angel would have been able to provide that for him, if he could have reassured him that he was more than just a month long passion. She knew better, she knew that he loved her; she could feel it in her soul every time she thought of him or heard his name muttered angrily by Xander.

She shook her head and set the last of the groceries on the kitchen counter. None of this really mattered anyway, because he wasn't even there. There really was no point in dredging up such painful feelings when she couldn't  
really do anything about them. She filed them away in her mind, and continued to put away her groceries. It was then that she noticed the rug by the back door was pushed away from it just a bit, as if someone had been through there recently. She knew it hadn't been that way this morning when she left, she remembered straightening it.

Just as she had managed to calm down, her heart started racing all over again. Liam was now five and she knew that there were people who were suspicious of who his father was. It was one of the reasons that even Giles had insisted that since Angel was not around, it was important to make people believe that he wasn't the father. Angel had enemies, it wasn't something that they all didn't know already, and it terrified them all that if those people had found out about Liam, that they would try and take him away from Buffy, to use him as bait against Angel. For appearances sake, Xander had agreed to act as the boy's father, a role that Xander took extremely seriously, it was something she knew she would never be able to thank him enough for.

Dropping the box that she had in her hand, she slowly started walking to the door. It was shut tightly but unlocked. She could have sworn that it had been locked when she left the house to bring Liam to school but she couldn't be sure. It was a fault that she chided herself for, she had usually been more responsible than that but she had allowed her mind to be clouded by the events of the day and the memories that were flooding back to her at a pace that she was unable to sort through. She abruptly turned around, her eyes resting on the stairs, if anyone was still in the house she knew that they weren't on the first floor. Walking up the stairs all the possible suspects flashed through her mind but as soon as she made it to the landing, she noted the quietness of the floor. Everything had been exactly as it had been left, not a single paper was out of place. Then as she walked into her bedroom it was there that she noticed that the window was now open. She had been certain that it was closed; the air conditioner was on as the California heat was in full swing and she hated a hot house.

She closed the window, all the while keeping her eyes on the street, looking to see if she saw anything or anyone who was suspicious. Alas, after standing there for a good five minutes, there was nothing to see, no person walking down the street, just a few cars as they drove by. She backed up to the bed and fell down on it before closing her eyes. She would have to get in touch with Giles and let him know what was happening, maybe he would have something insightful to tell her, but first she would have to finish unpacking the groceries before some of the items spoiled.

Pulling herself up off the bed, she glanced to the bedside table. There lay her diary that had blatantly been tampered with. The little book was open and although she tried to write in it as often as she could, it had been a few months since she had sat down and scribbled anything in the remaining blank pages. As she walked over to the table, she let her fingers trail along the top of the duvet, touching it to feel any remaining warmth that would have existed had the perpetrator only escaped before she had left. It wasn't until she reached the pillows that she was able to detect a faint warm spot along with a slight rumple in the pillow.

As she sat down she pulled the pillow up to her face. It was at that moment that she knew who had been in her house, she had known all along and the scent on the pillow only reiterated that original instinct. The spiciness of his scent filled her lungs and she struggled to hold back the tears that were forming in the corners of her eyes. Why was it that after five years, after she had finally gotten her life back on track that he was coming back into her life? She had finally gained a stability in her life that had been nonexistent and now her he was, about to send that stability into a whirlwind of chaos. How could she protect Liam from the person she knew had a right to know about the boy? She couldn't let him hurt him the way he had hurt her, she needed to know that if he was going to stick around, that he planned on doing it for good. She couldn't put her son through the same pain that had become her constant companion for the past thirteen years.

As she took the diary into her hands she noticed that page that it had been open to, and read the entry.

_A left today. I wish that it was more of a surprise to be but deep down I think I always knew it was coming. I just wish that I had the chance to tell him that I am a little over two months along on this whole pregnancy thing. I'm not sure if I can do this alone either or how I'm going to get through it now. I don't regret the act, I regret allowing my desire, my happiness to cloud my judgment. When he showed up at my door that day, alive, I figured that it was finally going to be different between us, that we could finally try and make a normal relationship work, but even I should have known better, I should have seen how broken he was. Even I couldn't fix that… _

She couldn't continue, she didn't want to continue. Part of her was angry that he had read it, she remembered the day that she thought he had read it back when they had only begun their acquaintance, telling him that it was sacred and yet, he had betrayed her by opening it and reading her most private and innermost thoughts. If he had to talk to her why couldn't he have just come and asked her whatever it was he wanted to know? Why was he sneaking around? Did he really think that he could get away with it? That she wouldn't notice? The anger seemed to subside, being angry didn't get anyone anywhere. He'd show up eventually, and when he did, she knew she would have to put her son before her own desires and make sure that he was protected.

**Authors Note (Brighteyes)**

**Hey guys! Sorry for the late update but things have been really busy for me and it's made it hard to get writing done on my part which makes it hard for Lanie. Anyways I hope that you enjoyed the new chapter, things are going to heat up soon. Thank you again for all the positive feedback that we have been getting on the story! It's much appreciated! So please continue to read and send those reviews our way!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

_Liam is three today. I can't believe three years have come and gone and I have this wonderful little boy to show of it. I can't help but still feel a pang in my chest as my eyes meet his own. Every day that passes the resemblance of his father seems to become stronger and stronger, even his temper is reminiscent of A's. It's harder than I had imagined, I mean, I knew that it would be hard, I knew that it would be difficult to have his child but I never thought that he would look so much like him. _

_I don't even know where he is. What he's doing, if he's alive. It's been over three years since he left. I guess I thought that he would at least keep in touch, let me know he was okay. I wonder if he would have come back if he had learned about the child…_

As he read the page, he could feel the guilt bubbling up inside of him. How could he have done this to her? How could he have left her to raise their son on her own? He had been so selfish, not thinking that his actions were hurting anyone else and all this while, his son was growing up without a father. He loved her so much that it hurt, and he missed a crucial time in their relationship. He began to imagine what she must have looked like, her petite body as the months passed and the child grew within her. She must have been terrified, and he knew that only he could have helped her get through it. His fingers touched the edge of the book, flipping backwards a few more pages.

_Liam took his first steps. He walked for a few inches before falling but immediately stood back up and tried again. He has so much fight and determination; I guess he might get that from me a little. It's amazing though, looking at this perfectly innocent person who has yet to be messed up by the real world. I hate that one day life won't be as simple for him as it is, I wish that I could change that for him, I wish that I could keep him protected and safe for forever but I know that's not realistic. _

_Today marked another critical day in his son's life that A wasn't there for. I wonder what he's doing right now…_

The more he read the angrier with himself he seemed to get. All these years, all these years that he could have been around for his son and he was gone, traveling, trying to find himself. It had never occurred to him that everything he ever needed was right in front of him and it all seemed so obvious now. Had he stayed he knew that being a father to Buffy's child, that in being with her, he would have been more fulfilled than he had been in his entire life. He realized that nothing, not even defeating the evil that he had for so many years, was as rewarding as child rearing. And now, he was a stranger to his child. As he found a new page, he glanced down, looking at the familiar handwriting.

_Liam Rupert O'Conner Summers was born today. 8 pounds, 5 ounces and 20 inches long. The doctor says that he is healthy so all that time I spent worrying about if I was caring for him properly was in vain. I'm still amazed that something that big came out of me. I never thought that my heart would be so full, but as soon as they put him in my arms, I realized that I would never love anything or anyone as much as I love him. But I'm exhausted now… It was an emotional day. As soon as my water broke, all I could think about was how much I wish A had been there. When he said he had to find himself, I thought he would be gone for a few months max, not the 6 that it's been now. _

_Although A's name is on the birth certificate, Xander is going to be the father. Giles was right, A has too many enemies and if anyone finds out… Well, I don't think that I could bear that…_

Xander… He always bugged him, it was probably his helpless devotion to the girl that he himself was always in love with. He wasn't blind to the way that Xander looked at her, it was the same way that he found himself looking at her. That amazed by everything she does, isn't she perfect and beautiful and wonderful, she makes my jaw drop kind of look. Oh, he knew it well. And it was the kid who was raising his son. Xander was there holding her hand at the hospital as she gave birth to Liam, Xander was the one who watched the kid take his first steps, Xander had been there when he wasn't. He knew he should have stopped but he couldn't and a few moments later his gaze was downward again, as his fingers thumbed back a few more pages.

_The morning sickness is more like all day sickness. I can't seem to keep anything down but crackers, tuna and ramen noodles. I'm terrified that the baby isn't going to develop properly, I mean is it possible for a tiny mini me to grow on only those three foods? I wish he was here, I wish that he could hold me when I sleep… I've been crying a lot, stupid hormones. All I want his A to be here, to reassure me that I can do this, to help me when I'm out on patrol at night. My work is suffering, I'm afraid that with every kick, with every punch I'm going to miscarry. I just need him, I need him to tell me that it's going to be okay, that I can do this…_

He felt the tears pool in the corners of his eyes as he did all he could to stop them. When she needed him the most he failed to be there for her. She needed him and he wasn't there and he wasn't sure he could ever forgive himself for that. He had prided himself on his ability to protect her, he had almost made it his life's mission and yet, when she needed him the most, when she needed reassurance, he wasn't even in touch with her, he wasn't even thinking of her, he had only been thinking of his own plight in life. How could she ever forgive him? Had he been her he knew that forgiveness would be impossible.

Before he had the chance to read the next page that he had turned the diary to, he heard a car pull into the driveway. He put the diary back on the bedside table, not bothering to even pretend like he hadn't been there, her instincts were surely strong enough to alert her to his having been there. As he surveyed the room he realized that his only option of getting out of the house undetected was to go through the window. In the past he had plenty of experience entering and exiting her room via her window however, he was older now, and he wondered if he could still do it. As he watched her enter the house, he opened the window, putting his legs on the sill as he reached for the tree in front of him. After hanging there, contemplating his next move, he pulled his legs onto the branch and slid down to the trunk before jumping down, landing perfectly on his feet before he took off down the street. His mind too cluttered to speak to her about his discovery.

He hurried across the street and got into his car. He watched her for just a moment, as she unloaded the groceries from the car and into the house. He wondered what would happen if he went over there and offered to help her with the bags. He knew that now wasn't the time, he would need a while to process all he had just learned. Going to her now, would surely result in too much anger on both of their parts. He knew she would be angry with him, and he was starting to feel a bit of anger rising in his chest. Anger with her and with himself. Actually, he wanted to be angry with her, but he really couldn't. He wanted to wonder if she had even attempted to find him and tell him about  
their son? But he was most angry with himself, because he really hadn't the right to those questions. He had, after all, left her.

The ignition buzzed as he inserted the key and the engine hummed quietly when he turned it on. As he put the car in drive, his mind was reeling. He had a son, with Buffy. The one thing he had thought would never happen, had. As he rounded the corner and drove down the street he noticed a playground full of children. The elementary school. So lost in his thoughts, he hadn't even really thought about the route he was taking, and now here he was, in front of the school. He pulled the car up to the curb and observed the children playing. It didn't take him long to spot the boy, his son, Liam. He was bounding up the jungle gym and waiting in line for the slide. And not very patiently. The boy was constantly fidgeting, bouncing up and down a little with every step. The sheer joy and Liam's face as it was finally his turn to slide made Angel smile. It was a wonder to him how innocent he was that something like a trip down a slide could mean so much.

He felt a strong pull to get out of the car and sit on a bench and watch, maybe even at some point approach Liam and talk with him. It was after the fact that he realized how crazy that idea was, they would surely think he was some pedophile who enjoyed watching the young children play. He was just so fascinated by the boy, amazed that something could look so much like the two of them. He had imagined a few times what it would have been like if he and Buffy had conceived but it never having been an option for the two of them, he never allowed himself to really dwell on it. He had thought about what they might name it, what it might look like, but mainly he spent his fantasy thinking about how she would look during the pregnancy. How she would probably have that motherly glow on her cheeks, how every day when he first would get home he would take her in his arms, kiss her and then kneel down, placing his hands on her belly, greet their growing child before kissing it; he thought about the cravings she would have and how every night she would send him out on some mission to get a strange combination of foods from the grocery store but when he finally returned she would either not want them anymore or be craving something else completely.

As he turned the ignition off, he rolled down the window and listened to the sounds coming from the playground. His hearing was still quite good, and he tried hard to differentiate the voices of the children and listen only to his son hoping to get some kind of insight as to his life. It was impossible though, there were too many children with little, big, voices and as much as he had hoped that his fatherly instinct would kick in and he would know his child's voice in any crowd, the effort was in vain. He sighed and twisted the key in the ignition once more, letting the engine purr a little and warm back up.

Just as he was about to put the car into gear and drive back to his hotel, a small soccer ball hit the side of his car. His first instinct was to shout, his car was his most prized possession but then he looked and realized that they were only children and it was impossible that the ball had done any damage to the vehicle. His eyes glanced to the field where his son was now running, at a rather remarkable pace for such a young child, towards him, coming to fetch the ball, as a group looked towards him. It would be his chance to talk to the boy, even if only for a moment.

He stepped out of the car and walked to the other side, taking the ball in his hands as the boy stopped a few feet away from him. He wondered if Liam could see the resemblance, if Buffy had told him about him. If she had, he doubted that she described his appearance, as Liam seemed only to look at him with abject curiosity, probably wondering why a man his age was parked out front of the school park instead of at work.

"I think you might be looking for this?" Angel spoke finally, realizing the tenderness in his voice and wondering where that had come from. It had been a long while since he had been so soft, the events over the past five years hardening him quite severely. He walked closer to his son and handed him the ball, watching as Liam's tiny hands clasped around it afraid that it would roll away again.

"Thanks mister." Liam responded, about to turn back around to join his classmates but some strong pull kept him there. "My dad drives a car like yours, that's what my mom says anyways. She showed me a picture once. He's a superhero and gone helping people all the time which is why I haven't met him. Are you a superhero too?"

"I wish I could say I was but I've been anything but a superhero the past few years. Your dad sounds like an amazing guy, one day I'm sure you'll meet him. But, it looks like your friends are waiting for you; you should go back and play." Angel responded as he turned his back to the boy an walked to the other side of the car, and drove away as he watched his son run back to the field with the ball clutched firmly between his hands.

So, Buffy had told the boy about him. Although, he hadn't ever thought she would describe him as a superhero. As he thought about it, he realized that it was because it was the only way to describe his disappearance, he didn't for one minute think that she really did see him in that light, that he was worthy of such a title, mainly because he didn't believe that he was worthy, that anyone could ever look at him after all the things that he had done over his long life and call him that. As he drove away he could only think about how disappointed Liam would be when they finally would meet, as father and son. He didn't, not even for one moment, think that the boy would just be happy to finally have his father in his life.

**Author's Note (Brighteyes)**

**Hey guys! Hope you liked the new chapter! We just wanted to continue to thank you all for all the positive feedback we are receiving for the story! We are so pleased that you like it! Please keep up the reading and let us know exactly what you think of the story! Thanks again!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"MOM! We're home!" Buffy heard as her son as he bounded through the front door and into the kitchen where she was placing three dishes on the kitchen table. She felt a smile play on her lips, all day she had been worried about him, and then she found herself in the midst of an emotional break down when she realized that Angel was back, that now she was just happy to have him home. Now, the only thing going through her mind would be how she would tell Angel she wasn't sure she wanted him around, she wasn't sure she could put Liam through the pain that was almost inevitable when it came to Angel. She had spent five years creating a stable environment for Liam and now all she could think about was how Angel would turn that completely upside down. She was afraid that once Liam and Angel had bonded, that he would leave again, and she would have to pick up the pieces of, not only just herself but also her devastated son.

"Hey sweetheart! How was your day?" She asked as she bent down and wrapped her arms around the boy. His uniform was now dirty and she glanced up at Xander, who was now standing in the doorway watching the exchange between the mother and son, and shot him a dirty look. He laughed, knowing full well that he should have made the boy change his clothes, but couldn't have been bothered to take the time to do so. Now that meant she would have more laundry to do, and the dirt on his white shirt looked like it might take a good soak to get that stain out.

"It was so much fun!" He replied as they pulled away and he looked briefly to the table and then back at his mother. "What's for dinner?"

"That kid is a saint if he eats your cooking." Xander interjected, picking the boy up and carrying him to the sink so he could wash his hands before sitting at the table.

"Yea well, I've trained him well." She responded. "Besides, you of all people know I don't cook. I get delivery." She walked to the oven, pulled out the large pizza box, and placed it on the table, watching as Xander placed Liam back on the ground so he could run to the table. Before she had the chance to tell him to dry his hands she watched as he sat down and started to help himself to the still hot pizza.

"How was your day?" Xander asked as they both stood by the sink watching Liam as he devoured the pizza slice.

For a moment, she thought that maybe Xander could tell, could sense that Angel was around. Or that maybe he might have seen him around town, and was wondering if he should tell her. Her mind was a jumble of emotions and thoughts and she had no clue as to how to sort them out, what she felt safe telling others. She struggled to tell him as he stood there watching her, she knew how he would react to the news. Xander had never liked Angel, and now that he had deserted her when they actually had the chance to be together, she knew he hated him even more. In so many ways she didn't blame him, she thought that things would have been different as well and yet, they were back in the same place they had been when she graduated high school. But it wasn't just that, there was more at stake this time, There was a child that Xander had bonded with, a child that he had helped her to raise, a child that Xander considered his son. Sure, he wasn't Liam's biological father, but the two had bonded like that of a father and son and if he knew that Angel was back, it would be devastating for him.

"It was fine. Just another day to get through really. I guess I was hoping that he wouldn't have had such a great day though, I want to keep him home but I know I can't do that forever. It amazes me that he has an excitement for school, I know I never liked it." She paused for a moment, her eyes falling upon her son. "I did get word of a rising tonight so I will have to pop over to the cemetery but I won't be out late," she continued as she glanced out the window and noticed that the sun was beginning to set. She walked over towards the chair that Liam was sitting in and ruffled his hair. "That means I should probably pack my things up and get going. You better be in bed when I get back home mister. You've got school again in the morning."

"I will be mom." He replied as she kissed his head and walked up the stairs to grab her things.

_A Little While Later_

"Why does this always seem to take forever? Don't you realize that I have better things to do with my time?" She said aloud. She had been leaning against a tombstone as she waited for the vampire to rise, one hand tapping impatiently on the marble and the other playing with the stake in her hand. Although she had only been there for twenty minutes, she was impatient, hoping to get this done sooner, rather than later so she could return back to her house and tuck her son in. That, and she was a little wary about running into Angel, she had no idea if he would be following her, or there to help her out.

Although she hated for it to happen, she began to daydream, well rather, fall into her own memories. Her surroundings seemed to disappear, leaving her at risk, yet she couldn't help it, she couldn't keep the memories of the past from resurfacing. Being there, in that cemetery, seemed only to remind her of all the time that she had spent with him back when Sunnydale had been an actual town, not the crater that it now is.

"_I still have to go home and fill out my egg diary." She said, looking up at him, feeling his arms wrapped tightly around her._

"_Your what?"_

"_Oh, I told you, that faux parenting gig we're doing at school. Like I'm really planning to have kids anytime soon. Uh, maybe someday, in the future, when I'm done having a life, but… Right now, kids would be just a little too much to deal with." _

"_I wouldn't know. I don't… Well, you know, I, I can't." He responded._

"_Oh. That's okay, um… I, I figured there were all sorts of things vampires couldn't do. You know, like work for the Telephone Company, or volunteer for the Red Cross, or… Have little vampires." She responded. _

"_So you don't think about the future?" He asked._

"_No."_

"_Never?" _

"_No."_

"_You really don't care what happens a year from now? Five years from now?" He questioned._

"_Angel, when I look into the future, all… all I see is you! All I want is you." She wanted to make him understand, to show him that he was all she cared about._

"_I know the feeling."_

She jumped as she heard the sound of branches cracking under footsteps. However, as she turned to see what was going on around her, she could find nothing. Jumping off the tombstone that she was sitting on and began to inspect her surroundings while chiding herself for not paying better attention. She realized how bad it would be if she were to let the vampire get away, especially as she had a prior knowledge to the event. As she was walking around she noticed that the grave that she was suppose to be watching was no longer occupied, which almost made her curse aloud, Giles had warned her about this type of thing, had warned her that if her head wasn't in it then she couldn't do the job that needed to be done.

"Slayer… A little slow this evening?" A voice bellowed from the darkness behind her. She didn't want to make any sudden movements, afraid that if she did she would give them reason to believe that she was afraid, or at least caught off guard.

Gripping the stake in her hand a little tighter, she turned around in one swift turn, her eyes meeting those of the newly raised vampire who now stood only a few feet away from her. He was larger than she had expected, but still she could tell that he wasn't as strong as he could have been. Lucky for her, she was still quick on her feet and before he could advance on her she ran and kicked him down to the ground.

"Not one bit, just checking to make sure that you get a little bit of a fight before I stake you. Then again, you did keep me waiting for a while, might as well just take care of it now. I wouldn't want to delay the inevitable." She was on top of him now, as she lifted the stake slightly before plunging it down into his heart, watching as a few moments later, the was covered in his dust.

Standing up, she brushed the remains off of her clothes and looked around. It was a quiet night, usually that meant trouble but she moved to the small suburb on purpose, she had a child to raise, which meant she couldn't be any place too active. You can't raise a kid in an environment like that, and since new slayers had been activated, she was able to take a sort of early retirement. Mainly her job required her to train the occasional slayer that would show up on her door step, visit the school that Giles was heading up in Scotland a few times a year, and the occasional patrol through the local cemeteries when she caught wind that something was happening.

"Are you okay?" She heard his familiar voice cut through the silence. Startled, she scanned her surroundings, but she couldn't find him, his tall stature not apparent amongst the tombstones. For a moment she thought that it was all in her mind, she had only a few moments ago been thinking about him, hearing his voice in her own head, maybe this was the same thing, maybe the voice was only her own imagination.

Though she hated to admit it, since she realized that he was around, she wanted to see him, she wanted to feel his arms around her, she wanted to kiss him and fall asleep with him. She knew she should be angry with him but she couldn't, she never could stay angry with him, even though she knew that she had more than enough reasons to be.

"Angel?" She finally spoke, not knowing if she was really speaking to anyone or if the voice truly had just been a figment of her own imagination.

"Are you okay?" His voice spoke again, this time it seemed nearer to her. Her senses were all out of whack, he had a terrible habit of doing this to her.

"If you're there, stop messing with me! Haven't you messed with me enough? Haven't you caused me enough pain? Why can't you just show yourself?" She was frustrated, unable to tell the difference between reality and illusion. Although she voice sounded so much like his, she began to realize that maybe it was just some terrible joke that was being played on her. Unfortunately, she had thought of that too late.

It was moments later that she felt someone move behind her. As she turned to look, she feel back as a cold, hard fist met with her face. Struggling to get up, she kicked her attackers legs, watching as he tumbled onto his rear. That little accomplishment was brief however, because just as she drove the stake into her first attackers chest, two more were ready to take her.

"Buffy! Watch out!" There it was, that was the voice, the real voice, the one she had missed for so long. It was that voice that gave her the motivation to get up and keep fighting. He always had a strange power over her. And now he was back. Everything was going to change. First, she just needed to get through this little battle she had so terribly set herself up for.

**Authors Note (Brighteyes)**

**Hey guys! I know it's been a while but I've just gotten a job which means I'm stuck in a law office for a whole afternoon, and I'm usually beat by the time I get back home. So, I knew I probably wouldn't have time this weekend to do any writing as there is sooo much going on (although I do plan to try!) so I thought I would try and bust out a new chapter... I've been working for a few days on it and although it's not exactly where I want it to be, I still thought it was important to post it! You've all been waiting sooo patiently and it's been a week now! I hope that you like it! Please continue to read and review! We appreciate it so much! **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"Are you okay?" He asked as she stood up, brushing off the last bits of dust from her clothes. In her mind she was angry with herself for not changing her clothes before heading out to the cemetery earlier that night, had she known she would have been ambushed by a gang, there was no way she ever would have gone out clad in her Marc Jacobs pull over, not when you spend that much money on it. It was a stupid move on her part but she had no idea that she would have come across that many vampires, at least, that many who knew she was around and out hunting. It was suppose to be a simple, easy night, stake the guy as he came up from the grave before he could gain his footing, and then pack her things back up and head home, that way she could be there when Liam went to bed, maybe hear a little about his first day. Shame on her for not being more prepared but she really hadn't been in the game in such a long time; she almost forgot how taxing it was on the body to fight that many at one time. And, although she hated to admit it, Angel showing up happened to be a life saver for her, she wasn't sure she could have gotten though it without him, not with an ambush like that. Yet, as grateful as she was for his help, she was still furious with him; furious for showing up, for creating the distraction that could have gotten her killed, for still being able to rattle her the way he did, the way that he does. She looked at the pull over, noticing that there was a small dirt stain on the front of it.

"Wonderful…" She muttered angrily as she did her best to rub the stain out but it didn't seem to help the situation any, instead the stain only seemed to grow. She knew better of course, but the pressure of the situation seemed to cause her to forget critical clothing care information that was usually imprinted into her memory. All that she could think about was that after five years, there he was, standing right in front of her asking if she was okay. Well no, she wasn't okay; she was hurt, angry, furious, scared and yet at the same time she was happy, thrilled he was back in her own small way, and still so much in love with him that it hurt to be that close to him.

"Buffy, are you hurt?" He questioned, his voice lower and softer this time as his fingers touched the pullover, grazing her arm through the very large hole that had managed to appear. How had she failed to notice that? Now, all she could think about was the feel of his warm fingertips against her bare skin, the chills that seemed to start at the base of her neck and travel throughout her body, the way her breathing seemed to slow as she was filled with the anticipation of what he might do next, where he might touch her, if he might kiss her.

"You're bleeding, let me see." He moved closer to her as he pulled his fingers from the hole and inspected the warm, crimson liquid that was glistening on his fingertips as the light from the moon hit them. She couldn't move, she just kept her eyes on the ground, afraid that her emotions would get the better of her when her eyes finally met his. She had to contain herself, she had to get it together and hurt him, hurt him the way that he had hurt her. And yet, she couldn't, she couldn't find the fight within her to yell at him, to shout about what a shit he had been to her, to tell him that she never wanted to see him again, that she didn't love him anymore. Her heart was too full, her mind too confused, and she knew that anything she would have said to him would have been a lie, and although she could try to lie to him, there was no denying the truth, that even after all these years, after everything that they had been through, she was still crazy about him.

"Does that hurt?" He asked, opening the hole a little more, and touching the skin around the cut. She winced slightly, and took a sharp breath as she felt the sharp sting caused from the cut for the first time since he had pointed it out to her. "I'll take that as a yes." With his other hand, he touched her chin, lifting her gaze upwards so she would look at him. His heart was aching as he had never felt it before, sad that she couldn't look at him, knowing how disappointed she was in him. "Are you even going to talk to me? Or are you just going to stand there, ignoring me?" As their eyes met, he couldn't help but notice the glaze that seemed to cover the usual brightness of her hypnotizing emerald eyes.

"What do you want me to say Angel?" She was surprised by the harshness in her voice, it hadn't meant to come out that way but his questioning, his pushing her, seemed to wear on her nerves. She didn't need to be pushed, she needed time, time to wrap her mind around what was happening, time to see if he was really going to stick around or if he was just passing through to create a tunnel of destruction and leave her to pick up the pieces.

"I just want you to talk to me. To look me in the eyes and tell me what you are thinking." He was raking his fingers through his hair now; his telltale sign of frustration.

"What am I thinking? What do you think I'm thinking Angel? How dare you come here, how dare you come back after five years and just assume that I'm going to fall down and worship you! I can't pretend that those five years didn't happen, I can't go back and act like everything is okay because it's not!" She could feel the tears forming in her eyes, she was trying so hard to be strong, not only for herself but for her son also yet one look from him, a few questions and she was a complete mess. "I finally had things on track. I finally had a stable life and things were smooth, it gets lonely but it doesn't matter because it's stable and now, well now I can't even protect myself. I sense that you are around and all I can think about is how angry I am at you but how much I love you. You can't build a relationship with someone who disappears and doesn't even bother to try and contact you, doesn't even care enough to let you know that they are alive, doesn't care that you carried their child for nine months all the while wishing that you would show up and make things better. Is this what you want to hear Angel? Are you happy now?"

"You think that makes me happy? You think I want to hurt you? I've never wanted to hurt you, and knowing that I have, how do you think that makes me feel? I was just…" His voice trailed, he wasn't sure how he was going to explain himself, how he could try and justify his leaving, how he could win her back and show her that the whole time he was gone he realized that she was all he ever needed.

"You were just what Angel? Selfish? Thinking of only yourself? It seems you do that a lot, you never seem to think about how your actions affect me!" She was yelling at him now, the tears falling freely now, she hadn't the time to bother to brush them away. "It's not like this is the first time that you've up and left me Angel, it's not the first time that you've left a path of destruction for me to pick up. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you and I hate it. I hate that I can't get over you, I hate that you can do this to me. I want so badly to hate you."

"You don't mean that…" He whispered, he couldn't look at her anymore, it hurt too much to see her in that amount of pain, pain that he knew he caused. "I'm so sorry Buffy… I did what I thought I had to do at the time. I didn't think it was fair that I was there with you but not really there. You disserved more than a catatonic me, you disserve more than that."

"You're right. I do. I disserve more than what I got, what I get when I'm with you. I to be told that someone is leaving me, I disserve a goodbye. You know what I don't disserve? I don't disserve to wake up one morning in a cold bed, with nothing more than a measly little note saying that you were skipping town." She was sobbing now, five years of pent up aggression, pent up anger and hurt that she seemed to unleash on him. She felt as though a wild animal had taken over her body, she seemed to have no control over the hurtful things that her mouth was spewing, but at the same time, she knew that it was all things he needed to hear, and things that she had to get out because keeping it all in for as long as she had was not healthy, not for her or anyone for that matter. "It doesn't really matter though anymore does it? We're not good for each other Angel. We only end up hurting each other. Maybe we should just leave it at that. At least until we both sort out our anger with each other. This just isn't the right time."

"I don't want to leave it where we are. I can't walk away from this again. I can't walk away from you, not now, not now that I know what I want." His voice was much more assertive this time.

"Maybe it's too late for what you want. Maybe I should focus on what I want now. It seems like when it comes to us, it's always what's best for you. I think it's time I start figuring out what I want." She looked at him briefly, their eyes making contact for the briefest of moments before she bent down and picked her things up off the ground.

"Are you leaving?" He asked, his eyes trying to search out her own but she was doing everything she could to avoid his own gaze.

"Yea, I guess I am. Shouldn't you recognize it when it happens? I mean, after all isn't that what you do best?" He watched as she turned her back on him and started to walk up the path. He tried to think of something clever to say, something that might make her laugh, something that might take all the pain away, even though he knew it was useless, you can't just joke away five years of pain, all that on top of all the pain that he caused her in the past. Their history was tumultuous, even he knew that, but he felt that he had been given a second chance, well, maybe a fifth at this point and he couldn't just let her walk out of his life.

"I know about the boy." He called out, watching as she stopped and turned around to face him. They were about 50 feet away from each other and although the moon was out, he had trouble seeing the expression on her face. He wasn't sure if he should continue, but he figured that he had nothing else to lose. "I saw him today, spoke with him for a moment."

"Leave him alone. Don't drag him into this Angel. He's young, he's been without you his whole life and the last think I need is for you to hurt him like you've hurt me." Before he could respond, he watched as she ran off, leaving him there alone in the cemetery with only his thoughts.

_A little while later..._

She stood on Willow's doorstep pounding on the door. She knew that Will usually went to bed early but she needed to talk to her, she needed to figure out what was happening in her life.

"Will, please open up! I need you." She called, her fist making contact with the wood door. She gave up shortly after, figuring that it was too late, that Will was in a deep sleep and couldn't hear the ruckus that she was making. Leaning her back against the door, she slid down until she was sitting, leaning her head back against the hard surface.

The night was cool for a September night, and she pulled her arms around her body trying to keep warm. Although she wanted to go home, to get into bed with Liam and watch him as he fell asleep, she couldn't go back like this, there would be too many questions that she wasn't ready to give answers to. It was only a matter of moments before she was in the midst of a full-blown bawl. The tears that seemed to fall from the corners of her eyes were fat, and as she wiped them away with her finger tips, the warmness of them, like that of a swimming pool, seemed to warm her cold hands.

She felt the door behind her budge and she leaned forward as Willow opened it and crouched down to her level.

"Buffy? What's wrong? Is everything okay?" She asked. She tried to talk between the sobs but all that seemed to come out were loud wails, and Willow was worried, she had never seen her like this before, never seen her so sad, so lost. "Come on, let's get inside."

"What is it Buffy?" Willow asked again once they were seated on the couch and Buffy had tissues to dry her tears. "What's wrong?"

"It's Angel… Will, he's back and I don't know… It hurts Will. I can't seem to breathe. I feel like everything is changing and I don't know how to protect him, I don't want to see him get hurt like I was."

"Liam?" She asked and watched as he friend nodded, wiping the new tears away with a new, dry tissue. "It will be okay. What did he say? When you saw him? What did he tell you?"

"I didn't really let him talk. I just, lashed out at him, all these years, everything, it just came spewing out and then I left, right before I told him to leave Liam alone. Will, I can't breathe, I feel like I can't breathe. It feels like when he left Sunnydale, and then again when he left five years ago."

"We'll sort it out Buffy. We'll figure something out. I'm going to call Xander, let him know that you are here, that you're going to stay here tonight. You need to sleep on this, weigh your options."

"I need to go home Will. Liam has school tomorrow, I didn't even get to say goodnight to him." She could feel the tears starting to bubble up again but did her best to keep them from reemerging again.

"All right, I'll drive you. But seriously Buff, you can't make any rash decisions, he is, after all, Liam's father and he does have the right to be in his life. We'll figure it out tomorrow, I promise, we have all afternoon." She said, helping her friend up off the couch and towards the car.

**Authors Note (Brighteyes):**

**Hey everyone! I hope you are having a fantastic 4th of July! Great thing about it for me was that I didn't have to go to work today which meant that I had plenty of time to get a new chapter to you all! We want to continue to thank all of you for reading and leaving such positive feedback! It's great and we appreciate it! I hope that you love this chapter! Things are starting to get a little more dramatic! Anyways, please continue to send us your thoughts!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

He couldn't sleep. Instead, he lay there, desperately trying to will himself to sleep but all that he could think about was their fight, or rather, her fight. Every time his eyes seemed to close, all he could see was her, the way she looked at him, how hurt she was, how cruel she was. It wasn't that he could blame her, he knew that everything she had told him was true, that every feeling that she had, she deserved to have, he just didn't think that it would hurt him that much. No, he knew that it would hurt him; he just thought that she would come around to him faster, sooner; he had hoped that instead of laying there in this uncomfortable hotel bed, he would be with her, holding her in his arms as he watched her sleep next to him.

Seeing her again, though, it was only a reminder of how badly he wanted her, how badly he needed her in his life. She had asked him to give up on her but how could he? How could he walk away from her when now he knew that all the while, she had been all he had ever needed? How could she even ask that of him? He knew though, that everything she had said, she had said out of hurt. She still loved him, and she had told him that; it were those words that he would hang his entire hopes on, "_I have never loved anyone as much as I love you…_"

Laying in bed seemed to be useless, the more he tried to fall asleep the more frustrated he became that he couldn't, stop hearing her hurtful words ringing though his brain. "_I hate that I can't get over you, I hate that you can do this to me. I want so badly to hate you._" She hadn't meant it, she couldn't have. He rose from the bed and stretched, although he still did Tai Chi frequently to aid in his strength and flexibility, his older age meant that his body wasn't as it had once been. He stood up, walked to the suitcase that was sitting at the end of the bed, and pulled a long sleeve, cotton shirt over his head. The air had been cool when he had been at the cemetery and now that it was four hours later, he knew that the temperature surely dropped even more.

Locking the door behind him, he ventured out into the night. Walking, he thought, would surely allow him the time to clear his thoughts, make peace with the situation and maybe even find a way to get in Buffy's good graces. The town was quiet as he walked thought the dark streets; every now and then a car would drive past, but for the most part he was all alone, listening only to his breath and his own footsteps. He had thought that since it was a college city and a bustling port, the city would be more alive, but it was a Tuesday, perhaps the students actually were trying to be studious, and maybe the navy sailors had to be up early in the morning. It didn't matter though, he appreciated the solitude.

The night had always agreed with him, it was probably one of the things he had loved most about being a creature of the night. Even now, having been given back his mortal life, the sun sometimes irritated him. Its brightness was unusual, and the first time that he had spent the entire day in it, he had found that his skin had burned, the pain from it lasting over a week. His eyes had never really fully adjusted either, often times when he went out and the sun was shining he found that the only way he could actually not develop a headache was though wearing dark glasses.

He walked down Broadway, passing a few of the local bars where some, probably underage students were tumbling out of. It was two am, the bars were closing and now these kids were left to drive back to their campus, or rented homes. Just what the city needed, drunk drivers. He tried to push that thought out of his mind and instead concentrate on the surroundings. Although he had spent almost three months in San Diego, he hadn't really thought much about it, never really found his footing, never really felt like he belonged there. However, that probably had more to do with his longing to be back in Los Angeles, his longing to see those that he cared about, those that had died helping him fight. Yet now, here he was, walking down along a street that now seemed like home to him, thinking of the time that he had spent with her before he had up and left.

"_How are you feeling?" She asked, her head poking into the room as she looked at him. It had been two weeks and he had barely left the bed, only when he had to eat, use the bathroom, or, with her insistence, shower. He was looking out the window, she had a home in Coronado that was just steps away from the beach, his eyes fixed on the ocean, wishing that he were anywhere but there. _

"_Angel?" She walked in, sitting on the bed next to him, trying to get him to look at her, but he couldn't. He hated her to see him like this, he resented it, resented that he was finally able to be with her but it just didn't seem to be enough. There were so many things weighing on his mind, his guilt over the loss of his friends, over his survival and their death. It all made him feel like a zombie, he might as well have still been what he use to be. _

_He grunted, not finding the energy to speak to her. Though she shared a bed with him each night, he couldn't bring himself to wrap his arms around her, he couldn't find himself to let her love him, he didn't feel worthy of it, he didn't feel like he deserved it. He felt her hand as she stroked his cheek and he closed his eyes, wishing that she could take it all away, that she could take all these feelings that he was bottling up and make them go away, make him happy again. _

"_It will get better Angel… I know what you are going through; things will get better with time." She said softly before leaning down and kissing his cheek softly. He nodded and closed his eyes, at least sleep would provide an escape, provide a world in which he could be with her and they could be happy, where he could be whole. _

He turned down 4th street, heading towards Market. He had no idea where he was going, but that didn't stop him. He thought he heard some noise from behind him and as he glanced over his shoulder, he saw that there wasn't anything there. It must have been his own imagination and he chalked it up to that before continuing his stroll.

_Three weeks had passed since he had shown up at her door, three weeks since he had been alive again, three weeks since everyone that he had cared so deeply about had perished in that fight. He turned to his side and saw her laying there, her breathing was steady, and slow. His heart ached for her, he had spent three weeks trying to deny that she was there, trying to deny that he wanted her more than anything else, thinking that he couldn't have happiness knowing the pain that he had caused, knowing that they were gone. It was like some fucked up twist that the Powers had in store for him, it felt so similar to the cursed life that he had lived before; he had found someone who he loved deeply, his soul-mate and yet, he was unable to have that kind of happiness. Now he had the ability to have his soul mate back in his life, to be with her, and yet, he felt that he couldn't be happy, that he didn't deserve to be happy._

_He gave into his desire though and felt as his body took control, his arm snaking around her petite waist and pulling her close to him. His nose was buried in her hair, smelling the soft lavender scent from her shampoo, and his lips were on her neck, longing to pull her out of the sleep that she was in. He heard her moan softly; not sure if she was awake or sleeping he quietly called out her name, hoping that she would turn around and let his lips touch hers, let his tongue explore the mouth that he hadn't been able to in so many years, let his hands caress the body that had for so long been off limits to him. _

_She turned to face him, his hand moving down her back, under her shirt as her eyes met his. Though it was dark, that look told him everything he needed to know. Without thinking, his body took over, his fingertips touching every inch of her skin that he could, his lips kissing her own, it was only a matter of minutes before he took her, made love to her, his only purpose to please her. It was everything that he had ever remembered, everything that he had always wanted and in that moment he wondered how he ever could have gone that long without her. Yet moments after they had finished, he was no longer blissfully happy even though his beloved was nestled up, sleeping soundly against his chest; he was plagued with guilt, guilt that he was enjoying his life, guilt that he was happy._

Liam. That must have been the night that they had conceived their son. In that moment he realized how much he longed to see the boy again, to sit down and talk with him, learn about him. He knew that he had every right to see him, but he was afraid of Buffy's reaction and knew that he had to get her permission first, the last thing he wanted to do was cause more problems for her than he already had. Fatherhood was something that he had always held dear, though it was something that had always been impossible. Though he already had a son, Connor, he had given him up in order to give him the life that he deserved, it was a difficult decision, one that he struggled with, but one that he knew he had to make. While Connor would always be in his heart, he had to allow the boy to have a normal life, had he been able to give him one, he would have never made the decisions that he had.

He sighed and continued his walk, for a moment he thought seriously about going into one of the late night bars and drinking away his misery, but he refrained and instead turned back to head to the hotel. The walk had not been as therapeutic as he had hoped it would have been. The walk back seemed to take much longer, he got lost momentarily but quickly found his footing, then there was the noise that seemed to follow him, as though someone was walking only a few paces behind him, yet every time he turned to look, there was not a single soul in sight. He shrugged it off to his own paranoia, and twenty minutes later he was back in his hotel room, laying on that bed that had felt so uncomfortable earlier.

As he closed his eyes all he could think about was Buffy and Liam. He wanted to badly to be part of their lives but he was afraid that his choices over the past five years had hurt him, that now she would want nothing to do with him. He didn't blame her, had she done the same thing to him, it would have been beyond painful, and although he was certain they belonged together, he wasn't sure that you could ever get over that kind of pain. All he could do was hope that she could find it in her to forgive him and give them a second chance, or at least give him the chance to be a father to the son he never knew he had.

"_You should have told me what was going on." She said, her eyes meeting his as they stood there at the police station. _

"_I didn't… I didn't think it was your business."_

"_Not my business?"_

"_I needed more time with Faith. I'm not sure…" He said, he knew what was coming, he knew that at any moment she was going to lash out at him, angry for trying to help Faith. She just didn't understand, she couldn't understand, she had never done the types of things that he and Faith and done, they were experiences that she would never be able to understand._

"_You needed… Do you have any idea what it was like for me to see you with her? That you went behind my back…" _

"_Buffy, this wasn't about you! This was about saving somebody's soul. That's what I do here, and you're not a part of it. That was your idea, remember? We stay away from each other._

"_I came here because you were in danger."_

"_I'm in danger every day. You came because of Faith. You were looking for vengeance." He knew he was hitting the hammer on the nail even before he said it but as soon as the words spewed from his lips he saw her body language change, a mixture of hurt and confusion._

"_I have a right to it." She retorted, trying hard to keep her emotions in check however they were starting to get the better of her. _

"_Not in my city." They paused and stood looking at each other, He watched as her eyes changed and he knew that he had to prepare himself for what was coming next, he seemed to sense that she was going to try and hurt him in return._

"_I have someone in my life now. That I love. It's not what you and I had. It's very new." Her voice was soft and yet it was tinged with attitude, everything she was saying, it was only an attempt to get a rise out of him and it was working, he could feel the jealousy as it built up within him. "You know what makes it new? I trust him. I know him."_

"_That's great. It's nice… You moved on. I can't. You found someone new. I'm not allowed to, remember? I see you again, it cuts me up inside and the person I share that with is me! You don't know me anymore, so don't come down here with your great new life and expect me to do things your way. Go home!"_

He shot up out of the bed and looked at his surroundings. It was a memory that he had tried hard to suppress; it was filled with so many things that he never wanted to experience ever again; Buffy moving on, finding love with another man, watching her as she walked away from him, losing his temper with her. It wasn't his proudest moment when it came to their relationship, she just pushed him and it had been such a rough day… But still, why had that come to mind? Why did he chose to dream about that? Was it part of his hidden anger towards Buffy? Anger that he knew he didn't really have the right to feel, he after all had chosen to leave her. Still, seeing her again and not being able to be wit h her, it still felt the same way, it still tore him up inside, although this time he was pretty certain that he wasn't alone in that feeling. Had he been a gambling man, he would have placed a high bet on the fact that she was feeling the same way.

He wiped the beads of sweat from his brown and leaned back against the pillow trying to clear this mind from whatever thoughts were there. He didn't want to dream about that again, he didn't want to relive that again, he just wanted to get through the night and go to her again once the morning hit. He needed to, he needed to show her, to make her understand that this time, he wasn't going anywhere. He closed his eyes once more, this time trying to think about what he wanted to happen, trying to picture the future that he was hoping that they could have.

_He looked around the room, he was unsure as to where he was, it was a place that he had never seen before. The room was dark, only a single light was on and it was coming from the hallway. He thought he was alone in the room, that was until he saw her on the other side, standing up against the wall. She too seemed unsure of where she was, what she was doing there._

"_Buffy?" He whispered, walking closer to her. She acknowledged him and motioned for him to walk to the hall with her. He knew in an instant she wanted him to be quiet, and it was in that moment that he realized that he was in her dream, or maybe she was in his? Either way, he knew that the situation wasn't one that he wanted to be in, that it probably meant that something bad was going to happen._

_As they walked into the hall he saw that the light was coming from another door that was opened slightly. There were voices coming from inside which were muffled at first but as they drew closer to the room they could hear the conversation._

"_The boy is Angel's child. According to the prophecy, this is the boy that will change the world. Although the first child was a miracle, this child is made from the blood of a slayer and a warrior, if we can get him on our side, be that by means of manipulation or however, we will be powerful, the slayer would never kill her own child, nor would he."_

"_What do we do?"_

"_We wait until the timing is right, then we act."_

He shot out of bed again for the second time that night. This time to find that the sun was shining and the clock now read eight am. His heart was racing in his chest as he recalled the details of the dream that he had just experienced. He knew in that moment that he was in one of Buffy's dreams, presumably, the Powers had wanted to warn him, warn him that Liam was in trouble, that they needed to work together to protect him. He needed to speak to Buffy, he needed to understand what was going on, if this had been the first time she had experienced this and if she knew who the men had been.

**Authors Note (Brighteyes):**

**Hey guys! I just wanted to thank you all for all the positive feedback for the last chapter! Thank you all so much! It means a lot to know that you like the story! Please continue to send your reviews our way! Hope you liked the new, longer chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

The stead buzz of the alarm caused Xander to grumble under his breath as he opened his eyes and slammed his hand down on the snooze button. He had never been a morning person and getting up at this hour seemed like being back in high school again. Not exactly a part of his life he wished to return to. A few minutes later the buzz started again, this time louder and as he pulled the blanket over his head, he thought in that moment that he never wanted to leave this guest bedroom, what Buffy referred to as his bedroom with the amount of time that he spent at her house.

Buffy, he had forgotten all about that and what he had witnessed the night before. She had arrived back home late with Willow in tow, though he hadn't spoken with her he could see the puffy redness of her eyes, she had been crying. Only one person ever made her cry like that, it was a cry that he had bore witness to a multitude of times, one that he thought, or rather, one that he hoped he would never see again.

"_Maybe Buffy needed a few minutes to pull herself together. Poor Buffy, on her birthday and everything." Willow said as they gathered around._

"_Hmm, it's sad, granted. But let's look at the upside for a moment. I mean, what kind of a future would she've really had with him? She's got two jobs, Denny's waitress by day, Slayer by night, and Angel's always in front of the TV with a big blood belly and he's dreaming of the glory days when Buffy still thought this whole creature of the night routine was a big turn on." He stated, drifting into his own, personal favorite daydream._

"_You've thought way too much about this." Willow responded eyeing him._

"_No, no. That's just eh beginning. Have I dold you the part where I fly into town in my private jet and take Buffy out for prime rib?"_

"_Xander…"_

"_And she cries?"_

He shook his head and pulled himself out of the bed. He wasn't expecting her to be up, not after the night he had figured she had. No, she was probably still in bed, curled up under the covers, cuter than he could ever have imagined. He thought that his feelings for her had passed but the past five years, well, it allowed him a glimpse into a world that he had only dreamed of when he was in high school, a world in which they were together. Granted, it was all a ploy so that Liam would remain safe, but the longer the charade lasted, the more he began to believe that maybe something more was developing.

Anyways, he had bigger fish to fry at this point. Liam had school and if Buffy wasn't awake, then that left him to getting him ready. He had a snack to pack and a kid to wake up, that meant getting up and getting a move on, even if the warm bed felt better than the cold floor.

When he got to Liam's room, he noticed that the boy was not there and for a moment, he felt a panic rise within him. That was, until he noticed movement from Buffy's room. As he moved closer to the door, he saw the boy jumping on the bed, laughing as he tried to wake his mother up.

_Meanwhile…_

The bed shook, pulling her from the dark hallway that she saw in her dream and back into reality. Liam was jumping on the bed, presumably to wake her up. She knew he would be upset that she hadn't been home to tuck him in. It was their tradition, only when she was away was she not there and it killed her inside that she missed the opportunity the night before, especially as she had wanted to hear all about his first day. She kept her eyes closed, waiting to see how far he would go to wake her up, her hope was that if she could make him laugh that he would forget about her absence the prior night.

"Mom!" His little voice called out as he jumped closer to her body. "WAKE UP!"

"Little man, leave your mom alone. Let her sleep." Xander's voice filled the room and Liam collapsed on the bed next to her.

"But I haven't talked to her in a long time. She didn't come home last night like she said she would and now she won't wake up and I have to go to school in ten minutes!" He whined.

"I'm awake!" She said, rolling over and smothering Liam with a pillow as he laughed and tried to push her away. After a few moments she pulled the pillow away and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry baby. I wanted to come home but something came up. I'll be downstairs in five minutes and I'll take you to school." He smiled and jumped off the bed, running down the stairs to wait for her.

"What happened last night?" Xander asked, watching her as she stood up and walked to her closet, pulling out a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. She knew that he knew something was up; he wasn't stupid, he knew that she would never abandon Liam at home, well, he knew she wouldn't not call if she wasn't going to be there to say goodnight to him. But at the same time, she was still apprehensive about telling him about Angel. Sure, she had told Willow but that was different, Willow didn't despise him like Xander.

"Just more vamps than I had anticipated. I hadn't been expecting it to be such a long night that's all." She tried hard to sound convincing but he knew her better than that, he knew when she was lying, it was part of the territory of being friends for such a long time.

"Angel's back." He said.

"What? I never said that." She asked, her guilt showing on her face, she knew that there was no way that she could hide this; he had obviously figured it out.

"You didn't have to say it." His tone had changed and she could tell that he was angry. "When were you going to tell me?"

"I didn't know that I had to tell you anything. Nothing's changed Xander, it's not like I'm letting him back into my life, into Liam's life."

"You were hiding it from me. I knew last night, before you even went out." He said and she looked at him quizzically, she didn't even have to say anything, he knew what she was thinking. "Liam. He said he met a man at school who drove a car like Angels. What are you going to do Buffy?"

"I don't know Xander! He is Liam's father, he had the right to be in his life, even if it's something I don't want. I can't keep him from him legally."

"You better figure it out Buffy." He said, turning his back on her and walking out the door.

Buffy found herself sighing as she sat down on the bed trying to pull her sneaker on. She hated that life was quickly unraveling, but at the same time, she knew that Angel was coming at a good time, her dreams had been showing her that Liam was in danger, that someone knew about him and was looking to get their hands on him. She, for the first time, understood what it meant when someone said they were between a rock and a hard place. Here she was, trying to protect her son from his biological father, trying to protect herself from her feelings, trying to protect Xander's feelings, all the while she couldn't hide the elation that she felt deep down that he was truly back. It was going to take some time, but she hoped that eventually things would settle into normalcy, that somehow, everything would fall into place as it was suppose to.

Grabbing her purse from the dresser, she darted down the stairs to find Liam standing there, his backpack on his back and his lunch pail in his hand, the look on his face somewhere between irritation and excitement. At least she would have ten minutes in the car to speak to him, even if it were only for a little while.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't get to tuck you in last night. I wanted to hear all about your day." She said sincerely as she put her hand on his head and softly brushed his hair with her fingers, all the while trying to keep her eyes on the road.

"It's okay." He said, but she could hear a slightly hurt note in his voice.

"How was your first day? Did you make any friends."

"Yea, I made lots of friends mom. And, Miss. Ash is really nice. And, I saw someone driving a car like you said dad use to drive. He was nice but he seemed really sad." Liam responded, shrugging as he remembered the events of the previous day.

"Did he say anything to you?" Her heart seemed to skip a beat, wondering if Angel had revealed himself to the boy. It wasn't something she was ready to explain to him, she needed time to formulate her speech, but it was something she knew she was going to have to do soon, she couldn't hide him from Angel for much longer, eventually the cat was going to be let out of the bag, and she had to be prepared to deal with it in a manner that protected her son.

"No, not really." He said as they pulled into a parking space. Liam had jumped out of the car almost as soon as she had turned the key and shut the ignition off. He was so excited, to happy to be out of the house and with children his own age. At least school provided him with a four hour time frame in which he could learn more about himself, where he could play with people his own age. She unbuckled herself from the seatbelt and got out of the car, following Liam's path.

_Meanwhile…_

He stood at the other end of the parking lot, his eyes focused on her. She stood there with her son, with their son, her hand on his shoulder as she spoke with who he was presuming was Liam's teacher although he couldn't see her face, her back was to him. He wanted so badly to join them, to be in on the conversation, to have one arm wrapped around her waist and the other on his son's shoulder. He wanted them to be a family, the family he never thought he could have with her.

He watched her posture change, her stomach seemingly growing tighter as she stood up straighter, almost as though she could sense that his eyes were on her. It wouldn't have been the first time, she always seemed to know when he was near. She turned to look towards the parking lot, her hand still on Liam's shoulder as their eyes met briefly. Her face showed no emotion and she looked through him as though he was a ghost. Maybe that was all he was now to her, a ghost of her past, something that she no longer believed to be in existence. It was a plausible conclusion in so many ways; he had left her, had left them behind and had never thought to come back until now, maybe she truly had believed that when he had left he had died.

He found himself inching closer to his Plymouth, just wanting to drive away and forget about what was happening. But how could he? How could he forget the dream that he had? The fear that seemed to come over her face as they stood there listening to the voices in the other room, unable to determine who they might be. How could he leave them now, knowing that he could have the chance to redeem himself, to prove to her that he was going to stick around, that after all this time, she was still the only one that made him feel alive, both figuratively and literally if he accounted for his past.

He opened the door to the vehicle and sat down, watching as Buffy leaned down and kissed their son before walking towards the parking lot. He wondered if she would walk past him or if she would talk to him, hopefully more rationally than she had the previous night. So many questions were racing through his mind and all he wanted were answers, all he wanted was to know that she was safe, that Liam was safe. At least for the time being, he could see that they were unharmed, meaning whoever was behind that closed door had yet to act on his threat.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded as she stood outside his window looking at him. The children had gone into their classroom and the playground was now deserted. He just sat there, his eyes gazing out the windshield, afraid to meet her own eyes, afraid of what he might see in them. "I said, what are you doing here Angel?"

"I had to know…" He stammered, dropping his sentence off as he turned to face her. Her arms were crossed defensively but she stood back, anticipating that he would get out of the car.

"Know what?"

He opened the door, stepping out and closing it behind him before leaning against the hard surface. He tried to keep his posture open, tried hard to make sure that he wasn't standing in a defensive pose, he didn't want her to run, he wanted to talk to her. "I needed to know that you were both okay."

"Why wouldn't we be? We've been just fine the past five years. Why would you coming back change any of that? Why do you even care?"

"Because regardless of what you might think Buffy, I have always cared about you, I have never stopped loving you. You stand there, and I can tell that you're scared, but I'm not going anywhere this time. I've spent enough of my time running and I'm sick of it, I can't deny that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I belong here, with you, with Liam."

She stood there, staring at him, trying desperately to blink away the tears that were starting to pool in the corners of her eyes.

"I know you know I was in your dream last night." He finally said, breaking the silence that had fallen.

"It was just a stupid dream. It's nothing." She lied.

"It's everything. Liam's in trouble and you know it. Running from it isn't going to solve the problem."

"I'm not running from anything. I just need to sort things out. This isn't exactly easy for me Angel. I have a son now. I have someone who needs me, who depends on me and I can't let you come around and mess that up. When you're around I'm a different person, and I can't risk my son, I can't throw him into that situation."

"So what… That's it? That's all I get? I don't even get to know the boy?"

"I just… I need time Angel. I need to know that you aren't going to leave again. I need to know that if I let you into his life you aren't going to make him love you and then leave him."

"I'll give you time then. But I need to know, is this the first time you've had that dream?" He watched her carefully, knowing the answer before it even came out of her mouth.

"No. It's not the first time."

"Let me help."

"I need to do this on my own. I don't need your help Angel. I've been fine for the past five years, I can handle this on my own."

"But you don't have to do this alone."

"Yes… I do." She said before turning and running to her car. She couldn't continue to stand there, she felt like the was drowning, like she couldn't breathe. His eyes on her made her nervous, and his questioning seemed to rattle her. Although she knew she needed him around, she didn't want him to know that. True, she had gotten along just fine without him but she knew that things were different this time, she knew that there was no way that she could ever get through this unless he was fighting next to her.

Although she didn't know much at all about what was going on, she had relayed her dreams to Giles over a long distance phone call to Scotland. She had yet to hear back from him and the longer that it took, the more worried she became about the outcome. Giles never was one who liked to give her bad news, and it seemed like that was the inevitable. It had been exactly two weeks since the last dream and exactly a week and a half since she had last spoken with Giles. Now, the dreams were more frequent, and each time they referred to Liam as the boy who could change everything. She had no idea what that meant, and in so many ways, she had no desire to know. All she wanted to do was protect her son's innocence.

When she arrived back home, she kicked her shoes off and crawled back into bed before setting an alarm for a quick, two hour nap. Her sleep that night had been restless after her confrontation with Angel and due to her inadequate sleep and her second meeting with Angel in the parking lot, she was emotionally exhausted. It didn't take long at all for her to find sleep.

"_How are you doing?" He asked, watching her from the corner of his eye as she entered the mansion. Her face was almost unreadable, had it not been for the previous nights event's he would have had no idea what she was thinking, what she was possibly feeling._

"_Been better." Her voice was soft yet her answer short. He could hear the pain in her voice as she tried to mask it and he could feel something swell within his stomach. _

"_Not hard to believe. You were a real soldier last night, Buffy." He wanted to run to her, to wrap his arms around her body and feel her warm self pressed against him, he wanted to take her head in his hands and kiss her, hoping that the act would make it all go away._

"_That's me. One of the troops." _

"_I know how hard it was for you." _

"_I really doubt that." _

"_Is there anything I can do to make it better?" That's all he wanted, and the look on her face, he knew there wasn't a thing, that this was something she had to deal with on her own time, something she needed to push past and it was something he couldn't help her with. The feeling in his stomach became more apparent but he tried hard to push it away, to ignore it._

"_Look, I know you only did what I asked. And we, we got what we wanted."_

"_I never wanted it to go that far."_

"_I know that. It's not even a question of that. It's just, after… I need a little bit of a break." Her eyes met his for a moment and she started to back up, putting more distance between them that there already was, he felt like they were miles away. "Please…" She didn't wait for a response, instead she turned her back to him and proceeded to walk away, leaving him standing there, frozen in his place. _

_He looked up, his eyes trailing her back and spoke softly, "You still my girl?" The pain in his stomach was excruciating, the feeling of something trying to claw its way out of the stomach lining and he knew that only she could make it go away._

"_Always." She responded turning to look at him briefly before leaving him there, thousands of thoughts plaguing his mind and an inner pain that was almost unbearable. _

For a moment, she had forgotten that she was even asleep. It wasn't until she felt someone's hand upon her shoulder, pulling her from her dream, her memory, that she realized that she wasn't alone in the house. As she opened her eyes, she took in the scene, in an instant, a rush of emotions seemed to flood her system.

"What are you doing here? How? When did you get here?" She asked, looking at the familiar person sitting beside her on the bed.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Finally an update! Sorry about the delay but the firm I'm working for has a huge case which means I've had to take on extra hours at work (not a bad thing for my bank account though, but a bad thing for my desire to write!) which means I've barely had any time to myself! Anyways thank you all so much for the positive feedback for the last chapter. I hope this one lives up to your standards! Anyways please continue to let us know what you think of the story we love to hear your feedback! And thank you for all your support! Hopefully a new chapter isn't too far down the road (meaning I hope it doesn't take another two weeks!)!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"I didn't think you'd even recognize me, let alone remember me." He said, standing up, looking down at his feet. It was true; it had been years since they had last talked, he thought leaving her was the best option, that she couldn't afford to have him in her life. It was his opinion that he was a liability to her and as long as he was around, he would only get her killed.

"How could I ever forget you Pike?" She said, sitting up and bringing him into a hug before pulling away and looking at him. Although it had been over a decade since they had last seen each other, she couldn't help but notice that he had barely changed at all; besides the fact that they had only been sixteen when they had last said goodbye and the wisdom that his older eyes seemed to possess, the only notable difference that she could find was his bulkier frame. "When did you get here? What are you doing here? How did you get here?"

"Sure got a lot of questions all at once. I got in last night actually, I wanted to stop by but I was afraid that it was too late so I figured I'd drop by today and see how you were. Granted, I wasn't expecting you to be passed out asleep this late in the morning… Hope you don't mind, I borrowed the key you have hidden under that rock. And, just so you know, you should think about moving that, it's way too stereotypical." He started to laugh and she socked him playfully with a pillow. She had forgotten how easy it was to be around him, how comfortable she felt when she felt with him. It was almost as though no time at all had passed, that they were still their sixteen-year-old selves.

"I know I can be unoriginal but my mind has been muddled lately." She replied tossing the pillow to the side of the bed.

"So I've heard. That actually brings me to the third part of your question. I heard through the grapevine that you were in trouble. So, I left Las Vegas and headed straight here."

"What do you know?"

"I know that I got a phone call from Scotland telling me that someone needed to look after you for a while. I was urged to tell you that you should leave San Diego, that right now things here aren't safe for you, and Liam. Who I'm assuming is the son that I was told about, fathered by that vamp you fell for?"

"He's not a vampire anymore." She said softly as her eyes met her old flames.

"Buff, that's not the problem. Right now, you need to know that whoever is after Liam is here in the city just waiting to strike. Don't give them the chance, the sooner we get out of here the better." He could see the fear in her eyes and it was a look that he had never thought she would have, after all that he had heard about her.

When he left her in Las Vegas, he knew that it was the only option. Although they didn't keep in touch he still had the inside scoop of what was happening in the vamp world. He had heard that she had defeated the Master only a few months after they had parted, had learned that she had fallen in love with Angelus and sent him to hell, word got to him about her role in defeating the First evil and he was proud to have known her. Now, after seeing everything that he presumed she had, to see the look that flashed in her eyes when he mentioned that her son was in trouble, it was telling of how she had grown, how much older she was now.

"I can't leave until I talk to Angel." She replied quietly. He had every right to know what was going on and although she didn't want his help, she knew that he deserved the right to know that she had to get out of San Diego and take Liam with her. It would be up to him if he wanted to follow but she couldn't do what he had done to her, she couldn't just take the boy and run. She had to be the bigger person, she had to be the person that he hadn't been.

"What? You mean he's back?" He asked but he didn't have to hear what she said next, he figured that he already knew the answer. "Scotland, who I'm assuming was your old watcher, still I have no idea how he knew about me but anyways, I was told that he left the two of you after he battled with Wolfram and Hart. I take it since the other end of the line didn't know that he was back, it is a recent development."

She nodded and got out of the bed, walking to the closet to pull the clothes out that she would need to change into. She had about two hours before she had to pick Liam back up from school, which gave her plenty of time to take a shower and start packing some of the things in the house. What Pike was telling her was something she already knew she was probably going to have to do, she just didn't want to. She didn't want to disrupt the normalcy that she had been able to establish in Liam's life and now that he had just started school and begun to meet kids his own age, it just didn't seem fair. Nevertheless, she knew it was for the best, and she knew that it was something she had to do if she wanted to protect her son, which had always been her priority.

"Did Giles tell you anything else? Mention who it might be? Why they are after him?" She called from inside her closet where she was taking a shirt off of its hanger and grabbing clean underwear.

"All I was told was what I've told you. He pushed for you to go to Scotland but I told him that I couldn't tell you where to go or tell you that you should go to begin with. I'm just here to tell you what's up. Apparently he would have called himself but he was leaving Scotland to do some research and wasn't sure when he would be able to get a hold of you. Makes sense I guess." He said and shrugged, watching her as she walked back into the room and laid her clothes out on the bed. "If you need help, I'm here. I'm a pretty good packer too if you want help with that. I'd help you with the moving process but I still drive the bike and it's not exactly good for moving things to other locations.

"I'd appreciate that Pike, and I'm glad that you're here. I know that we didn't part on exactly good terms but I am grateful for your being here. I have some loose ends I have to tie up which I suppose I'll try and get done in the next few days, I guess I'll aim to be out of here by the end of the week." She said, her eyes meeting his own. She could see the sensitivity that his eyes conveyed and the truthfulness in his desire to be there to help her, it made her sad that so much time had passed since they had last spoken, though they had not managed to make a romantic relationship work, she was beginning to realize that she had lost someone who could have been a great ally and friend.

"I'll go downstairs and start packing things up so you can get dressed. Whenever you want to go I'll be there." He said before walking out the door, closing it behind him to give her the privacy that he felt she wanted.

After the door closed, all she wanted to do was cry. To release the emotions that were building up within her. So much had happened in only a few days and she wasn't sure that she was strong enough to deal with it all. She wanted to close her eyes and make it all go away and now she had to actually met with Angel, to talk to him rationally, explain everything that Pike had told her to him and give him an ultimatum: he could come with her and get to know the child who had lived without him for five years or he could stay and never try to contact them again. Though she knew that he would chose to come with them, the fear that he would grow bored of them or find that he no longer felt the same way for her still lingered in her mind. There always seemed to be a constant fear that she would let him back into her life and find herself heartbroken yet again, it seemed as though things never changed between them.

As she shed her clothes in the bathroom, she let the water warm. She wanted to just wash everything away, she wanted things to be different, she wanted her son to grow up normally and now she feared that a dream like that, could never come true. As she stepped into the shower, she let the warm water envelope her, it felt almost like a womb, a warm, gentle womb in which nothing could harm her. As she closed her eyes, her thoughts wandered to a time in which she wasn't suppose to remember, a time which had been erased from her memory at his insistence, though she had known about this event now for almost eight years now, it never felt real because to her it was more dreamlike than real, he hadn't wanted her to know, to remember and although her death had given that day back to her, it never felt real.

"_Angel? You okay?" She asked, noticing that he had stopped and a look had come across his face, one that seemed to tell her that something was wrong._

"_I feel weird." _

"_I know. I do, too. I mean, I only came to see you so I could tell you face-to-face not to see me face-to-face anymore, and I know there's a fly in that logic ointment somewhere, but… The next thing I knew we're being attacked by this mutant ninja demon thing, and then we're on the floor on top of each other, and it's just really consuming being around you." She rambled, speaking her heart before her mind could catch up with her mouth._

"_No, I meant I felt weird from the demon's blood. It's powerful." Her heart sank in her chest and she felt somewhat like a child who had just been reprimanded._

"_Oh. Okay. Let's just rewind Buffy's little outburst and pretend it never happened." She could feel the heat in her cheeks as she blushed._

"_No." He said, stopping in his tracks and looking at her. "It is confusing. And I… When we're apart, it's easier. It hurts. Every day. But I live with it. Now you're… You're right here, and I can actually reach out and… It's more than confusing. It's unbearable." _

"_But we have to bear, right? I mean, what else can we do? It doesn't work with us. It can't." _

She opened her eyes, maybe things hadn't changed, maybe things were never meant to work out in this lifetime between the two of them. Although she never doubted that they belonged together, maybe that kind of passion, that kind of relationship wasn't meant for the real world. Maybe, come some other life, they could find each other again and be together, but with as many tries as they had had, maybe it just wasn't meant to be anymore.

_Meanwhile…_

Angel stood outside the house pacing. He knew that he shouldn't have been there but after watching her closely and noticing that some guy he had never seen before was following her, he felt it was his duty to make sure she was okay. He knew from the get go that she wasn't thinking straight, so many things were happening in her life that she was confused, that her mind was muddled. When he was parked across the street and he saw the guy go into her house, he was sure he had never jumped out of his car so quickly and walk to the door to make sure she was okay.

So far thirty minutes had passed and he hadn't heard a thing, not a scream or a struggle. His mind went from fear that she was in danger, to fear that maybe this mystery guy was a boyfriend. Though she had not mentioned that she had anyone in her life, and although she said that she still loved him, the fact that he was still there and he was outside her house, well, it didn't sit well with him. Pacing seemed to provide some kind of relief, at least it helped to keep his mind from wandering even more than it already was.

"Angel!" He heard his voice called from behind him and he turned to see an older Willow standing in front of him. He didn't know if he should hug her, shake her hand, question her about the man who walked into the house, so many different thoughts were going through his head.

"Willow." He said, deciding after all to hug her as he felt her arms wrap around his neck and pull him into a friendly hug. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I was just stopping by to check on Buffy. I know she's been really stressed out lately." She replied after they pulled away. "How are you?"

"I've been better. I'm sure I've been a good cause of Buffy's stress. I just wish she would talk to me."

"Give her some time, she just needs to process all this." She responded, her eyes meeting his as she tried to convey to him without words that Buffy still needed him in her life, that she wanted him in her life.

"She isn't seeing anyone is she? Because this guy has been in the house for a while and I know I don't have the right to ask that but I have to know."

"This seems like a conversation we have had before… She isn't seeing anyone Angel, she hasn't been with anyone since you left, I can promise you that." She told him, reaching towards him and touching his arm.

He closed his eyes, thinking back to when Ford had come into town and he had boiled over with jealousy at the attention that Buffy had shown him and Willow had been the one he had turned to, who he had confided in even though he knew her loyalty belonged with Buffy. Having her to talk to, well, it helped and he had been thankful that he had been able to get the thoughts that had been weighing on his mind into the open.

"_I want you to track someone down. On the net." He said, looking around her room._

"_Oh! Great! I'm so the net girl." She responded as they walked to her computer._

"_I just wanna find everything I can. Records, affiliates, I'm not even sure what I'm looking for."_

"_Good. What's the name?" She asked._

"_Billy Fordham."_

"_Uh, Angel? If I saw something you really don't wanna hear, do you promise not to bite me?"_

"_Are you gonna tell me that I'm jealous?" He asked, looking down at his hands._

"_Well, you do sometimes get that way."_

"_You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty… I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yea, I get jealous…"_

"I know Willow." He said, pushing the thought away and putting himself back into the present. "I just…"

"Go home Angel. Try not to think about it. When she's ready, well, then she'll find you." Willow said, patting him on the arm before turning to walk up the drive.

"Thanks Willow." He responded, turning his back to her and began his walk to his car which he had parked down the street. It was getting closer to noon anyways and Buffy would be leaving to pick up Liam from school. The last thing he needed was her knowing he was lurking.

_Later That Night…_

The phone rang, startling Buffy as she lay on her couch flipping through a magazine. She was exhausted. It went beyond the mental exhaustion that she had been feeling the past few days and on to a physical exhaustion. She had spent the majority of the day getting things together, organizing everything to get it ready to put into boxes and suitcases.

"Hello?" She said into the receiver after pressing the talk button. "Sure, I'll be over there in a few minutes."

She sighed as she hung up. Liam was fast asleep but thankfully Willow was still over.

"Where are you going?" Willow asked, looking up from the book she was reading and at her friend who was now sitting up and pulling on her sneakers.

"It was the bartender from the Australian pub saying that Angel was there and someone needs to pick him up. I'm not sure how he got my number but I can't just leave him there." She responded, standing up and grabbing her keys off the table.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No… I should do this. Maybe I can get through to him in his drunk state, I don't know. I'll call you in a little while and let you know what's going on." She replied watching as Willow nodded and looked back down at her book.

She walked out the door and opened the driver's side door of her Mercedes knowing that things were going to change drastically in her life tonight. She just wasn't sure if that change was for the best, or for the worst.

**Author's Note (Brighteyes)**

**Hey guys! Thanks for the positive feedback on chapter 8! I was able to bust out Chapter 9 a little quicker this time so I hope that you like it. Things will be changing soon in the story, relationships as well as locations! Anyways, please continue to let me know what you think of the story, it helps shape the way I write it based on some of the things you say! Thanks for your continuing support!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

A dive bar was kind of an understatement. At least, that was her thought as she opened the doors to the pub and looked around, taking in the dirty interior and even dirtier clientele. In an instant, all eyes were on her and she felt as though she was an animal in a cage at a zoo. Well, maybe that wasn't the best description, no, she felt like a piece of meat on display for a bunch of hungry men.

"Hey baby." She heard being called at her and she did her best to ignore it, pulling her sweatshirt closer to her body as she crossed her arms over her chest. If there was one thing she hated more than demons, it was pervert, drunk, old me who thought they had the right to hit on girls half their age.

In that moment she was angry, angry that he had allowed this to happen, that he was pulling her out of her comfortable house at midnight, and putting her in a situation that made her uncomfortable. Although, of course she didn't have to come, but she knew it was the right thing to do. Sending Willow to do her dirty work was the worst thing she could have done. He probably wouldn't have even been there drinking if it hadn't been for her, for her harsh treatment of him since he had shown up.

The bar was dark and she thought that she saw him at the other end, sprawled out across a booth but, wanting to be sure first she headed to the bartender. His voice had been friendly on the phone, probably skill he had acquired after a few years of experience dealing with customers who drank more than their body could handle, and she figured that he would point her in the right direction.

"You're Buffy right?" He asked, a pleasant smile gracing his face as she approached. He had been expecting her. "Sorry to wreck your night but there was no way I could let big guy over there drive home." He pointed to the booth that she had suspected he was at and then turned his attention back to her. "I would have called another number that was in his phone but he had been going on and on about you all night. You're together right? You had a fight?"

She was about to respond, to tell him that he was mistaken, that they weren't a couple but, after taking in the scene in the room, she figured she was better off letting the leeches think she was taken. Well, that and the bartender didn't give her a chance to respond. "He is a wreck. I'll admit that I don't know much about your situation but I've been a bartender for ten years now, and I've never seen any man as remorseful as he is."

"How much did he drink?" She wanted to change the subject, not wanting to hear it from this nice man before her but instead to hear it from Angel. She couldn't help but wonder if all bartenders were this nosey, if they all liked to put their foot into a situation in which they really didn't know the extent of how deep the emotional cut was. "And I guess what did he drink? I guess I need to know if I'll be cleaning up a bathroom tonight."

He laughed. She guessed it was something he had heard before. It wouldn't have been surprising, especially if he had been working the bar for ten years. This was probably a common occurrence for him, even if she felt out of place. He probably would have felt the same way if he was defeating some big evil, out of place and confused. Of course, she'd been drunk before, granted, it seemed like every time she ingested the substance, which, at her current age she began referring to as poison, something terrible happened. It was just, this was the first time she had seen him like this. In all the years that they had known each other, she had never thought of him in this light. Granted, she knew that prior to his transformation into a vampire, he had acquired a taste for liquor, she thought that he had kicked it as a vampire.

Then again, the reason she had turned to beer so many years ago, besides how good it felt to just let go, had been to get over a broken heart. It hadn't exactly been a stellar time in her life. Angel had walked out on her for the first time, claiming that she deserved better, that he couldn't give her the life that she wanted, or at least, would want. All she could think about at the time was how could he make that decision? How could he tell her what she wanted? How could he make that decision? Granted, she knew he was right, it just didn't seem fair to make that choice. And well, then there was Parker. But that was history, a bad decision made with a boy who knew she was vulnerable and just wanted to exploit it.

"A few beers, some shots of whisky…" His voice interrupted her train of thought and she realized that she wasn't in the comfort of her own home contemplating her history but rather in a dive bar off of Grand. "He already threw some of it up in the bathroom. I'm assuming he's done for the night."

"Can I get some water? I'm requesting he drink at least three glasses and visits the bathroom at least one more time before I let him into my Benz." She said, watching as the bartender pulled a glass out and filled it with the clear liquid before handing it to her with a sympathetic smile. "Thanks." She smiled back at him and walked over to the booth trying to figure out how she was going to wake him up and persuade him to drink the water.

She climbed into the booth, moving his legs off the seat so she could sit next to him. His spicy scent filled her nostrils and in a moment she was transported back into her history, she was so sensitive to everything lately, a simple touch or scent seemed to stir up a mixture of emotions and memories. This time however, before she let the thoughts take over her mind, she pushed them out, she had a job to do first. He was slouched against the side of the wall and his eyes fluttered open as her hand touched his shoulder and gentle shook him awake.

"Angel." She said softly, her own heart racing in her chest as she touched him. He slowly gained consciousness as to where he was as he sat up straighter, but still propping himself against the wall for support.

"Buffy?" He questioned, not sure if he was dreaming or if she really was there. The night was pretty much a blur and he was still having difficulty remembering where he was and why he was there. Then again, that didn't really matter much to him anymore, she was there, sitting next to him. They were closer in this moment than they had been in five years and he was just going to try to savor the moment, as drunk as he was.

"I'm here." She whispered, pushing the glass of water towards him. "I need you to drink this." He took the water without hesitation and gulped down the contents.

After thirty minutes, three glasses of water, and a still very drunk Angel on her hands, the bar was closing and she hand to find a way to get Angel from the booth that he was almost passed out in and into her car. Then there was still the ordeal of where to take him. Was it proper to take him back to her house, she had no idea where he was staying and she wasn't sure she wanted to drive from hotel to hotel trying to figure it out. But at the same time, she had a four year old son at home who would surely ask her questions she didn't have an answer to.

With help from the bartender, she was able to move Angel from the booth and into the front seat of her Mercedes. She figured she had about thirty to forty five minutes before he would be ready to throw up again, which gave her an ample amount of time to get from the bar and back to her house. Although she realized that Liam would have answers if he discovered Angel but she also knew that she couldn't keep this secret anymore, she couldn't continue to hide Angel from him. She understood that the longer she kept him a secret, the more her son would resent her, resent her decision and that was something she couldn't bear to happen. Liam was her whole world and if he resented her instead of looked up to her like she knew he did, she would never be able to forgive herself, especially if it was for something like this. She knew Angel loved her; she had to stop worrying about what the future would bring and just accept the present.

She pulled into her drive way twenty minutes later, and lucky she did because as soon as she got him up the stairs, she steered him directly into the bathroom where he proceeded to spent a good twenty minutes in. The noise must have woken Liam because five minutes after she had left him in the bathroom and went to look through her things for something that he could put on, clean towels so he could clean up, and water, so he could hydrate, her son stood by the door, clutching his teddy bear in one hand.

"Mommy?" He asked softly, looking into the room, noticing a strange man in the bathroom on the floor by the toilet, and his mother by her dresser.

"Baby what are you doing up?" She stopped what she was doing and walked over to him, bending down and picking him up in her arms before making her way back to his bedroom.

"Who was that?" He asked, resting his head on her shoulder.

"We will talk about that tomorrow okay baby? Right now I just want you to go to sleep. I'll close your door so that it's quiet okay?" She said, laying him back down in his bed before pulling the covers up over him and tucking him in. He nodded and she leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight baby, I love you."

She walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind her before walking back into her room and finding Angel standing in the middle of the room. He looked at her as though he thought he was dreaming, and she could understand that, it wasn't like she had been kind to him as of late and here she was, taking care of him and letting him sleep in her house. She could tell he was still unsteady on his feet but she also knew he would probably want to clean up, he couldn't have felt that great after spending that much time on the bathroom floor. And she still didn't know how sick he had been when he was at the bar, the bartender failed to tell her that.

"Here, you should clean up. You'll feel better." She said, breaking the silence and handing him the towel she had taken out. He took it from her, still not saying a word. She figured he was afraid he would be sick again if he opened his mouth. "I think I still have some of your things… I'll get you something clean to wear, and I can throw your things in the wash so you have clothes tomorrow."

She walked back to the dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt that he had left, that she would wear to bed when she wanted to be closer to him. "Here," She said and handed it to him. She heard the door to the shower close and she walked in, grabbed his clothes and headed back down the stairs to put them in the wash and grab a few bottles of water to put by the bedside if he needed them.

"Is he okay?" Willow's voice startled her. In the series of events of the night, she had forgotten that Willow was even staying at the house with her.

"He will be. He'll feel like crap in the morning but he really doesn't have anyone to blame but himself."She responded, pressing the button on the washing machine and turning to face Willow.

"So…"

"Yes, he's staying here. I didn't know where he was staying, as soon as he got in the car he passed out and the last thing I wanted to do was drive around for hours on end trying to figure it out."

"Are you going to tell Liam?" Willow knew that this wasn't exactly an easy time in her friends life, but she wasn't sure she was thinking right either. Although she had always been an Angel enthusiast, compared with the rest of the clan, she knew that Buffy always seemed to move faster than she should when it came to Angel. She hoped that this time things would be different, he did seem changed, at least he wasn't a wreck like the last time he showed up at her door step, he actually seemed to have his stuff together, seemed to know exactly what he wanted.

"I have to Will. I mean, I'm not thrilled about it but I know that the longer I keep this from him, the more he will resent me in the future and that would kill me."

"Alright, I'm sure you'll do what is right." Willow said, walking closer to her friend and pulling her into a hug. "Goodnight."

After Willow had gone back up the stairs, she grabbed a few bottles of water from the refrigerator. She stopped and stood in the middle of the kitchen for a while, trying hard to grasp the events of the night, to understand what was happening and to figure out how she was going to explain things to Liam in the morning. It went beyond explaining Angel to him; she also had to tell him that he couldn't go back to school and that they were moving. She knew he probably wouldn't take it well. She had no idea how she was going to go about doing this, she had thought that giving birth to him would be the hardest thing she would ever do, but she realized that she had never been more wrong, tomorrow would be a true test of her abilities.

When she got back upstairs she saw that Angel had passed out on the bed already. His long, tan legs were exposed to her eyes and she felt something stir within her. Even drunk off his ass, he still had the ability to turn her on and now she had to sleep in the same bed with her. After five years of celibacy, of a dormant sex drive, she could feel it start to come out of hibernation as she looked at him. With all that she had left inside of her, she pushed the thoughts aside and placed the cool bottles of water on the night stand next to him before pulling the covers up and making sure he was covered as to not catch cold.

Then, quietly she walked into the bathroom, changed into shorts and a tank top and crawled into the bed next to him. It took everything she could to make sure her hands stayed to herself and her head didn't find the nook in his chest that she often dreamed about on lonely nights when all she wanted to do was cuddle up against him.

_Later That Night…_

He woke a few hours later, his mouth dry and craving water. He was disoriented for a moment, trying to figure out where he was and how he had gotten there. It was only when he noticed the warm body sleeping next to him and turned and saw his soul mate next to him that he was able to put the pieces together.

He had gone to the bar shortly after his conversation with Willow. He had so many thoughts running through his mind that all he wanted to do was silence them and he thought that the alcohol would do that. He had spent the whole night talking to the bartender, telling him about Buffy in-between drinks. What he hadn't expected was the bartender to call Buffy to pick him up. And she did, and she took care of him. It was almost as though they were together.

He looked to the side and saw that she had left a few bottles of water and he opened them, letting the liquid drain from the bottles and quench his dry mouth. The two bottled had not satisfied his thirst, making him realize that he needed to get more water. Quietly, as he didn't want to wake her from her sleep, he pulled the covers off him, and got out of the bed. She had not changed the house at all since he had been there and he knew exactly where to find more water. As he made his way down the hall, he noticed that the door to Liam's room was slightly ajar. Poking his head in, he saw the boy sleeping soundly in his bed, clutching the bear tightly as though he was afraid that if he let it go he would lose it.

He felt a smile creep across his face as he watched his son sleep. It took everything in him not to go in there and touch him, to make sure that what was happening was real because the events of the night seemed surreal to him. After everything that the two of them had been through the past few days, the last thing he expected was for her to welcome him into her home and take care of him as she had. He was especially surprised, as he knew she had not told Liam about him yet, and by letting him into the house, he was aware of the situation that she was putting herself in.

He stepped back from the door, not wanting to wake the boy and went downstairs to grab more water. He found the bottles in the fridge and quickly drank one as he stood at the sink, his eyes on the front lawn, looking carefully to see if anyone was watching the house. When the bottle was empty, he tossed it in the plastic recycling bin, glanced once more out the window to reassure himself that the house was safe, and took one more bottle out of the fridge to bring back upstairs.

When he got back to the room, he placed the water on the table and crawled back under the covers. He wrestled with the decision to wrap his arms around her, unsure as to how she would react if he woke her up. Finally, he just pushed the thoughts from his mind and turned towards her, wrapping an arm around her waist lightly as he pulled her into a spooning position. She didn't stir and he smiled, his nose next to her hair, breathing in her clean scent. He had thought about this for such a long time now that he couldn't believe that he was there, in her house, in her bed, with his arms around her and she wasn't protesting. After a few minutes, she turned and faced him, her eyes opening just slightly but he knew she was still half asleep. She nestled herself closer to him, resting her head on his chest and draping her arm over his stomach.

"I love you…" She murmured into his chest causing his heart to race. Although she was asleep, she had said the words that he had been longing to hear since he had returned to San Diego.

"I love you." He whispered into her hair, kissing the top of her head softly before drifting back to sleep, thanking his lucky stars that he was falling asleep holding the one woman that he had ever fully loved.

**Authors Note (Brighteyes):**

**Hey guys! I couldn't sleep, bad news for me, good news for all you who like to read this story! So I decided to turn that into a productive few hours and write a new chapter. Anyways, I noticed in a review that someone didn't know who Pike was so I'm going to clear that up. For those who don't know, Pike is Oliver Pike, Buffy's love interest from the movie. Although he really hasn't been canonized I wanted to put him in the story, STRICTLY a platonic relationship for the two as this is a Buffy/Angel story because I can't bring myself to put Buffy with anyone else, I love Angel too much! Anyways, as always, I wanted to thank everyone who continues to read this story! And please continue to leave reviews and let me know what you think! I love hearing from you!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

An eerie calm seemed to fall upon the house. Such a house that was use to the comings and goings of people, this period of non-movement seemed marked with an ominous undertone. Tension seemed to fill the air, so think that it could be cut with a knife. Although the day had seemed to end perfectly, that the night had turned out well enough, it never does, in her life, there was never such a thing as a happy ending. The wind caused the branches of the trees just outside the window to rattle and shake. That should have been enough to tell her that something was wrong, it was never windy like this in September, no, it was a sign that danger was near, or at least, on its way.

"MOMMY!" The voice shrieked, breaking the silence and jolting the inhabitants back into reality, a reality in which they would realize the false calm that had taken over. The scream was different; although danger was not around, it was one that seemed to make her believe that the little boy knew that something was coming, and she knew that she had to figure it out, put the pieces together quickly before it was too late.

She shot up out of the bed, taking only a moment to comprehend that she had only moments before been held tightly in Angel's arms. With the scream, she had been pulled from his protective embrace, from his warm body and into the cold, harsh world that she lived in. What she tried hard to suppress was her brief admission in her mind that it had been the best sleep that she had received in five years. She stole a quick glance down at him, his eyes opening slowly. In her haste, she must have woken him from his sleep and she watched as he sat up, his hand now resting on her back as he looked at her with concern.

"MOMMY!" Liam's voice called out again, she could hear the panic in his voice that she had not yet made it to his room. This hadn't been the first time that he had woken up terrified like this, yet every time she asked him about the dream, he could never remember any details. It was almost as though someone were toying with her, taunting her, telling her that they were coming but refusing to give her any of the details she needed. She supposed it was a strategic plot, and had she been on their side, she probably would have thought it was a genius idea, but as it was happening to her, it was hard, it was wrong. She couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt a child like these people seemingly wanted to do.

"What's wrong?" Angel asked as he watched her slip out from under the covers and stand up, her face wincing as her bare feet touched the cool hardwood floor.

"He's been having nightmares. I'll be back." She responded before exiting the room, not remembering to close to the door, giving him a direct view into the room.

He watched as she sat down on the bed and pulled the boy into her arms, cradling him as he cried onto her shoulder. His heart seemed to be filled with something that he had never experienced before as he watched the exchange between the love of his life and their son. In that moment she seemed both vulnerable and wise beyond her years. It was a strange, and he felt somewhat of an intruder and yet he couldn't tear his eyes away from them. More than anything however, he felt a strong pull to go into the room, to take them both in his arms and protect them. After all, he was almost positive that the reason he survived was so he could come back to be with her, to protect her. It was a task that he had failed to do and now he was being given a second chance and it was all he wanted.

Although he was afraid she would object, that she wouldn't want him there, he pushed that thought from his mind. He slid out from under the covers and stood up, making his way to her bedroom door. He just stood there for a few moments, gathering up the courage to go into the room. His heart raced in his chest, the possibilities of how she might react playing over and over again in his mind. She looked up at him for a moment, their eyes meeting and she did not protest his being there.

He grew bolder, moving from her room, into the hall and finally into Liam's room. He looked around the darkened room, in his investigation into Buffy's life he had come into the room but he had not taken in the decorations, the size, and the feel of the room. Even in the dark he could tell that the boy had a love of superhero's, the room even had a Batman theme. He smiled slightly, remembering when he had met the boy. _"My dad drives a car like yours, that's what my mom says anyways. She showed me a picture once. He's a superhero and gone helping people all the time which is why I haven't met him. Are you a superhero too?" _

His eyes shifted to the dresser, sitting there were a few pictures, immediately he recognized one of them to be a picture of him and Buffy, taken shortly after he had returned from Los Angeles. It had been one of their good days, one of the days in which he had allowed himself to push back the memories of his fight with the partners and just enjoy her company. They had spent the day at the beach, enjoying the warm summer weather and each other. At the end of the day, Willow had snapped the candid photo of them, Buffy wrapped up in his arms as they looked at each other, just before he was going to lean down and kiss her. The sunset behind them caused her hair to glow and although they had spent the day frolicking in the surf, her windswept hair, fresh, makeup free face, and the soft tan that she had developed that day, made him believe that she had never looked more beautiful.

His mind seemed muddled, had the boy recognized him that day at the car? Had he known all along who he was but was too scared to say anything? Had that been why he had lingered at the car? He shook his head, and instead walked to the bed and put his hand on Buffy's shoulder, watching as she looked up at him and smiled softly. His body warmed all over, not expecting the reaction that he was getting but still careful not to think too much into it, he knew she was stressed, that things were not exactly ideal right now. He had to take her actions with a grain of salt for now, at least, until he was certain that she was ready to let him back into her life.

Liam was still crying into her shoulder when he sat down on the bed, causing the boy to look up, and their eyes to meet. If he had thought his heart was racing before entering into the room, nothing seemed to feel the way it did as he sat there looking into the eyes of his son. He could see his resemblance, in fact, had he still possessed the portraits of himself as a child, the boy would have been a spitting image of him, everything but his eyes, no, his eyes seemed to have been a perfect mixture of his dark and Buffy's green eyes. He watched as Liam wiped a few tears from his cheeks before addressing him.

"You're the man from the park." He said softly, as Angel nodded at him. "What are you doing here?"

Angel shrugged, not sure how to respond to the question, not sure if Buffy wanted him to reveal that information. It was a decision that they would have to make together, not something that he could just say. "I heard you had a bad dream." The boy nodded before he continued. "My mom use to sing me to sleep after I had a nightmare. Do you want to hear it?" Liam didn't respond, instead, he pulled himself from him mothers embrace and situated himself under the covers. Buffy moved down the bed, allowing Angel to move closer to the boy, handing him his teddy bear in the process before putting one hand on each side of the boy and leaning over him.

"Over in Killarney many years ago me mither sang a song to me in tones so sweet and low. Just a simple little ditty, in her good ould Irish way, and I'd give the world if she could sing that song to me this day. Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry! Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby." His sung softly to the boy, noticing that as he did, his Irish accent seemed to come over him. It was a song that stirred up so many different feelings, a song that he remembered from his childhood, a song that his mother had often sung to both him and his sister. He kept his eyes on the boy, watching as his eyes slowly closed as he drifted off to sleep to the sound of his voice. "Oft in dreams I wander to that cot again, I feel her arms a-huggin' me as when she held me then. And I hear her voice a -hummin' to me as in days of yore, when she used to rock me fast asleep outside the cabin door. Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry! Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby."

He stood up, allowing Buffy to kiss her son one more time before they exited the room. He knew for now that he would cherish that moment, not knowing when he would be given the chance to have that again. It was in those few minutes that he had a glimpse into what a life they could have, how great it felt to be a father to the boy. He thought briefly to Connor, the son that he had to give up. He wondered what he was doing, where he went to college, if he ever thought about him. He was reminded for a moment about his desires, what he had looked forward to, things that he never was able to have with Connor. _"I know it's a little bit too early to be thinking about stuff like this, but I -I can't wait to watch him, you know, grow up. For him to lose his first tooth. Learn how to ride a bike. Ha. I want to help him pick out a tux for his senior prom. I just can't wait to see who he's gonna to be. I know it's mushy, but it's just... He makes me so happy."_ He wondered then if he would be able to do this for Liam, he wondered if Buffy would let him.

He stood in the hall, his eyes glued to his son who was sleeping peacefully now. Buffy lingered at the bed for a while, her hand resting on Liam's head as if she was afraid that as soon as she left the nightmares would start up again. He knew that he shouldn't continue to stand there but just as he had been drawn to the scene in the first place, he couldn't leave. He felt like the protective father, making sure wife and child were safe and sound. Granted, she wasn't his wife, not yet anyways, and well, he wasn't even sure Liam knew who he was, but again, that was something that he hoped too would change in the near future.

"Are you okay?" He asked as she met him at the door. She wanted to fall into his arms, to let him hold her but she refrained, still unsure as to how she wanted to proceed with the relationship. She was certain however, that after tonight she would have to introduce her son to Angel, granted, she knew that Liam recognized him, and she was surprised by how quickly Liam was comforted by his presence. She should have expected it however, after going so long without a father, without his father. What she hadn't expected was Angel's natural ability with the boy, how gently he spoke to him, and lovingly he sung to him. He had, in her own opinion, gone above and beyond her own expectations.

"I think so." She finally responded, unable to meet his eyes and she cast her gaze down to the floor, her eyes falling briefly on his hands, watching as he reached out and cupped her face in his palm, his hand bringing her eyes up to his own. She began to cry and before she could react, she fell into his chest with his gentle pull. "I just… I want something else for him. I don't want him to have this freak show of a life like the one that I had. It's not fair." Her words were muffled by her sobs but he heard every one of them.

"It's going to be okay." He said softly, running his fingers through her hair with one hand, letting the other softly rub her back. He could feel her body melt against his own, a good sign he thought, a sign that she was becoming more comfortable with him again. It was a small victory, but it was a victory nevertheless. He leaned down and picked her up, feeling her arms tighten around his neck as he carried her from the hall and into the bedroom before lightly setting her down on the bed and pulling the covers up over her.

"He's been having these nightmares consistently for the past month. Each time he wakes up, he can't remember a thing. Someone has to be doing this to him; thankfully, they messed up a little this time. He said that some man tried to take him away. Although he has no idea who the man is, or what he looked like, which doesn't make this process any easier." She said as he walked to the other side of the bed and got into it next to her. He thought about wrapping her up in his arms but he didn't know if she would want that, instead he decided to wait and see what she was going to do.

"They are only nightmares right now. Things will be okay." He said, turning to face her. They were inches away from each other now, both struggling with their inner desire to reach out and hold one another. Before his mind caught up with his hands, he was brushing a few strands of hair off her eyes, waiting for her reply.

"Things will be okay because I'm getting him out of here." She responded matter-of-factly, her eyes meeting his own. "Pike is in town. Giles contacted him and told him to urge me to leave San Diego. Now, more than ever I realize that we can't stay here because whoever is after Liam knows where we are. I need to run to gain a little more time."

"You never run from a fight Buffy." He replied, his mind thinking through all the possibilities, wondering if she even wanted him to come along with them.

"That was before Angel. Having a kid, it changes everything; you of all people should know and understand that. You aren't just living for yourself, the decisions you make affect your child and when push comes to shove, he is the most important thing in my life and making sure he is okay, well that's all I can do for him right now. When I have more information I will gladly step up and fight whatever this is, but right now, I need more time." He winced at the reference to Connor, but he understood where she was coming from, he knew that she had to do the right thing and right now, he knew that they didn't have enough information to accomplish anything, running really was the only option.

"Where will you go?" He questioned, waiting to see if she would ask him to come along. He would have given up everything in a heartbeat, would have packed the entire house up that night if it meant he would be with them.

"North, probably to San Jose. San Francisco is too large, they would expect me to go there. I've found a house, it's just a matter of getting everything packed up." She could tell that he was searching for more information; the look on his face gave that away. She wanted to badly to ask him to come but she hadn't put enough thought into it, hadn't really figured out if it was the right thing to do. And now, she was exhausted, unable to comprehend what was actually happening, only earlier in the day they had been fighting and now, she was in the same bed with him, she had watched him sing their son to sleep, to say she was confused would have been an understatement. "Dawn goes to school in Berkeley so I'll be closer to her… It's for the best really. I'm hoping to be out of here by the end of the week, the sooner the better."

He watched as she closed her eyes, waiting for her to say more, waiting to hear the question that he hoped she would ask. But he watched as her breathing slowed, the tell tale sign that she was now asleep. Had it been anyone else he would have woken her up but he knew how tired she was, it was obvious just looking at her. The stress caused by his return, mixed with this situation that Liam was in, it was enough to drive a person crazy. He watched as she shifted herself closer to him, her head just beside his shoulder. He smiled slightly and wrapped her up in his arms, holding her once again as she slept, hoping that the next day would provide him the answers to his questions.

**Authors Note (Brighteyes):**

**Wow! Thanks to everyone who is reading this story! I'm getting a great deal of support from all of you and I appreciate it so much! Just want to say a quick thank you to all you who have left comments, added the story to your alerts and/or favorites! On another note! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, I'm trying to work on finding more time to write so I can get chapters out to you quicker! This week has definitely been productive in terms of writing and since I couldn't sleep again tonight I figured that I would try and get a new chapter to you! Anyways, please continue to let me know what you think of the story! It really helps me figure out what I'm going to do next!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

She opened her eyes, the sunlight peeking through the blinds hitting her eyes. As her eyes adjusted, she realized that she was still in Angel's tight embrace. It would have been a lie if she had said she wasn't happy to still be in his arms. There was a perfect feeling in it, a comfort that she had not felt in so many years. How could she have gone this long without it? How could she have ever thought that she could live without it? She took a few moments to just enjoy the feeling, to savor the moment, pushing all other thoughts out of her mind, trying her hardest not to let her mind catch up to her actions.

"_Mmm… Good morning." She said, smiling as she opened her eyes and found him looking intently at her. She admired the way the sunlight highlighted the gold flecks in his hair, it was an image she thought she would never be able to see, that she would only dream about it. _

"_Good morning." He replied, smiling back down at her before kissing her forehead, his fingers playing with her hair. Something about him seemed different that morning, as if he was waking up from the coma that had had been victim to over the past few weeks. It was in that moment that the thought crossed her mind that maybe today was different, that maybe today he would be back to normal, back to the man that she knew and recognized. _

"_What's on your agenda today?" she asked, tracing doodles with her fingertips on his bare chest. _

"_You." He responded bluntly before rolling over, pinning her down to the bed and kissing her neck._

"_I think I like that idea." She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck, not for a minute thinking that it would be their last day together._

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, her chin softly resting on his shoulder. His eyes were still closed and for the first time, she allowed her mind to process what was going on around her. For the first time, she wanted to cry, cry because she was confused, she was scared and because deep down, she was hurt. Forgiveness would not come easily, but she knew, in her heart that they were meant to be together. Even after all this time, even after all the pain that he had caused, he was the only one who could still touch her to the core.

She quietly got out of the bed and walked across the room to the dresser. Her fingers rubbed the top of the polished wood, her mind racing with thoughts. Without thinking, she sat down on the floor, opening the drawer, glancing at its contents. There were so many things in there, things that she turned to when she needed comfort: this old shirts, boxers and sweatpants. Yet, as she pushed those things aside, she reached further down until she felt the familiar paper. Reading it again wasn't going to change anything, she knew that, but somehow, she needed to read it once more, to see if the words on that paper made any more sense to her now.

_Buffy,_

_I wasn't sure I could leave you behind if I told you this while you were awake. First, I want you to know that this is not about you, I love you. I always have, and I know, regardless of what happens, I always will. I love everything about you, and no one has ever made me feel the way you do. It's part of the reason I know I have to leave, at least, until I can be the kind of man that you need me to be. These past few weeks have been the best and worst weeks of my 200 plus years of life. The best, because I was with you, because I could take you into the sunlight, because I could make love to you… The worst, because I am plagued with quilt, quilt that I'm happy and alive, and they are dead. I should have been the one to die, not them. I'm not sure where I'm going, I just know that I have to fix myself before I can be with you, I don't deserve to have you in my life right now. I have to find a way to come to terms with everything that has happened, and when I do, I'll come back. I belong with you, just not the way that I am right now. I hope, that when I come back you will still be waiting for me, but I'll understand if you move on… Just know, that every day that I'm away from you, I will always think about, and love you. _

_Forever,  
Angel_

She could feel the tears pool in the corners of her eyes as she re-read the letter. It was a letter that she had read over and over again since he had left her and yet, each and every time, it was enough to move her to tears. Although she had waited for him, she wondered that if Liam had not been born if she would have done the same. No, she would have waited, because even she knew that she belonged with him. What hurt her the most was that it took him so long to figure out what she already knew.

Loss is a terrible thing, something that can take years to overcome. However, it's something that brings you closer to those around you. And, here was Angel, he had suffered such a terrible loss and instead of turning to her, he left. He close solitary refuge instead of her. She, above all others, knew what it meant to lose someone that you love. The death of her mother, Spike… Well, she knew all too well what it meant and the fact that he couldn't open up to her, couldn't learn from her experiences, it stung. He claimed that he was a man not worthy of her but how could he have possibly known that? Had she not time and time again told him how happy she was to be with him? She reached up to her face and wiped away the tears before folding the letter back up.

"Hey… What are you doing down there?" He asked quietly, startling her as she hadn't expected him to be awake. The previous night had been pretty eventful and with all the alcohol that he had consumed, she figured he would be sleeping well into the afternoon. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, not realizing that he was sitting up in the bed and could see everything that she was doing.

"Just going through some things." She responded, her voice shaky from the tears. She stood up, putting the letter on the dresser before walking to the bathroom to wash her face. She didn't want him to know she had been crying. It would have been one thing if she was crying about Liam but she wasn't, she was crying because of him and even now she was still just as confused, unsure as to what she wanted to do.

"I think we should talk." He said softly as she re-entered the room, her eyes still puffy from crying. "There are so many things that have been left unsaid… So many things that I need to tell you, that I need to try and make you understand." She sat down next to him on the bed, feeling his hand as he reached forward, cupping her face and softly stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"I have to take Liam to school." She spoke finally, looking up and letting her eyes meet his.

"I'll do it." A voice interrupted and they turned to the doorway and saw Willow standing there. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt but I was just coming to check to see if you were awake because Liam has school. But, you two should talk. I'll take care of Liam."

"Will I couldn't ask you to do that." Buffy responded, standing up and putting some distance between Angel and herself. It seemed as if every time she was near him she was under some spell causing her to act with her heart before her mind. It was dangerous and before she let herself fall for him she needed to think through this rationally.

"You're not asking. I'm offering. I have to go to the store anyways. Really, Buffy, it's not a big deal. I'll just tell him that you're still asleep, it's highly believable if you just close your door for a while." Willow didn't wait for her to respond, instead, she quickly turned her back on the couple, because even though they might not be together right now, even she knew it was inevitable, closed the door behind her and set about getting Liam ready for school.

They sat there in silence for a long while, both of them searching for the words that they needed to convey their feelings. She had spent so much of her time angry with him that now, as they sat there she couldn't remember why it was she was angry. He had spent so much of his time wondering how he could win her back, how he could get her to let him back into her life that he could not find the words to express just how much he loved her. After thirty minutes of silence, they heard the front door close and shortly after, Willow's car pulling out of the drive way.

"I guess we're alone…" He finally spoke, breaking the long silence that had formed between the two of them. His palms were sweating and his heart was racing with anticipation.

"I guess so." She said quietly, casting a glance out the window before returning her gaze back upon him.

"Buffy… I…" He started but she held up her hand, a signal to tell him to stop, that she wanted to go first. So he did, he closed his mouth and looked at her, ready for whatever verbal abuses she might throw his way, knowing full well that he deserved each and everyone.

"I've spend the past five years angry with you. But, deep down, I know that the angry stems from something more than that, something greater. I probably wouldn't hate you this much if I didn't love you as much as I do. I know that you left because you didn't feel whole and I guess what I hated the most about that choice is that you couldn't tell me that to my face, that you couldn't express your feelings to me, that you wouldn't let me help you deal with it. Instead, you took off and never even made contact with me to let me know you were alive, that you were okay. For five years I didn't know whether you were dead or alive. You can't possibly know how much it tore me up inside, especially as I watched Liam grow. Every time I look at him I see you, I see what we could have been, I see the family that I always had dreamed of having with you. And, as much as I love that little boy that we created, I resented that he looked so much like you. I hated it because it was like I couldn't escape you…" Her voice trailed and she looked down at the bedspread. "But most of all, you broke my heart for the second time. And of all the times, this one hurt the most. We were finally being given a chance to be together, to be happy and you left me… I'm not sure you'll ever know how that feels…"

"I do know how that feels Buffy but you wouldn't believe me even if I told you." He replied, his mind thinking back to the twenty-four hour time frame in which he had been human.

"Try me." She retorted.

"I can't. You would never believe me, but it doesn't matter. I need you to understand that leaving you wasn't something that I wanted to do. I hated leaving you, and I almost didn't go through with it, but I didn't think that it was fair to you to have me in your life so broken. I needed to figure things out, I needed to fix myself before I could move forward with you."

"How can you make that choice without me? How can you know what is good for me, for us? How could you know what I wanted? What I needed? The entire time you were gone, I needed you, Liam needed you, and you weren't there. I don't think I had ever been as scared as I was when I was carrying and if you were there… I don't know." She said, her eyes meeting his.

"I regret every moment since I've been gone, especially knowing that I've missed out on four years of his life! This is a life that I had always dreamed about but never thought that it would actually come true. I've never wanted anything else but to have a family with you, and it kills me, it kills me that I've missed out on this. I just hope that somewhere down the line, you five me another chance, you give me the opportunity to be a part of both of your lives. I know that right now I don't deserve it, but I hope that somehow I can show you that I want to be here." He responded, reaching forward and touching her cheek softly, wiping a few of the tears that had fallen from her eyes.

"I love you Angel, I always have, I just don't know if I trust you…" Her voice trailed off, realizing that she had told him this many years ago, when she witnessed his exchange with Drusilla.

"I want you to. I know why you can't right now and I don't blame you, I never have, I just want to be given the chance. I want to prove to you that I'm here and I'm here to stay. I've made some bad decisions in the past, let you slip away so many times that I hate to think about it but I can't let that happen again, I won't let that happen again." He moved closer to her, his hand wrapping around one side of her waist in an attempt to bring her closer to him. She didn't protest and allowed herself to move closer to him, to enjoy the feel of his arm around her.

"You still my girl?" He said after a lull in the conversation, knowing the meaning behind the words, hoping that she too would remember. They had been through hell and back that night, he had watched her suffer at the hands of their own plan, and yet, they came out on top, they were able to move past that. He watched her intently, noting the smile beginning to play on her lips. His heart seemed full for that moment, realizing before she even had the chance to respond that she was open to giving him the second chance that he so desperately desired.

"Always." She responded plainly, without much enthusiasm, and yet, they both knew it was the truth. There was no need for any other words. She rested her head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, trying to wrap her head around everything that they had just talked about, and what it meant for her future, for their future, for Liam's future.

"I want to go with you when you leave. I want to help keep Liam safe." He finally said, causing her to pull away and look him in the eyes. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, the concern for both hers and Liam's safety. She reached forward, brushing his hair off his brow but letting her fingers linger on his forehead.

She didn't speak, she only nodded her head in reply worried that she might say the wrong thing, that she might speak with her head instead of her heart. Deep down, she knew that they would be better off with Angel around, that the two of them fighting together, was a much better match for whatever it was that was after Liam, whatever it was that wanted to destroy her by taking the one thing that she loved more than life itself.

"This afternoon." She said softly before standing up and making her way to the bathroom.

"What about this afternoon?" He called after her, watching as she turned around to face him.

"We'll talk to Liam. Tell him that his father is back." She responded, turning back towards the door, and closing it shut as she walked in to take her shower and figure out what she was going to tell her son.

_Moments Later_

His mind was reeling after his conversation with Buffy. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought it would go that smoothly, in fact, he was ready to be thrown out on his ass. Yet, he knew that she was thinking not of herself, but rather, she was thinking about what was best for the boy. However, being in close proximity to her, it still allowed him the opportunity to show her that he was serious about her, about them, about making a family with her. He thought that he had lost his family when they died in Los Angeles, but rather, he realized that, that just wasn't so, he still had a family, and she never gave up on him, even though it would have been much easier.

The doorbell rang, interrupting his train of thought. She hadn't mentioned anyone stopping by, but as he approached the door he noticed the familiar car in the driveway. He took a deep breath knowing that he was going to catch hell when he opened the door. Yet, he knew that he deserved it and he knew that the person standing on the other side of that door had every right to hate him. As he opened the door, their eyes meet for the first time in five years.

"I guess I should have guessed that you would be here. Decided you'd had enough of traveling and thought you'd come and play with Buff's emotions again? Realized that you want to be her beau again?" He didn't give Angel the time to respond, instead he continued. "I wish I could have videotaped everything that has happened since you've been gone; I wish you could see the tears that you made her cry. You may not be dead anymore, but you'll be dead boy again if you hurt her again."

"Nice to see you again too Xander." Angel replied, taking a sharp breath as he let him into the house. It was obvious he was still in love with her, even after all those years…

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Thought I'd update sooner this time around, I was able to write this chapter up really quickly actually and couldn't wait to see what people thought about it! Just wanted to thank everyone again for their support and readership! As always, please continue to let me know what you think! **


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

They sat in the quiet living room, both unwilling to meet each other's gaze. Too much time had passed and too much had been said and done, both were at a loss for words, unable to tell the other all the thoughts that had been going through their minds for the past five years. No, it was deeper than that, both had always been on shaky ground when it came to one another, and after everything that had transpired, it seemed that they were standing on a fault line which was growing larger by the minute.

For Xander, Angel was always a roadblock in his relationship with Buffy. It would have been a big lie if he had claimed he was over Buffy, because in the end, he only suppressed his feelings, knowing that they could never be more than the friends that they are. What hurt him the most though, was that here was this man who possessed the abilities to have everything that Xander had ever dreamed of, a life with Buffy, and each and every time she let him into her life, he ended up breaking her heart. He thought, or rather, for the first time he allowed himself to hope that this time Buffy would stand her ground, that she wouldn't give into whatever it was he had over her.

Angel's jealousy stemmed from a different place. For years it was that Xander was in her life when he could not be. She could turn to him at any time in the day and he could be there for her. Had Xander been just a friend, had his attraction to Buffy not been written across his face, maybe it would have been different.

"_Love makes you do the wacky." She said as they walked through the graveyard. It had been an eventful night, with Chris' whole, bring my brother back to life and make him a girlfriend thing. Thankfully everyone had gotten out of the burning building, but it didn't make the situation any different. The situation had been taken over the edge, he understood that he wanted his brother around, but really… Did it have to go that far?_

"_What?" He asked, not getting what she was saying._

"_Crazy stuff."_

"_Oh. Crazy, like a two-hundred-and-forty-one-year-old being jealous of a high school junior?" He cringed almost as he said it, being jealous of Xander… I mean, the guy was a kid, an innocent, geeky kid. And if that was the case how could he make him this jealous? Well, I mean her dance with him, the one he had only bore witness to a few days ago, the sexy dance, the mating dance, yea, it would be simple to say it drove him crazy. He didn't want men looking at her like that, he knew, even then, that she belonged with him._

"_Are you feeling up?" She questioned, the smile visible on her lips._

"_I've thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little." She didn't need to know that by a little, he really meant a lot._

"_I don't love Xander." She looked at him and although he knew that was true, he couldn't help but wonder if she would ever grow tired of their situation, and come to the realization that maybe she wanted Xander that way._

"_Yea, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't, take your classes, eat your meals, hear your jokes and complaints… He gets to see you in the sunlight."_

But now it was different, now he could take her into the light and yet, that jealously was still there, it was just different. Now, he was jealous of the time that he had spent with Liam, the role of father that he had taken on. It was almost as though his worst fear became a reality; Xander took his place, he played the role that he should have been, he was able to watch Liam's birth and the first four years of his life… It should have been him, he should have been there and he had failed her, especially when he was given the chance to have what he had always wanted with her, he could have performed the same roles that Xander had in those early years.

They continued to sit there in the quiet room, the only noise coming from the clock on the wall. The ticking of the second hand seemed to emphasis the time, making both the men aware of its presence. Yet as they both sat there, neither of them could find the right words to say, both knew their emotions ran deep when it came to Buffy. Angel was too worried that he would say something he would regret, Xander was afraid that he would forget to say something and regret that.

"I know that I'm the last person you want to see here and I understand that. I haven't exactly been man of the year or anything but I do care very deeply for Buffy. I love her, I always have, and I always will." Angel began, realizing that one of them had to put their pride aside and begin the conversation if they ever planned to solve the issue at hand, if only for Buffy.

Xander laughed, "For loving her so much you sure have an interesting way of showing it. What you think you can just march back into her life? Into Liam's life and expect everything to be okay? You think you can just erase the past five years?"

"I'm aware of the damage that I've caused… And, I don't expect her to fall into my arms, I just want her to know that I'm here for her and Liam. Whatever is going on, they need protection and I can do that. I can be there for them right now… I'm not expecting anything from either of them, granted yes, I would like a relationship with my son, and the women who I created him with, but I know that right now that's not my priority."

"That's what you say now…" Xander responded, his voice trailing. For the first time he allowed his thoughts to take over. He realized that for the first time he was at a risk of losing everything that he had held dear for the past four years. Although he knew that a romantic relationship with Buffy was unlikely, the thought that it could happen, well it was better than nothing, now with Angel's presence, that unlikely possibility had turned from a possibility to an impossibility, as long as Angel was around, he could never be anything but the friend. But, it was more than that. Angel's presence also meant that Liam would get to know his real father, and although Xander hated to admit it, Angel was an intriguing man, and probably more exciting than he was. He was losing not only Buffy, but Liam as well.

"Xander I mean it. I know that right now my word is shot to hell but I want to be here, I want to stay and I will stay as long as I am wanted, or needed." He looked out the window for a moment, if only to clear his mind for a brief moment and search for the words he needed to desperately find. "I'm glad that you could be here when I wasn't. I know that we haven't always gotten along, but truly, I'm glad there was someone there who could take care of both her and Liam."

Xander was taken aback; he hadn't anticipated Angel to be that candid, to actually voice his appreciation for everything that he had done for Buffy and Liam in his absence. He knew that the act required Angel to push aside his own pride, to admit that he was in the wrong, and it was something that he was actually thankful for, something that he admired.

"If you hurt her again… If you hurt Liam…" Xander started, but he knew he didn't have to finish because as the words came out of his mouth, he watched as Angel stood up and stretched his hand out. It was a small peace offering but a peace offering nonetheless and its symbolism was what really mattered.

They were alone again in the silence, both unable to talk, savoring the moment, realizing that it was a turning point in their relationship. The silence didn't last long however, as they watched a motorcycle pull up outside the house and the man walk up to the door, ringing the bell and waiting for it to open.

_Meanwhile…_

She stood under the hot water hoping that it would help ease the tension in her shoulders. She couldn't deny that falling asleep in his arms felt good, that it felt right because it did, but at the same time, she knew that things were changing and she wasn't sure she was prepared for that change. He was always important in her life, even when she was trying to get over him, she knew that there was always going to be that chemistry between them that would make moving on impossible. Now she had to figure out what to tell her son.

"_Mommy…" He said as he got into her bed and slid up against her. He was different than most children in so many ways but in others, like this moment, he was exactly the age that he was suppose to be. He longed for human interaction, she assumed it was from the years that Angel spent secluded, shunning all life. It became their morning ritual for Liam to crawl into her bed and snuggle with her as they talked. That morning was a particularly intense conversation, one that she had been dreading since his birth._

"_What is it sweetie?" She asked before kissing the boys forehead._

"_Who is my dad?" He asked, his eyes meeting her own. She thought she might die in that moment as the look that he gave her was so similar to the one that Angel use to give her when he wanted information from her. _

"_Your dad is the best man I've ever met and I can tell you that I've met a lot of men" She started, rubbing his back softly. "He was my first and only love, and with him by my side or even when we were far away from each other, I knew that he was protecting me."_

"_So where is he?"_

"_He's doing what he does best, helping others. You see, your dad is kind of like a superhero, he helps people who need him. That's why he isn't here, although I know he would love to be, he can't. We are strong enough to take care of ourselves but there are people out there who cannot and they need his help." She said, not sure how much of what she was saying was a lie. "He will come back though, I know he will because I know that he wants to met you." _

"_What does he look like?"_

"_He looks like you." She said, feeling the tears pool in her eyes. She had to be strong though, she couldn't show her son just how much Angel's absence affected her. _

She turned off the faucet, feeling the last few drops of water as they fell from the showerhead. Although the steam had created a blanket of warmth in the room, as soon as she opened the door, the cool breeze hit her and sent chills down her spine. The house was quiet and she wondered for a moment where Angel had gone, if he had left in a panic, afraid of meeting the boy. But as she glanced to the bed she noticed that his clothes were sitting there, he must have grabbed them from the dryer while she was in the shower. She smiled for a moment, thanking god that she hadn't scared him off, and realizing that maybe this time, things would be different, maybe third times really are charmed.

The phone rang and she ran to get it, wondering who it could possibly be.

"Hello?" She said into the phone, her voice breathy from the dash to the phone.

"Buffy?" The familiar British voice called out from the other end, causing her heart to race. News, he must have news, he must have figured out who has been the cause of all this commotion.

"Giles! Have you figured anything out?" There was panic in her voice and he could hear it, it was unlike her usual tone, almost slightly higher in pitch and he realized that things must have gotten worse over the past week, enough to cause her this much worry.

"I'm afraid not. I have some reason to believe that there is a connection with the Immortal, seeing as your previous history with him as well as Angel's history… It's a possibility. I'm by no means saying that it is him, but I would advise you to keep a lookout for men who work for him." He responded.

She could feel the tingles inside her body as Giles mentioned the Immortal. It had been six years since she left him in Rome, realizing that he wasn't the demon that she thought he was. Her relationships had always been, well, eccentric for starters, and that one, well it was on that level as well. She thought, possibly, that it could work between them but the more she got to know him, the more she realized that he was dangerous. After one final confrontation, she grabbed her things and headed back to California. If anything, the relationship with him only made her more nostalgic for Angel, for the feel of his arms around her, for the security that she always felt when he was around.

"Buffy… Buffy?" She heard finally Giles voice as he tried to get her attention, her mind must have wandered.

"Oh… Yea, I'll keep a look out." She finally replied.

"Is there something you aren't telling me?"

"Angel's back." She said softly, almost in a whisper.

"When did this happen?" She could hear the concern in Giles' voice, seemingly he would believe that this was the reason for all this activity involving Liam, the secret was finally out in the open.

"Two… Three days ago? I don't know really… Things have been a little more eventful around here. I've been having more dreams and Liam has been having more dreams… I'm going to San Jose in a few days. Angel is coming with me. "

"Buffy do you really think a relationship is something you should be pursuing right now?" He questioned, cutting her off.

"I'm not pursuing a relationship Giles… I know that he would do anything to protect me, to protect Liam. It's the right thing to do. If he really is serious about sticking around, I guess this will be the best way to determine that."

"Just be careful Buffy…"

"I will be. I'll call you when I get there." She said, before they said goodbye and hung their respective phones up. She knew that Giles was only upset because of his concern, he always had her best intentions at hand, and he knew that things weren't safe, he knew that she needed help.

She walked to her closet and began to rummage through her things, dreading her talk with Liam, dreading what might come of it, and slightly concerned that her entire relationship with Liam was going to change in the blink of an eye. She wasn't sure that she was ready for that, if Liam was ready for it, but then again, she knew that it had to be done. He had to know.

_Meanwhile…_

"Who exactly are you?" Angel asked, as he opened the door and saw the same man who entered Buffy's house the previous day, the same man that sent him into his jealous rage and caused him to enter that bar to begin with. Xander too, curious as he had never seen this man before had left his place on the couch and was standing up trying to get a better look at him.

"I'm Pike… Oliver Pike. Is Buffy here?" He asked, looking past Angel and making eye contact with Xander. He, like Xander and Angel was confused, having never met either of these men standing in her living room, was wondering where they had come from.

"That depends. What exactly do you want from her?" Angel said, his eyes taking in the guys short frame. If he was dangerous, he knew that he would be able to take him, he was at least a good four inches taller, and appeared to be stronger. "Who wears leather jackets in the middle of summer anyway…" He mumbled.

"You do sometimes." Xander spoke out, causing Angel to shot him a look, one that said to shut up and mind his own business, however, he let it roll off his shoulder, realizing that this confrontation was actually going to be more entertaining for him than anything else. Considering everything that he had been through lately, he figured that he was due some entertainment, especially at Angel's expense.

"I don't see how that is your business, but I'm an old friend of hers. I'm here to get her out of here and some place safe. Now, would you mind letting me in or do I have to stand here all afternoon?" Angel stepped back and let the kid in, although they appeared to be the same age, he wondered if this Pike guy knew who he was.

"So you know our little Buffster. Where did you meet?" Xander probed, sitting back down. Pike walked to the couch and joined him in the living room while Angel stood there, his arms crossed against his chest as he eyed him, his eyes instinctively narrowing, watching each and every move he made. "Tell me, were you romantically involved?" He knew it would drive Angel crazy, and although they had, 'made up' so to speak, he still wanted to see Angel suffer, that was instinctual.

"We both went to Hemery in Los Angeles, before she burned down the gym… Gotta say, we didn't get a long too well in the beginning, she was one of those superficial, valley girls that are typical in Los Angles. You know, looks obsessed, self-obsessed. She was one of them and I was more of a loner, had one best friend and we spent most of our time drinking. But that's beside the point. Buffy changed me, she saved me and I witnessed her watches death."

"Giles is alive and well." Xander interrupted, suddenly confused.

"Merrick. I watched Lothos kill Merrick, or rather, attempt to kill him. Merrick took his own life, he would have rather killed himself than be sired by Lothos."

"The vampire king." Angel interrupted, causing Pike to turn and look at him, nodding.

"Anyways, she was pretty down after it all. I mean, I don't blame her, she was young, her entire life ahead of her and now she lost the one person who knew how to help her. Scary stuff. Lothos got wind of the dance and I went, mainly because, well, like any male realized that she was different, special and part of me wanted to be a part of her life, the other part of me went because I knew that something was going to happen." Angel tensed as he heard Pike begin to recount his courtship, he knew when he mentioned Lothos who Pike was. Although neither Buffy nor Pike had ever seen him, he had witnessed the events of the night that Pike was speaking of, witnessed them from afar. He had watched the way Pike looked at her, the way she looked at him and even then, he was jealous, he, after all had already fallen in love with her, they just had not met yet. "Anyways, to make a long story short, Lothos and his minions showed up at the dance, she and I worked together to protect the students and she defeated Lothos, granted, she burned the gym down in the process… After that we ran away to Vegas together until I realized that I was a liability in her life and told her to go back home, to go to her family. Anyways, I guess she moved to Sunnydale, and although I had caught word of what she had been up to, I only just got in touch with her when I received a phone call from Giles, who I'm assuming use to be her watcher. He said she needed help so I came here."

"Wow… Girl love boy, boy loves girl but leaves said girl because he is a liability to her… Isn't that the story of Buffy's romantic life. No wonder she has always felt like a freak in relationships." Xander cut in, catching another glance from Angel, but he didn't seem to care, or didn't seem to notice because he kept the smirk on his face.

"I mean, I've never stopped caring for her, I just know that as a slayer, she can't really be with anyone… Not like that anyways. But, now that she isn't really the only slayer anymore, I guess I was hoping coming back would rekindle whatever spark might still be there… Guess only time will tell."

Xander shot a glance over towards Angel, watching as the tall, brooding man clenched his hand into a fist. He knew that he was doing everything he could to refrain from beating the living hell out of the guy. For a moment, Xander felt a wave of concern take over him, worried about what might happen next, about what Angel might do. It was obvious who would win if it came to a battle of fists. Even Xander knew Angel was taller, stronger, and probably faster, with a much keener sense for fighting, it after all came naturally to him.

"You know there is a child right? And that the father is Angelus himself… Well, I mean Angel but he does have traces of Angelus in him. You really think you want to go up against that? He's not fond of sharing." Xander commented, his eyes moving from Pike to Angel, just waiting for Angel to pounce.

"From what I hear he's a dead beat, out of the picture… I'm not really worried about it. Besides, he couldn't love her enough if he left her pregnant. I mean, really, what decent guy would do that?"

"The kind that doesn't know she is pregnant?" Angel finally piped in, causing Pike to turn around and look at him. "Besides, you don't want to get in the way of fate, destiny, two souls bound together. You're likely to only get hurt in the end."

"What are you saying? Their love is immortal?"

"Their love is a forever love. It's as plain and simple as that." He responded, his eyes meeting Xander's for a moment, waiting for a response from Pike.

"I don't believe it. If they were that connected he never would have left, especially after being made human again thereby giving him the chance to be with her. And, he's an idiot, a stupid idiot who lost the best thing that would ever happen to him."

"You wouldn't know the story. You might want to just wait and see what happens. But I 'd be careful before I put all my eggs in one basket." Angel responded, turning his back to Pike, no longer wanting to continue the conversation but rather stand there patiently, waiting for Buffy to go and pick up their son.

Xander sat there, now uncomfortable from the tension, granted Pike had no idea what he was walking into. Xander even felt a little bad for Pike, just a little though. As much as he disliked Angel, Pike seemed to rub him the wrong way, something just didn't feel right about it, a random old friend making contact after all those years, now claiming to want a relationship with her. It just didn't seem to make sense, and he gathered that under Angel's jealousy, he knew it too. Before he could react however, Buffy was making her way down the stairs.

"Angel, are you ready?" She asked, before stopping at the foot of the stairs and glancing first at her two ex boyfriends and then at her friend, who sat there, his face lit with amusement. "Pike… Xander…" It was barely ten already and her day seemed filled with more drama than she could count, or want to count. She watched as Pike stood up, his face perplexed as he looked from Buffy and then to the tall man who had let him into the house.

**Authors Note:**

**Hey guys! So this was a much longer chapter and there is still so much more that I wanted to add but it was getting too long... Which means I have started to work on the next one! I hope that you are enjoying this, the story is taking a different shape than I had anticipated but that's okay with me! As always, thank you again to everyone who continues to leave reviews, add it as their favorite story or add an alert. Please continue to leave reviews and let me know what you think! Hopefully another chapter will be up again soon!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

It was obvious that she had been out of the game for a long while. The more time she spent away from slaying, the more she realized how much her instincts were beginning to fail her. Five years ago, hell, even three years ago she would have been able to detect the tension in the room and would have found a way to get around it, or at least prepare herself for it. Now, here she was, smack dab in the middle of her living room and dead center in the tension, wishing that if she closed her eyes, she would realize that it was all just a dream.

"Well isn't this just dandy." Xander said aloud, covering his mouth with his hand after he realized that he had indeed spoken aloud what had only been intended to be his own private thoughts.

Buffy glared at him momentarily before turning her attention to Angel, a million thoughts were racing through her mind. She could tell that Angel was uncomfortable, well no, she could tell that Angel was angry, upset that Pike was around to begin with. How was that her fault? How was any of this her fault? And, after five years of absence, did he really have the right to be jealous? Their eyes met for a moment and she could see that he wanted an answer, that he wanted to understand how or why Giles would have gotten in touch with him. That was assuming they had already gone through all that, that Pike had explained that Giles was the one who contacted him. Maybe that was why Angel was jealous, maybe he thought she wanted him around, that she had contacted him in help her in the move. But again, even if she had been the one who contacted Pike, he didn't have the right to the jealousy. She shrugged at Angel, as if to tell him that she had no idea what was going on, that she was only an innocent bystander in all that was happening, but it didn't seem to alleviate any of his concerns.

She looked away from Angel and focused her attention on Pike. She wasn't sure she had time to go into this right now, she still had to talk to Angel about how they were going to approach Liam and the more time that they spent at the house, the more time they were wasting. The day was stressful enough as it was; this seemed to only make it worse. "Pike what are you doing here?"

"I thought you needed help getting things packed up. Didn't think I'd be running into your ex-boyfriend , you know, the father of your son." He said sharply. Angel's presence did seem to put a damper on his plans to rekindle a relationship with the slayer, and he was rather taken aback and feeling foolish after his conversation with the other person in the room, whom he was assuming was Xander. Had he known that the tall, brooding man was Angel, he never would have said the things that he had.

He calmed for a moment, but still spoke before Buffy had the chance to respond, this time turning to Angel, "listen man, I'm sorry for what I said, I obviously have no clue as to what is going on. Then again, don't I deserve an apology for your not telling me who you were? We could have avoided a lot of unnecessary tension."

Angel didn't say anything back but just glared at the guy. In his mind, he was thinking about rubbing it in that he was with Buffy, well, not with her, yet, but in her life more so than he ever would be. It wasn't until Buffy came over towards him and placed her hand on his arm that he realized his body was tense. With that one touch, his whole body relaxed, he felt his jaw loosen, his fists unclench, and the weight he had been carrying for the past thirty minutes melt away. He looked down at her, his brown eyes meeting her green, and noticed the small smile that she gave him, her way of telling him to calm down.

She removed her hand from his arm, her hand still tingling from the touch as it always did whenever she touched him. Slowly she walked towards the living room, turning her attention to Pike; it had all been a huge misunderstanding, with everything that had been happening, with all the change that was occurring in her world, he couldn't blame her for forgetting one small insignificant detail. "I'm so sorry Pike, things have been kind of crazy around here and my mind is completely jumbled. Of course I would love for you to help get things packed up; I just need to step out of the house with Angel for a while." She replied, realizing after the fact that Xander was looking at her with a confused and rather hurt look on his face. Although Pike could forgive her, Xander had every right to be angry, She knew it was coming, she could see tell, she had known him long enough that he needn't even speak to give away his feelings. Her heart broke, she had hurt the one person who had always been there for her, the one person who really deserved to know what was happening, what was going on in her life and Liam's life.

"What? You're moving? When were you planning on telling me?" Xander asked his voice higher than normal. She could feel the tears start to form in her eyes, all this drama and it could have all been avoided, her world was crumbling and she hated that she was hurting everyone that was close to her. Hurting him was something she never set out to do and she knew, regardless of how they had parted the day before, she was in the wrong, he should have been the first that she told.

"Xander, yesterday you left angry with me and then Pike showed up and I just didn't have time, everything has been so confusing, so crazy… You don't deserve this, I should have called you first, you have been the person who has always been there for me, and when Pike came with the news, I panicked. All I could think about was the time crunch, how much there was that needed to get done in such a short period of time. I'm so sorry, really. I have to get out of here, they know about Liam and they know that Angel is the father and they are here in San Diego. I have to get him out of here before something happens to him." She stated through her tears. Angel moved closer to her, concerned. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms, to make it all go away but he knew that right now, that action would not be the best thing to do, he knew that it would probably only make things worse with the company that was present in the house. "This is the last thing I wanted to spring on you and this wasn't how I wanted the situation to go. Can we talk tonight? You and me, dinner?"

Xander looked at her for a moment and then towards Angel, noticing that the same look of jealousy was back on Angel's face. He tried hard not to laugh as he stood up, walking towards his friend. "That sounds good. So long as big, tall, man over there doesn't mind."

"I think he can deal with it." She responded plainly, turning to look at Angel, an amused look on her face as she too saw that Angel was uncomfortable with the idea of her having dinner with Xander. "I mean, it's not like it's the first time it's going to happen. Or the last." She hugged Xander tightly, although she never had romantic feelings for him, well, unless you count the time that Amy cast that spell causing all the girls in Sunnydale, except Cordelia, to lust after him, she knew that he was always going to be an important part of her life, she knew she would always want to have him in her life.

"Where are you heading off to?" He asked as they pulled away and he watched as she walked towards the door where Angel was still standing. She placed her hand on Angel again and Xander couldn't believe that in one simple gesture she was able to change the ex-vampire's mood. He instantly softened with her touch.

"To the school, to pick up Liam and explain what is going on to his teacher…" She paused for a moment, looking up at Angel who was staring down at her intently. "Introduce him to his father." Xander could hear the worry in her voice and Angel must have to because as soon as those last five words rolled off her tongue, Angel's arm slipped around her waist and his fingers began to rub the small of her back.

"Hey. It will be fine, he's a good boy, he'll be excited about the news. I know he's been waiting for this for a long time now." Xander spoke, looking at her, trying to convey the truth of his words through his stare, it was times like this that he cursed the day he lost one eye, it never seemed as meaningful when it came from one eye, no, two eyes would have helped. "I'll stay here, help get things packed up. Don't worry about it. We'll talk about it more tonight."

Buffy nodded and turned to walk into the kitchen. Her purse was sitting on the table and she picked it up along with her car keys. The house was silent, none of the occupants knowing exactly what to say, what to do. Pike had moved from the couch over to one of the book shelves where he stood, looking at the books that filled it, Xander was now over by the coffee table, rummaging through the piles of magazines, sorting the new ones from the old, Angel had moved to the door, his hand on the knob as he waited for her.

"Ready?" she asked, causing them all to look at her, only to see that she was looking directly into the eyes of Liam's father. He nodded and opened the door, motioning for her to go first. "See you guys in a bit." She said, glancing over her shoulder as she stepped onto the porch and closer to the confrontation that she had been dreading.

"So what's the deal with them anyways?" Pike asked after the door closed and Buffy and Angel had left. His curiosity had been sparked and he wasn't going to leave until he had all the details that he needed. "I mean I know about Angelus, scourge of Europe, got a gypsy curse. I knew that they were involved obviously but how did that happen? Seems like they got together as soon as she moved so Sunnydale, I guess I thought that what we had was more than that. That she would take more time to mourn the relationship."

Xander was on the other side of the room tossing out old magazines, making neat piles of the books that she kept around the house to do various research when the time came. He was apprehensive to divulge Buffy's personal life to someone he didn't even know, but she seemed comfortable enough around him, she seemed to trust him, even though his senses were telling him to run for the hills. He looked up from the piles, stifling the sigh that he so desperately wanted to let out, and looked at the man standing at the other side of the room, piling up photographs and other mementos that Buffy had collected over the years.

"Where do you want me to start?" Xander asked, knowing that the story was long and involved.

Pike looked around the room. "From the beginning. It's not like it's going to be a short afternoon."

_Meanwhile…_

She gripped the wheel of the car tightly, her knuckles turning white, but she didn't seem to notice, she just held on for dear life. She hadn't been this on edge in such a long time that she forgot how to deal with it. Back in the day she would have just gone out on a nightly patrol, find a nest of vampires and kill them all. All she could think about was that if Liam didn't exist, it was the first thing she would be doing right now. Then again, she couldn't imagine a life without the boy anymore.

"What's wrong?" Angel asked, reaching over to touch her hair. She flinched unintentionally, forgetting that there was even someone else in the car. He pulled his hand away, realizing that maybe the gesture was too intimate, that he was crossing a line that he shouldn't have. He could feel the heat rush to his cheeks and he cursed himself in his head, it wasn't like him to blush.

"Nothing." She lied, her voice curt. She wanted to look at him but she knew better and instead kept her eyes on the road. She knew it was wrong to lie to him, that he would know that she was lying but she wasn't ready to have this conversation in a moving vehicle. No, this needed more attention then she could give it.

"You can't lie to me Buffy. Pull over and we can talk about it."

"We're almost there anyways." She responded, her eyes still following her nose, she could see the park in the distance. The playground was empty; they would have about thirty minutes to talk before Liam would run out of the gates and into her arms. She felt so far away from Liam right now, as though she was letting him down almost. The past few weeks she had barely been in his life, something she vowed would never happen, he always came first and as of late, well it just seemed that that wasn't so.

He reached over towards her, putting his hand on the back of her neck and rubbing it softly. He could feel the tension in her shoulders and he could feel the guilt rise up in his chest. She was too young to be this worried, too young to have carried the burden that he had left her with. Her life had been hectic and crazy enough before Liam and he had created a situation that she didn't even have to be in. He wished that he could turn back the hands of time, go back to that night that he decided to leave and instead, convince himself to stay. It was all he could think about now; how all of this could have easily been avoided had he made a different choice. He felt her relax under his hand and he smiled, at least he could do that for her right now, be there for her now, even if it was five years too late.

_Meanwhile…_

"So he just left her there after graduation? After all that?" Pike asked, taping up one box before writing its contents on the side of it.

"It should have been a good night, defeated the mayor, graduated even but… She's right when she says that she's never had one perfect high school moment, well except when Angel showed up at prom when she thought he wouldn't, but that's beside the point. Angel left and although she didn't say anything, it was written across her face." Xander responded, picking up a box and setting it down by the front door. "I think she thought that maybe he wouldn't really leave. That he would change his mind."

"So what happened after?"

"Oh you know, they came and went into each other's lives. He kept tabs on her, she kept tabs on him. She had relationships, Riley, Spike… She even ventured to the other team and had a little fling with another slayer." Pike stopped what he was doing and turned to look at him, raising one eyebrow as he tried to picture that. "Angel did his own thing too… I think he even fell for Cordelia, but that's another story and ancient history. When it comes down to it, no matter who they were with, part of them always belonged to each other, they were never really able to give themselves wholly to anyone else. Then a little over five years ago he came back into her life, human."

_Xander walked to the front door of the house. Something felt different and as he walked into the room, he noticed Buffy was in the kitchen, putting some things on a tray. _

"_Hey Buff." He said, walking into the room. "What's going on?"_

"_Xander. Hey, just give me a minute I have to bring this upstairs and then I'll explain everything." She responded, before picking up the tray and making her way upstairs. He followed her up the stairs curious as to what she was doing. He watched as she carried the tray into the guestroom where a man was laying. He squinted his eye to get a better look and saw that the man was Angel._

"_Here, eat this. It will help." She said, helping him up, her hand on his arm as their eyes met. _

"_Buffy, I'm not hungry." He told her but she only put her fingers to his lips to silence him._

"_You need to eat if you are going to get better." She replied harshly but in as soft of a voice as possible. He grumbled and took the spoon that she was handing him and began to drink the soup as she ran her fingers through his hair. _

_He felt like an outsider as he watched, as though he had no right to witness the scene that was taking place before his eyes, so he left, just as quietly as he had followed her and sat down on the couch in the living room, his mind reeling with questions that he would have to wait to ask her until she came down from upstairs. _

"What happened to him?" Pike said, interrupting Xander's story.

"If you would let me get there…" His voice trialed and Pike nodded his apology. "When she came downstairs she told me that Angel had battled against the Senior Partners of Wolfram and Hart and had adverted an apocalypse they had been forming. I guess there was good news and bad news in all of that. We weren't sure where his loyalties were when we found out that he was heading up the Los Angeles branch of Wolfram and Hart but the battle brought to the surface that he never really crossed over to the dark side, so I guess that mixed with the Powers decision to restore his humanity qualified as good news… The bad news was that his entire team lost their life in the battle and it pretty much screwed with his head. He felt guilty that he got everything he had ever wanted at their expense."

"So she nursed him back to health and then he left her."

"Kind of. He let her love him, but each time he let himself love her, I guess it just hurt too much and he was confused, at least that's what I gathered from his letter and what she has told me… She didn't have the time to tell him that she was pregnant. Otherwise, I know he would have stayed…"

"Still seems pretty selfish if you ask me." Pike said, tapping up another box and putting it by the door. They had managed to get one whole room packed up and moved to the kitchen.

"Well… Can't we all be sometimes?" Xander replied, shocked that he was taking Angel's side, not really sure what was coming over him. It must have been Pike; there was something off about him that he just couldn't put his finger on.

_Meanwhile…_

"What if he doesn't take this well?" She whispered quietly as she looked off into the distance. She couldn't met his gaze. "What if he is angry with me?"

"I don't expect it to be perfect. I expect it to take time, but I promise he won't be angry with you. He has no reason to be angry with you." He said softly, moving closer to her and taking her in his arms, holding her against his chest tightly. She let herself melt into his chest, enjoying the feel. "If he is going to be angry with anyone, it's going to be me."

"I just wish it was simple. I wish all this could just go away, that all those years could just be erased." She said into his chest, feeling his fingers as they rubbed her back softly.

"There are so many things that I wish I could take back, so many people who I've hurt. I'm just glad you're giving me the chance to make it up."

"Are you talking about Connor?" She said, pulling away from him and looking up at him. She could see the surprise in his face. Had he really thought she didn't know? "I've been keeping tabs on him. I guess it's easy when he goes to the same school as Dawn. But still, I know you would have done the same for me."

"He's… He's at Berkeley?" He stuttered, disbelief still written all over his face.

She nodded and reached up, smoothing out the wrinkles that had formed on his brow. "He and Dawn are… We'll their close."

He didn't say anything, just continued to sit there, a look of disbelief still on his face. She glanced down at the clock on her phone. "We should walk over there, I still need to talk to his teacher."

She stood up and held her hand out to him which he took, surprised by the gesture. In fact, he was pretty much surprised by everything that day. They walked hand in hand towards the building on the other side of the park, watching as the children began to file out and run off with their mothers and fathers.

As they approached, they watched as Liam stood there talking with his teacher until he saw his mother walking towards him. A smile appeared on the boy's face and without excusing himself, he began to run until he was standing at his mother's feet, arms up in the air, waiting for her to pick him up. She did, kissing his cheek in the process and continuing her stride to the teacher who had now turned to face them.

"Angel…" The teacher spoke before Buffy had the chance to open her own mouth and address the teacher. She turned her head and looked to him, his eyes wide with recognition.

"Nina…" He responded turning briefly to look at Buffy who stood there dumbfounded, confused as to what was happening, and how he knew their son's preschool teacher.

**A/N:**

**Dun Dun Dun... Two people from both Buffy and Angel's past have entered... Do I sense drama? Maybe! Anyways, as always thank you to everyone who continues to read and EXTRA thanks to those who leave reviews! I work hard on these chapters and I love knowing that you are enjoying the story! Anyways, please continue to send those reviews my way and let me know what you are thinking!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

She stood there looking at her former lover and the petite blonde that he had approached with. She had her suspicions when she first read the class roster and saw the name on the call sheet, Liam Rupert O'Conner Summers. She even thought she knew when she saw the woman drop the boy off. There was something about her, something that brought a sense of familiarity; however, it wasn't until she saw the boy that she truly knew. Liam was a spitting image of his father, for a moment she had to take a step back and take a deep breath. Although he was barely over three feet tall, his face seemed to mimic what she had imagined Angel would have looked like way back when. Her mind had been a jumble of thoughts, but she pulled herself together and introduced herself that day to the mother.

"_Hi, I'm Nina Ash, and this little guy must be Liam?" She watched as the look of surprise came over the mother, understandably, as there hadn't been many children yet so how would she have known the boys name. "Oh I heard you calling him from the car." She stated covering her own mistake._

"_Buffy. Buffy Summers." She said holding her hand out and shaking the blonde teachers own. Nina knew that of course, she knew exactly who she was. There had been one occasion, without his knowledge, that she had snooped around Angel's apartment and had come across numerous pictures of the girl hidden among his books and nightstand. She looked exactly the same, maybe a little wiser in the eyes but still just as beautiful. "He's going to be okay. Right?"_

_Nina smiled softly, hearing the concern in the mothers voice, she obviously was extremely protective of the boy. "Of course. I'll make sure nothing will happen to him."_

"_Thank you." She said smiling and bending down to Liam who was standing next to her, looking up with cautious eyes. "Okay baby, I'm going to leave you here for a few hours. Ms. Ash will look after you. Have fun okay?"_

"_Love you mommy." He said as they hugged. _

_Nina hated her in that instant as she watched the exchange. No, she hated her before that; she just didn't know it was her until they had met. This woman standing before her was the woman that Angel had loved, even as he was making love to her, she knew that it was this woman that would always keep them apart. His little roman friend._

"Nina what are you doing here?" He asked, feeling Buffy's hand slip from his own. He wanted to turn to look at Buffy but he couldn't, he couldn't stand to see the look that had probably come over her face. Instead, he moved his hand around, brushing his fingers against the top of her hands but she swapped it away, not wanting to touch him right now.

"I came here, after the brush off." She started, her eyes darting to Buffy for a moment. "My sister and I and well, I finished school, realized that there wasn't much I could do with the art degree, so I got a teaching credential and have been teaching preschool for about four years now here in San Diego."

"That's… That's great. Everything else under control?" He asked, briefly glancing down at Buffy. He felt his heart ache, she looked so uncomfortable, so confused. He wanted to turn to her, to tell her that with everything that had happened with Nina; she never meant what she had meant to him. He tried to once again reach for her hand but she only glared at him, and set Liam down, keeping her eyes on him as he ran to the playground.

"Yea, still keeping myself locked up three nights every month." She responded. "I waited for you, you know."

"I'm going to go over there and watch Liam. You guys catch up." Buffy interjected, turning her back on the two that were standing there and began her trek to the playground. She couldn't stand there, couldn't face the fact that she was in the presence of a woman who had loved him. Deep down she knew she had no right to be that upset, that she too had had relationships while they had been apart… It just was different, something she couldn't explain; a feeling that was new to her and definitely one she didn't like very much.

"Buffy…" He called trying to get her to come back. He knew it was a losing battle, the situation was undeniably uncomfortable, even for him. Deep down he knew what she was going through, she put him through it every time she brought around one of her boyfriends, or ex-boyfriends. But still, he never wanted her to feel that, never wanted her to know what it felt like knowing that the person you love more than life itself had been with another. "Nina, I'm sorry…"

"She's your Roman friend isn't she?" She didn't even have to wait for the answer, she knew what was coming. "When I think back to what you said to me, that day we slept together, I should have known that this was coming. _'I may not always be.'_ You couldn't be my hero when you were hers could you? "

He hung his head, he was never very good at lying, it didn't help that she was fairly good at reading him. "The things that I had set in motion, the thing that I was trying so hard to achieve… I guess I thought it wouldn't happen, that after the way that I had been, the ways that I had acted, they would change their mind, give it to another. To be honest I didn't even think I'd make it out of it."

"It appears you have it though. I'm assuming you mean mortality." She replied. "You wanted it so you could be with her. Why couldn't you just tell me that? Why did you string me along? Was I just second prize? Someone you could love second best? "

"It was never my intention to hurt you. Above all else, I need you to believe that. But Buffy…" His voice trailed as he looked to the playground where she was playing with their son. His heart seemed to burst full of love as he watched her catching him as he slid down the slide. He wanted to be done with this conversation, to be on that playground with the two of them, getting to know their son, showing her that he wanted her, no one else, only her.

"I don't know if I want to hear this." She said, choking back the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of him, she didn't want to give him that kind of satisfaction. Then again, she had practiced the speech that she would give him if he ever did find his way to her doorstep and so far, she was failing miserably at it. It always easier in your mind than it is when you are smack dab in the middle of the situation.

"I've always known Buffy was the one. It was just never possible to be with her." He continued, knowing that even though she didn't want to hear it, she had to know the truth. "It's not like it's been a happily ever after tale. I left her shortly after coming back to her. But it wasn't because I wasn't happy, I was the happiest I'd been in so many years."

"So you weren't happy when we were together?"

"It's different Nina. I was happy when I was with you."

"Just not perfectly…" She watched as he sighed and shrugged his shoulders. He seemed to be looking through her, and she knew that this wasn't where he wanted to be. Every few seconds she caught him stealing glances towards the playground and she knew, she knew that it didn't matter how hard she tried, she would never be the one for him. It could never happen between them.

"Buffy came over here to tell you we have to take Liam out of school. He won't be there tomorrow, or the rest of the week. Actually, it's a good possibility that we won't be back to San Diego." He said, changing the subject, no longer wanting to rehash the past. Enough had been said, and enough had been done, it was time to move on, for both of them to get on with their lives.

"Is everything okay?" She asked, genuinely concerned and she watched as Angel shook his head.

"It's never been a secret that I have enemies, especially after what happened five years ago. But no, someone is after Liam and it makes sense, son of a slayer and a warrior. She's been dealing with this alone for four years and it's time that I step up and be the father that I know I can be. So we're moving, north, getting as far away from here as we can."

She nodded her head in understanding. "If you need anything, help, support, a shoulder to cry on… You know where to find me."

He smiled and touched her shoulder as a sign of thanks before walking away from her, heading towards the playground to deal not only with the jealousy of the girl that he loved but also to formally meet the son that he never thought he would ever have.

As he walked away Nina could feel the tears starting to run down her cheeks. She watched him as his figure became smaller and smaller, putting more and more distance between the two of them. Leaving him the first time, had been hard, watching him walk away from her and into the arms of another, that was unbearable. Yet, she continued to torture herself, standing at the door of her classroom. She watched as Buffy turned to face him, her arms by her side. She watched as Angel reached out, touching her waist softly before pulling her into him. She watched as she didn't protest, allowing herself to fit perfectly against his large frame. She watched as Buffy stood on her toes and kissed his cheek before turning her head slightly and looking at her.

When she had finished torturing herself, she opened the door and walked into the classroom. It was there that she allowed the hurt to finally express itself. She walked to her chair and sat down, burying her head in her hands and letting the tears fall freely, allowing herself, for the first time since she had left Los Angeles, to sob.

_Meanwhile…_

Buffy stood there, her fingers entwined with Angels. She wanted to ask him about Nina, to learn the intimate details of their acquaintance, but she knew that right now, it wasn't the right time. Things were rocky enough to begin with, the last thing she wanted to dwell on was his possible love for another person. She knew that it was inevitable, she knew that she couldn't have expected him to go on with his life never loving anyone but her, yet, the selfish part of her had hoped that he would. She figured that the beast that had reared its ugly head inside of her must have been the same, or at least, similar to the beast that often took over Angel when he learned of her other intimacies. She could still remember the look on his face when she spoke to him about Spike.

_They had been arguing about his desire to participate in her battle against the first. He knew that there were things she wasn't telling him, he could smell him on her. It made his skin crawl, the idea of his grand childe being with the woman that he loved, that he belonged with._

"_Okay. That's one reason. What's the other?" He probed, trying to get her to say the words that he knew she was holding back to protect his feelings._

"_There is no other."_

"_Is it Spike? You're not telling me something and his scent… I remember it pretty well."_

"_You vampires. Didn't anybody ever tell you the whole smelling people thing's a little gross?"She wrinkled her nose as they walked through the cemetery._

"_Is he your boyfriend?"_

"_Is that your business?" She knew it didn't matter. Even if it wasn't his business, in the end, it was._

"_Are you in love with him?" He was trying hard to stay steady, to maintain his cool, to not allow the image of Spike and Buffy naked, embracing each other. "Okay, maybe I'm out of line but this is kind of a curve ball for me. I mean, we are talking about Spike here."_

"_It's different. He's different. He has a soul now." She watched as his face contorted, preparing herself for the sarcasm that she knew he would speak with. _

"_Oh. Well." _

"_What?"_

"_That's great. Everyone's got a soul now…" _

"_He'll make a difference." _

"_You know, I started it. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing." She could hear the irritation, the pain, the hurt. Although she cared deeply for Spike, being this close to Angel, she still knew… She still knew that in the end, he was all she ever wanted, all she would ever need. She just wasn't ready for that. Not yet._

"_Oh, my god, are you twelve?" _

"I'm so sorry about that Buffy. I never expected that." He said finally, whispering those words so that only she could hear them.

"Let's not… Not now. We have enough to deal with, the last thing we need are ex's coming into the picture. Later, we'll cross that bridge later." She said softly, looking up at him before turning her attention to Liam who was standing at the bottom of the slide, looking at them intently.

Angel nodded, leaned down, kissed her cheek and took a deep breath as Buffy called Liam over, and dropped his hand so she could put it on Liam's shoulder. They walked to the picnic tables and sat down, Liam tugging on Buffy's arm trying to get her attention. She knew what he wanted, what he wanted to ask her but she ignored the tugging, waiting until they were situated.

"Liam, do you know who this is?" She asked after they had been seated for a few minutes, allowing Liam to adjust, to look closely at Angel. She could tell that he was beginning to retreat into himself, which told her that he did. There had been so much build up, so much time that had passed that he had spent dreaming about this day that now that it was there, she knew that he was probably feeling something between excitement and fear. She watched as he nodded his head slowly, answering her question.

Angel took a deep breath. He thought he knew what he wanted to say but now, looking at the boy who was staring intently at him, who knew exactly who he was, he was rendered speechless. It was in that moment that he felt as if he couldn't breathe. All that seemed to be going through his head was the consequences of saying the wrong thing, afraid that he would push the boy away. He looked to Buffy who had reached across the table and squeezed his hand, trying to help him gain the courage he needed. He returned his gaze to the boy, finally ready, knowing he had Buffy on his side.

**A/N:**

**So I was going to go into the conversation with Liam but I thought I'd leave you wanting more! Sorry! Anyways, I hate Nina... But I'm just not sure I'm done with her yet... The possibilities are endless! As always, thank you to all of you who have been reading and EXTRA thanks to those who are leaving feedback! I love hearing what you have to say about the story, it makes me want to write faster! So, as always ENJOY and please continue to send me your thoughts!**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

The late summer sun beat down on the San Diego park that the torn family had been sitting in. As the time passed, it appeared that they no longer had the park to themselves; mothers, nannies, and babysitters with their children seemed to fill the park. It wasn't exactly what he had in mind for this conversation, he had hoped for something more private, a place with less distractions. But things don't always happen the way that they are imagined, maybe it was best that there were people around, there could be less of a scene. Still, Angel could feel his heart racing in his chest, had hadn't been this nervous about anything before. This meeting could change the course of the rest of his now mortal life.

He took a deep breath, looking to Buffy first who continued to keep her hand on his and smiled at him encouragingly, his eyes than traveled to Liam, who sat there, biting his lower lip, just as his mother does when she is nervous. It seemed to calm him a bit, to see part of Buffy in the child that looked so much like himself. "I'm sorry that I haven't been around Liam. I regret every moment that I was gone, I just couldn't be here, as much as I wanted to be."

"Where were you?" His tiny voice said, looking straight at Angel who could feel his heart break with that look, he could see how much his son needed him around, how much he had wanted him in his life, how hurt he was. Angel looked back to Buffy, he had two options, to lie though his teeth, or to tell him the truth.

"A lot of things were different before you were born, I was different…" Buffy nodded, telling him to go on. "You wouldn't understand now, but when you're older, I want to tell you more. But the thing is, in becoming who I am now, a lot of my friends died and I couldn't forgive myself for that, even though they knew it was a possibility, even though I knew it was a possibility. Deep down, I thought that I was going to be the one to die."

"You mean uncle Spike?" Liam said excitedly, and Angel sat back in surprise. Buffy could see his brow furrow, confused. The Oracles, the Powers, they said that he was the only survivor. Had he missed something? Or had Buffy only spoke of Spike fondly and Liam taken a liking to him? Thoughts flew through his mind, if someone else had survived the battle, had all his searching been in vain? Had he been unhappy for no reason? Or had the Powers done this on purpose? Had they taken everything away to see how he would react? How he would use his newfound humanity?

"Um…" He stuttered, waiting for Buffy to respond, however she didn't. She left her place by Liam and walked over to Angel and sat beside him. She had been keeping Spike a secret for a reason, although she could have told him, the timing was not right. Spike had only returned a few days after Angel had departed. When she tried to get a hold of him, she couldn't find him, he seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth. Spike made himself present in Liam's life every so often, usually to check in on them, to make sure that they were okay, and for that, she had been so thankful for, he had gone above and beyond anything he ever had to do.

"I was meaning to tell you. I wanted to tell you but things, well, they've been crazy." She said, her hand reaching towards his brow and trying to smooth out the wrinkles that had formed. He felt himself relax with her touch as he always did, but he was still confused. Why had they lied to him? "I promise we can talk about it later? After…" He nodded, although he wanted to learn more, this wasn't about him, it wasn't about Spike, it was about Liam.

"Uncle Spike said that you thought he died." Liam stated, trying to find his place in the conversation. "That's why he was out looking for you."

"I didn't know Spike was alive… But, that doesn't change the fact that everyone I had spent five years with, building up the things that I was, trying to stop the evil that was filling Los Angeles… Well, I thought they all died in the process. I didn't know who I was anymore. I blamed myself for their death and left the people who really meant the most to me. I know your mom told you I was a hero, but I didn't feel like one."

"But you stopped the evil?" Liam asked, he seemed to be enjoying the conversation, as though it was some DC Comics movie playing out in front of him. Buffy did all she could to stifle the laugh, she hadn't seen her son this excited over something in such a long time, she hardly would have believed that this was her son's and Angel's first meeting. Which, I guess if you could the lullaby the night before, it really wasn't, but this was the first time that Angel was introducing himself to him.

"We did. My team and I, we did." Angel stated, watching as Liam's face broke out into a smile.

"My dad is Batman!" Liam said excitedly, causing Buffy to laugh, not able to keep it inside. Angel could feel his body warm and he too couldn't help but laugh.

"I wouldn't say that. But I'll take that as a compliment." He responded and watched as Buffy walked back to the other side of the table and sat down on the table bringing Liam into her arms and kissing his cheek. "The thing is, everything is going to change for you, and I want to be there, for you and your mom. I wish that I could have been here from the beginning but I was selfish and I thought that what I needed to do was get away. I was wrong, what I needed to do was be here, because in the end, the only person that ever made me feel like a hero was your mother, I've always only wanted to be her hero. She makes me the person that I want to me. But now, I want to make up for the four years that I've missed because I regret it. I want to be in your life, get to know you, watch you grow, be your father, especially now that things are getting, complicated." Liam looked at Buffy confused, unsure as to what Angel was talking about.

"We have to move baby. It's not safe here in San Diego anymore. I hate that I have to do this to you just as you are starting school, and I understand if you're upset, I know that things were normal, you were meeting friends your own age and settling into a routine, but I wouldn't do this unless it was necessary." He looked towards her as she spoke. "Angel asked if he could come with us, I said that he could, but if you aren't comfortable with that, I understand."

"I'm not trying to push myself into your lives, but I want to try and be the father that you deserve. I know that with both your mother and I around, we can protect you in any way that we might have to. And I want that chance, but I won't come unless you want me to and I hope that you can forgive me for not being around."

"Okay." Liam finally said, a smile finally showing on his face. "I forgive you."

Buffy let slip an audible sigh. It never ceased to amaze her how simple it really would be at the end. How, even though Angel had missed four years of Liam's life, the boy was able to look beyond that and move forward. She wished that she could do the same thing, that she could just say, 'yes, I forgive you,' and move forward. She glanced up and Angel who was grinning, it was something that she rarely saw and she took a mental picture of it, cherishing it because she knew that he wasn't one who wore his emotions on his sleeve, he wasn't one who smiled much. This was a moment that was going to change all three of their lives.

_Meanwhile…_

"We should get these boxes in the U-Haul, that way we get a head start on things." Xander said, looking around the now empty living room and the piles of boxes that now occupied the entry way. After a full afternoon of packing, he and Pike had managed to pack up both the living room and the kitchen, leaving only the office and upstairs rooms to be completed. They were ahead of schedule and were starting to think that they could get the family out of there by Thursday night.

Pike nodded and picked up the boxes and began to take them out to the front where the rental was sitting parked in the driveway. He surveyed the scene, making sure that no one was watching, if anyone caught drift that they were packing up the house and leaving, it would be dangerous. He watched as a blue Toyota Prius pulled up in front of the house and a small redheaded woman stepped out, slinging her large purse over her shoulder.

"You must be Willow." He called from the truck as he stepped out, meeting her halfway down the driveway.

"I would be. And you would be?"

"PIKE! Get your ass back in here and stop messing around, there's more work to be done!" Xander's voice called from the front porch.

"I guess I'm Pike." He said cracking a smile.

"Right, Buffy's friend from Hemery. You guys went to Las Vegas together." She said, as they walked up the drive and towards the house. "I thought you guys dropped out of contact."

"We had. I got a call from Rupert Giles a few days ago and said that he wanted to get Buffy out of San Diego but if it came from him she wouldn't listen to him. Said she was a stubborn woman and wanted to keep her son's life normal and that maybe if it came from someone else, then she would agree to it."

"Makes sense, Buffy always was a little headstrong." Willow responded as they walked in the front door.

"A little headstrong. Come on Will, we've known her for thirteen years, a little is an understatement." Xander responded, pointing to the next round of boxes for Pike to take and then making eye contact with Willow once again. "Now, grab a box and start filling it with the stuff in the office."

"Pushy pushy!" She replied laughing before dropping her bag on the couch, grabbing an empty box and disappearing into the office.

_Later that day…_

"Wow guys. I feel bad that I wasn't here." Buffy said as they walked through the door, she surveyed the house; the entire first floor, and bedrooms upstairs had been packed, minus the bedding that was on the beds and necessary clothes and toiletries. Liam was walking near Angel, it seemed that after four years of absence, the boy wanted to know everything there was about his father. Although he wasn't calling him dad, she took it as a good sign that he was so comfortable around him. Liam had always been apprehensive about people, and she was thankful that the two were bonding at the rate that they were.

"Well, I knew how important today was to you, there were important things to take care of and at the same time both Pike and I knew that although you wanted to leave on Friday, if we can get you out of here tomorrow, that's even better." Xander responded as he got up off the couch. "Ready for dinner? I ordered pizza for Liam, Angel and Will, Pike left a little while ago."

Buffy looked up at Angel realizing that he seemed pretty calm about her going out with Xander for dinner. She chalked that up to his desire to get to know the boy more and with the two of them out of the house, it would give him more time to bond with him before they left for San Jose. "Are you going to be okay with him?"

"We'll be fine." He replied, his arm snaking around her waist. He knew it was brave, but after everything that had happened that day, he just wanted to feel her close to him. As it was, she had been very friendly with him, going so far as kissing him on the cheek after his talk with Nina. Granted, he figured that was because she wanted to claim her territory, he knew Nina had been watching and although it hurt him to hurt her, it was somewhat satisfying knowing that Buffy had been jealous.

She smiled and leaned into him even though she knew that she wasn't ready to jump into anything with him. Seeing him with their son, it made her feel something she hadn't in a long time, pure happiness. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, before looking at Liam who was staring at them curiously. "If anything happens, Willow will be here. She can diffuse the situation I'm sure."

"Of course I can!" She said brightly, interrupting the moment accidently, causing Buffy to pull herself from Angel's arm and met Xander by the door.

"Okay, we'll I'll see you guys soon." She responded and he watched as she left with Xander.

"So…" Angel finally said, this time feeling slightly uncomfortable as he stood there with Liam, alone for the first time. This was a new experience, something that he had never felt before. He wanted to jump into a relationship with him but he had no idea where to start, what to say, what to do. Willow watched, curious as to who was going to make the first move, she was surprised to see that it was Liam.

"Can you tell me how you and mom met?" Liam spoke, sitting down on the couch and watching as Angel walked towards him and took a seat next to him.

"Sure." He was about to go into the story, but he didn't have time, the doorbell rang. Willow had gone upstairs to give them privacy, she figured she could continue packing some of the things upstairs, but as the doorbell rang, she raced down the stairs, cash in hand, not wanting to interrupt the bonding that Angel was doing with his son.

"Bloody hell what is this mess?" the voice rang out as he stepped in, looking around at the packed boxes piled up around the door.

"Spike?" Angel responded, standing up from the couch and looking at the beach blonde who had entered from the door.

"Bloody hell… Peaches, you finally came back…"

**A/N:**

**Hey guys! Hope you liked the new addition to the story! I meant to post yesterday but my friend from out of town was in town so that left me with little time. Like away, thank you to everyone who is reading and EXTRA thanks to all you who continue to leave your reviews and let me know! Hope you were pleased with the conversation between Liam and Angel and what do you know, were the Powers lying to Angel? Why would that be? Anyways, please continue to leave me your thoughts!**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

"What are you doing here Spike?" Angel asked, taking a small step towards him. Although Buffy had casually mentioned him in the conversation earlier, he hadn't expected him to show up. The way they spoke of him it was as though he hadn't been around for a while, now all he could think about was why the bleach blonde vampire, or maybe human, as Angel noticed the sun had set, was standing in the living room, only a few feet away from him. The tension in the air was thick enough to be cut with a knife, that is, if tension was a tangible thing. Angel's mind was a clutter with various thoughts, what had brought him back? Were he and Buffy back together? Willow had said she wasn't seeing anyone but were they together when he was around?

"Uncle Spike!" Liam shouted excitedly as he jumped off the couch and ran to Spikes feet, tossing his arms in the air, expectantly waiting to be picked up. Angel felt his body tighten, not only had Spike stolen Buffy from him, now he was stealing his own son. Angel looked towards Willow for an answer but she gave him nothing but a simple shrug. In his mind, he found himself cursing Buffy for not wanting to talk about this, for hiding Spike's presence. Had she told him what was going on, he wouldn't have felt this odd, this out of place. The exchange between his son and grand childe seemed to only put him more and more on edge, the two were obviously close, almost if not as much as close as Liam was to Xander. He narrowed his eyes as he watched Liam wrap his arms around Spike, hugging him, it was something Liam had not yet done to him and he couldn't help but feel the jealousy rise up within him, the same feeling that he felt whenever another man was lusting after Buffy, or vice versa.

"With you gone, someone had to look after the family. I know you might not want to believe it but these people here, they are my family. I come every so often to check to see how Buffy is getting along and how the little tyke is. I know they have Xander and Willow but I still like to make myself useful." He responded setting Liam back down on the ground and looking at the little boy intently. "You must have just started school…"

"I did! But mommy is taking me out because she says we have to move." Liam responded, a smile plastered across his face.

"No, that's not what I'm asking. Why are you here Spike? Why did you come to her?" Liam looked towards his father, hearing the anger in his voice. He looked to his clenched fists, the furrowed brow that he had seen his mother smooth away earlier that day, his narrowed eyes as he eyed the lanky blonde who stood at the door. He found himself walked towards his dad, hoping that like his mom he could try and alleviate some of the tension that was building, but he had no idea what he was going to do, how to do that, they had only just met and as thrilled as he was about that, part of him was still slightly apprehensive about him, afraid that if he let him in that he might not stick around. All he wanted was for him to stick around, all he wanted to do was get to know his father, and he was afraid, after noticing how tense he became around Spike that this could be a make it or break it moment.

"Listen, I came here apparently a few days after you had skipped town on her. She was a bloody mess…" Spike started. Angel, who was staring intently at Spike was startled when he felt something tugging at his pants and broke the gaze to look down and see Liam looking up at him. He smiled at the boy and reached down, picking him up for a moment, feeling his little arms wrap around his neck and hug him, in that moment the tension disappeared and Angel found himself smiling, realizing just how monumental that particular gesture was. "So I took it upon myself to go and find you, to tell you what was happening, that you had a child on the way. Still couldn't figure out why you'd leave her, after all that talk about how you were soul mates, how you were suppose to be together. I mean, didn't you get everything that you always wanted? Anyways… I almost came pretty close to you… Somewhere in Africa, can't exactly remember where, it was a few years ago… I would have gotten to you had that bitch of a security guard hadn't stopped me. Kept telling her that I was only going to be a minute and she could escort me if it bloody well suited her but the little bitch wouldn't let me. So I watched you get on a plane to London and never saw you again after that. Ended up flying back here to wait until Giles checked things out again, waited for him to give me another lead on your whereabouts… I always seemed to be a few days behind you though, I guess until now, being as you're standing in this living room and all."

"Could you maybe watch the language around the kid?" Angel asked as he set Liam down. In the whole ordeal, the two had failed to realize that Willow had paid for the pizza, and Liam, after being set back down on the floor, ran over and began to devour a slice, obviously hungry from the busy day that he had had.

"Nothing the kid hasn't heard already."

"I'm the boy's father and I don't want him to hear that kind of language." Angel said a little firmer this time.

"Father… Hmph that's a laugh." Spike stated, watching as Angel advanced on him. He didn't flinch, he knew that Angel would never touch him with Liam sitting by watching. He was right, Angel didn't even raise his arm, only stopped right up next to him, his gaze locked with Spikes as he tried to convey his authority.

"Listen Spike, had I known… You think I would have left? You think I was happy to learn about this? To learn about all the time that I've missed. God, you're dense! I've missed out on the birth of my child, I've missed out on the first for years of his life, I wasn't there when Buffy needed me the most, I wasn't there to protect her like I always vowed I would. You think that makes me happy? You realize that the reason I was gone was because I thought you all were dead. I thought that I was to blame for everything that had happened, that we went to battle unprepared, that I was so wrapped up in getting my Shanshu that I caused you all to die."

"I don't know why you thought that. You knew I lived, we were both there… What are you talking about Angel?" Spike asked, looking at him as though he was crazy. Spike clearly remembered the end of the battle, clearly remembered them both living through it and being sent to the another dimension in which they were presented to the Powers, in which they both were given their humanity back and given time to heal from the wounds caused from the battle. Angel had improved faster and was released first but Spike wasn't too far behind him.

"The Powers told me that everyone died. The last I remember seeing of you was your ashes on the floor." Angel stated, in his mind he was trying to go back to that night.

_The Dragon lay there, now dead. Los Angeles, which had only moments before been in flames was now dormant. He looked around, his eyes taking in the scene. Wesley lay there, and as Angel approached him, he realized that he was no longer breathing. Not too far away was Illyria, however, somehow she must have been released as the form that lay close to Wesley was Fred. Gunn too was on the ground. As he left Wesley and walked the two hundred or so feet to Gunn he realized that he too was no longer alive. He thought hard about calling out Spikes name but he turned to the side and saw him laying on the ground. He ran over to him and saw the stake that had been wedged just next to his heart._

"_Spike don't move." He said quietly as the rain started to pour over the city. He put his hand on the stake trying to figure out if there would be any way to take it out and not touch the heart, but the more he looked the more it seemed like a losing battle._

"_Angel, just do it… At least I know I died for something." Spike finally spoke. Angel could hear the pain in his voice and although they had their problems, their differences as of late, killing him was the last thing that he wanted to do._

"_I can't do it Spike…" He responded, letting go of the stake. He couldn't kill him. Nothing else was spoken, Spike instead shifted his weight, the stake piercing the heart and a few moments later, Angel watched as the dust formed at his knees, in that moment knowing that things were never going to be the same, how could he live when everyone else around him had perished in his battle, his fight._

"Well that's just impossible as I'm alive and well. I'm not sure what you've been playing at Angel but the Powers told us both that we had thwarted the apocalypse and they were rewarding us… Finally…" He said, walking to the couch and falling down into it. "You were ready to leave before me so they released you from their dimension first and I came after… Thought you'd still be with Buffy but apparently you had left. I should tell you that I gave you time with her, about two months before I thought I should come… I knew that you would go to her and she would pick you over me, figured it would be better to give you both time to get reacquainted."

"I don't understand, I distinctly remember the Oracles telling me that I was the sole survivor." Angel responded, sitting down on the chair, and putting his forehead to his hand trying to make sense of whatever was happening. Liam however, looked on curiously until Willow reprimanded him and told him that it was rude to eavesdrop.

_Meanwhile…_

"So what's going on exactly?" Xander asked from across the table just as soon as the server had dropped their beers off at the table. She could see the concern in his eyes and she knew that he only had her interests at heart. She touched the cool glass containing the amber liquid

"After you left yesterday, I was angry with you and I know you know that. In the whole scheme of it, I guess we were both a bit foolish about it and I think I should have cut you a little slack as it was Angel we were talking about but still… Whatever happened was going to be my decision." She looked up at him; his eyes were cast down looking into the glass. "After I dropped Liam off at school, I was exhausted and went back to the house and Pike woke me up… I dunno, he said something about how Giles had contacted him and told him to come and make me leave as soon as possible… It was before I could even tell him about Angel being back and I wanted to tell you but we ended things angry with each other and… I don't know Xand, I'm sorry about all this."

"Wait… Pike knew Giles? Giles knows Pike? This is news to me, Giles has never mentioned him before." Xander questioned, looking up at her, his interest piqued.

"I'm not sure if they knew each other per say but I know that Pike is pretty active in the whole Vampire world thing. I guess after I left Las Vegas he continued to fight the evil by himself… I'm guessing he wasn't too hard to track down and I know Giles knows a bit about my life before Sunnydale so he must have put two and two together. He didn't question anything when I told him that I was leaving." Buffy said shrugging.

"Interesting…" Xander commented before taking a sip of his beer.

"What?"

"It's just… There's something about him."

"Oh… You're just saying that because he is new." She said laughing, chalking up his behavior as a sign of his over protectiveness, not only of her but also of Liam.

"No… Really Buffy… It's not just me. Angel is suspicious of him too."

"Angel is suspicious of all the men in my life. Really Xand, he's on our side."

"I dunno. I guess if you say so…" He replied, his voice trailing as he watched as she drank more of the drink in front of her.

"Anyways… I've already talked with Will, but I want both of you to come with Angel and I to San Jose. I need you both around and the house is big enough… Please come."

"I wouldn't let you leave me behind." He said watching as she smiled.

_Meanwhile…_

"Did I ever tell you about the time your dad was turned into a wee little puppet man?" Spike asked, laughing as Liam sat there captivated by the stories that Spike was telling him, Angel looked on and groaned, it wasn't exactly a time that he liked to remember.

Liam shook his head excitedly. "Angel was a puppet?"

"He was even eaten by a werewolf... Granted he ended up dating said werewolf for a while before the apocalypse…"

"Were you really turned into a puppet?" Liam asked looking up at Angel.

"Unfortunately I was, but I was changed back… Obviously." Angel watched as a look of confusion came over Liam's face.

"Am I going to turn into a puppet?" His voice seemed to quiver a bit, nervous about the response, afraid that it was something that might have been hereditary.

"No… Never. It was a fluke thing, an evil spell, and not something that your mother or I will ever let happen to you." Angel told him, hugging the boy, trying to reassure him that he was safe.

"Promise?"

"I promise that we are going to do whatever it takes to keep you safe." Angel responded as the boy pulled away in the exact moment that the door opened and Buffy and Xander walked through the door.

"Baby isn't it past your bedtime?" She asked as Liam ran up to her letting her pick him up.

"But Uncle Spike and Angel were telling me stories."

"Oh they were, were they?" She said kissing his cheek and walking into the family room, eyeing Angel who looked at her, a look that told her that he had something to say to her, but still she had no idea what it meant, what he was trying to convey. She only then realized that Liam had said that Spike was there and as she turned her head and looked towards the chair, she saw his slight frame and bleached hair. In that moment she understood what Angel was trying to say to her, or at least, she guessed what Angel was trying to say to her. "Spike! When did you get here?"

"A few hours ago." He responded watching as she raised her eyebrows. "It's fine. Really…" He understood what the meant, realized that she obviously hadn't gotten to telling Angel about him, well, at least he gathered that from his earlier conversation with Angel when he first showed up at the door. He looked at the clock, it was getting late, somehow they had managed to tell Liam various stories for a long while and he was finally realizing how tired his body was after the long journey.

"I'll tuck him in." Angel said, standing up from the couch and walking towards Buffy and Liam. He reached his hand out to pull Liam from her grip but she took a step back, shaking her head. She hadn't spent much time with him and as much as she wanted Angel to continue to bond with Liam, she too wanted to be with him, to tuck him in as she had been somewhat deprived of that as the recent events began to unfold.

"Why don't we both?" She relied, her eyes locking with his as she held out her free hand to him which he took without even thinking about it. "We'll be back."

"You know what pet, I think I'm going to turn in for the night, it's been a long day. Mind if I crash in the guest bedroom tonight? That is, unless the bed is packed up." Spike said before Buffy and Angel retreated up the stairs.

"But there are things we need to talk about…" Buffy spoke as Liam's head feel to her shoulder. He must have fallen asleep. Something that the somewhat expected as it was way past his bedtime and he had had a rather eventful day.

"You and Angel should talk. We have time tomorrow." He responded, standing up and walking to where he had thrown his bag down on the floor when he entered the house. "It's good to see you again." He walked up to her and kissed her on the cheek, and watched as Angel flinched, taking some pride that he could find ways to annoy him.

"I guess I can live with that." She finally spoke. "Last I checked the bed was still put together."

"Good night." He said as he jogged up the stairs. Both Buffy and Angel stood there for a moment, looking at each other, trying to convey to each other the things they needed to say without words. Their trance was broken however as they heard the door to the guestroom close, causing both of them to jump and to realize that they had a great many things to discuss… Buffy just hoped that Angel would be able to move past it, so they could try and make this work between the two of them. Angel hoped that whatever it was she was going to tell him, wasn't that she and Spike were still seeing each other… Either way, the conversation was surely going to move the relationship forward, or push it way back…

**A/N:**

**Okay first thing's first because I know what I'm implying at the end of this chapter I just want to REASSURE EVERYONE that this IS a Buffy and Angel story... I don't like Buffy and Spike as a couple although I do have a soft spot for him (my reason for bringing him into the story to begin with but I have plans for him which DO NOT involve a relationship with Buffy). The ONLY relationship Buffy is going to have is with ANGEL! Now that that is cleared up... Some bad news... I'm moving back to school which means a two day drive, move into my apartment, which means hooking up internet... Not sure when that's going to happen so although I'll try and continue writing I'm not sure when the next chapter is going to be up... Hopefully it won't take too long to get everything set up... On another note... THANK you to everyone who is reading and EXTRA thanks to those who are adding this story as their favorite and/or adding an alert, AND thank you so much to those who are reviewing! As I've always said I love hearing what you have to say and I honestly take what you say to heart to try and give you a story you WANT to read! So please continue to send me your thoughts!**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

"Christopher Robin and I walked along, Under branches lit up by the moon, Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore, As our days disappeared all too soon, But I've wandered much further today than I should, And I can't seem to find my way back to the Wood, So help me if you can, I've got to get back, To the house at Pooh Corner by one, You'd be surprised, There's so much to be done, Count all the bees in the hive, Chase all the clouds from the sky, Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh…" Buffy sang softly as she stroked Liam's hair. She knew that she wouldn't even get through the entire song before Liam drifted off to sleep yet; there was something that she loved about these moments. Maybe it was the closeness she felt to him, or maybe it was the connection that she felt. The song was one that her mother use to sing to her when she was upset, when she couldn't sleep, and with her mother gone, the act seemed to make her feel closer to her.

Angel sat on the other side of the bed, watching the mother and son, and listening to Buffy as she sung. He was filled with an overwhelming desire to keep them safe, not just her, but both of them. He was surprised with how deeply he already felt for the child who he had really only just met. But there was something about it, something about him, deep down he felt this emotional pull, this connection to him that he knew only he would ever have with him. It was something that neither Xander or Spike could ever touch, it was the connection between father and son. Yet, at the same time, a nagging guilt seemed to take over him. Here he was with Buffy and Liam and yet, he had been out of Connors life for such a long time. He would carry with him for the rest of his now mortal life, regret, regret that he would never have that kind of a relationship with his first-born child.

"It's hard to explain how a few precious things, Seem to follow throughout all our lives, After all's said and done I was watching my son, Sleeping there with my bear by his side, So I tucked him in, I kissed him and as I was going, I swear that old bear whispered 'Boy welcome home,' Believe me if you can, I've finally come back, To the House at Pooh Corner by one, What do you know, There's so much to be done, Count all the bees in the hive, Chase all the clouds from the sky, Back to the days of Christopher Robin, Back o the ways of Christopher Robin, Back to the days of Pooh…" She finished before leaning down and kissing him softly on his forehead.

She felt Angel's eyes on her and she worried about what he was thinking. As she turned to look at him, she realized that she couldn't read his expression. It wasn't that she had ever been that good at knowing exactly what he was thinking, in all reality, it was probably one of the things that intrigued her the most about him, but at that moment, she wanted to know. She shifted her gaze however and returned her stare upon her son. She couldn't help but feel her stomach drop as she began to worry that he would awake with nightmares again. She wished more than ever that there was something she could do for him, something she could give him to make the nightmares go away.

As if reading her mind, Angel reached over and touched her cheek lightly causing her to look back up at him. The unreadable expression had changed and instead all she saw in his eyes was his love for her and for their son. "He'll be okay. I won't let anything happen to him." She gave him a small half smile and looked back down, he couldn't promise that, he couldn't be sure of that.

"Goodnight baby." She whispered, leaning down one last time and kissing his forehead. She stood up, leaving the room with Angel and her son. She was desperately fighting the urge to cry. She hadn't been this emotional since she had been pregnant, all those hormones sent her system reeling. This time however, it was different, she didn't have hormones as an excuse, no, this time she just couldn't seem to suppress the feelings that were rapidly rising to the surface, she couldn't control the environment around her.

Angel watched her as she left, his heart aching inside of him. He wanted to assure her that everything was going to be okay but how could he do that when he was struggling with that same problem? He looked down at his son after Buffy had disappeared into her bedroom, presumably to relax in the bathtub, and found himself reaching out and touching the boy's hair. It really was frightening to him how much he looked like him, in all his life, he had never thought that he would have a child that was almost an exact replica. His thoughts traveled, would this be his last child? Would Buffy have more children with him? That is, if he could get her to love him again… Well, no, he knew she loved him, if he could get her to forgive him and give them a third chance… After all, third times the charmed right?

"I hope your mom can forgive me…" He whispered to Liam's sleeping form before he kissed his head, a gesture that surprised even him, but there was something that pulled him to do that, and in the end, he didn't regret it one bit. "Goodnight Lee." He stood up, turning around only as he reached the door to see Liam pull his teddy bear closer to his body, which caused Angel to smile before heading into Buffy's bedroom…

The bath wasn't helping. Usually, the warm water, the dimmed lights, the soft glow of the candles she would light, well usually, it melted the tension right off her petite body. This time however, it wasn't that simple. As she laid there, her body surrounded by the warm water and fluffy bubbles, she couldn't stop the thoughts from flooding her mind. All she wanted was a moment of peace, a moment in which she wasn't weighted down with concerns about what the future was going to bring. She sighed loudly and closed her eyes, leaning her head against the back of the tub, fighting her desire to sink to the bottom and never come back up.

Angel stood there at the door looking at her, well, more like staring at her. Though he couldn't see anything from her shoulders and up, well, and the leg that she had resting on her other knee, he could feel his passion for her begin to stir. Doing his best to suppress his desire to strip his clothes off and join her in the bath, he cleared his throat loudly, watcher her jump as the noise had startled her. She turned her head and looked towards him, but that was the only movement she made, leaving him confused. Should he stay? Go? There was not a hint of embarrassment in her eyes, and he wondered if she was thinking the same thing that he was, that all he wanted to do was seek comfort in her, with her, make all the tension that was building up in his shoulders go away.

"I… Um… I can go." He managed to stutter out, his eyes still locked with hers. A few moments had passed and she still had not said a word to him, only kept her eyes on him, watching as he finally walked over towards the tub and sat down on the toilet seat. He looked at her, realizing that he couldn't read her expression. That frightened him, usually he could read her like an open book, and yet, sitting there, watching her, he had no idea… No idea what was going through her mind, no idea what she was thinking.

"Are you okay?" He finally spoke, ready to hear what she had to say. However, his question elicited no response, only a simple shrug of her shoulders before she looked back down at the bubbles that were beginning to deflate around her body, something that he was all the more aware about, as more and more of her body came into view for him. Her response worried him, causing him to leave his perch on the toilet and kneel down next to the tub, reaching towards her so he could softly press his hand against her cheek. "What's wrong?"

"Is it really worth going into this again? I've told you so many times Angel… I just, I feel so helpless… And emotions… I haven't felt this emotional since I was pregnant with Liam and it's infuriating. I hate that I can't control my emotions, that I find myself crying as much as I do. How can I be strong for Liam when I can barely keep myself together? I just feel so lost and even though you're here, part of me wonders, part of me is scared, that you won't always be here." She said quietly, unwilling to met his eyes. "I know… I've become a pessimist lately but I have a right to it."

"I'm not saying you don't. I just wish you would let me in a little… Tell me what's going on in your mind. It terrifies me that I can't read you like I once could. Then again, maybe that's what you want. And, I don't blame you but we can't work together if you are still angry with me. Not that I don't blame you, what I did was wrong and I fully accept that. But I don't accept the way this is now… Not when there are things above it all. I want to be here, now and forever Buffy… I want you to understand that. I'm not going anywhere."

"You've said that before." She said quietly, looking towards the wall of the tub.

"Yes, I realize my word is shot to hell but I mean it…" He replied but she still would not look at him. Inside she was struggling with her hearts desire to be with him and her minds warning not to rush things. With that combined with Liam's safety, she just was exhausted and she wasn't sure how much longer she could fight her mind… After all, the heart always won when it came to her and Angel.

"I mean it." He said, this time with more emphasis as he reached forward and turned her head so she could look at him. "I mean it…" He repeated softer, leaning closer to her, his lips just inches from her own. He kept his eyes locked with hers, not wanting to make a move unless she let him. The last thing he wanted was for her to lose more trust in him.

"I know…" She whispered, letting his hand move to the back of her head, as he stroked her neck with his thumb. "I know…"

He felt her hand reach up from the water and touch the back of his head, pulling his face towards her. Her lips brushed against hers and he struggled to move closer to her, the tub becoming a huge obstacle as the kiss deepened and became more passionate. When they could no longer hold their breath, they pulled away and she looked down, noticing that the bubbles had all but disappeared. Although he had seen her naked before, numerous times, this wasn't one of those times that she wanted him to. He watched as her cheeks blushed and he looked down and realized why, causing him too to blush, especially as he couldn't tear his eyes away from her, that was, until she smacked him and stood up, wrapping a towel tightly around her body.

He left her in the bathroom and walked to the bedroom, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He had no idea what was going to happen, he just knew that there were things that they had to talk about, things they needed to figure out before they could both move forward with their relationship, at least, that was what he wanted. He wanted more than anything to be there in her life for the rest of his life. It was the way things were suppose to be, them, together forever. He realized how it sounded, in many ways he knew that if anyone heard those thoughts they would consider him obsessed, and well, maybe he was but his heart was in the right place, and although he knew she was confused, he knew that she felt the same way about him. He just needed to give her time to get there.

She came out of the bathroom wearing a very large shirt. Well, it might not have really been that large but on her tiny frame, it looked like she was swimming in it. For a brief moment, he felt his jealously rising deep within him at the sight of the shirt. His mind beginning to wonder whom it belonged to. It was only when she was closer to him that he realized that it was his and he allowed himself to calm down again.

"I know I shouldn't wear it, especially now that you're around… But, I guess I got use to it. I like the way it feels." She said.

"It's okay. It looks good on you." He responded smiling as she walked to the bed and got into it, pulling the covers up over her body as she got comfortable. She looked at him, trying to figure out what he was going to do… He had no idea, did he stay? Should he go sleep on the couch? "With Spike in the guest room… I can sleep on the couch if you want."

"No… You can stay. If Liam has another nightmare I'm sure he'd want you there too." She replied, watching the smile spread across his face.

He pulled his clothes off and slid between the covers, turning to face her. Before he let his mind catch up with his actions, he found himself reaching out towards her, pulling her into him. When she didn't protest he began to realize that maybe they were finally moving forward, that she was starting to forgive him. He leaned down, burying his nose in her hair and smelling the soft lavender scent that seemed to radiate from her.

"I should have told you about Spike…" She finally spoke and he listened. "I guess with everything that was happening, it was the farthest thing from my mind. The last I had heard from him had been two months ago when he was in Brazil… Giles had a tip that someone had scene you down there so he went."

"Are you with him?" Angel asked cautiously.

"Not anymore…" She replied, her voice trailed.

"But you were?"

"What do you want from me?" She questioned, he could hear the exasperation in her voice.

"I want the truth."

"I was with him, yes."

"When?" Angel could feel his body tighten as she spoke. He hated that Spike had been with her before… And then to learn that he had been with her after she had given birth to his son… He wanted to walk into that room and knock him out, quite literally actually. He hated that he was currently under the same roof as the guy who had been after his girl. Well… His girl? True she had told him that she would always be his… But he did leave her… Still that didn't justify Spikes actions. Spike knew, he knew how deeply he cared for her, he knew how much he loved her, that he had always loved her and always would. He knew that he had fathered a child, even though he didn't know at the time, it didn't change it. When Spike slept with Buffy, he was taking her away from him, he was violating his property. That is, if she had been property… She wasn't really, but she was his, she belonged with him and only him…

"Off and on…" Her response was short, she knew what he was searching for from her but she wasn't sure how much she wanted to divulge, she was afraid that if she spoke too freely about it that it would change everything again. She didn't want to push him away again, she wanted him to stay and she was terrified that he would run off if he knew that she had turned to Spike for comfort when he had left. Could he really blame her though?

"You know that's not what I want to hear."

"I know."

"Then tell me."

"Angel…"

"Please… I need to know."

"Why? Why is it so important that you know?"

"Because…"

"Because why?" She questioned, turning her head up to look at him. She could see the jealousy in his face and although she liked it, she liked that he could become so enraged when another man had been with her, although she liked it, she was terrified of the consequences.

"I just need to know…"

She sighed, picking her words carefully, the last thing she wanted to do was enrage him and she knew that it was a very good possibility. "When you left… I don't know I guess I just shut down. And when Spike showed up I was so confused. I mean, only a few days before that I believed that everyone but you had died… Granted I realize I wasn't suppose to know Spike was alive before that… You know I still knew… Regardless of whatever it was he thought. But that's beside the point. The thing is, I guess I just needed comfort, any kind of it because the whole time my heart was breaking… It was broken. So each time he returned from wherever we thought you were, I went to him for comfort. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Do you love him?" He interjected, cutting her off, not really wanting to hear more about their intimacies.

"Not like I love you." She responded. It was the truth. She had never loved anyone in the same way that she loved Angel. No one else had even come close. No one could make her heart stop like him, no one could touch her soul like him, no one could ever make her feel the way that he did… She knew that from experience.

"What does that mean?" He wasn't even sure why he asked it… He knew what she meant. He just needed that comfort, he needed her to put words to it.

She sighed again, she knew what he was playing at and as much as she didn't want to give in… She did. "No one has ever made me feel like you… And I've tried to find it elsewhere. He has always been in my heart Angel… But he never possessed my heart like you did… You do."

He smiled and brought her closer to him, burying his head once again in her hair before kissing her head. This was all he ever wanted, now he just had to make sure he was secure enough to go along with it. He had to put aside his prejudices, his jealousy and move forward. It was all he ever wanted… He was being given his third chance and he knew that if he blew it this time that it wasn't likely that she would ever give him a fourth. No… He had to make sure that this time around was going to be different. That he was going to be different.

"I know how you feel…" He simply stated, his hand rubbing her back softly. It was important to him that he somehow found a way to let her know that he didn't care about what happened between her and Spike… Even if he was lying to himself.

"One other thing…"

He looked down, concerned for a moment. "What?"

"Spike is coming to San Jose… With him fighting with us… We'll be stronger."

"We don't need him."

"Yes we do…"

"I can take care of you both."

"This isn't up for discussion… He's coming with us and it's as simple as that." She felt him tense again. "You know… It's not like I'm giving you the twenty questions about Nina…"

"Buffy…"

"No… You know what… Go sleep on the couch… I don't want to deal with this. I thought that we could get past this rationally and you won't even listen to me… When it all boils down to it all, Liam is my son… I've spent the past four years, raising him alone and I get to make the decisions as to who is coming to San Jose… Not you." She was angry now and he was kicking himself for letting his jealousy get in the way of it all. She had a point, she hadn't even mentioned Nina since their encounter earlier that after noon and here he was, giving her the third degree about her relationship with Spike…

**A/N:**

**Hey guys! Sorry about the delay in getting a new chapter up but I've finally settled into my apartment and had some time to write... I also want to take this time to add that I'm not sure how frequently I'll be updating this semester... I have a lot going on, I have to write my senior thesis, prepare to take the LSAT in december, TAKE the LSAT, and apply for law school for next fall... Meaning I know it's going to be difficult but I promise to try my hardest to get new chapters out ASAP! On another note, for those who are interested and haven't seen it... I've decided to make another story that is related to this one... It's really just going to be a bunch of one shots that are related... It's called Meet You There: The Missing Chapters so let me know what you think! As for this story. I want to continue to thank everyone who is continuing reading and those who are adding this as their favorite story and/or adding an alert! And again, EXTRA thanks to all of you who continue to review my story! A special thanks to those who without fail always leave me some love: SWChica2005, Angelplusbuffyequalsforever, Geeky13, and MagicalTears, you guys rock! Thank you for your support! Anyways, please, everyone, continue to read and send me your thoughts!**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Buffy sat up, her arms crossed against her chest as she glared at him. It had been five minutes since she had asked him to leave and there he sat, not moving. She was furious at him for that, couldn't he understand that she was upset and that he wasn't making it any easier? No, she didn't want him to sleep on the couch, in fact, she had been looking forward to falling asleep in his arms, she hadn't slept so well in such a long time that she was looking forward to waking up rested as she had the previous morning but she knew that giving in right now would throw her credibility straight out the window. At least, first, she needed an apology; she needed him to admit that he was in the wrong, that he had no right to say the things that he had. If she wanted Spike around, that was her prerogative, not his. But it was more than that, she wanted him to understand that she would move this relationship forward at her pace, that just because he came strolling back into her life, into their lives, that he didn't have the upper hand, no that belonged to her, and he couldn't take that away.

He continued to sit there, his hands cradling his forehead as he tried to find the right words to say. He didn't blame her for her anger, she was right. Here he was, giving her the third degree about her relationship with Spike and she hadn't once asked him about Nina. And that was something that she had every right to ask about, especially as Nina had known all along who Buffy was. He closed his eyes.

"_I should go the rest of the way alone." He said, pausing at the docks to turn and face her. If it had been his choice they would have gone together, or they would have not gone at all. He wanted to be there, with her, not traveling to the ends of the earth hiding this thing… And the worst of it all, it was her birthday, their first together, and it would always be marred with this. That above all, he hated the most._

"_Okay…" She responded, he could hear the hurt in her voice, the disappointment that the day had brought. _

"_But I'll be back. I will." He needed to assure her, he needed to somehow make this day even a little bit better. But as she looked up at him he could see the tears pooling in the emerald green eyes that he often found himself swimming in._

"_When? Six months, a year? You don't know how long it's gonna take or if we'll even…" Her voice trailed and he struggled to get her to look at him as she cast her gaze downward. _

"_Hey…" He responded, lifting her chin up softly with his hand, bringing her eyes to meet his own. "If we'll even what?"_

_She moved her chin from his hand, her gaze constantly shifting, "Well, if you haven't noticed, someone pretty much always wants us dead."_

_He could feel his undead heart breaking, "Don't say that. We'll be fine."_

"_We don't know that."_

"_We can't know Buffy. Nobody have. That's just the deal." He stopped and paused, reaching into his coat and pulling out a small bag, she had returned her gaze solely upon him and he tried hard to ignore the tears that were falling down her beautiful face. "I have something for you. For your birthday." He pulled the ring and held it between his fingers. "I… I was gonna give it to you earlier, but…"_

"_It's beautiful." _

"_My people, before I was changed, they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty… and the heart… Well, you know… Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody." He explained to her before bringing his own hand up to his heart to show her his ring. "Like this." He watched as she leaned forward, had he had a beating heart he knew that it would have been racing, as her lips touched it, kissing it softly. " Put it on." A small smile, one meant only for her crossed his face as he slipped the ring on her finger, binding them for the rest of their lives. _

He looked back up, letting his mind come back to reality, and he stole a glance towards her. He had hoped that she would have softened but her fiery personality was in full swing and she continued to glare at him. He started to open his mouth but he backed down as she got out from under the covers and stood by the door.

"Didn't I tell you to leave?" She asked, her arms still crossed tightly.

He stood up and walked over towards her. "Can we just talk?"

"I'm done talking. I'm done fighting. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, and I want to go to bed. Alone."

"You don't mean that…" He said softly reaching down and touching her cheek. He felt her soften under his touch briefly until she pulled herself back together and tightened up again. But he did notice that her first instinct was to melt with his touch, and it was something that he knew he was going to have to use, to exploit against her so that he could ultimately get what he wanted, her.

"I do."

"Buffy…" He started before looking down to the floor.

"What?" She spat, not really interested in his excuses, or at least, that was what she had convinced herself.

"I'm sorry… You're right, I really had no right to act like that. If you want Spike to come with us well then I need to accept that and go along with it. It's not my choice, I don't have the right to that choice." She could tell that he was trying his hardest to say those words, and she knew it wasn't easy for him. "The fact of the matter is, I don't want to lose you again so I'm going to go along with it, to show you that I will stick around…"

This was a side of him that she had never seen before and if she was being honest with herself, she had to admit that it was kind of a turn on for her. Well, the fact that she had been longing to get into his pants since he showed up didn't really help the situation any but she had to stay firm, she had to maintain her distance, otherwise she would lose all credibility and control. Right now, this was the only situation that she actually had even the slightest amount of control over.

She felt his arm snake around her waist again and she could feel herself giving up. Her heart kept telling her to go for it but she knew that she couldn't. Not yet. And it was that thought that caused her to push him away, leaving him standing there, stunned, and if she guessed, embarrassed.

"What?" He thought he had done everything right, that he had done exactly as she wanted.

"I just…" She stuttered, she was longing to move back into his arms but she couldn't, she had to stand her ground. "I think you should sleep downstairs tonight." She closed her eyes tightly, she knew it wasn't what she wanted but she didn't think that she had any other choice at that moment. And she watched as his face fell, obviously disappointed with her suggestion.

"Alright…" He responded, managing to give her a half smile before touching her arm softly. "Goodnight." He walked down the hall and didn't look back to see her staring at his retreating body, a few tears falling down her face as she watched him before making her way back to her bed, pulling the covers up and over her head, just wanting to disappear.

"_I'm sorry. Uh, it's just suddenly there's this chance that my calling's a wrong number, and… It's just freaking me out a little." She sat there on the floor of his mansion, still cradling the book in her hands that he had only a few moments ago handed to her for her birthday. It was a beautiful gift, and she knew that it came from his heart which made it all the more special, she was just far away, with everything that was going on in her life, she couldn't help but be distant, for her mind to be elsewhere, it had nothing at all to do with him, she loved him. _

"_That's understandable." His compassion was overwhelming but part of her couldn't help but worry that he wouldn't love her anymore if she wasn't the slayer, that the connection would no longer exist._

"_Angel, what if I have lost my power?"_

"_You lived a long time without it. You can do it again."_

"_I guess. But what if I can't? I've seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night. Not being able to fight it… What if I just hide under my bed, all scared and helpless? Or what if I just become pathetic? Hanging out at the old Slayer's home, talking people's ears off about my glory days, showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed." _

"_Buffy, you could never be helpless or boring, not even if you tried." _

"_Don't be so sure. Before I was the Slayer, I was… Well, I, I don't wanna say shallow, but… Let's just say a certain person, who will remain nameless, we'll just call her Spordelia, looked like a classical philosopher next to me. Angel, if I'm not the Slayer, what do I do? What do I have to offer? Why would you like me?" She watched as Angel got up._

"_I saw you before you became the Slayer."_

"_What?" She asked, standing up and walking towards him, confused. _

"_I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bight afternoon out in front of you school. You walked down the steps… and… and I loved you." She was standing in front of him now, looking up at him, seeing that he was telling the truth, seeing that he loved her more than anything by the look in his eyes._

"_Why?"_

"'_Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe… to warm it with my own." She had her arms wrapped around him, leaning in closer, ready to kiss him as her heart fluttered in her chest. He was telling her all the things that she ever needed to know._

"_That's beautiful…"_

She woke from her dream with a start. Though she felt a sense of panic as she first sat up, she realized that her waking up had nothing to do with the young boy who was still sound asleep across the hall, no, it had to do with her own conscience. She pulled the covers back and stood up, her feet touching the cool floor, which sent shivers down her spine and goose bumps to appear on her arms and legs. Quietly she walked down the hall and to the landing of the stairs. She couldn't hear any movement from the living room and she figured that he must have fallen asleep already.

As quietly as she could she descended the stairs, being sure she was careful not to step on the areas she knew made loud creaks. She saw his large frame on the couch, his legs over the arm rest as he was too tall to fit completely lengthwise on it. A smile graced her lips as she found herself making a mental note that they should probably get a longer couch at the new house, that way he could lay comfortably, that they could both lay comfortably.

She found herself sitting on the coffee table watching him. He looked so peaceful, so serene and she wondered how he could reach that state in sleep, it seemed that the only way she ever slept that soundly was when she was wrapped up tightly in his arms. She reached forward, her hand stroking his hair softly, she wanted to wake him up, to let him come upstairs, but she felt a little guilty this time as he was sleeping so soundly.

"Did Liam have a nightmare again?" She heard him mumble as his eyes began to twitch open and he struggled to sit up, forgetting that his legs had been draped over the edge of the sofa, which on the first try caused him to fall back down.

"No… He's still sleeping soundly." She said softly, moving her hand from his forehead and back into her lap.

"Are you okay?" He asked concern in his voice as he finally sat up fully, reaching out and touching her leg as his eyes met hers.

"I am…" She responded, her voice trailing as she reached out and touched his face softly. She could feel her heart beating rapidly, but she had been suppressing her desire for him for days now and she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to do that. In a matter of moments she realized that she had leaned forward, her lips brushing against his, as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her from the table and onto his lap. They sat there, in the dark, in their passionate embrace for a few minutes before they both pulled away, panting for the air that they had failed to come up for.

"I'm sorry." She finally said once she had caught her breath.

"I'm sorry too."

"Come sleep with me upstairs?"

"I want nothing more than that." He responded, supporting her bottom as he stood up and carried her up to her bedroom.

**A/N:**

**I know it's short but I figured something was better than nothing! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! And as always, thank you to everyone who continues to read and EXTRA thanks to all you who continue to add this story to their alerts/favorites and to those who leave me feedback! I love knowing what you think! And, as you can see, it makes me want to write a lot faster and since classes start tomorrow... I wanted you to have something in case I don't have time until the weekend! But as always, please continue to let me know what you think!  
**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Spike grumbled as he heard the noise coming from the hall. This wasn't exactly what he had been expecting when he showed up at Buffy's door that night. In fact, he had been hoping to be sleeping in Buffy's room, not in the guest room. He figured that she would be over the bloody poof by now, especially after he left her. Although, maybe that was just his own inner desire, his desire to be the one that she ended up with, even though he knew that she would never love him as much as she loved Angel. Now that he was back, she wouldn't have any need for him anymore. He was losing not only the woman that he loved, but also the only family that he had ever known.

"Could you bloody keep it down out there!" He spoke louder, hearing Buffy giggle, presumably because her big strong, beefcake had been touching her, or something. He shuddered with the thought of Angel's hands on her body. Not that he had the right to be jealous, well, then again maybe he did. For years Buffy just used him… Well, that might be a little harsh, you can't be used unless you want to be… Part of him just always assumed that she would give up on Angel, but love doesn't work like that he guessed, no, even he knew that.

"_You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser."Buffy spoke, mocking him as they walked._

"_Yeah. You're one to talk."_

"_Meaning?" _

"_The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave." _

"_I don't know what you're talking about." Buffy spat at him, although she did know, she knew exactly what he was talking about. _

"_Oh, yea. You're just friends." He replied, rolling his eyes._

"_That's right." Angel emphasized, but he too knew that wasn't the case, and he was beginning to regret the comment knowing that Spike had more to say, that he was going to put them both in their place. _

"_You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends." He stated while pointing to his temple. "Love it's brains, children, it's blood." In a display of the dramatic, he clasped his chest, "Blood screaming inside of you to work its will. I maybe b love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."_

"Sorry Spike!" He heard Buffy giggle in response, breaking him from his train of though and pulling him back into the present that he had no desire to be in. He turned his head to the side and glanced at the clock, two in the morning. He figured that they were beyond the fighting, he had heard that go down already. Though he had been trying to sleep he couldn't help but hear the miserable poof walking down the hall, presumably with his head hung low like a big puppy, tail thrust between his legs. By now, he figured they were on to the shagging, or at least close enough to it that it began to make him uncomfortable thinking about it.

The bedroom door closed shut, and he rolled his eyes as he turned over hoping to get to sleep and hoping that whatever was happening behind that closed door, wasn't going to be loud, and wouldn't keep him awake the rest of the night.

_The Next Morning_

"Hey sleepyhead, are you ever going to wake up?" Angel whispered rubbing her back as she snuggled into him.

"Nope." She responded, kissing his chest softly before looking up at him. "It's your fault I'm so damn tired. What time is it anyway?"

"Ten. Moreover, it's not my fault that you didn't sleep last night. You were the one who kept me awake." He teased her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him as he kissed the top of her head, taking a moment to smell her hair.

"If you hadn't been kissing me all night then I wouldn't have been kissing you back. Don't go blaming this on me." He felt her stretch, but instead of getting out of the bed she only curled up closer to him. "Coffee?"

"Will that make you get up?" He asked, his hand still rubbing her back in small circles.

"Maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I'll get up if you get me coffee…" She responded, pulling herself up on her elbows and looking at him for a brief moment before leaning closer and kissing him. It didn't take long for the kiss to develop into something more than what she had intended and in a few seconds, she found him pulling her on top of him. After a few moments she pulled away, looking down into his confused eyes. "I think you should get me that coffee."

He grumbled and she rolled off of him, laying back down into her pillow, never once taking her eyes off of him. He stood up, and looked down at her, wanting to be back under those covers, holding her, but since she had made the effort the night before, he figured that it was his chance now to make a little bit of an effort.

When he opened the door to the hall he found Liam standing there, an apprehensive look on his face.

"What's wrong Lee?" Angel asked, closing the door behind him as he looked down at his son.

"I wasn't sure if mommy was sleeping and I was hungry but I can't reach the cereal." He said. "And Uncle Spike is still sleeping so I didn't know what to do."

"Well, I can get you breakfast if you want. I was going downstairs anyways." Angel watched the smile form on Liam's face, and in that moment he wanted to reach down and pick him up but he refrained, wanting to be sure that Liam was comfortable with him. It didn't take long for him to know that though because as they made their way down the hall, he felt Liam slip his hand into his own. Angel felt the smile on his face, unable to contain his elation that the boy was warming up do him and as he looked down, he noticed that Liam was biting his lower lip nervously, presumably unsure as to how Angel would react however as he noticed his smile, Liam too smiled up at him.

"What kind of cereal do you want?" Angel asked, as he opened the cupboard and began to riffle though the boxes.

"Fruit Loops?"

He pulled the box out and poured it into two bowls, one for Liam and one for himself. He knew that he had to take the coffee up to Buffy but he thought that the longer it took him to get to her, that she might get the hint and join them downstairs. The two boys had just begun to dig into their bowls when Buffy stumbled down the stairs, still not fully awake, but smelling the coffee that was slowly dripping into the pot.

She couldn't help but smile as she saw the backs of the two men in her life sitting at the breakfast bar. They weren't speaking but she knew that this was monumental, and her heart seemed to burst at the sight. She would be lying if she said that she hadn't seen this exact scene in her dreams. This had been everything that she had ever wanted, 

Angel to be human, and their child… Okay, well she wanted more than one but right now that wasn't an option, right now she needed to be sure that he wouldn't leave the third time around, and with the way things were settling in with Liam, she was beginning to believe that Angel was being honest, that this time he wasn't going to leave them.

"Good morning baby!" She said finally, watching as both the boys turned to face her, their faces both containing a wide smile as she walked over and wrapped Liam up in her arms. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yea." He said briefly through bites of cereal.

"Thanks for the coffee." She smirked at Angel who had wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her there in front of their son and right up against his side.

"You're welcome." He grinned as he felt her lips graze his neck and then watched as she pulled away and walked to the cupboard, standing on her toes to reach one of the coffee mugs.

"What time are we leaving mommy?" Liam asked, pushing his bowl away from him and looking at her as she pouring the brown liquid into the mug.

"I think the plan is to leave around five. Is everything in your room all packed up?" She asked before bringing the mug to her lips and gulping down the hot, caffeine infused beverage.

"Yea. Aunt Willow helped me get my clothes in the suitcase last night."

"By helped do you mean she did it for you?" She asked, smiling at her son who's face had flushed, unable to lie to her. She knew that was something that would change when he got older, he would learn to lie to her, just as she had learned to lie to her own mother.

"How did you get her to do that?"

"Did you really just ask that?" Buffy asked, now moving her gaze to Angel who looked at her confused. "Look at that little guys face? How could you not do his work for him?" Angel laughed and took the two bowls to the sink, stopping briefly to kiss Buffy on the cheek. "Why don't you go upstairs and change and I'll let you watch some television for a bit while I get dressed. Then we'll go to the park and get some of that energy out of you so that you sleep during our long drive."

"Okay…" He said, jumping off the chair and walking slowly up the stairs. He paused for a minute to turn around and watch as his dad, or Angel, he wasn't sure what to call him yet, wrapped his arms around his mom and kissed her. Part of him was happy about this, happy that his father was finally coming back to them, but part of him was afraid. Although he was young, he knew that what his mother told him about Angel wasn't the full truth, otherwise she wouldn't have been so guarded.

Deep down he was just afraid that he would leave again. He could still remember the conversation that he overheard between Uncle Xander and Aunt Willow about Angel, saying how selfish he was, and how they couldn't believe that he would leave her, and how torn up his mother was… It wasn't that he was oblivious to it either. There were times that he had caught his mother looking at the picture that she had of him, crying. Although he still didn't really understand, he knew that Angel had hurt her, and he was worried that it would happen again… But this time, he wouldn't just hurt her, he would hurt him too.

"Liam seems to be warming up to you." Buffy said smiling as she sat down on one of the stools.

"I know… He's so great…" Angel beamed, sitting down next to her, his hand resting on her knee. "He's so smart, and funny… I'm not really sure where he gets that from." He watched as she lifted an eyebrow.

"What's that suppose to mean? Are you calling me dumb and dull?"

"I… Um…"

"I'm just kidding." She replied, resting her head on his shoulder.

"God, haven't you two had enough of each other yet?" Spike moaned walking into the kitchen and seeing his ex lover and ex partner in the kitchen, their hands still all over each other. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration but he still felt uncomfortable. Something about seeing the only girl you ever loved with someone you both admired and couldn't stand together… It would be enough to drive anyone mad.

"Good morning Spike." Buffy smiled, lifting her head and looking at him as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "I had something I wanted to ask you."

"Ask away love."

"I think it would be a good idea if you came with us… I want you to come with us. Liam loves you, he trusts you and so do I and I think that with the three of us, I think that we can get through whatever this thing is." She told him, her eyes locked with his.

"Anything pet… You know how much I care about you and Liam. If you need help, I'd be more than happy to be at your service." He responded, looking towards Angel who had wrinkled his brow, causing him to smile inwardly at the poof's jealousy… 'Some things never change,' he thought to himself before taking another sip of the hot coffee.

**A/N:**

**I know it's not that great of a chapter but I was in serious writers block... Hopefully the next will be a bit better... And I apologize for the length, I know it's not the longest chapter I've ever written but again, I attribute that to the writer's block... As always, thank you to those who are continuing to read and EXTRA thanks to all you wonderful people who are adding this story to their favorites/alerts and leaving me feedback! I love hearing what you have to say! Please continue to send me your thoughts!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Though many miles away, Giles thumbed though the research that lay scattered among the desk in front of him. It seemed that every single thing he found only seemed to lead to a dead end. Nothing was conclusive and he knew that they were running short on time. He glanced momentarily at the clock, eight o'clock, meaning it was noon back in California. He thought about calling Buffy, trying to figure out if there was any news, if there had been any more dreams. But he thought twice about it, hadn't she mentioned that she was moving?

_He picked up the phone, and dialed the familiar number. He called often to check up on them, to make sure that they were safe, sometimes to even talk. He was proud of her, that was something he couldn't deny, life hadn't exactly been kind to her but she was persevering, supporting not only herself, but her son and Dawn as well. That kind of dedication, devotion was scarce in the world, she could have given up, he knew that, but she chose to fight, to be strong. It was those same qualities that made her the slayer that she was and he couldn't help but be thankful that his job had lead him to her. _

"_Hello?" Her voice came through the receiver after a few rings.._

"_Buffy?" He asked, though he knew it was her. _

"_Giles! Have you figured anything out?" There was panic in her voice and he could hear it, it was unlike her usual tone, almost slightly higher in pitch and he realized that things must have gotten worse over the past week, enough to cause her this much worry._

"_I'm afraid not. I have some reason to believe that there is a connection with the Immortal, seeing as your previous history with him as well as Angel's history… It's a possibility. I'm by no means saying that it is him, but I would advise you to keep a lookout for men who work for him." He responded. He waited a few moments for her response however, nothing came, just silence. He figured that she was processing the information, her relationship with the Immortal had been, well, tumultuous at best._

"_Buffy… Buffy?"He asked, giving a few seconds before each time, wondering if she was still on the other line._

"_Oh… Yea, I'll keep a look out." She finally replied._

"_Is there something you aren't telling me?"_

"_Angel's back." She said softly, almost in a whisper._

"_When did this happen?" He knew the concern in his voice. The last thing he wanted to see was her get hurt in the process of keeping her son safe. Angel always did seem to have bad timing… Well, no that wasn't exactly true but he couldn't help but worry that he would leave her behind again. Granted, he knew that Angel loved her, more than loved her, but sometimes that isn't enough, even he knew that. He just hoped that Angel had the sense to be practical, because he knew Buffy wouldn't be. She never was when it came to him. _

"_Two… Three days ago? I don't know really… Things have been a little more eventful around here. I've been having more dreams and Liam has been having more dreams… I'm going to San Jose in a few days. Angel is coming with me. "_

"_Buffy do you really think a relationship is something you should be pursuing right now?" He questioned, cutting her off._

"_I'm not pursuing a relationship Giles… I know that he would do anything to protect me, to protect Liam. It's the right thing to do. If he really is serious about sticking around, I guess this will be the best way to determine that."_

"_Just be careful Buffy…"_

"_I will be. I'll call you when I get there." She said, before they said goodbye and hung their respective phones up._

"That's right… San Jose." He said aloud, but all the while wondering what had prompted this move. Though he knew moving would be a good thing, he had no idea why all of a sudden she had agreed to it. It had been something that he had been telling her to do for a few months ago. Did it come down solely to the reason that Angel was back? She didn't have to worry about him coming back only to find her gone? No, surely she wouldn't have risked the life of her son because of the boy's father. No… Something was wrong, something was off. He just couldn't quite place his finger on it.

He reached for the phone and dialed the familiar number, listening to the rings, waiting for the answer.

"Hello?" The masculine voice rang out, louder than Giles had expected, causing him to pull the receiver far from his ear.

"Xander?"

"What's up G-man?" He asked as he began to pack his things up. He had promised Buffy that he would come with her but the last minute noticed meant that he would drive up there with Willow a few days later.

"I was just calling to check up. Buffy mentioned that she was moving?" He pried, he wasn't sure exactly how to approach the subject, so he figured he would learn what he could by giving as few things away as possible.

"Yea, she's leaving in a few hours with Angel and Spike. Will and I are going to meet them there in a few days. Wasn't this your idea anyways?"

"Of course it was my idea, I've told her many times that she should move, I just don't know what prompted her to finally take my advice. Did Angel convince her?"

"What are you talking about? You told Pike to tell her to get out of town." Xander responded, confused.

Giles thought hard, Pike… "Xander I most certainly have not spoken with anyone by that name. Who is Pike?" He asked before putting it together. "Oh, Pike, from Los Angeles… That's right. I have not spoken to him ever. So how…"

"I knew there was something off about that guy." Xander grumbled. "You don't think?"

"That's exactly what I think." Giles responded, not even needed Xander to finish his question. Whatever was happening was not what Buffy had been expecting, in fact, it was the exact opposite. They needed to get Buffy and Liam out of there, quickly…

_A Little While Later…_

When five o'clock finally rolled around, Buffy meandered over towards her Mercedes; setting down the bag that contained the few cans of Red Bull that she knew she would need if she was going to make the seven hour drive in one piece, on the passenger side of the seat. As she turned around, she watched as Angel and Liam made their way over towards her and she found herself smiling, it had been a perfect day. Well, if you didn't count the whole having to move because someone was after her son part.

She moved to the back seat door, and opened it, checking to make sure that Liam's booster seat was in properly before moving back and letting him get in.

"Did you go to the bathroom?" She questioned just before she leaned over and pushed the metal into the buckle. Though she should have been use to his presence, she could feel Angel behind her, his arm resting on the car door and when she stood back up, she felt one of his arms wrap around her waist as they stood there looking at Liam. Though she was thrilled with the progress that they were making, she couldn't help but be worried that she was moving too fast, that things were moving too fast between the two of them. She felt that her priorities should lay with her son, that before she let herself become involved with Angel, she had to know that whatever it was that was after him, was defeated, once and for all.

"I did." He responded, smiling up at them. He was growing more accustomed to this new sight, the sight of both his mother and his father. Though, he was still unsure as to what he should call him, he wanted desperately to call him dad, daddy… But he was worried, worried that it would make it all the more real, that if he did use those kinds of words that it would scare him off. He also couldn't deny that he hadn't seen his mother happier than she had been in the past few days. She seemed more relaxed, less on edge about the impending danger, though, they wouldn't tell him about it. For being so young, he did know that something was wrong. He knew from his dreams, he knew from his mother's hushed whispers to Aunt Willow and Uncle Xander, even more recently from her talks with Angel and Uncle Spike.

"Okay, I'm just going to run into the house and double check that we have everything. Then we'll be on our way baby." She said smiling, before backing up and closing the door.

Angel smiled as he watched her run towards the house and moved over to the driver's seat. Getting in wasn't exactly the easiest thing in the world, her petite frame meant that the seat was basically as close to the wheel as possible and he heard Liam laugh at him as he struggled to move the seat back and fit into the small car. There was a reason he loved his Plymouth, and a definite reason why he never wanted a small car.

"What are you laughing at Lee?" He asked as he turned around and saw the laughter in his son's eyes.

"Nothing…" He said laughing as Angel turned around and began to tickle the young boy, only causing him to laugh harder.

"All right you two, time to act like big boys." Buffy smiled as she walked up to the driver's side window. Angel stopped and winked at the boy before turning to face her. "I thought you were going to drive your car?"

"No, Spike is." He responded, she could see the devilish gleam in his eyes and she was wondering what that meant exactly, surely he wasn't thinking about sexual things as their son was right there.

"What about the moving truck? I thought he was going to drive that and I know Xand and Will can't make it down there until Saturday…" He leaned forward and kissed her, cutting off her train of thought.

"Pike is driving the truck. That's what you wanted right?" He finally said after he pulled away, triumphing on the fact that she still seemed to be waiting for more, as he observed that she took a few seconds to open her eyes and lean back.

"Wha? Oh… Pike… Sure." She stuttered before walking to the other side of the car, and slipping into the passenger seat.

"Ready?" He asked, turning his head and looking at her as she rested her head against the back of the seat.

"Now or never…" She responded, turning her head and smiling at him before he put the car into reverse and starting their journey North.

**A/N: **

**Hey guys! I know it's a super short chapter but from here on out, or at least, until my schedule lets up... They will probably be about this length... Anyways, Hope you liked the chapter... I've given you some clues as to what might happen next but the story is far from being over... Anyways, hope you are enjoying and like I always do, THANK YOU to everyone who continues to read and extra special thanks to you all who continue to add this story to your alerts/favorite and especially to all you who are continuing to leave me feedback! So, as always, enjoy and please remember to continue sending me your thoughts!**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Buffy fiddled with the CD player in her car as Angel turned onto interstate 5, not really sure what she wanted to listen to but knowing that anything was better than the silence that had filled the car. Liam was sleeping in the back seat, which made her thankful that they had tuckered him out, the last thing that she needed was an overactive child on a seven-hour drive.

"You could be my white knight, And I could be your fairy tale, And you could come and save me, But that is not the end." She sang quietly along to the song that she had finally settled on, somewhat, but not fully, aware of the lyrics and their meaning in her current situation. "I will wear a white dress, You will paint a sunset, Life will be a love fest, That's how it all begins, Say say, oh playmate, Come out and play with me…"

She felt her cheeks redden as she noticed Angel had turned his gaze upon her for a moment, and in that instant she stopped singing and cast her eyes out onto the road.

"You didn't have to stop." He said quietly, realizing that his actions may have made her uncomfortable. He had meant quite the opposite, in fact, there had been something soothing about her voice, something that took the edge off of his tension, the tension that had been building since he had learned of Liam. Although, it was beyond that, it was the look on her face, the sheer contentment, as though she had pushed aside everything that he knew had been plaguing her and was just living in the moment. He wished that he could do the same, that he too could just clear his mind, even if only for a moment.

She didn't respond, only just kept her eyes focused out the window, and since he couldn't see her face, he had no idea what was going through her mind, something that he hated. He hated knowing that he had pulled her from her content moment and back into reality. It seemed that he was good at that, hurting her, making her feel pain when she didn't have to and he hated that. Very inaudibly he whispered his apology as he took one hand off the wheel and reached across the seat and touched her shoulder, causing her to jump slightly and turn her gaze to the front windshield.

"What are you thinking about?" He finally questioned. He had his suspicions, her fear about what might happen to Liam, her concern about their unsteady relationship, her apprehension about what the future was going to bring. He just hoped that it wasn't out of regret for the previous night.

"Nothing really…" She responded, leaning her head back against the head rest and closing her eyes. "I think I'm just tired."

"Close your eyes… Get some rest, you don't need to stay awake." He said softly, reaching towards her face and stroking her cheek lightly, watching the small smile break across her face.

"Then who will keep you awake?" She asked, turning to look at him through one eye. He looked so focused, and in some senses, somewhat hard. His brow was furrowed as it usually was when he was in his 'brooding' state. She wasn't really even sure what he had to brood about, had they not had a pleasant night together? Had she not agreed to let him come? Then again, she figured it had a lot to do with the changes that were happening in his life, she had five years to make adjustments, he was only just having to make them. She imagined that it wasn't an easy task and she also knew that moving north meant a closer proximity to Connor, someone she knew he hadn't heard from in five years.

"I've got Barry…" He said chuckling slightly as he reached down between the seat and console and pulled up a few of the CD's he had taken from the Plymouth, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to drive for seven hours listening to her angst ridden folk, rock music.

He heard her laugh softly which only caused him to smile more, not realizing that she was still looking at him. "I've missed that." She whispered, but he could still hear her.

"Missed what? Barry?" He asked somewhat perplexed, they had listened to Barry together before, mainly because he was trying to defend his choice of music but she never took much interest in it and he couldn't figure out why she would possibly miss it. He took his eyes off the road for a moment before turning to let his dark ones meet her light, expressive ones, the ones that he often found himself swimming in.

"Your smile… You have no idea what it feels like to bask in your smile." She said quietly not once taking her eyes from his own, giving him a small half smile, watching as he smiled back at her.

"What's it feel like?" He questioned, briefly returning his gaze to the road to make sure he was still going straight, the last thing he wanted was a car accident, that would have put a kink in his whole, 'I'm here to protect you and Liam vow.'

"It's hard to explain really. It's just something so rare to see, and when you do, it's like it's only for me. There is a love in that smile that so many people will never in their lifetime ever experience." She responded softly. "It's like being wrapped in a warm blanket…"

He didn't respond. How could one respond to something like that? Thank you? He desperately wanted to tell her that he loved her but he knew that that would be rushing into things, granted he did love her, he never stopped. It just wasn't the right time, he knew she needed more time than that and he was willing to wait. Deep down, he knew she knew, and in the end, really, that was all that mattered.

_Back in San Diego_

Xander was doing all he could to get in touch with Buffy. He began to worry as he couldn't seem to get a hold of her, he had tried multiple times to call the house line, only to find the message machine had picked it up. He sighed and tried her cell phone but that too provided no conclusive results. Each time he dialed the familiar number he found the call going straight her to voice mail.

He gave up after a little while and walked out of his apartment, leaving his things still a mess throughout his space, packing wasn't his priority right now, right now he had to get to her and let he know what was happening. He had to let her know that there was a possibility that she was in grave danger. He jumped into his car and sped down the street, hoping that he would get there before it was too late…

_Meanwhile…_

"Mommy…" Liam said, his voice still sleepy.

"What's wrong baby?" She asked, turning around in her seat so she could face him.

"I have to go potty…" He responded as she smiled at him and turned back towards the road, glancing briefly at the road signs. Night was quickly falling and he had been sleeping for three hours, it was probably a good time to take a break anyways.

"I think there is a rest stop a few miles ahead." Angel spoke, as though reading her mind. "We can let him use the bathroom and maybe grab a bite to eat before making the final haul there. "How does that sound Lee?"

"That sounds good." He responded, rubbing his eyes before looking out at the window.

"I made hotel reservations because there is no way we are going to get the bed put together at two in the morning. They are expecting us there late so we can take our time." Buffy interjected, feeling her stomach rumble. She hadn't even noticed that she was hungry, in fact, she was certain that if Angel hadn't said anything, she could have gone the whole night without eating.

"Okay." He replied, reaching over and placing his hand atop of hers, allowing his thumb to stroke the top of her hand. Her skin was soft and with each stroke, he felt something stir deep within himself, he wanted her, he wanted to take her, make her his again, but he knew that it wasn't the right time. He found himself sighing softly, his eyes glancing towards the rearview mirror at his son who was sitting quietly in the back.

"Are you okay?" She asked, noting his restlessness.

"I'm fine."

"If you want me to drive I'm perfectly capable. There isn't any reason why you should have to drive the whole way. Besides I've gotten some rest, maybe you should have some too."

"I'm okay, really." He said, looking at her for a moment, giving her a small smile, and then pulling off the freeway towards the rest stop.

_Back in San Diego_

Xander parked in the driveway, realizing that he was too late. The Mercedes, Plymouth, and moving truck were gone, and the house was dark. He found himself scowling as he put the key into the front door and opened it. Everything was gone, everything was packed up and he had gotten there too late.

He was angry, angry with Buffy for not answering her phone. She had no idea that she was traveling with the person who was going to hurt her, who was going to take Liam away and do God knew what with him. But he wasn't just angry with her, he was angry with himself as well. He should have trusted his gut more, he should have pushed the issue with Buffy instead of absentmindedly just letting her get her way. He should have been more adamant. He found that he was also angry with Angel. For someone who cared so much about her, why had he not been more vocal about his feelings towards the punk? Then again, Xander also realized that Buffy would have merely dismissed him, accused him of being jealous…

He usually trusted Buffy's intuition and he was surprised that she hadn't picked up on it, then again, why wouldn't she have trusted him? They had, after all, been friends a long time ago. It was Pike who had helped her back in Los Angeles, before she had moved to Sunnydale. He knew that if he had been her, he too would not have suspected Pike.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He realized that it would be late in Scotland, but he knew he had to tell Giles… He had to tell him that he got there too late. His only option now, would be to inform Willow, grab their things, hit the road, and hope that they got there in time.

_Meanwhile…_

"Have you told her?" The voice spoke into the receiver and Pike listened as he kept his eyes on the road, following the black Mercedes down the freeway. Night had taken over, and the sky around him was now black, the phone was a distraction, and he realized that but he also knew that the call was important.

"No." He responded, frustrated. It shouldn't have been this difficult, it shouldn't have been like this, he never should have let it come to this. Why hadn't he been able to tell her when he first came to her?

"Time is running out."

"I know." He replied, irritated. He knew what he had to do, he knew that the longer he waited the more in danger she became, Liam became…

**A/N:**

**Dun Dun Dun... Okay, yes, I know cliff hanger... Who was Pike talking on the phone with? Is Pike really evil after all? Guess you'll have to wait and see! Hopefully it won't be too long before I get another update to you all, Thursdays right now are super chill for me since I'm out of class at 11am but that might change when/if I find a job... But hopefully I'll have some time this weekend to get you all a new chapter! Anyways, thank you to everyone who is continuing to read! Without an audience there would be no story! And I want to continue to send my thanks to everyone who is adding this story to their favorites/alerts and faithfully leaving me feedback. I've received some criticism, and I'm trying to figure out how exactly I can make that change because I want to give you all a story that you love to read! Please continue to send your comments/criticisms my way! I love to hear from you! Not to mention it makes me much more motivated to bust out more chapters!**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Willow stood in the middle of her bedroom, her clothes scattered across the bed, a few in a heap on the floor, trying to figure out how on earth she was going to get this all packed and ready to go before the weekend. She already had all her suitcases filled and no matter how hard she tried, there wasn't any other way to fit anything else in there. In her mind she was wondering where she had accumulated so much but she also realized that it had been years since she had moved and even longer since she had gotten rid of the old clothes.

After learning that Buffy had planned to move, she had put in her notice at work. She knew that she couldn't stay around San Diego when there were problems with her friends, she knew that she had to go with her, to be there and support her though this time. Though her office hadn't been happy with how little time she had given them, they understood as soon as she told them that it was an emergency, she really didn't have any other option and she knew that they had to get out of there as soon as possible. She was just happy that they had offered to give her the job back if she ever did come back to San Diego, though, it didn't seem that she ever would. It was that thought that made her think twice about packing up everything, maybe leaving behind some of all this stuff would be a good thought, it's not like she didn't have the money to replace it. Not to mention, who knew how long they would be in Northern California before heading off to another location.

"WILLOW!" She heard Xanders distinct voice call out, breaking her train of thought and bringing her back into the present.

"In the bedroom!" She call back, grabbing some of the large, black garbage bags that were sitting at the edge of the bed and began stuffing the clothes that covered her bed into them. At least she wouldn't have to search for the things that she wore on an everyday basis, all that had been packed neatly in the suitcases.

"We need to go. NOW!" Xander said, breathless as he ran into her room.

"What? What do you mean? They just left today, we said that we would get there this weekend. Xander… Seriously, Angel's there, Spike's there… They'll be fine." She responded, glancing at him and giving him an annoyed look. She knew that he was anxious to get there, that he was concerned about Buffy and Liam's wellbeing but he was taking it beyond normal boundaries.

"No Will… Pike isn't who we think he is. I got off the phone with Giles and Giles said that he had never once spoken to him. He's lying. That damn son of a bitch is lying. I knew… I knew that there was something wrong with him but she wouldn't listen to me."

"Did you call her phone?" Willow responded, her mouth still agape with surprise. Though she knew that both Xander and Angel had both been uncomfortable with Pike, she had been on Buffy's side, thinking that the two men were merely jealous. Had she for one moment had a feeling that Pike was dangerous, she would have said something, but never, not once had she ever gotten the vibe that he was bad news.

"She isn't answering. It's turned off." He replied, pacing back and forth. "I don't know where she got the idea that turning it off was a good plan. I don't know where her head has been lately… No, I take that back, I know exactly where her head has been. If Angel had never shown up, she would have picked up on this and this whole situation would have been avoided."

"Xander…" Willow said cautiously, she knew better, she knew that although Angel had shown up, that Buffy was still very much had her guard up, she was aware of the consequences, both of letting him into her life and letting him take over her thoughts.

"Come on Will, you know it's true! As soon as dead boy shows up, she's mush. She doesn't think straight! All she thinks about his him! He's like poison, a toxic poison that destroys everything around him…"

"XANDER, stop that! Okay, you know that I love you but you really need to cut them both some slack. First off, you know as well as I do that Buffy isn't taking his return lightly, you know that she is being cautious for Liam's sake. You know as well as I do that things would have progressed much further by now if Liam wasn't there… What reason would she have had to not trust Pike? He was always there for her… Seriously… I know that you don't like Angel but he came back… I'll see what I can do but the soonest we can leave is tomorrow… I'll try and get in touch with her. Just… Calm down, and go finish packing. We'll leave here tomorrow morning." She said, before pushing him out the door, listening to his grumbles. He knew she was right, he just didn't want to accept it.

_Meanwhile…_

"How is your dinner baby?" Buffy asked while running her fingers though his hair and planting a kiss on the top of his head.

"Good." He said though bites. She hadn't seen him eat that quickly in a long time.

"Slow down baby. You're going to choke." She responded smiling down at him before returning to her own plate. She could feel Angel's eyes on her but she chose not to look up. The car ride had been somewhat awkward, and she couldn't believe that she had said the things that she had said to him, it was almost as though someone had taken over her mind, her mouth, and the things that she had been holding inside just flowed right out. She was only thankful that she fell asleep before she had any more opportunities to say things that she wasn't ready to.

Like for example, she had been struggling with her mind about telling him how happy she was that he was back. She was struggling with telling him that she loved him… Then again, she came pretty close to it when she was telling him that she felt all warm and cuddly when he smiled at her. Even thinking about it she could feel herself blushing, and because of that, she did all that she could to push the thought as far as she could from her mind. Right now, she just wanted to get to San Jose, crawl into bed, and fall asleep.

"Spike how are you doing? Do you need me to take over the wheel for a bit?" Buffy spoke again, looking towards him as he looked up, his eyes meeting her own.

"No I'm okay. I got enough sleep last night, after the noise went down." She watched him smirk and her cheeks reddened again. Angel shot him a glance but Spike hadn't noticed as his head was facing downward again as he continued to eat.

The table was quiet again and she wasn't sure why but for some reason that made her uncomfortable. She was going over everything in her head, thinking about what they were thinking about her, if they were judging her… She wasn't sure where these insecurities stemmed from, she had never felt this way before… Well, it had been a long time since she had felt this way. She turned her head and noticed that Liam had pushed his plate away slightly and was now leaning against her in the booth. It was late for him and she realized how tired he was, which, in itself was a blessing because there was still four more hours of driving ahead of them. The ride would be so much more pleasant with him asleep in the backseat. She put her fork down and wrapped her arm around his tiny frame, rubbing his back softly, as he snuggled in closer to her.

Angel looked at her, watching her as she rubbed Liam's back and placed a few odd kisses on his head. He could feel something deep within him stir, the protectiveness that he always felt when he saw them interact, the anger with himself for leaving, for missing the years that he had. He saw her hand on the table and reached across the table and took her hand into his much larger one, giving her a small smile as she looked up at him. He wanted to kiss her, to warp his arms around her and hold her but he knew that it wasn't the right place for it. Maybe he could fall asleep with her in his arms like he had the night before, that right now, was the only thing that he could hope for.

Pike continued to sit there, playing with the food on his plate, wondering when he should tell her the news that he had been hiding for the week that he had been back. In his concern to get her out of Sunnydale he had lied, and he knew that it was only a matter of moments, maybe days before she learned the truth. He had been warned about this, had been told to tell her the truth from the beginning but he didn't know how, he didn't know the extent of the relationship, he didn't know how much his news would tear her apart, knowing that everything could have easily been avoided and this situation never would have happened.

He watched as she reached into her purse and pulled her cell phone out, flipping it open and turning it on. Her eyes widened as she noticed that she had ten new voicemails, all from Xander, and she quickly dialed the number to get the messages. Pressing the phone to her ear she listened, her eyes darting from Angel to Pike. Angel locked eyes with her, noticing her concern, the panic that had come over her and he stood up and walked to the other side of the booth, scooting in next to her and wrapping his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into him.

"What's wrong?" He asked finally as she closed the phone. She seemed at a loss for words, just sitting there her mouth agape. "Buffy, what's wrong?"

She turned to face Pike and he looked back at her, and immediately she saw the quilt wash across his face, Spike just sat there, confused, unsure as to what he had just missed but realized that something was terribly wrong. "Pike? Is there something that you want to tell me?" She pulled Liam closer to her and Angel, if Xander's conclusion that Pike was trying to harm Liam was correct, at least she could put up more of a fight with Angel and her that close to the young, now sleeping boy.

He put the fork in his hand down on the plate and looked at her, taking a deep breath and sighing. "Buffy, it's not what you think…"

"You have no idea what I'm thinking."

"No, I think you do… I wanted to tell you but I knew that if I did, you would never believe me, and you wouldn't listen to me…"

**A/N:**

**I know it's short! I'm sorry it seems that all I have time to write now are short chapters. I wanted to give you all something to read though and that meant busting out something as quickly as I could! Anyways, I hope that you liked it. Some issues will be resolved in the next chapter but it's still not going to be over... Besides, I couldn't leave the story with unresolved Buffy/Angel issues... They will get together as soon as Liam is safe, I can tell you that much for sure, maybe even with a nice little twist to get a sequel going for this story! Anyways, thank you to the readers who are reading! And EXTRA thanks to all you who are adding this story to your alerts/favorites and leaving feedback! Please leave some reviews for another chapter! I find that the more that I get, the quicker I update! **


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty- Four

He sat there, his eyes focused on hers, searching deep within himself for the words that he needed. He could feel the stare that Angel was throwing his way, the daggers that would have been flying at him as he began to believe that he was there to hurt Buffy and Liam. He knew better, he knew that even if he was there for that, with Angel around, with Spike around, there was no way that he ever would have been able to do that. Not that the thought had ever crossed his mind, how could he harm someone who he loved?

Yes, that's right, he finally had to admit it to himself. Even after all the years that had passed between them, he still did care deeply for her. He hated that he would never have the chance and he wondered if he had never made her leave Las Vegas, if she had never met Angel, if they would have had a solid chance at making a relationship work between the two of them. He pushed the thought from his mind, it wasn't the time, nor the place to contemplate his failed relationship with the slayer, no, right now he had to defend himself against false, but plausible accusations that were facing him.

He thought back to his first conversation with the little man who had told him that he had to go to Buffy, and somehow he had to relay that to her, to make her understand.

"A few months ago I was in New York when I was visited by someone. You would assume my surprise when he said that he knew the both of you." He finally spoke, looking first to Buffy and then to Angel. "In fact, he told me that he was the one who came to you in the first place to help our slayer here."

A moment of recognition passed over Angel's face and his eyes widened slightly, but kept his mouth shut, he didn't want to give something away incase Pike was flying by the seat of his pants.

"That's beside the point, Whistler said that he had been given a message and it needed be to delivered."

"So why didn't he come himself? He knows me." Angel finally gave in, as soon as Pike had mentioned the name, he knew that he couldn't have been making it up. Only a handful of people he knew, knew about Whistler and his role in getting Angel to come to Los Angeles in the first place to help Buffy.

"He said that he couldn't. But you have to let me finish the story…" He said, watching as Buffy reached up and placed her hand over Angel's mouth to keep him from talking. She had to hear the whole story before she could make any decisions. "We all know what happened to the Master, as well as to the anointed one." He cast his gaze to Spike who had a smirk on his face. Pike assumed it was because he was recalling the moment that he killed the evil spawn. "The thing is, he sired more than just Darla and Luke."

"Impossible. I knew him." Angel interrupted, causing the table to quiet and stare at him, he had interrupted again.

"As I was saying. They believe that he did it because he was concerned about what the possible outcome of his battle with the slayer would be. Darla had already been killed, Angelus was ensouled and in love with his foe. He had to do something to keep the bloodline going, just in case. So, before he was bound in Sunnydale, he sired one last childe. We have reason to believe that his childe is now seeking revenge on the slayer and the vampire that betrayed the order."

"But what does that have to do with Liam? Liam has nothing to do with this!" She said, maybe a little louder than she should have.

"He does…" Pike said softly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a piece of paper. "Whistler told me this, I actually can't really even read it as it's in Latin, but he said that it was about the son, born of the slayer and the warrior, he then named you both." Pike played with the paper in his hands before setting it down on the table, watching as Angel reached for it, and held it between his hands.

"A parvulus vadum exsisto prognatus of trucido quod valde proeliator, iam in humanus vultus. Parvulus mos have valde vox, superstes in a versus of bonus quod malum. Suus vires vero, si phaleratus pro malum mos resumo Ordo of Aurelius, evinco utriusque matris quod socer processus." Angel read aloud, before translating it. "A child shall be born of the slayer and great warrior, now in human form. The child will have insurmountable powers, standing on a line of good and evil. His strength however, if harnessed for evil will renew the Order of Aurelius, defeating both mother and father in the process."

"When did you get this?" Buffy questioned her hand absentmindedly stroking her son's hair, her mind a mess with thoughts. She knew her son was special, she knew that he was different than other four year olds but she never thought that he would have ever been in this kind of danger. She thought the Master was gone, that everyone tied to him was gone, that it was an evil she would never have to face again. Now, it seemed that his bastard childe was after her and Angel.

"Probably about three months ago." He responded. "Listen, I know that you have every right to be angry with me, but Whistler called and said that this guy was in town, that he knew where you both were and they were just waiting to make their move. I figured that it would take longer to tell you everything and I just wanted to get you all out of here, to buy more time so that we could figure out just who it is that the Master sired, that way you can go into a battle prepared. Maybe even send Liam away for a while if you have to just to be sure that he is safe."

"Pike… I'm not angry I just…" She said, hanging her head. She felt Angel's arm wrap around her tighter as he pulled her closer to him. "I just wasn't expecting that I guess."

The table was silent again but it was broken as her phone rang. She was not in the mood to answer it and Angel could tell, causing him to pick it up and look at the screen. Willow's name was lit up, and he answered it.

"Oh thank GOD! Someone!" She cried into the phone.

"What's wrong?" He asked, forgetting for a moment that it had been Willow who had called Buffy to warn her about Pike.

"Get away from Pike!"

"Willow, it's okay. Everything's been explained."

"So he's not all evil?"

"No. In fact, my presumptions were wrong as well. But thank you, for the heads up."

"You're welcome. Xander and I are leaving tomorrow… We'll see you guys there. I'll make sure to tell Xand what's up. He's been bugging."

"We'll see you soon," he replied, closing the phone and placing it back down on the table. He noticed that in the middle of the talk the waitress had dropped the check by and he reached for it, glancing at the bill and then reached into his wallet and pulled the crisp green bills out and placed them in the folder. "We should probably get going. We still have a few more hours to go."

Buffy nodded, and felt Angel pull away. Carefully, as to not wake Liam, she slipped out of the booth and was about to lean down and pick him up but Angel stopped her, gently nudging her to the side. "I'll get him." She smiled at him and began to walk to the car, the extra set of keys in her hand as she turned and looked over her shoulder, watching as Angel nudged the boy awake slightly, enough to get him to sit up so that he could pick him up. It only took a few moments and Liam was in Angel's arms, the boys tiny arms wrapped around his neck, his head resting on his shoulder, his eyes firmly closed.

_Four hours later…_

They pulled into the hotel parking, a little after midnight, having made the final haul in less than four hours. Angel had been tired and all he wanted to do was fall into a bed, wrap his arms around Buffy and fall asleep before having to unpack everything. Thankfully the place where the hotel was, was the same place as where the apartments that she had rented were located.

Even at night he could tell that it was upscale and he wondered how she had been able to afford it, although he knew that she was doing well, he didn't know she was doing quite that well. But, he pushed the thought from his mind as he drove up to the valet, handed him the keys and watched as Buffy started to open the back door.

"You're tired, I'll get him." He responded. He was actually starting to make excuses for being near Liam. There was something that he loved about being close to the kid. She smiled and obliged and watched as the doorman helped by unloading the few small suitcases from the trunk. Angel reached into the car and unhooked the seat, waking the boy up slightly and picking him up. Just as it had been when they left the restaurant, Liam wrapped his arms around Angel's neck, causing him to smile. He couldn't explain the feeling that holding his son gave him, it was different than anything he had ever felt before. Sure he had been so proud of Connor, had loved Conner upon his birth but this was different. This was child that he never thought he would have the chance to have; this was a child that he had with the only woman that he had ever loved. A child born of love, of passion, of intense desire.

It was only a few minutes later that Spike and Pike had pulled up behind them. And they followed the lead, giving the keys to the valet, grabbed their small overnight bags and followed the family into the front desk.

"Good evening miss."

"Hi. Summers." She smiled sleepily, at the receptionist. She watched as he entered the name into the computer.

"Two rooms? One night?" He asked, verifying the information. She heard Spike groan, knowing that that two rooms meant that he would be sharing one with Pike.

"That's right."

"Are you sure you don't need more than one night?" He asked, his eyes on her, looking at her as though he had never seen a woman that beautiful before. Angel noticed the look of lust in the young man's eyes and moved right up against her, wrapping his only free arm around her waist and shifting Liam to his other hip so he could kiss the crown of her head, stating his possession of her.

"No tomorrow we are moving into the apartments here." She said, trying hard to contain the smile that was slowly creeping onto her face, she realized what was happening, she could feel the tight grip that Angel had on her waist.

"Right then." He responded, and looked away, noting the other man's dominance. "Rooms, 510 and 512. Your luggage will be brought up to you in a few moments. Have a good night."

"Thank you!" She responded, and walked to the elevators, the five of them fitting comfortably in it as she pressed the button and watched as the door closed, and it began to move upwards.

_A Few Moments Later_

Buffy opened the door after saying goodnight to both Spike and Pike, agreeing that they would meet down in the lobby at eleven and head over to the apartment leasing office to gather the keys and have a walk though of the two apartments that she had rented; who would be living where would be something they would discuss later. She smiled as she looked around, the room was gorgeous and she noticed that they must have been upgrades as this room had a balcony and she had not asked for one that did.

Angel walked in behind her and carried Liam over to one of the two beds, and laid him down before walking over to her. She had made her way onto the balcony and was looking over the Row, the soft lights that lit the tree, casting a gentle glow over her. When he was close enough, he moved up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her backside flush against him.

She rested her head against his chest and felt his lips against her neck, his warm breath sending chills down her spine, causing her to let out a soft whimper. She whimpered again as she felt his lips leave her neck, all she wanted was for him to continue his pursuit of her body but she knew he had stopped because he wanted to make sure that it was something she wanted, and even though it was, she just wasn't sure that it was the right time.

"This place is beautiful." She whispered. It was, it was something out of a dream. It was the kind of place that she would have liked to have been alone with him. However, that wasn't an option and she knew it. She turned her body towards him and allowed herself to snuggle against his chest, her arms wrapping around his waist. There had been days that she had thought she could have lived without this but standing there, with him, holding him in her arms, being held in his arms, she wasn't sure how she ever thought she could. There was something about it, and she knew that she couldn't live without him. She had gone so many years, and she knew that it would kill her if he ever left her again.

"Come on… Let's get you to bed." He said before leaning down and dropping a kiss on her forehead.

He untangled himself from her grasp and walked into the room just as a soft knock came from the door. He pulled a few bills from his wallet and opened it, handing the bell hop the bills and taking the bags. Buffy quickly pulled out a change of clothes for Liam and changed him before watching Angel pick him up so she could turn down the bed and place in him there comfortably.

"Where are we mommy?" He questioned, his eyes gazed over.

"We're at the hotel. We just wanted to put you in the bed. I'm sorry for waking you up." She responded as she pulled the covers over him.

"S'okay…" He responded, his eyes shutting once again as she kissed his forehead and watched as he drifted quickly back off to sleep.

She grabbed some things from her suitcase and walked to the bathroom to change. When she came out she found that Angel had already gotten into the bed and was laying on his back, his eyes staring at the ceiling, as though he was afraid it might collapse. She smiled briefly, happy to know that she would be sleeping in his arms again because the past few nights had been the best sleep that she had had in five years. She padded quietly across the floor and pulled the covers up, slipping between the sheets, before moving as close to him as she could.

"Thank you for coming back… Thank you for being here." She whispered, feeling his arms wrap around her as he pulled her close, her head resting on the nook in his chest. For some reason she felt overly emotional and she tried hard to blink away the tears that were forming in her eyes but in the process, one slipped and fell onto his chest.

"Don't cry love…" He whispered back, his hand softly rubbing her back. "Please don't cry…" He could feel her ragged breathing and he felt somewhat helpless. He didn't know if the tears were the product of his presence, or if it was from the news that Pike had finally confessed. However, he thought it best not to ask and instead pulled her closer to him, reaching down with one hand to pull her face towards his and kiss her, hoping that his kiss could sooth her tears and send her off to a peaceful sleep.

He felt her pull herself closer to him, her leg tangling itself between his own and he broke away. He could feel himself becoming aroused and as much as he wanted her, as much as he wanted to take her right then and there, Liam was in the same room, and he didn't want her to regret the act. When he was able to make her his again, he wanted her to do it because she wanted to, not because she was seeking the closeness and comfort because she was upset.

"Go to sleep love…" He whispered, kissing her head one last time as he felt her breathing change and sleep take over.

**A/N:**

**I know it's probably not the best chapter of the story but I wanted to get you all something before the week started as I'm not sure how much time I'm really going to have! Like I said, I think I tied up some loose ends that might have made you all confused... So I hope that this chapter served that purpose, at least we know who is after Liam, kind of... Anyways, I wanted to continue to thank everyone who reads because as I've said, there would not be a story without the readers! I'd also like to continue to extend my deepest gratitude to everyone who continues to add this story to their favorites/alerts and especially to all you who take the time to leave your comments! Your reviews really make me want to get chapters out faster so please continue to send them my way and I'll continue to give you updates! **


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Liam awoke with a start; his body sitting straight up in bed, his mouth wide open as if he was trying to scream but no sound was coming out. His body was covered in a cold sweat and as he looked around the room, he couldn't place himself. Moving his hand to his side he leaned on it and saw the other bed only a few feet away and there slept his mother and father. It was that moment that he felt relief flood through his body. Though he couldn't remember the dream, he felt safer knowing that they were just right there, not down the hall.

As quickly as he could he slipped from the sheets and slid onto the floor. Angel's sleeping body was the closest, but just as he was about to nudge him awake and call his name out, that his mother was wrapped up tightly in his arms, and if he was going to shake him awake he would have to get into the bed so he could reach. He wasn't sure why he was choosing to wake Angel instead of his mom, usually it would have been Buffy that he would have turned to but with his father's return, he wanted to see how he would react. He wanted to savor every moment that he could possibly have with him.

Angel felt the bed move and tightened his grip around Buffy, afraid that she was trying to pull away. He wasn't going to let her get away that easily though. Now that she was there in his arms, it was exactly where he wanted to keep her. The smile crept onto his face as he felt her press herself closer to him, and he knew that this was everything that he would ever need. However, he noticed that the bed was still moving but she was laying there.

Loosening his grip on her and sliding his arm out from under her as carefully as he could, he turned to his side to see Liam sitting there, a somewhat scared look on his face, his eyes brimming with tears. Buffy stirred from underneath him as she tried to snuggle closer to the body that was now half sitting and half laying, murmuring something under hear breath that he couldn't seem to make out. He managed to pull himself from Buffy's grasp and sit straight up in the bed, watching as Liam inched closer to him.

"What's wrong Lee?" He asked, using the nickname that he had begun to call his son.

"I had a bad dream…" He spoke softly, watching as Angel reached out to him, presumably to cradle the boy in his arms. But Liam just sat there, unsure as to what to do. He wanted to go, wanted to throw himself in his father's arms, but still, he was unsure. Angel could see the apprehension in his eyes and it stung slightly, all he wanted to do was comfort him, to hold him in his arms and protect him.

"What was it about?" He questioned. He remembered Buffy telling him that Liam often dreamt about the men that were after him and he was hoping that maybe he had caught a glimpse of the Master's childe. If he could tell them what he looked like, they would be a giant step ahead of where they were now. The sooner they caught him, he knew, the sooner that he could convince Buffy to be with him, for them to be the family that they always should have been had he not been such a fool.

Liam shrugged, and a few tears seemed to escape his eyes. "I don member." Angel reached forward and brushed the tears off Liam's face and before he knew what was happening the boy had buried himself into Angel's chest.

"Shh… It will be okay." Angel whispered, rubbing Liam's back as he closed his arms around him. He could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Holding Liam was so odd and yet it felt right. It was different than holding Buffy but his heart still swelling the way it did when it was her in his arms. With Liam, it was about pure protection, about protecting his off spring and doing whatever it took to keep him safe. "It will be okay… I promise I'll never let anything happen to you or mommy. I'll never leave you guys ever again."

Liam pulled away slightly, just enough so he could look at him. "Pomise?" He sniffled, wiping a few of the tears off his cheeks.

"I promise." Angel said, pulling the boy back into his arms. "Do you want to sleep with us?" Liam nodded against his chest and Angel reached over and gently nudged Buffy, watching as she groggily opened her eyes, attempting to sit up in the process.

"What's wrong?" She croaked, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"Lee had a bad dream so he's going to sleep here with us." Angel replied, his free hand reaching forward, pushing the blonde hair that was covering her beautiful face. She smiled slightly, moved over in the bed and laid back down, feeling Liam's body as he crawled under the covers. Angel laid down as well and felt Liam snuggle against him. He hadn't been expecting that, when he offered to let the boy sleep with them, he figured it was because he wanted to be closer to Buffy. He was pulled from his thoughts when he felt Buffy's hand on his waist, and turning his head, he saw the image that he had always wanted to see; the three of them, sharing a bed, and him, keeping them safe…

_The Next Morning…_

Buffy felt the warm light of the sun across her face, pulling her from her dream and back into reality. As she slowly started to acclimate to her now awake state, she could hear the sound of the shower. However, as she turned to her side she felt a body. Opening her eyes she took in her son, sprawled out across Angel's side of the bed. She had briefly remembered him joining them last night but somehow she felt that it was only a dream. Leaning over him, she kissed his forehead before she began to tickle him awake.

"Wakey wakey…" She whispered in his ear. She could see him trying to keep a straight face but as she continued her friendly torture, his face broke out into a smile and he began to laugh. "Did you sleep okay?"

"I had nother bad dream." He said as she pulled him into her arms.

"Do you remember what it was about."

"No. Angel asted already."

"So that's why you slept with us last night? How come you didn't wake me up?"

"Angel was coser." He responded, snuggling up closer against his mother. She smiled, and stroked his hair, happy to see that her son was beginning to adapt to Angel, to trust Angel. "He pomised he wouldn't leave us again and I think he's telling the truth."

She leaned down, dropping a kiss on the crown of his head before looking back up, just as Angel had immerged from the bathroom, his body still glistening from the steam in the shower, the white, fluffy, hotel towel sling low on his hips, allowing her to see everything that he was. "I think he is too… I think he is too." She responded, her eyes locked with his own.

_In San Diego_

Xander was filing the trailer that he had hitched to his truck with the few possessions that he owned. Buffy had told them not to bother with the furniture. He looked up at the house that he owned, and wondered why on earth he had ever purchased the damn thing. He, like Buffy, would rent the house out, but still, it was his house, a house that he had scrapped to put everything he had to purchase it. He wanted to make roots, something that he had lacked since Sunnydale had collapsed. He had been looking forward to starting a family, growing old, and all those thoughts, all those fantasies took place in this house. Now, as he filled his car, he knew that he would probably never come back, that this would be the last time that he looked upon it, and in doing that, he knew that he was leaving all his dreams behind. Nevertheless, it was worth it, he told himself, it was worth it if it meant Liam and Buffy were safe.

As he was closed the door to the trailer he watched as Willow's Prius drove by the house, pulling up along the curb. He knew this was real, that this was happening but part of him wished it wasn't. He loved San Diego, it was a beach version of Sunnydale. He had never been a big beach person before, but he was letting it grow on him and he understood what it was that Buffy had loved so much about it. There was a soothing quality about it and although San Jose wasn't terribly far from the beach, it wasn't just across the street either.

Willow stepped out of the car, closing the door behind her and stood to look at the house that Xander had purchased on a few years ago. There had been a lot of good memories in that house, Buffy's as well and it seemed so sad to be leaving it all behind. She had to admit that she was in a better position than Xander and Buffy as well. Unlike the two of them, she had been content to just rent an apartment, a furnished apartment at that so in the end she didn't have to leave much of her own stuff behind, a few lamps here and there, her sheets, bedspread… But those were trivial possessions, they weren't costly to replace. Xander and Buffy were not only leaving behind their houses, but their furniture as well. It had to be hard.

"I can't believe this is happening." Willow said as she walked up and stood beside Xander who was still looking at the house.

"I found someone to rent it, furnished. It will pay the mortgage, and a little bit more. I mean, I guess looking on the bright side, I'm coming out of it with more money." He spoke, shrugging. Still, Willow could see that he didn't want to leave the house behind.

"There will be others." She responded, placing her hand on his arm.

"I know." He responded, finally looking away, it was useless to even keep looking at it. He knew that it wouldn't make any difference. She was right, there would be other chances, other opportunities. He figured he should look on the bright side, at least he wasn't leaving anyone behind. Then again, that had to do with the fact that he had spent the past five years of his life, pretending to be Liam's father. Now, even that was gone. "Have you told Kennedy?"

Willow bowed her head, her eyes shifting from the house to the ground. "I was going to. It's just too hard. The wounds are just too deep right now." She closed her eyes, remembering the last conversation that she had had with her former girlfriend, trying hard to keep the tears from forming, even if it was true, even if the break up was for the best.

_Willow had been out all day; work had been a killer and all she wanted to do was go home, curl up with Kennedy and fall asleep. They had been having a bit of a rough patch and she wanted to make it up so before she had gone home, she had stopped off at their favorite market to pick up a few things so she could make her a nice dinner. _

_As she pulled into the driveway she felt a little off. Like something was wrong, but she chalked it up to her own nerves. She knew that she had been distant lately, she knew that Kennedy was trying hard to get her to open up, but she just hadn't been in the mood. Hell, she hadn't really even known what her problem was, she just hadn't felt herself. But she hadn't braced herself for what would be behind the door. _

_What she saw was her girlfriend, tangled, naked, in another woman's arms. It wasn't until the she dropped the bag that they had noticed her presence. _

"_I…" She stumbled. It was a faintly familiar scene for her… In fact, it only stirred up the memories of Oz that she had tried so hard to suppress. _

"_Will…" Kennedy replied, softly, grabbing a blanket and covering herself up before standing up to rush over to her. _

"_I can't believe this…" Willow stumbled, reaching for the doorframe. "How long? How long has this been going on?" _

_Kennedy looked to the floor, unable to meet her eyes. "Why didn't you just leave me then?"_

"_You left me a long time ago…" Kennedy finally spoke, looking up and meeting her eyes. "You left me when you didn't want to open up anymore."_

"_So now this is a blame game?" Willow responded. _

"_No… It's just… I guess this was a long time coming." _

"_Goodbye Kennedy…" Willow finally spoke, turning around, making her way out of the door of the place she once called home, and leaving everything behind. _

"Maybe it was for the best." Xander said, breaking her thoughts and pulling her into a hug. "But, enough of that. It's time for us all to have a fresh start. Let's hit the road Rosenberg." Willow hugged him back, managing a small smile and walked back to her car after they had pulled away. She would have plenty of time to push back the thoughts on her drive there.

_Meanwhile…_

"This place is amazing!" Buffy squealed under her breath as she walked around the rather large apartment. She was thankful that they were furnished because it was one less thing that she would have to worry about, meaning all that needed to be unpacked were the books, pictures and clothes. It would take maybe a day, as opposed to how long it would have taken had there been nothing. She looked around the Master bedroom, in her mind she was thinking of all the things she would like to do with Angel and all the places that they could do it.

She felt his eyes on her and she grew self-conscious, could he read her thoughts? As she turned to face him, she found that he was only a few feet away, his steps moving him closer to her and before she knew what was happening, his arms were around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She circled her arms around his neck and buried her head in his chest, breathing in the scent of the soap from the hotel, which on him, smelled like heaven.

"So… Who is staying where?" She heard Pike's voice interrupt her moment with Angel and as she pulled her head from her chest, she noticed that Angel's grip around her did not falter.

"Willow and Xander called a little while ago and they should be here around eight or so… So I mean, Liam has his own room and obviously I want him with me…" Her voice trailed and she looked up at Angel. "I want you to stay with us as well." He unwrapped one arm from her waist and pushed her blonde hair off her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. "If you want…" She added with a second thought.

"Of course I want to." He replied, kissing her cheek.

"So that leaves one more room here… And the three bedrooms in the apartment next door." She finished just as Spike walked into the room carrying Liam.

"Mommy! My room is huge!" He smiled and wiggled out of Spikes arms, running over to the door that opened to the balcony.

"If it's okay with you Pike. I'd like to stay here. I think that knowing Liam, and Buffy and Angel as well as I do… I can fight if I have to." Spike said. "I know that next door isn't that far away but I know I'd be more comfortable being closer to the little guy."

"Unca Spike's room will be right next to mine!" Liam said excitedly, causing Buffy to laugh. She could feel Angel tense, presumably because he was worried that it was a ploy to push himself into their lives, just as they were finally becoming a family.

"I thought Willow would be here." Angel said, loud enough only for Buffy to hear.

"Jealous?"

"No."

"Liar." She joked, "Spike has a point, we are better off with him around. The two of you will keep Liam safe, I have no doubts about that." Angel shrugged, and pulled her closer, casting a glance towards Spike, it was a warning, that he would literally tear him apart if he tried anything.

"Don't worry beef cake. I know when to back off. No need to go all grumpy and jealous."

"I'm not jealous." He stated once again, though he knew it was a lie.

"Okay you guys, go get the boxes and stop your bickering. Really, it's not necessary." Buffy said laughing, as she pulled herself from Angel's grip and walked to her son. "You should show me your room."

Liam grabbed her hand and pulled her out into the hallway, laughing the entire time.

_Meanwhile…_

"We have news master…" A hooded figure approached the chair where his superior was sitting.

He lifted his hand, urging him to continue, all the while not saying a word. He pushed himself deeper into the velvet covered chair, looking around at the surroundings. He hated the building, the cement walls, the broken windows. He had been assured that it would only be for a short period of time. That short time been a whole year. But now that Angel was back, they were certain that the boy was his, and now, he could seek his revenge.

"They are gone."

"GONE!" His voice roared as he jumped from the chair. "What do you mean gone!"

"I'm sorry master."

"Where have they gone?"

"We do not know."

"You insolent fool! Do you know what that means? We were so close how could you let them slip from your fingers?"

"I have failed you and I am forever in your debt." The figured kneeled, their eyes on the floor, unwilling to meet the eyes of the master that they had failed.

"Find them!" He motioned to his minions who were surrounding him. "And kill this traitor." He pointed to the figure before him. "If any of you fail me again, it will be all of your heads. Finding replacements will not be difficult. I can assure you that. You have three months. six months before the child turns five and it will be too late. Do not fail me again!"

**A/N:**

**Hey guys! I don't have much to say today! Hope you like the new chapter! Oh... So I'm trying to make Liam sound more like the actual 4 1/2 year old that he is but being that I'm the youngest in my family (and I'm 21) I don't have a lot of experience with children so let me know what you think... Maybe someone out there has more experience with kids that age! As always, thank you for all of you who keep adding this story to their alerts/favorites and a bigger thanks to those who continue to leave feedback! I love to hear what you have to say!**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty- Six

"I think moving here was a bad idea." Angel grumbled under his breath as Buffy dragged him in and out of the various shops along the row. She hadn't even finished unpacking her things and yet there she was, browsing, and purchasing more clothing from the designer shops that lined the charming street. "This was the only reason that you wanted to move here isn't it? The shopping?" This time he spoke loud enough for her to hear. Although he was relishing the time that he was spending with her, especially because for the first time, they were alone, he wanted to talk to her, to sort things out, not spend the time wandering from shop to shop, watching her blow large amounts of money on trivial, unnecessary things like, silk Gucci tops.

"You said you wanted to go for a walk, is it my fault that there are all these delicious shops to go in?" She responded, pulling him into the Salvatore Ferragamo shop. "Besides, living here means an automatic fifteen percent off anything! Why wouldn't I take them up on that? Besides, who knows how long we are going to be here. Come on, let me buy you a new shirt!"

"But I don't need a new shirt." He said. "You're just about as bad as Cordelia was…" That, he said under his breath, not intending her to hear it. Of course, it never works as one hopes and she turned around, her gaze meeting his own, her mind wondering if that was an insult or not. She supposed that it didn't help that she knew he once had feelings for her, feelings that edged on the romantic side, was he comparing her to Cordelia? Was he saying that she was worse than Cordelia?

"What exactly does that mean?" She barked, maybe a little too loud as a few people in the store turned to look at her. "Are you saying that I'm superficial?"

"No. I'm just saying…" His voice trailed, he realized this was a pointless argument. The past few days had been so wonderful and the last thing that he wanted was to screw it up. "I don't mean anything. You're wonderful, and if you want to buy me a shirt then you can buy me a shirt." Giving in was his only option, and he reached for her hand and took a few of the bags that occupied it, allowing her free range of the store. Although it was her fiery personality that he loved, he knew that with everything that was happening that she was more emotional than usual, and keeping that personality under water, was exactly what he needed to do. At least, for the time being.

She smiled, triumphantly and proceeded to move towards the men's clothing. He followed her, like the dutiful boyfriend? The lines were a little blurred, even now, and he didn't really know what to call her, the mother of his son, yes, his girlfriend? Well that he wasn't quite sure about. His mind wandered as he stood there, gazing at the clothes, and yes, he had to admit they were beautiful clothing but he felt that it was almost a waste of money. He didn't really want it, all he wanted her to give him was herself, and that, required no clothing at all.

She pulled a deep maroon, long sleeve, button down shirt off the rack and held it close to his body, examining the color and shape against his muscular frame. It was then that she noticed the look in his eyes, not exactly far away, but defiantly thinking about something. She held her hand down and walked closer to him, placing her hand on his chest. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"Nothing." He smirked. It wasn't like he was going to tell her that he was imagining everything that he wanted to do to her body, where he wanted to do it, and when he wanted to do it. Well, the when wasn't exactly what he was thinking about because if it was up to him, he would have done it right then and there, had it been appropriate.

"That's not a nothing face Angel. I know you better than that." She said, but the only response that she received was a shrug of his shoulders, and she knew to back off. Whatever it was, he just wasn't ready to talk about it. "Okay then. How about this one?" She smiled, holding it up so he could get a look at it.

He had to admit, it was a nice shirt, and as he let his free hand graze the fabric, he knew that it didn't matter really anymore if he liked it or not. What mattered was that she liked it, and if she liked it, he liked it because all he really wanted to do was make her happy now. And when she was happy, he was happy. His hand picked up the price tag the danged from the inside of the shirt and his eyes nearly bulged when he saw how expensive it was, really, three hundred dollars for a button up shirt that he could have gotten elsewhere for less than half of that.

"You're not suppose to look at the price." She stated, as though reading his mind, although really, all she had to do was watch the panic appear on his face, and she couldn't help but chuckle, really, men knew nothing about fashion. Granted, she always thought he looked good, and she only picked the shirt out because it looked so much like the others in his wardrobe. Though, she couldn't imagine that he had ever spent that much on them. "I'm sure some of those leather pants you have probably cost that much, maybe more."

"Yea, but that wasn't me that wore them… Most of the time. And that was leather. This is what?" He started to say before finding the tag on the collar. "Silk. I've never spent that much on a silk shirt."

"Will you at least humor me and try it on?" She pouted. Oh how he hated that pout, how could he not say yes? He grumbled under his breath and took the shirt from her, making his way to the back where the large white doors were. He wondered for a moment if she would join him but as he turned around, he noticed that she had moved on and was looking at the other side of the store, where the women's clothes were. He found himself rolling his eyes, there was no way he was going to allow her to buy anything else, though he had only been keeping a rough tally of everything, he assumed she had spent well over a few thousand dollars, and that was with the discount.

'Some people just express their depression in different ways,' he heard himself say. That had to be it. Of all the time that he had spent with her, he had never known her to go this all out in the shopping end of things. Sure, as a teenager, she had an appreciation of shopping but watching her now, it was slightly reminiscent of a teenage Cordelia. He shuddered at the thought. He had been so glad that as the time had passed Cordelia had managed to move past that superficial teenager that she had become, and the last thing he wanted was to see Buffy revert to that mentality. As much as he loved her, it would probably have driven him crazy.

He unbuttoned the buttons of his black shirt and slipped it off his arms, pausing only for a minute to examine his changing body in the mirror. Even though he had been human now for five years, he still couldn't believe that he had gone for so many years never being able to actually see his reflection. Now, each and every time that he did see himself in a mirror, it still somewhat surprised him, then again, two-hundred and fifty years of never seeing it would probably do that to anyone. He could see his body begin to age, now, an actual body age of thirty-one, he could see more definition in his muscles, he could see the start of the lines in his face, and unlike most men, those lines were something that he cherished.

"Are you done in there yet?" He heard her sweet voice call out from the outside and he opened the door, showing her that he, in fact, was not yet done. He had a deep desire to pull her into the room with her, to push her against the cool, white walls and attack her body. But he only closed the door, putting more space between the two of them before he did do something that he would only regret later, and quickly took the shirt she had picked off the hanger and slipped it on. Though he hated to admit it, the feel of the fabric felt luxurious against his skin, and he could see why people might spend that much on an article of clothing, he just wasn't that kind of guy.

He opened the door again to find her still standing there. He was thankful that she hadn't found anything more to purchase, maybe she was finally done, the shopping high gone. Self-consciously, he ran his hands down his torso, he was terrified that he might ruin the shirt, but that feeling was swept out the window as he saw the look on her face. She broke out into a wide smile and moved closer to him, her hands replacing his. And in that moment, he forgot about the price, and determined that if it made her that happy, he would without a doubt, wear it whenever he was around her.

_Later That Afternoon_

"God did you bloody buy the entire street?" Spike questioned, watching as Angel carried the bags into the room, casting a glare towards the blonde who stood there, his mouth open with surprise. "I've heard of people shopping to ignore their problems but this takes on a whole new meaning."

"Spike, watch it." Angel cautioned him, not wanting a scene to erupt, as it was likely to.

"I'm just saying, did you leave anything for anyone else?" He continued, loving the glares that Angel kept throwing his way. He just loved to push his buttons and he knew that anything he said regarding Buffy would do that.

"Leave what for anyone else?" She said her voice cheery as it so often was after a shopping spree. It wasn't a complete happiness but, it was better than nothing and she could settle with that for now. Thankfully, the buyer's remorse had yet to settle in.

"Nothing pet." Spike responded, ignoring the daggers that Angel was shooting at him. "Liam wanted to wander around. Cheeky kid has been bugging me to take him to the pool and I've been trying to hold him off until Xander got back, seems more like the kind of think that he would do. Sun doesn't really settle well with my skin."

Angel smirked, "Might have something to do with the pastiness of your skin buddy." Now, it was Spikes turn to glare, and he did, not really having anything to say as a proper comeback.

"Xander won't be here until tonight. Willow called an hour ago and said they won't be in until Seven. I can take him though, I've missed him, and I could always enjoy some basking in the sun. Where is he anyways?" She asked looking around, the panic rising in her chest as she realized that he wasn't in the room with them, he usually always ran into the room when she came home. Angel could sense her discomfort and looked to Spike, trying to hurry him along with the answer.

"In his room, changing into his trucks. Small fry thought that if he changed he could rope me into taking him. Probably would have worked too, little bugger, can't seem to say no to him." Spike said, walking towards one of the balconies, pulling his packet of cigarettes from his coat pocket before stepping out and lighting up, he knew Buffy would have killed him if he smoked in the apartment.

Angel kept his eyes peeled on Buffy, watching the relief as she allowed it to flood her panic. He watched the fake smile she plastered on her face, the one she gave when she didn't want people to know that deep down, she was still worried about the outcome. He had seen it before, mostly when she came to confide in him during those first three years they had together. It pained him to see it, knowing deep down what it meant, knowing that he could do nothing about it but be there for her, support her.

"Angel, can you tell him when he comes out that I'll take him? I'm just going to go change and find his water wings." She spoke finally, turning to walk towards the master bedroom. He didn't respond, only just stood there, nodding at her retreating back, in his mind he was trying to think of what he could do, how he could sooth her. He had hoped that his presence would have done something but he knew that she was feeling exactly what he was feeling deep down, a sense of dread.

"I take it you two didn't have the heart to heart you were hoping for?" Spike asked, leaving out his customary jab, realizing that it was probably best to leave it out this time. Last thing he wanted was for the poof to blow a gasket, he could tell that he had things on his mind.

"No." Angel responded, walking closer to the door that Spike still stood by, inhaling the cigarette, letting the nicotine pump through his veins. "You know, you're not immortal anymore, might want to think about kicking the habit, it's likely to kill you, not to mention, you smell like shit."

"Whatever, not like I have much else to look forward to these days anyways." Spike shrugged, pushing the almost finished butt into the dish, successfully putting it out. "What's with you anyways, don't you have everything you wanted?"

Angel fell into one of the patio chairs, his eyes looking out over the balcony which overlooked one of the swimming pools. "I wouldn't say that I have everything that I want, exactly."

"Oh, I guess sharing a bed with her, being the boy's father, isn't enough for you?"

"I'm just confused. Why did the powers tell me that I was the only one survived if you did too? Why would they lie like that?" Spike just looked at him, not saying anything back. "Okay, yea, the Powers like to play with our lives, but that's just cruel. Do you know how much time I missed because I blamed myself?"

"Oh don't go getting all mushy on me you miserable bastard." Spike responded, falling into the other chair, both not aware of the boy who had just emerged from his room and was standing in the family room, listening to what they were telling each other. "You can't change what's happened. As for the Powers, it's nothing new that they like to fuck with our lives. Move on Angel, get over it, the sooner you do, the sooner you can be the father that you're meant to be." Spike was surprised with the words that seemed to come from his mouth, was that almost a compliment? Had he really almost complimented the idiot that sat before him? Even Angel was taken back, but he just shrugged, not really sure how to respond to that, luckily Liam came out to the patio, saving him from thanking Spike for this kind words.

"Angel, are you coming with mommy and me to the pool?" Angel could see that he was excited, his large hazel eyes shining with a brilliance that he rarely saw in the world. It was something that only the innocence of a child could possess, once you learn of the horrors in the real world, it's hard to have that kind of passion for anything. "Peas?!"

He found himself smiling, and he began to think about the things that Spike had just told him. Maybe it was best to just leave the past as it was. There would be no moving forward if he didn't and he couldn't change it, he only had to accept it. At least someone had survived, that, in and of itself, should be enough to get him through it, his fight was not in vain.

"Peas!!" He heard Liam's voice break through the silence and Angel felt Liam tugging at his hand. He had to admit, for a four and a half year old, he was pretty strong.

"Okay, okay, I submit." Angel said smiling, standing up and picking his son up, carrying him into the family room where Buffy was standing, wearing one of Angel's shirts as a cover up, though it was unbuttoned just enough and he was able to see the black bikini that she had on underneath, was she trying to kill him? It took him a moment but he placed the bathing suit, it had been the same one she had worn when they had gone to the beach that day so many years ago, about five years, two months now. She had been breath taking then, and she was just as breath taking now.

"Ready?" She asked, as she watched Angel put Liam back on the floor. She noticed the look on his face and she couldn't help but feel warm inside, the way she use to feel around him. Even though she was twenty-nine now, she still felt like the sixteen year old girl that she had been when they had first met.

"Angel's coming too!" Liam said excitedly.

"Oh is he?" She smiled, raising her eyebrows. "Do you want us to wait or should we head down now?"

"I'll just be a minute." He responded before turning around and heading to the master bedroom to change.

**A/N:**

**Okay... So I know this was a total fluff chapter, I just didn't really feel in the mood to write something serious and I wanted to explore the blossoming relationship that is happening both with Angel and Liam and Angel and Buffy. So, hope you enjoyed the fluff... I'm working on solving the issue of the Power's lying to Angel about Spike's survival (and maybe even the survival of someone else, haven't decided yet), so that should be coming up soon! Anyways, hope that you liked the chapter! And I know this is so completely repetitive but I just want people to know how much I appreciate your adding the story to their favorites/alerts and a HUGE extra thanks to all you who constantly take the time to comment! I love hearing for you! Which means, thank you: SWChica2005, Carol, Taaroko, Magicaltears, Geeky13, angelplusbuffyequals4ever, buddies... You have been so consistent in your reviews and I appriciate each and everyone! I hope that you liked the new chapter! And please, everyone, keep sending your thoughts my way!**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty- Seven

Spike sat on the balcony, looking down at the pack of cigarettes he was holding in his hand. He knew Angel had a point, knew they would kill him but now that the big poof was back, he wasn't sure what he was doing alive to begin with. He hated the pity party, hated that every time that he saw them together it felt like a piece of his soul was being ripped from him but he knew, he knew that there was nothing he could do about it. They had a son together, so long as that kid was there, so would he. For a moment he hated himself for thinking that, for thinking that he had a right to her heart, but he didn't, it was her heart to give away and she had given it away a long time ago. Even when they had been together, he knew that she would never love him the way that he wanted her to. She wasn't capable of it.

"_You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine and done things I'd prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain so I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred years and there's only one think I've ever been sure of. You." He watched her look away as he spoke. "Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I saw I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy…"_

_He could tell she was starting to cry. "I don't want to be the one."_

"_I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear." She smiled and he felt that his heart might leap from his chest. "You get some rest now. I'll check in before first light. You can decided how you want?"_

"_Spike?" He heard her call. "Could you stay here?"_

"_Sure. That diabolical torture device, the comfy chair. Do me fine."_

"_No. I mean here… Will you just hold me?"_

He would have held her for the rest of her life if she had let him. And he thought that maybe he might have had the chance, especially as time seemed to pass and Angel had never shown up. They had been growing closer and although he knew that she would never give her, her whole heart, he thought that he could live with being loved second best. Well, maybe third, she knew that Liam and Angel were just about tied on the love scale, and he would never be able to replace that. But now, seeing her with Angel, he was beginning to realize that maybe he wouldn't have been happy being the person she could love second best, especially seeing how happy she was with the one she love the best.

He took the pack into one hand, flattening his other palm and hit the cardboard carton to it a few times before opening it up again and pulling yet another one out. Seemed like it was going to be a one pack kind of day. Those were few and far between lately, if Angel had paid any attention he would have noticed that he had cut back, he was aware of his mortality now, it just seemed, given what was happening in his life at the present, that it didn't really matter much anymore. He put the cigarette between his lips, holding it there as he reached for the lighter that was sitting on the table, and flicked it, watching the golden flame as he moved it to the stick in his mouth, inhaling until he could feel the smoke fill his lungs. He tossed the lighter back on the table and stood up, leaning his body against the railing as he looked down at the family who were still at the pool.

_At the Pool_

"Mommy! Come play in the water!" Liam's voice shouted as he made circles with his arms, trying to get to the wall of the pool, the water wings making things a little more difficult than he would have liked. He had been having such a great time, Angel tossing him into the water over and over again at his request. It almost felt as though they were a family, that for the first time in his four and a half years he didn't have to wonder if they would ever be reunited because here they were, all three of them, together.

"I'm good out here. Besides, I'm all pasty and we don't want a pasty mommy." She responded, leaning on her elbows as she looked over the top of her sunglasses.

"Aunt Willow says too much sun is bad for you." He said defiantly. Finally reaching the edge of the pool and grabbing hold of the ground. Angel was standing only a few feet away watching the interaction.

"Aunt Willow likes to be white." She retorted before laying back down, savoring the feel of the warm sun against her skin.

Liam let go of the edge and tried to paddle his way to where Angel was standing. "I think you should throw mommy into the pool."

"I think your mom would kill me if I did that."

"Nuh-ha."

"Yes"

"Nope. Mommy likes you too much to kill you." Liam responded and Angel watched as he began to pout. He knew he was a goner after that, he might have inherited his looks from him, but he without a doubt inherited his mothers personality and that pout.

Angel sighed, there was no way he could ignore the pout and he walked over to the stairs and walked out, his eyes on the object of his desire. She must have heard him because the next thing he knew, she was lifting her glasses off her eyes, and looking at him with a look that seemed to burn into his soul. He watched as her eyes traveled from his face, down to his feet and he hoped beyond all hope that his arousal wasn't showing because he could feel the blood pumping through him.

"What wrong?" She asked, as he bent down, placing a kiss on her forehead, trying to distract her.

"Nothing," he murmured into her neck as he slipped his arm around her back, the other under her knees. She didn't even realize at first that he was picking her up and she didn't have time to protest because before she knew it, he was walking to the pool and he jumped in, taking her with him.

"Did you put him up to that?" She said laughing when she finally came up to the surface, Angel right behind her as she made her way to her son who was floating there, laughing.

"No…" He responded, giggling as she reached forward and pulled him over to where they were swimming.

"I'll get you back for that." She said playfully.

_Back at the apartment…_

Spike tore his eyes from the family as he heard the doorbell ring. Pushing the cigarette into the plate he stood up and made his way to the door, surprised to see who was standing there in front of him.

"Spike!" She squealed and threw her arms around him. "Where's my sister?! And my adorable little nephew!"

"Nibblit. It's good to see you. I didn't know that you knew we were here already." He said, hugging her back, glancing up to see that she wasn't alone and that Connor was standing there next to her. "Conner. It's good to see you." He wondered in that moment if he knew that his biological father was back, it had been a long time since he had last seen the boy. He tagged the memory to being not to long after Angel had left, maybe a few months when Buffy dragged him with her to Berkeley to track the kid down. She'd been keeping an eye on him ever since.

"Good to see you too Spike."

"Man this place is nice!" Dawn said, looking around and dropping her overnight bag down by the couch. "So where are they?"

"They?" He questioned. Something had come over him when she threw her arms around him and he couldn't quite place it. A familiar feeling and yet, it had been so long since he had felt that way. It was somewhat unnerving, she was so young, he couldn't possibly have hidden feelings for her. No, he imagined it, it was his loneliness taking over and she was Buffy's sister so it only made sense that he would think that he felt something for her.

"My sister and nephew. Connor's half brother?" She said, looking at him as though he was losing his mind. Who else would she be talking about?

"Oh… Um… They are by the pool but they should be on their way up here in a little bit if you wanted to surprise them. I think once Willow and Xander get here there was talk about going to dinner…"

"Yea Buffy told me on the phone." She said, plopping herself down onto the couch. She was thankful it was the weekend, it meant she didn't have to go to her internship.

"So, you're all graduated and stuff?" Spike asked, watching as Connor looked around. He wondered if Buffy had told him that Angel was back and he wanted to ask but he wasn't sure that it was his place to say such things. Though, he had to admit, seeing Connor was almost like looking at Angel, only slightly younger.

"Yea, but Buffy encouraged me to go do the whole high education thing and so I'm getting a graduate degree and I'm going to stay at Berkeley for that. Which is great since Connor graduated from Stanford and is going to study law at Bolt." She said reaching for the remote and turning the TV on.

"Law? Really Connor?" Spike questioned, raising an eyebrow. It seemed like a curious choice, considering everything that they had been through with Wolfram & Hart.

"Yea well, figured I could do some good or something. Besides, Laurence and Colleen apparently always wanted their son to be a lawyer and since I didn't really feel like entering into the real world, seemed like the best option. What's another three years of my life anyways?" He shrugged. "So, it's true?"

"What?"

"Angel's back?"

"Yea… Buffy tell you?" Spike asked and watched as he nodded. "Any idea what you're going to say to him?"

"No. I mean, it's not like we're that close anyways." His voice trailed and Spike could hear that it was tinged with hurt, maybe even a bit of regret. "I still can't believe he left Buffy pregnant." Spike was about to speak, to tell him that he didn't know before he realized that he was sticking up for the guy. "Yea, I know he didn't know but it took him five years to come back… Who does that?"

"Someone who's confused?" Dawn piped up, not really sure she even had a place to say anything but she figured that she would give Angel the benefit of the doubt. True she didn't in actually really know him well, yes there were memories of Angel but they were fake… And there was that short period of time that he had shown up, impregnated her sister and left… But she heard the way Buffy sounded on the phone and she hadn't heard her that happy in such a long time.

"Yea, there is this whole ordeal going on. He says the powers told him that he was the only one who made it out of the battle, even though we clearly were there together. Not sure really what's going on. I called Giles on the drive up here last night and he said he was going to look into it." Spike said just before the door opened, interrupting their conversation and Buffy appeared with Angel and Liam.

"Auntie Dawn!" Liam yelled, running towards the couch and throwing himself in her arms.

"Hey Liam! I've missed you!" She said, hugging him back and watching as he pulled away and saw Connor.

"Conn!" He said again, pulling away from Dawn and running over to his older brother.

"Hey bro." He said, picking him up and looking to the door where Angel and Buffy were standing.

"Conner?!" Angel said, his mouth open and he turned for a moment to look at Buffy who stood there, somewhat uncomfortably but she had called Connor and told him what had been going on, she figured that they might want to see each other, to talk things out.

"Hi Angel." He said, putting Liam back down and walking towards where they stood looking apprehensively at his father not sure how to really react so instead he moved closer to Buffy and hugged her. She had, after all, become like a mother to him. "Hey Buffy."

**A/N**

**Okay another little fluffy chapter... Just kind of getting things set up, introducing Dawn and Connor to the story because I wanted to bring them in as well... Mainly because I have an intention of bringing Faith in as well sooner or later and as much as I like Faith/Spike relationships, I also like the Faith/Xander relationship as well and I want Spike to find some happiness in the story... But I want Xander to find happiness too since Anya is dead... So I have a few options and I'm looking at my readers to tell me what they would rather see...  
**

**Your options:  
Dawn/Spike  
Dawn/Connor  
Faith/Spike (I like this one so much because they have this dynamic that I think is great... They are a lot alike in so many ways)  
Xander/Faith**

Now to give you a brief insight as to what will be happening in the next chapter or so... Cordelia will be making a bit of an appearance, right now I'm thinking in a dream... To explain the decisions of the Powers, and to give her view as to what she thought about it... She'll probably make a few appearances in the story, against the wishes of the Powers... So that will probably happen in chapter 28 or 29... I'm not sure, I need to play around with 28... I'll probably be putting a little bit more in there about the Master's childe as well, just not sure when as I need to figure out how I'm going to work that in!

Anyways, like always, thank you to everyone who is reading and adding this story to their alerts/favorites and extra thanks to all you who continue to leave comments! The more I get the more I update, as can be seen with my very persistent posting this week! I'm actually quite proud of myself for how much I've posted this week! And, as I have so much work to do this weekend, my chances of going out are slim to none which might make for more posts this weekend! Anyways, like I said, enjoy!  



	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty- Eight

"Are you sure you haven't grown since I last saw you?" Buffy asked after she had pulled away from Connor's embrace. She could feel Angel's eyes as he watched them interact and she felt slightly guilty. She had not mentioned that she had been in that close of contact with him, that she had been there for him over the past few years and he too had been there for her. She actually couldn't imagine what the past few years would have been like had he not been around. Liam loved it when he came to visit, maybe because it was a connection to his father, the father that he had not know at the time.

Connor just smiled. It was good to see her again, to see his little brother. "I'm sure." He looked down at his shirt and noticed that he was damp from her wet clothes, and he brushed his hands over himself and then looked in a different direction, unwilling to meet the gaze that Angel was casting his way. "How… How have you guys been?"

"Con… Come see my room!" Liam interrupted excitedly, somewhat working to alleviate the building tension.

"I will in a bit little man." Conner responded, shaking off his younger brother's grip on his hand and instead looked to Buffy. "You okay?"

"Of course." She said smiling and he watched as she reached behind her back and grabbed Angel's hand, turning briefly to look at him. She couldn't read him, he seemed to have retreated inside of himself, maybe hoping that if he closed his eyes the situation would go away. But she knew better, and that was one of the reasons that she had called Connor and told him what was happening. Angel never would have done it, would have thought that it was better Connor didn't know. But she couldn't live like that, especially since she had grown so close to him over the past few years. She had to get Angel to face the reality, to fix the problem before it spiraled even more out of control than it already was. He couldn't keep hiding and pretending that it didn't exist. "There are some great places to eat around here. I was thinking about getting cleaned up and we can all head down to the row, grab dinner and catch up?"

"That sounds good. Do you want me to help with Liam?" He offered, knowing that she would probably want him to have a bath to get the chlorine off of him.

She didn't respond, just smiled and nodded, pointing towards the room that was Liam's before turning to face Angel. Connor walked away, he just wasn't ready to face Angel, even if Buffy was happy, he wasn't sure how anyone could forgive someone of what he had done. Outsiders who might have witnessed the exchange might have thought he was ungrateful, and, maybe he was. But what it all boiled down to the fact that he had no choice in the way that his life had turned out, and for that, he blamed Angel. It would have been nice to know his father, to be raised by his father, but Angel made the choice to give him up, to send him away. And then, when he had learned of what he had done to Buffy, leaving her pregnant, he realized that he wanted to be part of her life, his brother's life, because maybe he could be there for Liam when his father couldn't.

"Come on…" She said, breaking the silence that had formed in the room. She glanced to the patio and saw that Spike had taken Dawn outside in order to get away from the tension. She grabbed his hand and tugged on it, making him follow her into their bedroom. She dropped his hand and closed the door, noticing that as she made her way to the middle of the room he was sitting on the bed, that dazed look still over his face.

"Please don't be angry with me, and please don't go all retreating over to the dark side." She said softly, cautiously, she knew that she had to watch what she said, afraid that if she came on too strong that he might leave again. "Things are good Angel, things are really good. It was probably one of the reasons that I thought I should tell him, I can't lie to Connor, Angel, he's been a part of Liam's life… It wouldn't be fair." She moved closer to him, watching as he looked up, his face softening a little, but she could still see the deep furrows on his brow. "I'm not saying things are going to be perfect, but I was hoping that maybe the two of you could work something out."

"Buffy you don't even know what happened between him and I. You have no idea!" His voice was loud and it startled her, causing her to back up again, to put more distance between the two of them. "You went behind my back and told him that I was here! He doesn't even want to see me! You had no right!"

"I know more than you think Angel! And, regardless, I do have a right!" She said louder, trying to top his tone. "That kid in the other room, that gives me the right to do what I want. I didn't think you were ever coming back! I thought that maybe, maybe if Connor was part of his life, it might make up for not having a father!" She was starting to feel the tears come to her eyes. What had happened between them? Things had been so great only thirty minutes ago and here they were, like old times, arguing. She was tired of arguing with him, tired of the pain that it caused her.

He looked up at her, immediately wishing that he hadn't said the things that he had. She was right, everything up until thirty minutes ago had been damn near perfect and here he was, making her cry. Why is it that it was all he ever seemed to be able to do, to make her cry. He stood up, walking over towards her but noticing at first that she took a few cautious steps backwards before relaxing and letting him approach her.

"I'm sorry…" He said, reaching up and touching her face, brushing the tear that had escaped her green eyes. "I'm so sorry, you're right. You had every right."

"I'm sick of this Angel…"

"Sick of what?" He could feel his heart beating faster, afraid that she wanted out, that she wanted him to leave.

"Of fighting with you. Why can't we just get past all this?"

"I'm so sorry." He could feel his heart breaking, he wanted to take her in his arms, to hold her, make love to her, assure her that it was never going to happen again. But that was something he couldn't promise, he couldn't promise that he was over the pain, that he had come to terms with the decisions that he had made over the years. He could only promise to try, to try and be there for her, to try and get past it, to hope that they were over the worst of it all. He felt her head fall to his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

Her hand came up and touched the back of his neck, her eyes looking upwards as they met and before he knew what he was doing he was kissing her, his mouth on hers desperately trying to taste her, to feel her. Maybe this was what made their relationship was passionate as it was, they would fight, kill each other maybe, but in the end, their blood would get the best of them and they would be locked like this, in each other's arms, grasping for each other, never having enough.

"I'm sorry too…" She said breathlessly as she pulled away. "I should have told you, I should have asked you, explained it all before I put you in that situation."

"My have we grown…" He said, a smile playing on his lips as he looked at hers, still swollen from his attack.

"I know, look at me, all mature and stuff." She smiled back, briefly standing on her toes to kiss him before pulling away from his grasp. "I need to shower…" She started her walk to the bathroom, unbuttoning the buttons of the long sleeve, black shirt that she had stolen from his bag as a cover up and let it fall to the floor, briefly looking over her shoulder to see his reaction.

He on the other hand, just stood there. His eyes not moving from her body and he could feel the blood pumping through his body, on a mission to go straight to his groin. He looked at her face for a moment as she looked over her shoulder, a smile gracing her face, her eyes, once swimming in tears, seemed bright and full of mischief. He could feel his arousal, straining against the material of his trunks and desperately wanting to be relieved. Had that been an invitation to join her in the shower? No, the girl was just being a tease, and the last thing he wanted to do was get in that shower with her if she really didn't want him there.

_An hour later…_

"That shirt looks great on you." She said smiling as she stood up from the couch and walked over towards him, taking in the deep maroon color of the shirt they had just bought. Her hands went straight to his chest, her fingers grazing over the fabric. His eyes, however, were plastered on her, taking in the sight of her in the tight black, skinny jeans, and a green, silk top that dipped low enough for him to see just enough cleavage to make him wanting more.

"That um… Looks good on you too." He managed to choke out, feeling her small hand slip into his, her fingers tangling themselves with his own. His eyes moved to the couch where Connor was sitting with both Liam and Dawn, the three of them in some conversation, Liam loving the attention. He wanted to talk to Connor, to tell him how much he regretted the past, how if things had been different, all he wanted to do was see him grow up. He wanted to tell him how happy he was to see him, how much he was hoping that maybe they could start anew, and even if he could never accept him as his father, maybe they could find some kind of common ground. He wanted to be in his life, and he wanted him in his.

"Thank you," She smiled, placing a soft, yet lingering kiss on his neck, hearing the soft growl that seemed to come from the back of his throat as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her up against his side. "You guys ready to get dinner?"

Five sets of eyes were cast their way and they watched as they stood up and made their way over. Liam standing by Angel's feet, his arms up in the air, begging him to pick him up. Angel obliged and released his grip on Buffy, bending down slightly to pull the boy up in his arms. He could feel Connor's eyes on him, and he was filled with a sense of anguish.

"How's your pizza?" Buffy asked, reaching across the table and wiping Liam's face that was covered with the red pizza sauce. She knew the answer to that before he even said anything and she smiled, sitting back down and taking a large sip of her wine. Though she wasn't one to usually drink, with everyone around, she felt comfortable, happy even and she wanted to savor it. To get a little buzzed and have fun with them all, maybe even find the courage she had been lacking as she stood in the bedroom with Angel.

She could feel his hand on the back of her neck, softly stroking it, sending shivers down her spine with each move of his large thumb and she was doing everything she could to not release the moan that was building up inside of her. Willow was sitting across the table from her, a smile as wide as the Grand Canyon on her face as she watched them and Buffy found herself blushing.

"Does anyone want anymore wine?" She finally asked, her voice a little more ragged than she had anticipated but the growing lust within her was coming to a boiling point.

"I'll have some!" Dawn spoke, looking at her empty glass.

"I'm not sure I'll ever get use to seeing you drink." Buffy commented, before stopping the waiter and ordering another bottle of white wine.

"Yea well, get use to it." She remarked, smiling. "So Angel, how's being back?" The table grew silent for a minute, almost in shock of her forthright behavior. It had been a question they all wanted to ask and yet never did because they weren't sure they should, not sure if it was their place. And it's not like Buffy had been any help, when they asked her the only answer they got was a simple shrug of her shoulders. Though, it wasn't as though they had talked about it either.

"It's different…" He started, he could feel the heat in his cheeks, unsure really as to what he could say, what he should say. "Shocking?"

"Yea, that happens when you leave before your girlfriend has the chance to tell you she is pregnant." Connor mumbled under his breath, but Angel heard it.

"I made some terrible decisions Connor, and I'm taking responsibility."

"Yea, five years too late. But you were never good on timing were you?"

"Connor…" His voice trailed as he watched his eldest stand from the table.

"I'm sorry Buffy… I'm going to go back to the apartment. Thank you for dinner."

"CONN!!" Liam's voice called out, causing him to turn around and look at his brother. "I wanna go with Conn."

Buffy looked at him, and he nodded his head and turned back, lifting him in his arms and pulling him from the high chair. "Thank you Connor…" She said softly, placing a hand on his arm as he gave her a small smile and walked off.

"I should probably go with him…" Dawn said, standing up. "I'm sorry Angel… I didn't mean…"

"I know you didn't. It's okay." Angel said softly, trying to hide the hurt that he was feeling. Things were never going to be okay between them, he would never have that bond with Connor. He watched as she said goodbye to the table and ran to catch up with Connor and Liam, the three of them retreating into the night that had fallen over the city.

"Liam was probably tired anyways." She said before turning to face Angel, her hand grazing his cheek. "Need a drink?" He gave her a small smile and she poured more wine into his glass before snuggling up against him. She could feel the wine doing its job on her body and she only hoped that it would last long enough.

"I called Giles on the drive up here." Xander spoke, putting his fork and knife down on the plate, watching as the rest of the table turned their attention to him. "He said he was going to look into whatever happened with Angel's last battle. What the Powers did and why they did it. He said he would call as soon as he has some information. Maybe we can get some more conclusive answers." What he wanted to say was maybe, just maybe, Connor would open up to him, maybe it would give them some kind of common ground, a flat surface upon which Angel could start to build a relationship with his first son on.

"Thank you Xander." Buffy smiled, her hand reaching towards the bill as the waiter dropped it off. She didn't bother to look, she didn't really care anymore, all she wanted to do was get back into that bedroom and attack the man that was sitting next to her, looking entirely too delectable.

"Anyone want to go get some drinks?" Willow asked, having noticed a few trendy lounges.

"I'm in." Xander responded. "After that drive, I could use something to unwind."

Pike too agreed, leaving Spike just sitting there, contemplating his options. He could see the look on Buffy's face and he could tell it meant that she wanted to be alone with Angel. Yes, he knew that look, granted, it wasn't exactly the same one that she use to give him. No, the one that she had in her eyes was a mixture of love and passion and pent up desire, the look that she had always given him had been lacking in the love department.

"Sure, bloody might as well get a little pissed. Not like I'm all that knackered or anything."

"I'm pretty tired…" Buffy lied, as they stood up to leave the restaurant. "I think I'll go back to the apartment and go to bed early." She wondered if Angel had gotten the hint although he didn't seem to, he only just held her hand and looked at her.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"Only if you want to." That too was a lie, what was she suppose to say, 'yes, and I want to jump your bones and get groiny with you. NOW.'

"Okay, I'll go with you." He said, kissing her forehead and wrapping his arm around her. "We'll see you guys back at the apartment later."

**A/N:**

**Okay, so you totally know they are going to get groiny in the next chapter... And being that it's almost thirty chapters in, I think they've tortured themselves enough! Also, be prepared for a cameo with Cordelia in the next chapter... Just for a little insight, THERE WILL BE NO ANGEL/CORDELIA relationship in this story... I hate that paring, beyond any imaginable understanding... Makes me sick to think about it. Anyways... Back to what I was saying, the next chapter will contain mature themes... Now, other matters that I need to discuss:**

Thank you for your input on other relationships in the story: I do think I'm going to go in a Spike/Faith manner but I do have issues with the Dawn/Connor thing, especially since ya know, Buffy and Angel are together and that would make Connor, Dawn's Nephew... Kinda weird. So, are people open to OC's? Totally, completely made up other characters? Because I think it's the only option really. I haven't read the comics because I've heard that Xander had a relationship/fling with another slayer and I could bring one in but I don't know anything at all about Renee. I'd probably do the same with Dawn and Connor. I'm just not sure I can write them as a relationship. I've had some questions about whether or not I'm going to bring in Oz. I love Oz, I'm waiting for the right moment.

As always, I want to thank you all for reading and to say that I have the best readers ever! Thank you all for all the reviews that you sent my way on the last chapter! It warmed my heart and totally made me want to get this chapter out quicker for you all! I hope to see that kind of reaction more as I continue with it! You all made my day! So please, continue to send those comments my way and you'll be rewarded with more chapters! I hope you all have/had a great Friday!


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Her key hit the lock, as she was desperately trying to push back the naughty thoughts that were going through her mind, trying to ignore the feel of his hand, pressed softly on the small of her back. She bit her bottom lip as she opened the door, but couldn't help but smile as she heard the laughter that filled the apartment. The noise was coming from Liam's bedroom and as she closed and locked the door behind her, she heard Connor's voice as he continued to tell a story and she found herself walking to the door, leaning against the frame and watching.

Connor was sitting up in the bed, Liam resting against his chest, Dawn, on the other hand, was sitting on the edge of the bed, and Connor read from the book that was open, resting on his lap. Angel came up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and burying his nose in her hair as he looked at the scene that was unfolding before him. He could feel her relax into his arms and he smiled, this was everything he had ever wanted, and the fact that Connor was present in this, made his heart soar.

"Come on," She whispered, stepping away and walking into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator, her eyes landing on the bottle of champagne that sat there, alone. She smiled, and pulled it out. She knew in an instant that it had been Willow who had bought it. It was one of their new traditions, to toast to a new house with a glass of champagne, but right now, Buffy had other plans in mind. Besides, she could always replace it. As she grabbed two flutes, she turned around to find that he was not behind her, he must have gone straight to the bedroom and as she began her walk to the bedroom, she was interrupted by Connor.

"Thank you Connor, for putting Liam to bed." She said, smiling warmly at him. She watched as he looked at what she was carrying and he raised an eyebrow. "Don't give me that look."

"What look?"

"That disapproving look." She laughed, "I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

"He's just going to leave again Buffy." He said softly, quietly, afraid that Angel might hear him. "It's what he does best. That's never going to change."

"I wouldn't be so sure Conn." She responded. "Something is different this time, I can feel it. Sometimes people surprise you… I, more than anyone, know that for a fact. I'm not saying that things have always been great between him and I, but he has surprised me more than once before and… I think that he's really going to stick around."

"How do you know? How can you be so certain?"

"I'm not certain. I just have faith that he'll do the right thing. But I can't make you believe me, I can't make you have a relationship with him but I do think that you should try… One of the things that I'm certain about is that he always wanted to be a father. It's true that I wasn't there when you were born, but I was in your father's life before that and the reason that he left me the first time was because he knew, or at least he thought, that he would never be able to give me children, and it wasn't because he didn't want to."

"Yea, I know. Cursed vampire and all…" His voice was sarcastic. "The thing is, he left."

"He thought it was the right thing to do." She responded, her voice soft as she moved towards the couch, taking a seat and patting the cushion next to her, motioning for him to join her, which he did. "It's true that I don't know the whole story between the two of you, but what I do know, what I'm certain of, is that he still loves you, that he's always loved you. Angel just… He shows his love through unconventional ways."

"I don't understand." Connor stated casting his gaze away from hers, suddenly feeling as though he was a minnow, swimming in a large ocean. Had it not been for the soft hand that she laid on his shoulder, he would have retreated, he would have blocked the rest of the world out, but it was her hand that brought him back.

"Did you know that Angel killed your mother? Before she was brought back?" She watched as he shook his head. "I had only known him for a short time and it was a few days after we had kissed for the first time and I had learned about his true identity. I guess looking back on it now I should have known but I was sixteen, I hadn't really been in the business that long. She tried to make him kill me, but he killed her to protect me. And, he's been protecting me ever since. The thing is, after he realized that we couldn't be together… He left not because he didn't love me, but he left because he did love me."

"How can you leave someone behind that you love?"

She could feel the tears come to her eyes. "Not long after he left, a few months maybe, I went to Los Angeles. You can't tell him this, he doesn't know that I know, he doesn't know that when I died, this memory was something that came back to me, a memory that I wasn't suppose to have." Connor looked at her, and nodded, agreeing to keep it between them. "Your father was made human… His blood mixed with the blood of the demon that had been sent to kill us and he was alive. And it was probably one of the best days of my life at that point. Well, the demon wasn't dead and when he went to kill it, he got hurt and had I not shown up, he probably wouldn't have made it out. So he went to the Oracles to have him turned back… That way he could protect me, so he could keep me alive because he didn't want to be in a world without me… And it broke my heart… But I knew, and respected what he did, and it made me love him even more."

"What does this have to do with me?"

"Everything that Angel does… He does it for a reason. I'm not saying that he always makes the best decisions… But we make mistakes, we're not perfect. But I do know that your father loves you, I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you. And I'd put money on the fact that he left you so that he could give you a life that you deserved. I'm not saying that you have to go to him now, call him dad… But I do think you should cut him some slack… Talk to him… Get to know him… But that's your choice. You're decision and I can't make that for you." She said, smiling faintly as she stood up and started to walk towards the bedroom.

"Hey Buffy?" He spoke, causing her to stop and turn back to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you… For everything. For being there for me, for letting me be a part of your lives. Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me… I would have pestered you to come around until you gave up anyways." She laughed before they said good night.

He watched her walk into the bedroom, and close the door behind her, letting her words linger though his mind. He wasn't sure if anyone knew about that day that Buffy was talking about, no one had ever mentioned anything before, and he did have to give his father some credit for that. He always knew that his father loved Buffy, that she had been the first and only love of his life, he remembered Cordelia once saying something about her to him. But at the time that didn't mean anything to him, but now, he was beginning to see that Angel had done the same things to her that he had done to him. Maybe the whole time he really did only want the best for him… But why couldn't he have just told him that? He sighed, resolving to think about it later, his head was beginning to ache, and too much was being processed at one time.

He walked into Liam's room to find him fast asleep. Dawn was sitting on the floor, her eyes cast downward to the book in her lap and he went over and sat down next to her. She looked up, her eyes leaving the book to met his and she smiled at him.

"Nice conversation?"

"Yeah, not too bad." He responded, leaning his head against the bed.

"Did you get the answers you were looking for?"

"I'm not sure really. It's too soon to tell."

"If you need anything Connor, you know I'm always there for you." She said smiling, her hand reaching for his own. "I know what it's like… You know… To be confused about what's going on. To be confused about where you belong."

"I know."

"Did you bring your trunks?" She asked, realizing that it was the best time to change the subject. Besides, she knew that her sister was jonesing for some alone time with Angel and with Liam asleep, she figured that it was the least she could do for her.

"Yeah, why?"

"They've got a huge pool and I'm not exactly tired. Liam's asleep and the last thing I want to hear is my sister having sex with her ex-vamp lover."

"Who says you'd even hear anything?"

"Come on Conner. They've been aching for each other for days now… I can see it in her eyes… And trust me, if there's one thing I know about my older sister, it's that she isn't exactly quiet." She tried not to laugh but she couldn't help it and before they knew what was happening, both of them were grinning.

"Come on, let's go." She said finally after she had calmed down, standing up and holding her hand out to him. He took it, allowing her to drag him with her. Maybe getting out of the apartment, putting some space between him and Angel would give him the space he needed to sort through everything that was going through his head.

_Meanwhile…_

"What took you so long?" Angel asked, moving away from the balcony as he heard the door close. He turned to face her, watching as she walked closer to him, his eyes moving to the champagne that she was carrying. She didn't even bother to respond, instead she brushed up against him as she walked onto the balcony, setting the bottle and two flutes on the small table before taking a seat, looking out on the Row beneath them.

"Do you want any?" She asked, she could feel her boldness, could feel her desire beginning to bubble within her.

He reached for the bottle and popped it open, watching as a little bubbled over the top before picking up one of the glasses. Carefully he tilted it to the side and watched as the bubbly liquid filled the glass. He handed it to her and filled one for himself, all the while trying not to let the thoughts in his mind get the better of him. Was she trying to seduce him? Did she know that she didn't have to pull out all these stops? All she had to do was kiss him, tell him and he would have done anything. His eyes moved to her, watching as she brought the glass to her lips, her lip gloss leaving a trail on the clear flute.

"Mmm…" He heard her say. His mind was racing, his blood circulating to the one place that he was trying to keep under control and he shifted in his seat, feeling his arousal press tighter against his pants. He reached for the glass in front of him and brought it to his mouth, taking the entire contents in one smooth gulp, his face flushing as he felt her eyes burn into him. He poured himself another glass, and did the same with it, hoping that it might clear his mind.

"Can I have some more?" She said sweetly, standing up and walking over towards him, her glass right under his nose. He obliged and filled it once more, and after he put the bottle down, he realized that she had not moved from where she was standing, his eyes at the same level as her stomach. He closed them tightly, trying to stop thinking about her, to stop imagining her standing there naked before him, but it was no use.

The alcohol was taking over, the wine from dinner, and now the champagne, and her standing there in front of him looking so damn desirable. He could feel his heart beating wildly, and he leaned his head back, trying to focus on his breathing, anything but the woman standing before him, now swaying her hips. 'When had she put the music on?' he began to wonder, listening to the soft voice of whatever it was that she had on. He wasn't sure how long he could sit there, how long he could pretend that she was driving him wild. Thankfully, he didn't have to wonder for too long.

He heard the sound of her glass being placed on the table and he looked up, watching as she moved over him, lowing herself into his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. When she sat down, he could feel her rub against his arousal and he heard the growl escape from his mouth, causing her to smile and wiggle against him a little more. She pressed her mouth to his, running her tongue along his lips, pleading for entry and he opened for her, wrapping his arms around her back, pulling her closer to him, as close as he could get her. As her hands found his hair, he slipped his hands under the back of her shirt, touching the bare skin on her back, swallowing the moans that she made as she continued to press down against his erection that was straining to be released.

He released her mouth, his hands moving out from under her shirt and cupping her bottom, holding her against him as he stood up, stumbling for only a second before regaining his footing. Her legs wrapped around him tightly, her lips against his neck as he carried her from the balcony to the bed, laying her down, pausing for a moment to look down at her, to admire her before he began to disrobe her. He took his time, kissing each inch of skin that was reveled to him, until she was left in only her bra and panties.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered against her neck, feeling her hands against him, unbuttoning the buttons of the shirt that she had only just bought him a few hours ago. He moved up again and pulled the shirt off, tossing it to the side of the bed. As he did that, he found that her hands were on his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping his fly, and he shuttered for a minute as he felt her small hand on his sensitive flesh.

"You have no idea what you do to me." He groaned pulling his pants and boxers down in one swift movement before removing her undergarments as well. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He had to ask it, he couldn't live with it if he had misread the signs although he was pretty damn sure he wasn't.

"I'm sure…" She said, smiling as she ran her fingers through his hair. It was all he needed to know, all he needed to hear and in one swift movement he moved inside of her, joining their bodies for the first time in five years, making her his once more, and hopefully for the rest of his life. Their lovemaking was passionate; slow and filled with longing at one moment, fast and desperate at another. It felt like coming home…

**A/N:**

**Okay, so they finally did it... I'm not one to usually write sex scenes... I hope this was okay... As for the chapter as a whole... I wanted to address Connor and his relationship with Angel from his point of view and I thought the best way would be to have him talk to Buffy... Both of them know what it's like to be left by Angel and I think that he needed to hear that it wasn't because Angel didn't want him... It's something that I believe he and Buffy have in common. So I hope that you all liked that part of the chapter... I felt that it was very critical to the character development. And I know I told you all that Cordelia would be in this chapter but that was before I decided to put the conversation between Buffy and Connor in... With that said, she will be in the next chapter.**

I just want to keep thanking my readers! You all are amazing! Thank you for reading and for sending your comments my way! I hope that you are liking where the story is going! And I want to keep thanking you for reading! Also, please continue to send your comments my way! As you can tell! I've been updating a lot lately because you all are giving me the motivation to write! So I look forward to hearing what you all have to say about this chapter and maybe what you might like to see happen in the next few chapters!


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Buffy lay there, spent in the arms of Angel as he held her close to his body. She could hear the gentle thumping of his heart, still beating rapidly from their third round of love making that night. The night had been everything that she had needed, in each act, he told her how much he needed her, how much he wanted her, and how much he loved her. It was reassuring, as though he was telling her that he would never leave her again and in so many ways, it had been different than it had been five years ago. Each and every time that he took her, she couldn't help but feel as though it was exactly where she was suppose to be, that there, in his arms, in his embrace, she was finally home.

It was different than when Spike held her, different even when Riley held her; their lovemaking had not been the same. With them, it was a mixture of deep fondness, but mainly of pure, raw, carnal pleasure. She never felt the same comfort, the same love, the same sense of belonging as she did when she was in Angel's arms. And she couldn't help but wonder if the words that she spoke to Willow so many years ago carried truth, that real love and real passion had to go hand in hand with pain and fighting.

She knew that there would always be problems, so long as Angel continued to carry the memories of what he had done long before he became cursed, before he became human once again, she knew that there would be a pain that would forever hold a place in his mind. And she knew that sometimes they would fight, it was the clash of their personalities. Both, strong willed to the point of relentlessness, each wanting different things, him wishing to protect her, her wanting to fight her own battles, but it was their headstrong personalities that would ultimately lead them to the passion that they have for one another. The blood pumping through their bodies, their fighting only a catalyst to the love that pulsed through them, begging to be released.

She sighed against his chest, and he reached up, tangling his long fingers though the strands of her hair. He pressed his chin to his chest allowing him to look down at her, to take her in and all the beauty that surrounded her. He could feel his body aching to take her again, to show her that no one else could possess her the way that he did, that no one could ever give her what he could, but he held himself back, content to hold her, to feel her warm breath against his sweaty chest. He worried that her sigh had been made out of regret, her mind finally processing the acts that they had committed, but the longer that he spent contemplating it, the more he realized that that was not the case. Never one to suppress her feelings, especially in matters to her feelings towards him, he knew that if she truly thought of it as a mistake, she would have gotten up long ago and forced him from the bed. Instead, he felt her fingers trace patterns on his chest and he closed his eyes, trying to remember the moment, trying to capture it in his mind because he knew that this was the start of all this dreams coming true.

He finally grew bold enough to break the comfortable silence that had grown since he had rolled off her and cuddled her deep in his arms, "I love you Buffy… Above everything else, I've never stopped. And more than ever, I know I'm exactly where I'm meant to be, I've been headstrong in the past, but I don't want to run from this anymore. I want to be here, I want you to be here, and I never want to let go."

"I don't think I've ever heard you say so much at one time before, at least, about your emotions." She smiled, turning onto her stomach and resting her chin on his chest, allowing them to make eye contact. "I love you too, and that's something I've never been able to logic myself out of."

"I promise I'll never leave you again. I don't think I ever could."

"You can't promise that… You don't know what the future holds… I remember you once telling me that that was how it was, that that was the deal… And, the past has only taught me that what you once said was the only truth."

"Don't talk like that."

"I love you Angel. In the end, that's all that matters." She reached up and pushed a bit of his hair that had fallen from it's normal place off of his sweaty forehead.

"When did you become so mature?" He teased, touching her cheek, stroking it softly with the pad of his thumb.

"Not sure." She smiled, turning back on her side and snuggling back into him, her head taking its place in the comfortable nook of his chest. "I'm so sleepy but I still want…" Her voice trailed, she knew what she was saying, she wanted to see his reaction, to see if he remembered, if he still thought about the day that he had erased, the day he wanted her to never remember.

"What? You couldn't possibly… Not that I wouldn't."

"No. I'm spent, pleasantly numb. You?" She asked, listening to his heart beat race in his chest and she knew that he remembered.

"For now…" He found the words came to his lips before he even had the chance to think about it, the déjà vu settling in. Did she know? Or was this something the Oracles had cooked up, to make up for the day that he alone carried.

"I just want to stay awake, to let this night to continue." She responded, looking up at him.

"Buffy?" He whispered.

"Mmm?"

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

"Just that I love you. For everything you are, and everything you have ever done, even if I might not have agreed with it at the time, even if I hated you for making the decision without me. I know you did it all for the right reasons, I know you did it because you loved me."

There was a gentle rapping on the door, interrupting the moment of understanding that had taken so many years for them to come to. She pulled herself from his embrace and moved off the bed, grabbing his shirt in the process, the one that she had bought him, and put it on, buttoning it just enough to cover her body so she was presentable to whomever it was that was requesting their attention. As she opened the door she saw Connor standing there, his face flush with concern.

"Connor what's wrong?"

"Buffy I'm sorry to interrupt." He started, his eyes surveying the room taking in the clothes that had been scattered and his father who was sitting up in the bed, his upper body naked and exposed.

"What's wrong?"

"Liam… He's tossing and turning and I can't wake him up."

There wasn't any need for any other words, she fled the room without even turning to Angel and rushed her to son's bed. Angel waited for Connor to leave before he too jumped from the bed, his hands grabbing at the boxers on the floor and pulling them on. In his haste he almost forgot to grab a shirt but he quickly found a black tee-shirt and pulled it on before following Buffy into Liam's bedroom. He saw her there, sitting beside the bed, trying desperately to wake their son who seemed to be lost in a trance.

"Angel please find Willow!" She pleaded desperately, her eyes not leaving her son's rigid body. Angel didn't have to respond, he had fled from the bedroom and out the apartment door before she even had to look at him, giving her the time to lean down, her ear pressing to his chest as she could hear the rapid beating of his heart. Whatever it was, whatever was happening to him was putting his body in distress.

"Please Liam, wake up…" She said over and over again, pulling him up into her arms and holding him close to her body. She could feel him struggling, fighting whatever it was that he was dreaming about, whatever it was that was haunting him.

"Buffy what's wrong?" Willow asked as she appeared in the doorframe, watching as Buffy laid her son back down, realizing that holding him would not wake him up.

"I… I don't know. He's had nightmares before but he won't wake up. It's like something has taken over him. I can't get him to wake up." She responded, as Willow walked up behind her, watching the boy, realizing immediately that someone had placed some kind of spell on him, had done something to make this happen, she just didn't know what it was.

She moved in front of Buffy, sitting down on the bed and placing her hands on him. Angel too moved closer, but instead of moving towards Liam, he took a place near Buffy, pulling her off the bed so that Willow could take note of what was happening and try to figure out what it was. He could feel her crying into his chest, her wet tears starting to soak through the plain black cotton shirt that he had found and he rubbed her back.

Willow closed her eyes and muttered something that neither Buffy nor Angel could hear, and in a matter of moments Liam was sitting straight up in bed, looking around the room, confused as to why everyone looked so upset, why his mother was crying, why his Aunt Willow was touching him, why Angel looked so panicked.

"Mommy what's wong? He asked, watching as she pulled herself from Angel's embrace brought Liam into her own, afraid that if she let go he would go back into his trance.

"Are you okay?" She asked almost frantically, pausing only for a moment to take a breath realizing that the last thing she wanted to do was scare him if he had no recollection of what had just happened to him.

"I'm otay, I was sweeping." He responded, obviously oblivious to the fact that something, or someone, had taken control over his body.

"Did you have a bad dream?" She heard Angel asked cautiously as he made his way closer to Buffy and his son and he watched as Liam shook his head.

"I don't member my dream." He responded as Angel and Buffy locked eyes.

"How about sleeping with me and Angel tonight?" She said, pushing his short brown hair off his forehead as he nodded.

"Otay."

"Do you want to take him to the bedroom? I want to talk to Will for a moment and I'll be right there." Angel nodded and walked to Liam, picking him up and holding him in his arms as he left the room, allowing Willow and Buffy to talk.

"What was that?" Buffy asked, breaking the silence once she heard her bedroom door close.

"Whatever it is that is after him is powerful… They were able to get into his mind. The only thing I can think of is that they know that we moved and they are trying to figure out where we are."

"Is there any way we can stop whatever it is from getting into his head?"

"I don't know of anything off the top of my head. I'll have to go through some of the books, see if there is some kind of protection spell that can ward off enemies from entering into the mind."

"Same kind of deal we did when Kathy was sucking my soul?"

"No… That's different but, I guess the same kind of idea. We aren't trying to get a soul back, we're just trying to find a way from stopping something from getting into his mind."

"Is there something?"

"I don't want to lie Buffy… I don't know, but I'll do whatever I can to make sure that we can stop it, I just need to get my books."

"Thank you Will."

"I don't want anything to happen to him just as much as you. We'll figure this out. I'll go give Giles a call maybe he knows something and start looking through my books. You should go and be with Angel and Liam… It's all that you can do right now." She told her as she stood up and began to make her way out of the door.

"If you need anything…"

Willow turned around to face her. "I know. Go to bed… I'm sure you're pretty spent." She grinned knowingly, causing Buffy to blush as Willow walked out the door and back to her apartment a few doors down.

**A/N:**

Okay maybe I should stop promising that Cordelia is going to make an appearance in the next chapter haha because it never seems to happen. The story just seems to take on a life of it's own as I'm writing it. Not that that is a bad thing or anything... So... I figured we needed a little drama to stir up the pleasant happiness that Angel and Buffy are experiencing... It's the two of them... They can't be happy the entire time now can they? So, enter in Liam. We already know that someone is after him, but with the move, they are falling behind because we also know that they only have six months before Liam turns five and it will be too late (something that Angel and Buffy don't know because it wasn't in the prophecy)... So I thought mind possession was one of the best ways for the person to figure out where they are... Only thing that needs to be solved, did they figure it out?

Okay so Cordelia WILL be in chapter 31... I'm sure of that, and she is going to visit in a dream, seeing as she is dead and all... Or, maybe she'll just be an apparition. I'm not sure yet, and that's a detail I need to work out. But, the next chapter will provide some insight as to why Angel doesn't remember anyone surviving the battle, and maybe someone else survived all along... That's something that will be addressed as well. Now, as for Oz, I'm probably going to bring him in soon... After Willow works her magic to protect Liam, she's going to go through some emotional inventory in which she is going to address her feelings for our favorite werewolf.

Now, my usual thanks. Thank you all for your support and readership, I still believe that I have the best readers ever because you all never fail to leave comments and let me know what you think of the new chapters! Sorry for the later post today, I've been reading Suing the Gun Industry all day for my Senior Thesis class and haven't really had much time until just a little bit ago. As for an update tomorrow I'm not sure... I have to meet with my Thesis group to discuss the book for our presentation on Tuesday, hence I'm not sure when my day will actually end. Either way, I do plan to update in the next few days! But, thank you all for reading and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your reviews! I love them! I love reading what you all have to say! So please continue to send them my way and I'll give you new chapters in return!


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

She didn't go straight into the bedroom after Willow left. Although things had seemingly calmed down, she couldn't seem to steady the beat of her racing heart. She stood from his bed and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water before leaning against the cool marble countertop. Her mind was running with thoughts, thoughts that she didn't want to have, ones that she thought she would never have. She heard Liam's bedroom door shut, figuring that it was either Dawn or Connor she didn't bother to move, it didn't matter anymore. The one thing she needed to do now was figure out how to protect her son from something that she couldn't even see, something that she didn't even know.

She set the glass down and pulled herself up so she was sitting, the counter feeling cool against the fabric of the shirt. Her gaze was cast downward as she realized that she was wearing Angel's shirt, she had forgotten that she had even put it on. The silence of the house was unsettling, and she couldn't help but feel that if Liam fell back asleep that they would only try to get into his mind one more time. It didn't matter if he was sharing a bed with her and Angel, there was absolutely nothing that they could do to protect him against it. It didn't help that they had only just moved, only just settled into the new place and the last thing she wanted to do was up and move again. She wanted everything to just go away; she wanted the family that was starting to bud.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head back, trying to find someplace in her mind that was better than where she was right now.

"_You can't sit on the beach all day…" She pouted as she sat down on the towel that was lying next to his. He hadn't taken his eyes off the horizon since they had been there, and he didn't even seem to realize that she had taken a seat next to him, her hair dripping from the salt water. "Earth to Angel…" _

"_Wha… What?" He asked, as though he was being pulled from his thoughts. She could see that he had been contemplating something beyond words. At least, it was something that he didn't want to talk to her about. Though, that didn't really come as a surprise to her, since he had shown up she had tried hard to get him to talk about what was going on, but he just didn't seem to want to._

"_Come on, big boy." She said smiling, as she stood back up and took his large hands into her much smaller ones, pulling him up and dragging him with her towards the cool water, savoring the smile that he gave her, knowing that it might not last for that long._

A flash of light seemed to grab her attention and caused her to push off the counter. Quietly, she opened a drawer and pulled out a stake that she had hid there and made her way into the main room, her eyes peeled trying to find the source of the flash that she had witnessed, but there was nothing. She sighed and gave up, dropping her hands to her sides as she walked towards the bedroom. Opening the door she found herself smiling for the first time since the enemy had possessed Liam's mind as she looked at Liam snuggled up against Angel's side. She wanted to take a picture, to capture the moment that she was witnessing but the last thing she wanted was to disturb them.

"Never thought you'd get the chance to see that did you?" Though hearing a voice would have usually startled her, Buffy remained calm, and turned to look at the apparition standing next to her, looking at the same scene. To say she was surprised would have been an overstatement, for some reason, she had almost expected her to show up.

"Can't say I thought I would." She shrugged, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking at what I never had?"

"I'm sorry…"

"For what? For being the only woman he ever loved?" Cordelia spoke, turning to face her. "Jesus Buffy, get over yourself for a minute, would ya? I know what he and I had… May not have been all 'Ohhh yes…' and then 'Grrrr' like it was with you, but it was enough for me."

"I don't understand."

"You know how you made Angel a better man?" She started, her eyes casting a glance back towards the bed. "Well Angel made me a better person, and I loved him, and I know he loved me as much as he could, but even I knew, it was always you. That thought would have made me angry in the past, but I'm over it. I'm SO over it."

"Still…"

"Really Buffy, I'm happy where I am now." She said, turning her gaze back to Buffy. "But that's not why I'm here."

"What's wrong?"

"The Powers sent me… Kinda, it's a technicality really, I was suppose to send Whistler but I wanted to check in. Though, I'm sure they won't be too happy with me when I get back up there." She looked up for a minute, rolling her eyes at the ceiling.

"News about Liam?" Her voice was hopeful; Pike had said after all that it had been Whistler who had told him about the danger that was surrounding Liam. And now, with Cordelia here, all she could hope for was an answer, a solid grasp on who it was that was doing this to him.

"Well… No, not really." Buffy's face fell with those words. "More of an explanation as to why the Powers thought Angel shouldn't know that he wasn't the only one who made it out of the fight."

"And you don't want to tell him yourself?"

"He's sleeping."

"Why me? It's not like we've ever really been that close?"

"I'll tell him… In good time. I just need to be sure that I made the right decision."

"What? Cordelia stop being so cryptic."

"The Powers didn't want to give him his humanity. After everything that he had done with Wolfram and Hart they had their reasons to want to deny him of that. But I told them that he only did it because he thought he would have a better chance at defeating the evil from within, well that and he wanted to give Connor a better life and they were the only ones he thought could do that. But I knew why he wanted his Shanshu, why he always wanted it, why he fought to hard for it." Buffy raised an eyebrow as she looked at the woman before her. "You."

"So why did he have to think he was alone in all of this?"

"Punishment."

"For what?"

"For the whole Wolfram and Hart thing. Geez Buffy don't you listen?"

"So what, the Powers thought it would be great to just come in and mess with my life? And then my child's life?"

"Turns out it was for the best after all though. You wouldn't have had the past four years of uninterrupted pleasantry."

"What does that mean? If you think that things have been pleasant you're mistaken. How could they be when I was alone, raising a child, not knowing if the father would ever come back?"

"It means that the Powers hadn't expected the two of you to procreate. In fact, they thought that the prophecy regarding the child as the son of a slayer and warrior was meant for you and Spike, seeing as the way things turned out after I fled from Sunnyhell. Turns out Angel's absence was one of the things that has kept Liam safe for as long as he has."

"So if Angel hadn't come back, we wouldn't have been in this situation?"

"No… I can't say that because duh Buffy… They figured out it wasn't Spike's kid when you sent him on missions to find Angel." Cordelia rolled her eyes again.

"So what am I suppose to tell him?"

"Nothing."

"So he's just suppose to keep tormenting himself?"

"I didn't say that. I'll go to him, in a dream at some point. I just needed you to know, to understand."

"Why did the Powers assume that the child was going to be Spikes when they knew what Angel did all those years ago?"

"What do you mean?" Cordelia asked, and watched as Buffy raised her eyebrow.

"The day that Angel had reversed… For me." She said softly, no longer looking at Cordelia, instead her eyes landing on the man who was in her bed, the man that she loved with every ounce of herself.

"Can't answer that Buff. That was before my time gracing the Powers."

"So what am I suppose to do with this information Cordy?"

"That's not my decision to make. I just thought I should let you know."

"Does anyone else know?"

"No."

"Thank you, I guess. I wish you could have told me what I need to know about Liam though… I've already forgiven Angel for leaving. I know what it's like to lose everything… He needed his time to grieve. I just wish it hadn't taken so long. But I know he would have done the same for me."

Cordelia smiled at the girl that she had never actually become close with but it didn't matter. They were in love with the same man, and though Buffy always had his heart, they had something in common for the first time. She never blamed him for loving her, though, there had been a time when she thought it was questionable, before she understood what Buffy went through on an everyday basis. But now, standing there with her, watching Angel with his son, she knew that things had ended up the way they were meant to be. Angel always belonged with Buffy, and Buffy always belonged with Angel. It just took them a little longer than most people to get there. Their passion, was something that she and Angel never had; there had been love, attraction, and friendship, but the fact that their passion had never boiled the way Buffy and Angel's did was only more of a reminder that in the end, they weren't suppose to be together. She was happy where she was, with Doyle. Things were exactly the way they were supposed to be.

"Take care of him Buffy." She said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I will." She whispered, but as she turned, she watched as Cordelia disappeared, a soft flash of light and she was gone, leaving her alone in the room with Angel and Liam.

She smiled, walked to the bed and crawled into it, reaching over Liam to touch Angel's face softly. He stirred, his eyes fluttering open, looking at the green ones that starred back at him, feeling her hand as she tangled her fingers in his hair. He reached his hand over his son, and took her free one, lacing their fingers together.

"Everything okay?" He whispered, not wanting to wake Liam who had only just fallen back into a deep sleep.

"As much as they are going to be." She said, giving him a small half smile. "I'm so glad you're back… You have no idea."

"I wish I had never gone away…" She could see the torment in his eyes, that he truly regretted leaving her behind.

"It's okay… You're here now and that's all that matters." She moved her head closer to his, pressing their foreheads together. "I love you… Always, no matter what happens."

"I love you… Forever." He whispered before leaning in and kissing her softly one last time before drifting off to sleep, the love of his life, and his son both secure in his arms.

**A/N:**

So I know it's a short chapter but I was beat after that conversation with Cordelia and I'm still really not happy with it. I've never been that good with her character her... But I hope its okay. I was going to have her talk to Angel, especially because Cordelia and Buffy well... I mean, they never really knew each other but both having loved Angel are on a different level now... They have a common ground that they never had before, especially since Cordelia did grow when she left Sunnydale (though I would hope anyone who moves away and/or gets older is able to grow emotionally)... So the whole point of that is to somehow make amends with them. I loved Doyle, even though he wasn't around for a bit and I always felt that Doyle and Cordelia would have been a great couple together, especially because I feel that he only would have added to the emotional growth of Cordelia... If that makes any sense.

So... I hope that you enjoyed the chapter... I want to thank you all for reading and all your support! Sorry the chapter is coming out later today! And as always, thank you for everyone who continues to add this story to their alerts/favorites as well as those who endlessly leave me your reviews and comments! I love hearing from you!

Preview of next chapter: I'll be focusing more on Willow and her search for a spell for Liam... That means conversations with Giles... After she finds a spell I'm going to have her evaluate her relationships in the past... SWChica2005, I agree with what you have said about Willow not really being fully gay... And it's something that I'm going address when I get there... I don't want to talk about it now otherwise it will give away a large part of what I want to write about. I'm also planning on having a conversation with Pike and Whistler about Liam, Angel and Buffy... And there will eventually be the following: A Connor/Angel talk and a Connor/Dawn talk (they have a lot in common, kinda, and I want that to be addressed)...

Anyone else just dieing for Liam to call Angel daddy? God I know I am... I just need to time it right and I still think it's too early!


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two

Willow sighed as she thumbed through the large, leather bound book that was resting in front of her. It had been two hours since the incident and she was still not at all any closer to finding the answer that she knew Buffy was hoping for, that she was hoping for. It seemed like a losing battle, she would find one thing that seemed to work but upon further reading, it was in actuality for something entirely different. She had become very hopeful only a few pages back but the spell wasn't stable and the last thing she wanted to do was put an unstable charm on a small boy.

"Found anything yet?" Xander asked, placing a mug of coffee next to her book, watching as she only shook her head, still deep in concentration. "What books have you gone through? Let me help."

"You won't be able to read them… The only books I have left to read are ones with spells that are in Latin." She stated, realizing after the fact that her voice was a little more harsh than she had intended, it was the exhaustion and annoyance talking and she looked up to see him wince at her tone. "I'm sorry… I'm just stressed."

"We all are…"

"I'm just worried that there won't be anything. That there is nothing we can do for him."

"Will, you created a whole bunch of potentials… You are stronger than these spells. You can do it… You just need to relax and it will come to you." He placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to make her understand, to show her that she had the power to do good. "Take a nap, get some rest… Looking at it in the state you are probably isn't helping."

"I know…" She sighed, marking the page that she was looking at before standing up. "Thank you Xander. You're welcome to look through them if you like, maybe you will spot something I missed. Giles might call in a bit too, if he does and I'm asleep can you wake me up?"

"I will." He said as he watched her walk from the room.

She walked to the bed and pulled back the comforter that she had carelessly tossed when Angel had come in to wake her, his face more panicked than she ever could remember seeing it. As she slid in the bed she took in the surroundings, the first night in a new place was always different, and she couldn't help but worry that it was that fact that had made Liam vulnerable and until he became comfortable with his surroundings, this would continue to happen. She knew that Buffy had done the right thing when it came to moving, that it had been the only option but she wondered if maybe she should have done it in better increments, maybe brought some of his furniture from San Diego with them to help with the adjustment.

It was a good idea though that he would be sleeping with both Buffy and Angel for the rest of the night. Maybe with them around he wouldn't be vulnerable, he would be surrounded by the two people who loved him more than life itself. She found herself sighing as she thought about Buffy and Angel. Seeing them together brought back memories that she thought she had pushed away, memories that she wanted to desperately forget. But it was more than that, it only emphasized her loneliness. It was something that she couldn't run from, she was lonely, and it was more palpable than ever.

"_It frightens me how powerful you're getting…" Tara stated, looking at her. _

"_That's a weird word."_

"_Getting?"_

"_It frightens you? I frighten you?"_

"_That is SO not what I meant. I mean it impresses, impressive."_

"_Well, I took Psych 101. I mean I took it from an evil government scientist who was skewered by her Frankenstein-like creation before the final, but I know what a Freudian slip is. Don't you trust me?"_

"_With my life!" _

"_That's not what I mean."That's not what I mean."_

"_Can't we just go to the fair?"_

"_I don't feel real multicultural right now. What is it about me that you don't trust?"_

"_It's not that… I worry sometimes. You're changing so much, so fast, I don't know where you're heading."_

"_Where I'm heading?"_

"_I'm saying everything wrong."_

"_No, I think you're being pretty clear. This isn't about the witch thing. It's about the other changes in my life."She said, somewhat indignantly. _

_Tara was pleading with her, she could see it in her eyes, the fear that she had said the wrong thing, the fear of losing her. "I trust you… I just… I don't know where I'm gonna fit in, in your life when…"_

_She didn't give her the chance to finish. "When I change back? Yea. This is a college thing. A little experimentation before I get over the thrill and head back to Boys Town. You think that?" _

"_Should I?"_

"_I'm really sorry I didn't establish my lesbo street cred before I got into this relationship. You're the only woman I've ever fallen in love with, so how on earth could you ever take me seriously?" _

Willow woke with a start, her eyes flicking open and surveying the room, looking to see if anything had changed, but nothing was different, only the rapid beating of her heart. She had almost forgotten about that moment with Tara, had pushed it back deep into the depths of her psyche, because for some reason, she knew why Tara had said the things that she had. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was already past ten am, she had been asleep for over six hours and knew that she had to get back to work. Before she could even get out of bed, there was a knocking on her bedroom door and a few moments later, Buffy walked in and sat down on her bed.

"Thank you for last night." She said, breaking the silence that had settled between them. "And I understand if you can't find something right away…"

"I called Giles, I'm hoping to hear from him soon… I want to fix this as much as you do."

"I know… I just want you to know that I appreciate it, we both appreciate it."

"Both?" Willow asked.

"Angel and I…"

"I knew that…" She laughed softly, she couldn't believe that she had forgotten. The dream had really disoriented her. "Buffy?"

"Yea?"

"How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"I mean, you loved Riley and Spike but how did you know that Angel was the one?"

"I always knew Angel was the one. There was always this connection that I never had with anyone else, it was a place that he could reach me, and only him… I'm not sure how to explain it really. It's like, drinking hot chocolate on a cold day, when everything around you is freezing and you can feel the hot drink as it slides down your stomach… It warms you everywhere, completely, from the inside out." Willow watched the smile appear on Buffy's face as she wrapped her arms tightly around her body. "You must know what I mean… Isn't that how it felt with Tara?"

"Um.. Yeah, I guess I just needed a reminder." Willow stuttered, looking down. She was lying though her teeth, it hadn't been Tara who had given her those feelings, no it had been someone before her, someone who she hadn't seen or heard from in nine years, someone who she told that part of her would always be waiting for him.

"Want to show me what you've been looking though? I'd love to help…" Buffy said breaking the silence as she stood up from her seat on the bed.

"Of course, I could always use an extra set of eyes. Let me just get dressed and I'll meet you out in the kitchen.?"

"Sounds good!" Buffy responded, walking to the door, but she stopped when she heard Willow ask who was looking after Liam.

"Angel's watching him this afternoon." Buffy smiled before she turned back to the door and left the room.

_Meanwhile…_

Connor sat down on the couch, after the night they all had, he was exhausted. He kept listening for Buffy to scream for Willow again, and he was afraid that if he did fall asleep, that he would miss out. He wanted to help, he wanted to do more than just sit around contemplating his relationship with the father that had just come back from wherever the hell he had spent the past five years.

The more he thought about it the more he realized that his anger stemmed from different places. He appreciated the talk with Buffy, it had opened up a few doors for him. He wanted things to be okay between them, and he even thought that they had been. It wasn't until Buffy showed up on his doorstep, a few months after he had seen his father for the last time, telling him that he was alive. He had no idea what had come from the battle, he had left as Angel had asked him to, but deep down he had hoped that maybe they could forge a relationship when it was all said and done.

He understood why Angel had gone to Buffy and not him. From her accounts, he was pretty badly damaged and probably knew that she was the best person to take care of him. He had just hoped for a phone call, anything, something to tell him that everything was okay, that he was okay. And yet, that phone call never came. What came, was his pregnant girlfriend six months later; she was four months pregnant at that point, and though he didn't know her well, he could tell that she was scared.

He knew right away why his father loved her so much. He could see it in her soul. It was the way she carried herself, the way she seemed so selfless, though he accounted that to her duties as a slayer. She couldn't be selfish and save the world, and he knew that she must have had to have grown up, much faster than even she would have liked. He felt comfortable around her, like he could tell her anything and she wouldn't pass judgment, he knew that he could trust her, that he could put his faith in her, so he did. They talked for a long while that day, and as he got to know her, he found that he had developed a new anger towards his father. He couldn't understand why he left her behind, how anyone could ever leave her behind.

"Connor?" He heard his voice being said but he was still many miles away, trapped in the confines of his mind. "Connor?" It was with that second calling that he seemed to snap out of it, bringing himself back into the present and saw that Angel was standing there, holding Liam in his arms, as he looked down at him.

"Yeah?" He tried hard to keep his tone civil, but it was difficult after the thoughts he had been thinking about, but since Liam was present, he knew he had to do what he could. The last thing he wanted was for Liam to resent Angel. Resentment led to nothing and he knew that it was something he would have to face in the very near future if he was planning on sticking around to help Buffy through this, he could always go back to school after, right now, this took priority. He didn't want anything to happen to his little brother.

"I hate to ask you…" His voice was soft and filled with what Connor could only determine as shyness. "But is there any way you might be able to keep an eye on Liam for a bit? I was hoping to go help them with some research but I don't want to…"

"I can watch him." He responded cutting him off because he knew what he was going to say, that he didn't want Liam to know what was going on.

"Thank you Connor." Angel responded putting Liam down before walking out the door.

"Conn, can we go to the pool?" Liam questioned.

"You're a little fish aren't you? Didn't your mom and Angel take you there yesterday?"

"Yea… It was fun!"

"How about we wait until Dawn comes back?"

"Otay!" Liam responded excitedly, as he sat down on the couch next to Connor. "Conn?"

"Yeah?"

"How come you don't call Angel daddy?"

Connor had been waiting for this… He had expected it almost, he knew it was coming and yet he had no idea what to say to him. He didn't want to discourage Liam from the progress that he was making with Angel either and he was afraid that if he told him the truth that he would, that Liam would take it the wrong way. How do you tell a kid that your father gave you up for adoption, when that same kid had lived almost five years of his life without him?

Connor sighed before looking up at Liam. "My relationship with Angel is different… He is my dad, yes, but he isn't the same person who raised me."

"So is Xander my dad?" Liam looked confused, he didn't understand what Connor was telling him.

"No… Angel is your dad."

"But Xander helped mommy so did Spike."

"I know sport, but Angel is your dad just as much as he is my dad."

"But you don't call him dad."

"That doesn't mean you can't." Connor said, trying to make him understand. He wanted Liam to have a relationship with Angel, he knew Angel wanted one with him, presumably to make up for the time he couldn't spend in his own life. "He loves us both… And you have every right to call him your dad."

"Will you ever call him dad?"

"I don't know… We have things we need to talk about, things to work out."

"Oh." Liam responded, before he stopped to pause, as though he was pondering what Connor had just told him before he shrugged. "I think that you should forgive him. He asked me to forgive him. It's not hard." Connor just smiled and pulled his little brother into a hug, there wasn't any way he could respond to that.

They were both quiet after that. Connor thinking carefully about what Liam had just told him. How could a kid that age offer such insight? How could something that monumental be so easy for him? He was envious of that, jealous that the world had yet to tarnish his innocence. The silence was broken however as the door opened and Dawn came though, dropping a few of her bags on the ground before joining them in the family room.

"YAY! Auntie Dawn is here! Now we can go swimming!!" Liam jumped up excitedly, grabbing Connors hand and pulling him off the couch.

"When was this decided?" She asked, raising her eye brows.

"When you were gone. Let's go!" He said smiling as he pulled them both into his room so they could get their things and go down to the pool.

**A/N:  
**

**Okay, kind of a different chapter but I'm setting things up... (1) If they are going to find a charm/spell to use on Liam to protect him (2) Willow's emotional search to find her true feelings, I've already given you a hint as to who she believes is the love of her life (3) Connor's reason for his feelings toward Angel, why things are the way they are now... So... I hope that you liked this chapter! As usual I want to thank everyone who keeps adding this to their favorites/alerts and for everyone who takes the time to comment! I love, love, love hearing what you say! One of the things I'd like to know is if everyone is okay with the pacing of the story? And if people like the way it's going. I just feel that this isn't a short story like a few of my others have been, it's complicated, there are a lot of things that need to be worked out before the story can end... Anyways! Let me know and I look forward to hearing from you!**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty-Three

Willow tried to keep her eyes down on the book that was in front of her but she couldn't help but let her eyes wander over to where Buffy and Angel were sitting. He had his arm draped over her shoulder, a book sitting between their laps as they both looked down on it. Though it was in Latin, he translated it for her, whispering the words softly into her ear to so not disturb the others in the room. It was intimate and yet she couldn't tear her eyes away from the scene. As she watched, she couldn't help but feel envious. True, she was ecstatic for her friend, she, above anyone else, deserved to be happy, but part of her wished it was her there. No, not with Angel, but at that point, anyone would have done. She felt lonely, and the two of them only seemed to make it more palpable.

Giles had called earlier in the afternoon but he hadn't been able to tell them anything they already didn't know. It was disappointing at best; with his extensive resources, they had hoped that he would have found something almost immediately. However, he promised to still look, though they knew he was busy with other things, like trying to figure out who it was that the Master had sired in secret. Still, he understood the repercussions, he knew that they would have less time if the evil that was after Liam was able to determine where they were before they were ready.

She sighed, and closed her eyes, resting her head on the book for a little while. Her eyes stung, from what she assumed had been the countless hours spent staring at the book before her. Even the words were no longer making sense, just a blur of letters, in a language that was starting to make absolutely no sense at all. She tried hard to ignore the sting and instead to concentrate on her own thoughts, to push everything out if even only for a few moments.

_They were standing in the classroom. Since the incident with Xander, things had been, well, tense, if best. But standing there, looking at him, all she wanted to do was tell him how much she wanted him, how much she loved him. All she wanted to do was start over, to make things better. _

"_Okay. The thing is… seeing you with Xander, it was… Well, I never felt that way before… when it wasn't a full moon… but I know you guys have a history." He started._

"_But it's a history that's in the past. Well, I-I guess most history is in the past. But it's over."_

"_Well, I don't know. I don't know that it… ever will be between you two." _

"_Oz, please believe me." It felt like having your heart ripped from your chest. All she wanted was him, it had taken all that time to figure it out but now that she knew, all she wanted was to give herself to him completely._

"_This is what I do know: I miss you. Life, every second. Almost like I lost an arm, or worse, a torso. So, I think I'd be willing to… give it a shot." _

"_Really?" She was hopeful, and she wanted to smile, to smile brightly but she was afraid that if she did he would take it back. _

"_Yeah." _

"_Do you want us to… to hug now?" _

"_Yeah, I'm good for that." He said, moving closer and letting her pull him into a hug. She closed her eyes and said a little prayer, happy that it seemed things were better, so thankful that he was giving her a second chance._

"Willow?" She heard her voice followed by a gentle shaking of her shoulders. Startled she sat straight up, knocking the head of whomever it had been that had been trying to rouse her. As she turned behind her, she saw Angel rubbing his forehead, causing her to blush furiously.

"Angel… God I'm sorry!" She responded as she felt her cheeks burn with the heat of embarrassment. "I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry!"

"Don't worry about it. I didn't mean to scare you." He said softly, dropping his hand from his forehead as he dropped the book that he and Buffy had been looking at before she had drifted off into her dreamland onto the table, the page marked. She could still feel the heat in her cheeks as he looked down at her, concerned. It wasn't like her to fall asleep like that.

"What did you find?" She asked finally, rubbing her eyes one last time, noting that maybe the rest had done her some good, at least the words weren't one big jumbled on the page.

"I'm not sure…" He responded, his voice soft but she could without a doubt her the mixture of concern and hope. He put his finger on the page, running it over the words as he muttered them again under his breath. She could barely hear him but she read along with him. When he finished he took a step back. "I know it's not perfect… But I know what you're capable of… You're strong Willow." She felt his hand on her shoulder, his gesture of letting her know that it wasn't a criticism, but something that he thought would be an asset. "I also know, from what Buffy has told me, that you are still worried about harnessing that power… So I understand."

"I'm just not sure…" She said softly, her eyes still on the words on the page. It was true, it was the closest they had come to a spell that would protect Liam, but it still wasn't perfect. The fact that it would only protect him for a few days was one thing, the other was that the phrasing was a bit off. Still, she knew what Angel was asking her to do, what Buffy was asking her to do and she wasn't sure she wanted to take that chance on their young son.

"I wouldn't ask you if I…" He paused before looking over at Buffy who nodded at him. "If we didn't think you were capable of it. We trust you."

"Maybe you shouldn't."

"No… We should."

"But…"

"Willow…" Buffy finally spoke up as she stood from the couch that she had been sitting on with Angel and began to make her way over to the table. She sat down across from her best friend, trying to catch her eye. It took a few minutes but she finally acquiesced and looked up. "I wouldn't ask you to do something that I didn't think you were capable of. You of all people should know that. I wouldn't ever put you in a situation that I didn't think you could handle. I know what's at stake."

"It's just… He's so young and if something goes wrong…"

"I have the upmost faith in you." Buffy continued, cutting her off. She watched as Angel walked around to where she was sitting, placing his protective hand on her shoulder.

"We both have faith in you." He emphasized.

Willow sighed, she knew that they didn't have any other choice. This had been the best piece of information that they had come across all day and it was crucial that they did something before it was too late. It still wasn't something she was looking forward to doing. Practicing was something that she hadn't done in a while, at least not to the extent that the spell that they had found was asking of her. She dabbled here and there, but she still was worried that she might let the dark side take over her if she immersed herself in it as she once had.

"I'll do it…" She agreed, forcing a small smile on her face as she watched as Buffy and Angel smiled at each other, both hoping that this would be the answer to their problems, at least if only for the time being. "I have one condition." They both looked at her, neither bothering to ask what it was, they knew her response was only a few moments away. "I need to be alone… I can't have anyone watching me… I'm nervous enough as it is and if I have an audience I'm just afraid that it will only intensify that."

"I understand." Buffy responded, almost immediately as she jumped from her seat, Angel's hand sliding off her shoulder but she didn't seem to notice, and ran over to her red-headed friend and wrapped her arms around her. "Thank you Willow."

"Only for you…" She said softly, hugging her back.

_Later That Night…_

"Mommy?" Liam said softly as he walked into the room. It was dark but he could see her standing there. As he looked around the room he could see his Aunt Willow sitting on the floor, one lit candle cast a soft flicker of light in the room, enough so he could see that there were a few unlit candles as well. He was confused, everyone seemed to be standing there, as if they were waiting for something to happen."What's going on?"

"Don't worry about that Liam. Come here." She said, smiling, hopeful that this was going to be the answer to her prayers right now. All she wanted was for this to work, to be sure that tonight he would finally get a good night's rest, not plagued with the nightmares that had been occurring almost every night for the past few months.

He ran over to her, sticking close to her. He had seen things before, he wasn't oblivious to the fact that his family was different than others. He had seen the pointy things that his mom kept around the house, had seen the strange books that filled their bookshelves. But, this was new to him, he had never seen this before, as though they were preparing for something beyond his understanding. As he looked up to his mother, he saw her looking down at him, her hand finding his hair and she tangled her fingers in it.

"I need something of his… A few strands of hair would be perfect." Willow said as she looked to Buffy, who nodded.

"Okay, this might hurt a little bit." She said softly, kneeling down so she was almost face to face with her son. Her fingers were still laced in his hair and she tugged on a few strands quickly, pulling them out and watching as he winced slightly. She smiled at him before dropping a kiss on his head and standing back up to give Willow the hair.

"You should take him out… It shouldn't really effect him, there might be a moment of daze for him when the spell finally works. He might freeze up for a moment but other than that, there shouldn't be anything to worry about. I would just prefer that he was a little ways away from here in case something backfires." Willow said, as she put the hair that Buffy had handed her on a plate that was on the floor.

"We can do that." Angel said softly, walking over to where Liam was standing. His eyes were focused on the boy, and although he had been almost excited when they had found the spell, now all he could think about was his concern, concern that the spell would, as she had just mention, backfire and everything would go wrong. He felt that he hadn't had enough time with him, and part of him was always worried that something might take him away. He had gone through that once already, when Holtz had stolen Connor, he wasn't sure he could let that happen again. Not now that he was being given a second chance.

"Where are we going?" Liam asked, looking up at Angel who had reached down, his hands under the boys arms as he lifted him up into the air, bringing him closer to his chest.

"Are you hungry?" Xander spoke for the first time. His plan had been to stick around. Though Willow had wanted everyone to leave, he knew that someone had to stay around, to make sure that everything remained under control. He would leave the room, would leave her to herself, but he didn't want to leave the apartment.

"Kinda." Liam shrugged, placing a hand on Angel's arm and then leaning his head on his broad shoulder.

"Why don't we go get something to eat." Buffy spoke as she walked over to them, admiring the way Angel looked as he held their son. She wasn't sure she would ever get over how great the scene looked before her, how happy she was when she saw it. He looked like a natural, and, had she been an outsider looking in, she never would have guessed that they had only started to become the family that they were meant to be.

They said a brief goodbye to Willow and Xander before leaving the apartment. Spike and Pike had already taken Connor and Dawn to the restaurant where they had agreed to meet up. Buffy was still tense though. True she was happy that they had found something, and although she trusted Willow, she couldn't help but worry that things could go wrong. He was such a young child, and although they had performed a small spell on him the night prior, this was much more than a simple spell. This was a spell that Willow had to manipulate, she had to take something and mold it into what they needed.

"It will be okay." Angel said softly, sensing her apprehension, though he too had his reservations about what was happening. True, they had all agreed on it, they knew that it was the only option that they had but that didn't make it any easier, it didn't make him any less scared that something would go wrong. It was something that would always be in the back of his mind, at least, until they knew if it worked or not.

_During dinner…_

"How is that?" Angel asked as he looked at Liam who was digging into his fish and chips. It caused Angel to smile slightly, he wasn't a very proper eater and as he looked down the table, he guessed that he had picked that up from Xander who, if his memory served him properly, was one who liked to devour his good.

"Good." Liam responded after swallowing. Angel found himself thanking the heavens that at least Buffy had taught him not to speak with his mouth full.

Almost after he had spoken however, he dropped the French fry that he held in his hands and seemed to go rigid, causing all eyes at the table to stare at him. Buffy leaned over placing her hand on his shoulder as she watched his eyes glaze over. She tried to remain calm, she knew that it was probably because Willows spell working, but part of her was filled with dread, a dread that it wasn't a result of Willow but rather a result of whomever it was that was after him.

"Is it?" She found herself saying softly as Angel stood up from his seat and walked over to the other side where Buffy and Liam had been sitting. Connor kept his eyes peeling on Angel, watching the interaction, wanting to say something but feeling out of place.

"I think it's working." Angel responded as he turned Liam's face and looked into his eyes. He could see why Buffy had been worried. Liam had been sitting there now for a few minutes, his eyes not moving, not blinking, his breathing was shallow and slow, and it almost seemed as though something was possessing him. After the night that they had had, he only figured that she was worried that it was the same problem, after all, his actions did seem to mimic those of the ones he had while he had been sleeping.

Connor reached across the table and placed a hand on the one Buffy had left on the table causing her to look his way. It was the only form of comfort that he could give her but he wanted her to know that he was there, that he was worried, and that he understood. She gave him a small smile, one that she knew was fake, one that he knew was fake, but it was all that could be expected.

"What's going on?" Dawn asked, her eyes shifting towards Connor. But no one had the chance to respond to her because as soon as the words came from her mouth, Liam began to blink.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" He asked quietly, unaware that anything had even happened to him.

Buffy let out a sigh of relief as she closed her eyes, allowing herself to finally catch her breath, to feel a bit of the relief flood though her body. Though he had only been catatonic for about five minutes, those five minutes felt like hours. But now, she knew that whatever Willow had done must have helped, otherwise he wouldn't have gone as rigid has he had.

"Because you're so darn cute!" She smiled, leaning over and kissing his cheek before stealing one of his fries, watching the look of protest in his eyes.

"Angel why are you standing?" He questioned, as he turned to his other side to see his father standing tall above him.

"I um… I was going to the bathroom." He responded, breathing his own sigh of relief as he ruffled Liam's hair before walking towards the back of the restaurant where he had seen the sign for the bathroom. Although he didn't have to go, he knew that Buffy didn't want Liam to know what was going on, that she didn't want to worry him and in the middle of that moment, he couldn't think of anything else to say.

Connor stood up from the table, excusing himself as he placed the napkin that had been resting on his lap on the chair. Buffy looked at him quizzically, but he didn't seem to notice, he only had one thing on his mind and that was talking to Angel. He followed him to the back, assuming that he was only just going to stand there for a little while and as he drew closer, he saw that that was the case.

Angel was standing near the lobster tank, looking into it almost intently, as though he was contemplating their lives. In that moment Connor seemed to have a moment of clarity; he could see the look of concern on Angel's face, he could tell that he wasn't staring at the lobsters thinking about their lives, he was merely looking past them, his mind miles away from reality. It wasn't until he cleared his throat that Angel finally realized that he wasn't alone anymore and as he turned his head he saw Connor standing there…

**A/N:  
**

**It's been a while since I've left you with a bit of a cliff hanger and I figured a small one would be okay... So... What's Connor going to say to him? Dun Dun Dun... I realize that I've kind of put Pike in the background so I'm going to try and bring him up more... And as you can see, things are progressing with Willow... Now that we have Liam in a more secure state for now, she is going to start pondering aloud... Her mind has been pondering for her but it's time for her to talk aloud about it... So you can expect to see a conversation between her and Buffy soon... And... I bet the evil that's after Liam is going to be angry, seeing as he cannot get into his mind anymore! So that should be addressed soon...**

With that said... I hope that you liked the chapter! I know it's a little bit later than I usually post but I've been swamped (I've got an close reading essay due on Friday and an Environmental Law test next Tuesday)... Still, I love this story and I couldn't wait to post! And for those of you who read my other stories, this is for you: I deleted Asking For Trouble because I'm re-writing it... You can find the started version now posted and it's called Flirting With Disaster... Just wanted to get the word out!

So as always, I wanted to thank everyone for reading and extra special thanks to everyone who takes the time to comment! As I'm sure you know by now! I appreciate it a lot and as I'm writing I think about you guys and try and figure out what you might want to read about! So... Keep sending them my way and I'll keep sending chapters your way! 


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four

Angel was shocked to see Connor standing there looking at him. He hadn't really expect anyone to follow him so for a brief moment he felt panicked that something had happened to Liam and that was why he had come after him. But as he looked closer at his first born, he could tell that that just wasn't the case. There was a softer look in his eyes, one that hadn't been there when he saw him yesterday and he couldn't quite understand where this change had come from. He was afraid to talk, afraid that if he did, the moment that was passing between the two of them would stop and that wasn't something he was ready to deal with. The day had been stressful, and the last thing he wanted was for more drama to enter into the day, not when they still had Liam to worry about.

Connor spoke first, breaking the silence as he looked down, shuffling his feet for a bit. "I was thinking…" He stopped to pause for a minute, trying to gain the courage that had only a few minutes ago been pulsing though his body. He watched as Angel just stared at him, waiting for him to finish. "I was thinking that maybe we could talk… Tonight? After dinner if you aren't busy?"

Angel tried hard to contain his excitement, his son was coming to him. The past day had been so tense and here he was, standing there in front of him asking if they could talk. However, the elation seemed to fade as he realized that it was possible that he might not have good news, that he might tell him that he no longer wanted to be a part of his life. He could feel the tension in his body return, first Liam… Now Connor… He wasn't sure how much of this he could take in one day.

"Yeah… Okay. We can do that…" He found himself struggling not to stutter, to remain calm, but it wasn't until Connor nodded at him and turned around to head back to the table that he let out the breath that he had been holding in.

Angel walked into the bathroom this time, not ready to head back to the table. He stood there in front of the mirror, looking at his reflection. He reached over and turned the faucet on, running his hands under the water for a minute before leaning down and splashing some on his face. The cool water felt good on his hot skin, and though it wasn't a permanent relief from the feelings, at least it was something for the time being. He had been looking forward to a quiet night, a night alone again with Buffy, well, if she wanted that, but he knew that if Connor wanted to talk, he wouldn't deny him of that.

After drying his face off, he left the bathroom and walked back to the table where they had all almost finished their plates. Buffy looked to be on her second glass of wine, and being that it was the second night in a row that she had done that, he figured that she had the same things on her mind that he had only a few moments ago. He hoped that she could wait for him. He knew she would understand, it had been her who had urged them to talk, at least, he had assumed that she had urged Connor to come talk to him.

As soon as he sat down he felt a foot hear his leg and he looked up to see her smiling at him. He leaned his head as he felt her foot slide up the leg of his pants just a little, feeling the sole of her foot press against his calf. It was with that action that he knew she was thinking about the same thing that he was and he didn't want to tell her that he was going to have a conversation with Connor because at that moment, all he wanted to do was leave with her and take her back to that bedroom and lock themselves in there for the rest of the night.

When the waiter brought the check, he slipped his credit card into the folder and watched as the table dispersed, leaving only Buffy, Connor, Dawn, Liam and himself to wait for the receipt and once it had, Buffy smiled at him suggestively. It took everything in his power to not tell Connor that they could talk later, but he wasn't going to mess things up with him again. He wanted to make things better and if he ditched him for Buffy, it wasn't going to happen that way.

"Hey Buffy…" He started as they all stood up from the table after the waiter had brought the receipt. She looked at him for a moment, as she lifted Liam from the high chair. "I'm going to go have a drink with Connor and talk for a bit. I'll see you back at the apartment?"

She smiled, looking from Angel to Connor, happy that they might finally be working things out. "Of course. I need to get Liam ready for bed anyways."

He walked over to her and kissed her softly good bye. He knew that she would have to give Liam a bath, and then she would probably read him a story so as soon as he was back at the apartment in an hour he would still be able to say goodnight to him as well. He pulled away and walked over to Connor, absentmindedly putting his hand to his back before taking it away as he realized that the gesture might have been too intimate for the current status of their relationship. The walk to the wine bar was quiet, neither men saying anything to one another, only looking around at their surroundings, both uncomfortable. Angel just wanted things to be like they had been before everything had happened in LA, he wanted that afternoon back.

When they got to the bar, they ordered a drink and sat down, both taking a few sips of their drinks, both unsure as to where to start. It had been a long time coming and as they sat there, it just seemed like the tension between them continued to brew and would only grow thicker until one of them gathered the courage to talk. Yet neither did, and they continued to sit there though one whole glass before order another. It had been fifteen minutes, and one glass of wine and they were still stuck in their places, both unrelenting, each waiting for the other to speak first.

"I…" Angel started, realizing that they were only just going to sit there unless one of them made the first move… "I um… I should apologize, for not telling you that I was alive… For not keeping in contact with you. I can't imagine what it was like to just have Buffy show up on your front door, looking for me. Especially when you probably assumed that I hadn't made it out."

Connor couldn't look him in the eyes, he kept his eyes down on the table. "I thought that things were different between us, you know… And then when she showed up at my door, I had no idea what to think. Had it not been for the pictures that I had seen in your apartment, and from the stories that Cordy told me, I never would have believed her. It's not like you ever spoke of her."

"I know… I guess for so long I never thought that I would have had the opportunity to be with her… To be with her like this. I don't know what she's told you… If she's hashed out our entire soap opera of a relationship. I just thought that if I didn't talk about her, if I tried to forget about her, that it would make the pain that I felt every day that I was away from her subside."

"She told me… At least I'm pretty sure she told me the whole thing. The thing is… You left her a mess… And for someone who just told me that you wanted to be with her for that long… Why? I mean, why did you leave her once you were given the chance?"

"I didn't want her to see me like that… Low… Weak… It wasn't that I didn't care about her, it's that I just couldn't be there… I know that she only wanted to take care of me but… I had spent my life, protecting her… Because my life didn't start until she came into it. And with me… With me like I was… I couldn't… I couldn't let her see me like that."

"Don't you understand that she doesn't care about that?"

"I didn't at the time. No. But this isn't about Buffy… This is about you and me Connor…"

"I want to trust you again… I do… And I know that everything you've done , you've done for a reason. At least, that's what Buffy told me and I trust her, I believe her… It's just hard. I find myself resenting you sometimes. Resenting that you made the decisions you made without regard for those who would be affected by them."

"You are completely entitled to those feelings. I don't want to tell you that you aren't. I just want to try and make things better… I've made mistakes Connor… I've made a lot of them. I just want to be given the chance to make it up to you, to Buffy, to Liam… I know that I don't deserve it… I know that you have every right to get up right now and walk out of here, cursing the day that I ever brought you into this world… But I've learned from my mistakes, and I want to make things right." He could feel himself almost pleading to the son that was sitting across from him but he was honest, everything that was coming out of his mouth was the truth and he didn't know what it was that was prompting him to talk so candidly, but he knew that if he kept it inside, if he never told him everything, that he would regret it. He had to make him see that he wanted him in his life.

"How do I know that you aren't going to just up and leave again? And this time you'd be leaving behind more than just Buffy, more than just me… You'd be leaving behind a four and a half year old that likens you to a hero. Maybe he hasn't said it yet but I can see the way he looks at you." Connor said, for the first time finding the courage to look him in the eyes. "I don't want to see him get hurt."

"I understand. And I don't want to hurt him. Or you, or Buffy. Ever again."

"I'm willing to try… To try and put this past us."

"I want that." Angel said softly, noticing for the first time since they had begun their conversation that his second glass of wine was finished.

"Me too." Connor responded. It was silent after that, they were both talked out and Angel paid the bill and they walked silently back to the apartment. Though neither said anything, they both knew that they were turning another page in their relationship, both hoping that they felt the same way in the morning.

_Meanwhile…_

Willow lay on her bed, exhausted after working the spell. It had taken more out of her than she had anticipated, more than she had wanted. And though she said she had wanted to be alone, she was thankful that Xander had stuck around. At least someone would have been there just in case. Still, every time she had to work magic beyond the structured walls that she had put up, she grew anxious; worried that one spell might send her spiraling down the wrong path again.

She closed her eyes and snuggled into the pillows. She wanted to sleep but she couldn't help but worry what her dreams would bring. Already she had had two distant memories and yet they all seemed to lead to the same conclusion; her subconscious was screaming at her to find Oz. But she couldn't, she didn't think it was right. How could you go looking for someone who after all those years you hadn't spoken to. It wasn't like they had even left on great terms. She sighed, she couldn't spend the rest of her life afraid to sleep because of what she might dream about, so instead, she closed her eyes.

"_Hi Willow…" She heard her soft voice break through the silence, and as she looked around she realized that she had no idea where she was. The room was dark, so dark that she couldn't see anything, so the noise had startled her almost but she knew who it belonged to. _

"_Tara?" She questioned, her voice barely audible. But upon saying her name it was as though the lights went on and she realized that she wasn't in a room at all. She was standing on a beach. It felt so real, the feel of the sand between her toes, the wind blowing through her hair, the smell of the salty ocean air. In the distance she could see her dead lover walking towards her, wearing a white dress. "What's going on?" _

"_I know that you're struggling with things right now…" She spoke. It seemed like she was so close, her voice surrounding her and yet, she was still far away, walking slowly along the beach. "It's one of the reasons that I've sent you the dreams that you've been having. You can't keep feeling sorry for yourself Willow." _

"_I don't…" She knew it was a lie before the words had even slipped from her lips. _

"_I've never questioned your love for me… And, I'm glad that I died knowing that you were there… That I, if even for a slight moment held your heart, but I wasn't the person you were suppose to spend the rest of your life with. And I know you know it." Tara started, and Willow watched as she walked closer. She was close enough now for her to reach out and touch and yet she couldn't, she kept her hands to her side, unsure as to what was really happening. "I'm just trying to help you be happy…" _

"_I am happy." _

"_Willow… I know you better than that." Willow looked up and saw Tara smiling at her and she couldn't help but smile back. She always had that affect on her, it was one of the things that she had loved so much about her. "I think we both know that you aren't really a lesbian Willow. At least, not completely gay, and that's okay. It doesn't make what we had any less special. You're running away from something because you're afraid to get hurt again. You just need to admit it." _

"_What could I possibly be running away from?"_

"_When you found Oz with Veruca, it tore you up inside. And after he left… Come on Willow… It doesn't take a genius to figure this out. I know I'm the big knowledge woman and all… But I know you know what I'm getting at too. It's not like you've been good at hiding it." _

"_Yes… Oz leaving broke my heart but that doesn't mean anything. I've moved on…"_

"_Have you?"_

"_YES!" _

"_When you're ready to stop lying to yourself… Then you'll find the happiness that has always been waiting for you just around the corner." _

"_What does that mean? Why are you talking in riddles?" But it was dark again, and Tara was gone, and she was left in the dark room._

Willow woke slowly, thankfully it wasn't as much of a startle as the other dreams had been. But as she looked around she had even forgotten that she had been sleeping. The dream had felt so real, she could hear, see, feel, smell everything that had been around her and yet, once she opened her eyes, all she could see was darkness of her bedroom. And just as she had felt in the dream, she realized that she was still, all alone.

_Meanwhile…_

"Hi…" Buffy said softly as she watched Angel walk into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him softly. "Did you get to say goodnight to Liam?"

He nodded and walked over to her, bringing her into his arms as he buried his head into her long blonde hair. "Thank you…" He murmured. "I owe you so much."

"I take it your talk went well." She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his body against her own.

"It did… And I have you to thank for that…" He pulled away just a bit so that he could look down at her. He let his eyes capture hers and he felt himself swimming in their emerald green pools.

"Well… It just so happens that I can think of exactly how you could make it up to me…" She grinned, her fingers playing with the hair on the back of his head just for a moment before she pulled his head down closer to hers, letting their lips touch.

"Is that so?" He smiled as he dropped small, soft kisses on her lips.

"Uh-huh." She giggled, just before he deepened the kiss and she jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist and letting him carry her to the bed.

**A/N:**

So, I hope that you enjoyed the Angel/Connor talk... Things still aren't going to be all peachy between them... I also want to add that in the next few chapters I will be focusing more on Willow and her emotional search... There will probably be more dreams with Tara trying to show her what she is too stubborn to see for herself. And then of course, she will finally have a talk with Buffy about it all... But that's to come later... There will be a cameo of my big bad soon as well... So be excited!

I know I said I wouldn't be posting today but I finished things earlier and I was really excited to write so as soon as I finished I got to writing this chapter! And like I said, I hope you liked it! As always, thank you to everyone who continues to read and especially to those who always leave me feedback! I always love hearing what you have to say! Can't wait to see what you think of this chapter!


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

Angel stirred, unable to find sleep, and unsure as to why this was happening. It had been a pleasant night, great even. He had finally spoken with Connor and although things were not fully resolved, they had seemed to find some kind of middle ground on which he was hoping they could build their relationship on, Liam had not woken from a night mare which meant Willows spell had worked, and he had spent three hours showing Buffy just how much he loved her. He turned over onto his side so that he was facing her, she had fallen asleep quickly, wrapped up in his arms but had moved away slightly as the night progressed and she slept and he remained awake.

He kept his eyes on her, moving his hand towards her face so he could brush aside the golden locks that had fallen across her eyes in her sleep. She stirred slightly but he kept still and found that she only moved closer to him, snuggling into the warmth of his body. Though he was tired, he could feel his body's reaction to hers as she pressed herself closer to him. He closed his eyes, hoping that the feeling would pass and he would fall asleep.

His plan however was thwarted when he felt Buffy begin to thrash as she slept next to him, making him sit straight up in bed. He turned to her and pulled her up into his arms, waking her up in the process, feeling her arms as they clung to his neck. He hadn't seen her that vulnerable in years, hadn't seen her that shaken up over a dream in such a long time.

"It's okay…" He said softly, rubbing her back as she began to sob onto his chest. He could feel her wet tears as they feel from her eyes onto him, trailing down his torso. "Love, it's okay, I'm here."

"It was Liam…" She whimpered, her sobs making it hard for him to fully make out what she was saying, so he continued to rub her back, planting gentle kisses on the crown of her head as she continued to try and pull herself closer to him. Her body shook from the force of the breakdown that she was having and he reached down and pulled the sheet up over her bare body before rocking her back and forth as he pulled her into his lap.

She continued to clutch onto him, and he couldn't help but worry. She wasn't one to be this clingy, this needy and here she was, unable to let go. Granted, it didn't matter to him, he wanted her to know that she could do this, that he would be there. He was more thankful now than he ever had been that he had come back when he had. The last thing he ever would have been able to live with was knowing that she had gone through this alone. She had stopped crying and he thought it might be time to ask her what was wrong, what she had dreamed about.

"What was it?" He asked softly, still rocking her softly in his arms, his chin resting lightly on the top of her head.

"I… I…" She stuttered, and he could hear the tears starting to come back. "I had a dream that we got to him too late… That he was dead on the floor… And there was nothing we could do about it…"

Angel felt as though his heart had stopped beating and he was unable to breathe, unable to do anything but clutch her tightly to his body. He wanted to run and check to make sure that Liam was still tucked soundly in his bed but he was afraid to leave her alone. He pulled away from her for a moment and walked to the closet, grabbing a clean pair of boxers and pulling them on, along with a shirt before he grabbed something for her. As he walked to the bed, he observed as she lay there, her body molded into the fetal position. He wanted to cry, he could feel it stirring inside of him but he couldn't, he had to stay strong for her, he needed to be the strong one this time.

He pulled her back into his arms and kissed her forehead. "Put these on, I'm going to get Liam and have him sleep in here again…" He watched as she nodded, and he kissed her forehead one last time before leaving the room and walking down the hall to Liam's. He could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest, afraid that he would peer through the door to find that his son was no longer sleeping there, that someone had taken him from them as they slept.

His fear however dissolved as he saw his tiny frame, curled up in the same position that he had been in when he had said goodnight. Quietly, he walked closer to him, and sat down on the bed, his hand touching him as he shook him awake, watching as he sat up, his eyes still heavy with sleep as he looked around, confused.

"Wha's going on?" He asked, his voice weak, and sleepy.

"Mommy wanted me to bring you to our room tonight again." Angel said softly, watching as Liam crawled onto his lap, needing no other explanation. He wrapped his arms around Angel's neck and waiting for him to stand up. Though he should have been use to his son's affection, it still took him by surprise each time he felt Liam snuggle into his body and it took a moment before he realized what was happening and wrapped his arms around the boys body and standing up. He felt Liam's head fall to his shoulder, obviously asleep once again and as he turned to the door he found that Connor was standing there, looking straight at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked, and Angel could tell that he had only just woken up. "Did he have a dream again?"

Angel could hear the concern in Connors voice. "I'm sorry if I woke you… No… Buffy did, with him in it… And it wasn't pleasant. I think she's afraid that it's a prophetic dream…"

"She gets those still?"

"Occasionally…"

"Do they always come true?"

"Usually…" Angel sighed, hoping that the dream that she had was not in fact one of her prophetic dreams but rather a manifestation of her worst fears. He held Liam closer to his body, hoping that he could make it all go away, that if he held on long enough, hard enough, that no one would ever be able to take him away.

"If you need anything…" Connor started but Angel cut him off.

"I know… Thank you Connor, it does mean a lot to know that you are here… Helping to look after him." He said softly, his free hand rubbing Liam's back.

Connor just nodded and went back to his place on the couch that he was sharing with Dawn. Angel watched for a moment as his eldest slid under the covers before walking back to the room, finding that Buffy was standing by the window, glad in the oversized shirt that he had grabbed for her. Even with everything that was happening he still couldn't help but notice that seeing her took his breath away. She did that to him every time.

"Was he okay?" She whispered softly, her gaze still on the street below them.

"Yeah, he's good. He's asleep again." He responded, laying Liam down on the bed and covering him with the blankets before walking over to Buffy, wrapping his arms around her waist and dropping a kiss on her neck. "Come on… Let's get you back to bed."

"I don't want to sleep…" She whimpered, trying to fight back the tears that were fighting to roll down her cheeks again. "I don't want to dream anymore… I don't want to see the things that I do when I close my eyes, because now that's all I can see."

He turned her around, pulling her into his arms. "You have to sleep sweetheart. He's okay… Everything is going to be okay. I won't let anything happen to him, or you." He felt her nod into his chest and he led her to the bed, watching her get in before he walked to the other side and followed suit, Liam moving close to him, his small head resting against the top of his rib cage, while Buffy's head seemed to rest as close to his shoulder as she could get it. He kissed both their heads softly, and rubbed Buffy's shoulder until he heard the change in her breathing, allowing him too to close his eyes and drift off to sleep.

_Meanwhile…_

Dawn turned to face Connor. She could tell that he was distraught but at the same time she didn't want to push him if he didn't want to open up. Reaching across the sofa bed, she touched his arm, feeling his warm skin against the pads of her finger tips. For the first time since knowing him, she found herself drawn to him, a desire stirring deep within her. She shuddered at the thought, it just seemed wrong to her, to be attracted to someone who, if her sister and his father did end up spending forever with each other, would become her nephew.

"Is everything okay?" She braved the silence, pushing the thought as far from her mind as she could to focus not on him but on the situation. They had heard Buffy sobbing from the bedroom, it had actually been what had woken them both up and when they heard the door open and Connor mentioned that Angel had gone into Liam's room, she had watched as he stood up and made his way over to the room. She had heard bits and pieces of the conversation though her hearing was not as good as Connors, so what she heard hadn't been of much use, but she could tell that whatever it had been had affected Connor as his body seemed tense.

"Buffy had a dream… And not a good one at that."

Dawn felt her body stiffen as well. She knew what that meant and it sent a chill down her spine and it seemed as though her insides had turned to ice. "What was it about?"

"Angel didn't say really but guessing by the sobs in the bedroom it wasn't a pretty outcome." He whispered, pausing for a minute. "I'm assuming that it had to do with Liam, I can't understand why he would have gone to get him and bring him into their room if it hadn't been about him."

"You don't think he was dead do you?" She shuddered again as she said the word dead… Her nephew was so young, so untouched by the world and it terrified her that he might not be able to see much more… Though she had faith in her sister as well as in Angel, parts of her couldn't help but be worried that this time around they would not come out victorious. Statistics usually showed that one could not always remain on the top of the pack and she was afraid that this fight might be the one that would take them down, that would show them that they were not as invincible as they had been in the past.

"That's exactly what I think… What I'm worried about…" He responded, his voice soft and low.

_Meanwhile..._

"The time is drawing closer…" Whistler said into the phone, and Pike listened, his eyes scanning the book in front of him. "They are getting closer to him and although the spell has stopped things temporarily, they know what is happening… They know that Buffy and Angel are aware of their presence."

"What am I suppose to do about it? I am bound not to tell them who it is! If I say something…" He couldn't finish the sentence, it would become all the more real if he did and right now, there were things that were greater than his destiny, greater than what would face him if he spoke the words that he had been bound never to speak.

"You were a warrior by choice Pike… You chose your destiny, it was never forced upon you." Whistler started. "You were never called by the Council, or the Powers… Your destiny was what you made it. But now, you have a chance at redemption, a chance to make things better."

"I can't…" He sighed. "Do you think I haven't tried? Every time I see her, I try… I can't do it… I can't do it knowing what will happen when I do. I'm not strong enough."

"And you think she won't help you?"

"I think that she will hate me…"

"Though she does have the right to."

"Of course she does… I just… I can't do that. I can change things if I stay. I can make sure that nothing happens."

"No you can't. Each day that passes they come closer and closer… Time is running out. Five months at best."

"I need time… I need time to think."

"Just remember Pike… You have the ability to make this easier on her. If we wait much longer Liam might die."

"I know!" He found himself almost yelling into the phone.

"I'll be in touch." Whistler responded before Pike heard the line go dead…

**A/N:**

I know it's a short chapter so please forgive me for that but I wanted to end it on that note... I know it's getting confusing again and I'm afraid that I probably wont reveal what it is with Pike until I actually know what is happening... As I've said before, I don't really know what each chapter is going to bring until I start to write it and I let my characters play it out. So... Until I really start developing Pike more I won't really know what it is that happened to him... But, with that said. I'm actually excited because it was time to start initiating some drama again, some issues again because they had kind of taken a back seat for a while... Nevertheless, the drama is back and I'm hoping to strike a nice balance between drama and romance/fluff... I still have more to develop with Willow which will, obviously, be fluff.

Anyways, as always I want to thank everyone for their continued support. Without the readers there would obviously be no story! I'd also like to continue to extend my thanks to the readers who are constantly leaving me feedback! I love reading what you have to say! It brightens my day and like I've said before, really makes me want to get chapters out to you as quickly as I can. I hope that you like this chapter! And please, continue to send yor comments my way! Everyone! I would love to get more opinions! Thank you for taking the time to read!


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty- Six

Willow sighed and rolled over onto her side, her eyes glancing at the clock which read eight am. The night had been restless, at best. Each time she found herself closing her eyes all she could see were the images of her dead lover and her ex-boyfriend, both images enough to keep her from sleep. But what bothered her the most was that she couldn't figure out where these feelings were coming from, why, all of a sudden, after all the years that had passed was this finally bubbling to the surface?

She flopped her arms on top of the duvet and looked around the room that she had yet to really decorate. She wasn't really going to do anything to it for a while, at least, not until she was sure that they would be staying here and with everything that had already happened since their arrival, she couldn't help but wonder if they would even still be there by the end of the week. Still, looking around, she couldn't help but feel out of place, not only because it was a new environment but also because she felt that she somehow didn't belong. Part of her wanted Angel and Buffy to have time to themselves, to continue to rekindle the love that they had for each other, and she felt that by being there she was intruding on that time, but she knew she had to be, she was the only one who could cast the necessary spells if something went wrong. She had no other option.

Pushing the cover off her body, she slowly forced herself from the warmth that her body had created, and stood up before walking towards the window. As she looked down she could see the stores opening, well, not opening yet but employee's were beginning to prepare for the day, a few people sat at the restaurants enjoying their breakfasts, but for the most part, the street was quiet. She quickly changed her clothes, throwing on a pair of jeans and a simple black shirt before pulling her jacket over her slender shoulders, hoping that walking on the quiet road would steady her emotions, or at least let her think about them, sort though them and figure out why things were changing at such a rapid pace.

The rest of the occupants of the apartment were still tucked away in their rooms and she was thankful for that. She really didn't want to talk to anyone, she just wanted to be alone. As she stepped out the door she noticed that there was a chill in the air, causing her to absentmindedly pull the jacket closer to her body, trying hard to find the warmth that didn't seem to come. She felt dead, cold and dead, as though some parasite had taken over her and kill everything deep within her. She found herself turning right down the street, remembering that she had seen a coffee shop somewhere around there, hoping that the hot beverage might find a way to warm her insides.

"_I guess that's it. Won't be long now." She said softly, she was distracted but he was there, and somehow, it made it a little more bearable._

"_You nervous?" She could her the concern in his voice, the voice that she loved more than anything else in the world and it was comforting, though it still didn't ease all her tension, though she wished it would._

"_Only in a… terrified way." _

"_We'll make it through this." She wanted to believe him, and though he seemed sure, she wasn't sure if he was only trying to be strong for her._

"_Are you sure?"_

"_I sound pretty sure, don't I?" Sometimes his cryptic words irritated her, but right now, in that moment, it was comforting._

"_Yeah."_

"_Then I must be sure." _

"_Is that just a comforting way of not answering the question?" She watched as he lifted his shoulders slightly, as though he wanted to shrug but he stopped himself, unsure as to if he wanted to give himself away. But he did, with that simple gesture, he did. She wanted to be near him, and she found that they moved closer together, just letting their lips graze for a moment. She felt his hand on the side of her head, stroking her, trying to make her comfortable and she kissed him harder, deeper, not wanting to break the moment that they were having, not wanting to leave his embrace._

"_How long till graduation?" She asked softly, her eyes meeting his own._

"_A little while."_

Maybe it was Angel's presence that was stirring this all up. She had been fine until he came along. It just seemed that it was bring everything from the past back to the surface. Back in those days it had been the four of them, each one giving their partner the strength that they needed to make it though the terrors that faced them in high school. Well, that might not exactly be true, Angelus had obviously been one of those unfortunate evils, but looking back on it all, she wasn't sure Angelus would have ever touched a hair on Buffy's head. At least, in the sense that she wasn't sure that he would ever have killed her, though she hated to admit it, to give it a name, but even the demon had loved her.

She walked into the Pete's Coffee that she had stumbled upon, her eyes glancing toward the menu as she studied it. Decisions like this weren't usually mind-blowing but yet, she felt that if she ordered the wrong thing, that everything would come crumbling apart and she didn't know where these feelings were coming from, how had she gone from being so happy only a few days ago to being so lonely, so depressed, so terrified of what the future was going to bring?

"Nonfat Vanilla Latte." She said softly, handing over her ATM card and watching as the young girl behind the counter swiped it through the machine before handing it back to her. She tucked it neatly in her purse and walked towards the other side, waiting for her drink. Her eyes drifted around the small café, for the early hours she was surprised to see how many people there were there, mainly couples, though there were a few students with their books out, presumably doing their weekend homework. Her eyes darted quickly to the couple in the corner and she sighed. They were stunning to look at, though not in the conventional way, almost as though they didn't fit in, but it was that notion that made them beautiful to look at.

The girl was young, twenty, twenty-one at the oldest; her hair was long and dark, raggy almost, as though she had dared to jump out of bed and not bother to brush her hair. She wore tattered dark jeans, though she couldn't tell, she assumed that they were tight but she was sitting which made it impossible to know. Her shirt was exquisite, hippy chic almost and she figured that it was probably much more costly than it looked. She studied her features, her small, upturned nose, her thin lips that smiled at the boy who held her hand.

Her eyes then glanced to the man and she noted that he was a little older than her, though probably not by much, a year or two at most. He was slightly more kempt than her, his pitch black hair gelled neatly into spikes, his jeans neither tattered nor new, but they appeared well worn. And she looked at his face, the way he looked at her, the way he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Though the shop was bustling as the time ticked on, nothing disturbed them, it was as though they existed in a world all their own.

"Nonfat Vanilla Latte!" The barista shouted, almost startling her, but she turned her eyes from the couple and instead grabbed the cup that was sitting there, all alone. Was the world taunting her? Telling her that she was destined to be there, alone in the world while she watched those around her move on, fall in love, while she stayed there, stuck in the rut that she had dug for herself.

She found her legs carrying her out the door and back down the street, still not having found any more clarity than she had before she had left the apartment. She brought the cup to her lips and sipped from it, feeling the heat as it travelled down her throat, savoring the warmth that it brought.

"_When you're ready to stop lying to yourself… Then you'll find the happiness that has always been waiting for you just around the corner." _

She wasn't sure what Tara had meant, what her dream had meant. True, she knew what it was trying to tell her, and she couldn't deny that she still had strong feelings for Oz, but at the same time she didn't expect him to even think about her anymore, it had been so many years. But what had she meant when she said that happiness was waiting just around the corner? She found an empty bench and sat down, still holding the hot drink in her hands as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back, wishing that she could just block everything out, thinking about it was only creating a headache and it was the last thing that she wanted, the last thing that she needed.

_She found herself in the dark room once again before a bright flash of light took her to a park. She looked down and saw the bright green grass below her feet and she sat down. Her eyes scanned her surroundings and she saw Tara, sitting under a tree, her slender frame leaning against the dark trunk, giving a stunning contrast against the white dress that she was wearing. Willow wanted to go over, she wanted to walk over and sit with her but she shied away from it and instead kept her eyes on her, watching as she stood up and began to walk closer to her before she was sitting down, their knees almost touching. _

"_I was waiting for you." She said softly, watching as Willow pulled a few blades of grass and ran them between her fingers._

"_I know…" She whispered back, not daring to look into her eyes. "I just wasn't sure I was ready for this."_

"_Why are you running from everything? That's not the Willow I know… The Willow I knew."_

"_I'm not the same person anymore. I haven't been in a long time."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because when you lose someone you love, they take a piece of you with them."_

"_Will…"_

"_Between what you and Oz took from me… I'm not sure I'll ever be whole again." She sighed, tugging a few more blades of grass, tying them into knots. "I don't have any more to give."_

"_Maybe you don't have to give anymore of yourself away…"_

" _Why are you speaking in riddles again?"_

"_I'm just saying…"_

"_Why would he still be waiting for me Tara?"_

"_Because I think he knows, just as I know you know deep down, that the two of you are supposed to be together in the end…"_

"_I'm not so sure about that. No one waits around for nine years." _

"_Angel waited for Buffy, and she waited for him. Look at them now."_

"_No one says it's going to last."_

"_I never said that… But don't you owe yourself the chance to know?" Willow didn't respond, she only looked up, letting their eyes meet for the first time. She realized in that moment that her cheeks were wet and she was crying._

"Sorry miss…" She heard someone say to her as she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Miss?"

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at the man who was standing there in front of her. She felt her cheeks blush as she realized that she had fallen asleep there in public.

"I'm sorry I just didn't want to see you lose your things." He gestured to her purse that was sitting there beside her. She had forgotten that it was even there.

"Thank you… I didn't get much sleep last night and I think it's catching up to me now."

"Your welcome." He smiled warmly down at her. "Take care."

She watched as he walked away slowly. Her eyes staring at his back, and wondering how it had been so easy to fall asleep there on that bench but in her own bed she couldn't seem to find sleep. She stood up, taking her purse into her hand and tossing her empty coffee cup into the trash bin before heading back to the apartment, wanting only to crawl between the sheets and find sleep once again.

_Meanwhile…_

Connor woke to the sunlight on his face and as he slowly acclimated to his surroundings he felt Dawn against his side. He felt his heart beat rapidly in his chest as he turned to see her head resting near his shoulder. Though he had always found her attractive, he had never had the chance to really wake up with her that near to him. The night before he had slept in Liam's room after Angel and Buffy had brought him to their bedroom. He felt her leg brush against his and he closed his eyes, breathing deep to try and figure out what his body was doing to him.

He heard one of the bedroom doors open and he sat up, pulling his legs over the edge of the bed and standing up. Watching as Angel emerged from the room, wearing the same boxers and shirt that he had put on when he went to get Liam that night. He watched as he walked to the kitchen and he followed him in there, startling him as he turned the coffee machine on.

"I'm sorry." Connor said softly, not wanting to wake Dawn.

"It's okay." Angel shrugged. "Guess I know how Buffy feels when I pull that stuff on her. She always claims she can't hear me…"

"How is she?" Angel could hear the concern in his voice and it warmed his heart. He was so thrilled that his sons were so close, and he was thankful that Buffy had tracked him down.

"She's okay… I think she's still pretty shaken up over it all but I finally got her to fall asleep, though it wasn't until about three in the morning that she finally did."

"Are you going to be able to find out what the dream meant?"

Angel sighed, his eyes gazing downward. "Probably not. I was thinking about calling Giles, to tell him… She always went to him with her dreams… Or me. When I had been around but I don't know anymore. I don't know who is doing this… And since I'm not graced with dreams like she is… I'm pretty much in the dark."

"Nothing is going to happen to him." Connor stated, a touch of anger in his voice.

"I wish I could be so certain."

"I won't let it happen. WE won't let it happen." He said firmly, ignoring the smell of the coffee that was filling the small kitchen.

"What won't happen?" They heard a little voice interrupt them and they both turned to see Liam standing there, one hand clutching the teddy bear that he always seemed to carry with him around the house and the other hand rubbing his eyes.

"Nothing you need to worry about Lee." Angel said softly, ruffling his hair as he came closer, stopping near his feet. "Where's mommy?"

"Still seeping." He grinned and Angel could see the mischief that twinkled in his hazel eyes, causing him to smile down at his son. "I tried to wake her up but she wouldn't."

"She's tired. Are you hungry?" Liam nodded his head and watched as Angel smiled. "Okay, go wake up your Aunt Dawn and you can watch cartoons while I make pancakes okay?" Liam didn't even respond, and a few minutes later they heard Dawn groan and the bed squeak. Connor looked around the corner and laughed as he watched Liam jumping on the pull out.

"You rascal! I'm tired!"

"Daddy said to come over here and wake you up so I could watch cartoons while he makes pancakes." He hadn't even noticed the slip of the name, that for the first time since Angel had walked into his life that he had finally called him dad. Though Angel, who was still in the kitchen did not hear it either but it didn't slip from Dawns ears and she smiled, looked up, her eyes meeting Connor's who starred at his brother, his mouth open with surprise, not having expected the endearment.

_Meanwhile…_

"Willow?" Xander asked as he walked through the family room. He had already been to her room but he had found that it was empty and though he knew she could take care of herself, he couldn't help but feel slightly worried. Worried that maybe the spell had gone wrong, that maybe it had affected her adversely.

He turned as he heard the door open and watched as she walked in.

"Where have you been?" He asked, their eyes making contact. He could tell that something was wrong, that she wasn't herself, that she was thinking hard about something and he was afraid that she wouldn't open up to him.

"I couldn't sleep so I went out walking… But I'm exhausted now so I think I'm going to try and get a little bit more rest."

"Willow, is everything okay?" He asked, as she started to walk past him. She stopped and turned to face him.

"No… But I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Not even to me?" He was hurt slightly, they never kept secrets from each other.

"I'm just not ready yet…" She said, touching his arm lightly. "I will when I've sorted it out more in my own head."

"Promise?"

"I promise." She said before walking into her room, leaving Xander standing there, all alone.

**A/N:**

Hey guys! I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to update but I've been swamped! And it didn't help that I took a drive to Seattle with my friend on Sunday instead of doing work which only added to my work load. So please forgive me for how long it's taken me to update! Anyways, I'll keep this short and sweet. I wanted to, as always, thank you all for reading and to thank everyone who had taken the time to leave their comments! I love them! I promise to get another chapter out sooner this time! I hope that you liked this chapter... I realize that the mystery around Pike is still there... It will remain there for a while. And Willow is getting closer to her revelation and OMG did Liam call Angel daddy?! Anyways, please continue to send me your thoughts!


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty- Seven

Angel stood at the stove, his mind a thunderous mixture of emotions: anger, regret, concern. He absentmindedly flipped the pancake, his eyes briefly taking only a moment to realize that the first side was a perfect honey gold color. He couldn't help but let his mind take over, he was angry, angry that this was happening and he had no one around to tell him what to expect, correction, he didn't have Cordelia around to tell him what he could expect. He wondered if his body was strong enough, strong enough to be the protector that Liam and Buffy needed. He knew, beyond reasonable doubt that he could have protected them both had he remained a vampire, but now… He hadn't been in a fight since he had defeated the dragon and he wasn't sure that his body was as strong as it had once been, five years of age had taken over his young body.

He poured more batter onto the skillet as he contemplated his options. Could there be any way that he could continue to protect them? Heavy on his mind was his option to go back to the Oracles, as he once had so many years ago, and ask them if they could take it back, if they could reverse the Shanshu. No, he knew that was a stupid thought, Buffy would murder him if he did that, regardless if it was the smart decision, and he wasn't sure that he wanted to go back to being who he was, not after finally having everything he ever wanted, still he couldn't help but think he was being selfish.

"That smells good." He was startled when he felt small, but strong, powerful arms embrace him from behind. He felt the pads of her soft fingertips as she traced the curves of his abdomen through the black shirt that he wore. He stifled the growl that was urging its way out through his vocal cords and placed his free hand on one of her own, securing her hand to his stomach.

"Liam said he was hungry." His voice was short, maybe even curt depending on who was listening but she knew better, she knew that he was worried, that he was just as frightened about the impending danger that lay ahead of them. "When did you wake up?" His voice was softer now; he could feel her warm breath against his shoulder.

"A little bit ago." She shrugged. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing." He flipped a few more perfectly golden pancakes, his eyes not daring to met her own. He felt guilty; guilty for even contemplating what he had been only a few moments before she had walked into the room. It was as though she had been reading this thoughts and for a moment, he could feel the panic rising within his chest.

"I know you better than that. I know when you have a something face and when you have a nothing face and that," She pointed with her finger towards his furrowed brow, "is defiantly a something face."

"I was just evaluating the situation, thinking about our… My options."

"Everything will be okay."

"That's not what it seemed like last night as you clutched to me for dear life." She cringed as he mentioned that. She knew he had the right to but still, the dream had taken her by surprise, she was merely in such a state of deep sleep that she couldn't really process it, making it feel all the more real. How could she get him to understand that?

"It was only a dream."

"A dream that often times has a hidden truth behind it."

"You don't have any options besides staying here with me… With us."

"I can go… I can have the Oracles change me back."

"NO!" She spoke loudly, though not quite the scream that she would have preferred, she didn't want to alarm Liam, or Spike for that matter. This was between them, and she wasn't going to let him go off and make decisions without her anymore. They had a child; they were a family, unconventional, yes, but nevertheless, a family.

"It might be our only option. What if I can't fight like this?"

"I can't let you do that. You can't do that." She was pleading with him now, trying with all her might to get him to face her but even though his body was pointed towards hers, he couldn't let his eyes meet her own, not when he knew that even the mention of what he had said was causing her deep pain. "I can't lose you again, you can't leave me… I need you."

"Who said I was going to leave you?"

"That's inevitable with us." She sighed, fighting hard to keep the tears from running down her cheeks. She was sick of crying, sick of feeling this way, especially when she was suppose to be happy, they were supposed to be happy. Everything that they had ever wanted, ever dreamed of, was right at their fingertips, forever was within grasp.

"How can we be together if the cost is your life? Or Liam's life?" He could feel the tears pool in his own eyes as he finally looked down at her, a flash of recognition coming over her emerald green eyes. He let his hand reach down and touch her warm cheek, savoring the way his warm hand felt against her warm cheek.

"Don't give me that Angel. You are strong. It's not like before. We can fight together and we will get through this. We always do."

"Buffy…" He whispered, leaning down and pressing his cheek against the top of her hair.

"No… Don't tell me that."

"I didn't say anything." He chuckled softly, hoping to alleviate some of the tension that had filled the small kitchen.

"I know what you want to say. And no! I get a say in this god damn it and I'm not going to pick up the pieces again. I can't do it. I'm not strong enough to go through that again."

"I understand Buffy… The last thing I want to do is hurt you again but if it's the right thing to do I can't walk away from that."

"How can it be right if we can't be together?"

"I won't let that happen."

"You say that now… But after you change… Once we deal with whatever it is that we have to deal with, you know that you'll leave… You always leave, telling me that I should have a normal life. I'll hate you forever if you do that. We would have HAD a normal life."

"Shhh…" He whispered, "I'm not going anywhere this time love."

"Please don't do this."

"I haven't made any decisions yet. It's just a passing thought."

"Then squelch that thought and never let it pass through your mind again."

He didn't respond, he couldn't because he knew that if that was one of the only options that would secure a victory, that would be the first thing that he would do. Hurting her was not something that he wanted to do, but watching her get hurt by unseen forces, watching her loose her life, watching his son loose his life, that was something he couldn't sit around and watch, and if he could have done something to prevent that, he would never have been able to forgive himself. Instead, he leaned down and pressed his warm lips to her soft, waiting ones. It was an urgent kiss, one that seemed to convey more than just the love that he had for her, one that almost was seemed to be filled with an unquenched longing mixed with a fear that it would never happen again. They pulled back a few moments later, both panting for air.

"I'll go get Liam." She finally spoke upon catching her breath, kissing him softly once more before retreating from the kitchen, leaving him alone with only his thoughts that continued to roar in his mind.

_A Little While Later…_

Willow woke, her eyes once again looking around the room. She had been distraught to learn that Tara had not visited her in her dreams this time, there were still so many questions she had for her and she was only beginning to realize that the only way that she would ever get those answers would be through sleep. So she braved it, closed her eyes and let the sleep wash over her, unfortunately though, there had been not Tara, no dream. She sighed and pulled herself out of the bed, looking over her shoulder to the clock that told her she had slept well into the afternoon.

The apartment was quiet, leaving her to believe that Pike and Xander may have either gone to Buffy's or instead chosen to spend the day exploring the new territory. A fear washed over her, just a small sense that something was wrong but she chalked that up to her emotions, the emotions that seemed to be taking over her body. She wanted to desperately talk to Buffy but she was afraid that it wasn't the right time. She didn't want to plague her friend with her problems when there were things that were more important.

She walked into the bathroom and turned the water on, letting it warm before stepping into it. The warm water felt good against her tense shoulders and she stood there, letting it cascade down on her for a few moments. She wished that she could stay there forever, wrapped in a makeshift womb that would forever keep her protected and comforted. Though she hated that it seemed she was running from everything, it was only because she was so confused, the conflicting feelings that she was experiencing was not something that she had been use to. In fact, she had been pushing everything deep down within her for so many years now that she wasn't sure that she was the same person that she once was, or if she could ever be that person again. _"When you lose someone you love, they take a piece of you with them."_ She wasn't sure how much of herself existed anymore, if any of it.

Losing Tara had been world shattering, she couldn't deny that, it had been like losing Oz all over again. Both events had been completely out of her control and that scared her more than anything. She hated that someone that you cared so deeply for, that you loved so much, could just up and leave, or die, leaving you alone to face the world, to pick up the pieces of your broken, mourning heart. She just didn't want to feel anymore, she wanted to escape from it all, even though she knew that wasn't an option, that it wasn't something that could ever happen. She tried to imagine herself melting into the shower, dissolving down the drain, and letting it take her far, far away from there. But as much as she wanted to run, she knew she couldn't, Buffy needed her, Liam needed her, and the last thing she could ever do, was leave them now. Though she wasn't opposed to leaving later, after they no longer needed her around. Until then, she would bear.

_Meanwhile…_

"Are you going to go back to school?" Dawn asked as she walked with Connor down the quiet street. The mood in the apartment had been tense, and that was a generous statement, and she had been desperate to escape, finding that it was only making her depressed to be around it.

"I'm not sure. If they need me, I plan on staying as long as they need help." He shrugged, his eyes continuing to look forward. They had been friends for years now and yet he was feeling so uncomfortable in her presence. Not because he didn't know her, not because he didn't like her, but because he felt that he did like her, like, for the first time, he was seeing her for the first time. He felt his hand clench into a fist, his only defense against the urge to reach out and touch her, to smooth her soft, long, brown hair.

"Oh." She whispered, barely audible for even him to hear but he did.

"What?" He asked, realizing that a few minutes had passed in silence and as he turned to look at her, he could see that she was mulling over something, that her brain was clouded with thoughts. He wished that he could read her mind, wished that he could get inside of it and know exactly what she was thinking, feeling… The electric current that seemed to pass between them confused him, and he wondered if she felt it too, or if it was only in his imagination.

"I want to stay too but I don't think Buffy wants me too." She said softly.

"Why would you say that?"

"I just don't feel like I can really help like everyone else can."

"That's not true." Before he could register what he was doing, he found that his hands were on her shoulders, turning her body towards his so that she was facing him.

"What am I going to do? What can I do? I'm useless."

"You can be there for her, support her, support Liam. Dawn, you are not useless. Never say that about yourself. You have been there for your sister when she has needed you the most and you can be there for her now. I don't think that she would turn you away." His fingers were pushing back her hair from her face, he wanted her to look at him, to see that she was telling him the truth, and she finally allowed their eyes to met and he couldn't help but see the hurt that was swimming around in her eyes. Before he knew what he was doing, he was bending down, his face moving closer to hers, letting his lips press against hers.

**A/N:**

Ahh finally an update! I apologize for how long it's taken... Blame it on Twilight... I just started reading the series last Sunday and I'm about 150 pages into the last book... I can't seem to put it down... Hence the reason I haven't really updated, I'm too much in love with Edward to think about anything else (that includes school work, as I'm hopelessly behind on that as well)... Haha. Anyways, it's an emotional chapter... Hope you all don't mind that... But it was kind of what I felt like writing tonight... Anyways, I hope that you all liked the chapter! I want to continue to thank everyone for sending me your comments and letting me know what you think! Please don't stop! Can't wait to hear how you liked this chapter!


	38. Authors Note

Hey guys! Sorry that I didn't get a new chapter up… I'm kind of blocked right now so I'm working on my first Twilight story because I thought of something that I wanted to do… Sorry… I hope to work through it by the end of the weekend so look for updates (this authors note will be gone when I finally replace it with the REAL chapter). I just wanted to apologize.

If you are interested in Twilight, check out the other story (it's called, Baby You Can Stop Running)… I'm surprised with how easily this story is flowing… Granted I'm not sure how long it's going to last. I think I just needed a break from Meet You There… I needed to step back and think again… I've seemed to have written myself into a road block… Though I do have a few paragraphs of chapter 38… I just don't want to half ass it because you, my readers, are fantastic and deserve better than that!

Just wanted to apologize again!


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